by Krystle Rose
Month 4
This was why she had placed Owen firmly in the friend zone. He was off-limits as her brother’s best friend and it was the same the other way around. He knew that, she knew that, and it was why they both needed to keep things simple. Nomi just hated that her body was betraying her logical mind. Whenever Owen touched her or said something flirty, she turned to mush, even though she knew better than to let him get to her like that. She just couldn't help it, a part of her was done holding back and that part of her was slowly taking over.
Nomi knew she wasn’t the only one who had feelings like that toward Owen. Many women swooned over him and practically fell at his feet for his attention. It had been that way for as long as Nomi knew him. He’d always been handsome and charismatic, with just the right amount of cockiness. He drove a decent car and loved to party, he was smart enough to hold a serious conversation, but not so intelligent that you’d feel stupid around him. Owen had a seriously chiseled body and dimples when he smiled -- fucking dimples -- and, man those eyes were killer. All of which was oh so easy to fall for.
What irritated Nomi was the fact that she had been able to fend off these feelings for years, yet now, for some reason, things had changed. It was only going to get harder now that she knew Owen was feeling something, too. Sure, he hadn’t come right out and said it, but in his own way, he had. When he'd admitted that the change between them was there and that it was the reason he'd stayed away. That was answer enough for Nomi.
The worst part was that he’d gone and thrown in the whole ‘sister’ thing. It felt… gross. Maybe she could just think of that whenever she started to have those little butterflies erupting inside of her. Perhaps that would be enough to dissuade her.
Probably not.
In fact, he's all she could think about during her weekend away in Tahoe. The drive was awful, the cabin was musty and dirty, the beds were incredibly uncomfortable, and everyone was miserable, not just Nomi. However, she was the only one lost in her thoughts and oblivious to what was going on around her. She didn’t even remember what she’d been given as gifts or what she had given out, either. There was hardly anything she could remember about the holiday because her head wasn't there; it was somewhere else, entirely.
When they got back home, Nomi decided that it was finally time to get down to the hard stuff she'd been putting off. Ready to face her demons and reflect on her previous relationships, she sat down to confront the ugliness. She needed to figure out what should change moving forward and what she wanted -- no, what she deserved -- from her next boyfriend and for herself.
Nomi made a list of all her exes and how long they had dated. Then she wrote down why they’d broken up and, looking at the list, she was disappointed to see that there was a trend. Not only were there very small windows of time between each of her relationships, but she had an obvious type of man she gravitated toward and it wasn’t a good thing. Yes, she was willing to admit her faults in each relationship, but one after another, these men had mentally, emotionally, or physically abused her. They’d lied, cheated, and used her. Yet, she had sought them out repeatedly, knowing they weren't worth her time and energy.
Nomi realized that underneath it all, she was the problem. She dated these kinds of guys, expecting different results each time, only to be disappointed when they turned out to be no better than the last. It was literally the definition of insanity. When each relationship turned sour or ugly, she would be disappointed, angry, and heartbroken. Even though she should have seen it coming from a mile away. Instead of that making her angry for not being smarter in the past, Nomi was just sad. Saddened by the fact that she had let herself conform to this trend and put herself out there to get hurt time after time.
Well, no more. It was time to start a new list; one that was honest, realistic, and something Nomi would stick to. She jotted down the qualities she wanted in a man: Personality traits, manners, morals, beliefs, life goals, etc. It was important to expect that no man could meet all of her expectations, but the baseline stuff had to be there and these were those qualifications.
Feeling confident with her list, she started another. Nomi wrote down all of her good qualities: Outgoing, adventurous, honest, loyal. Then she added another right next to it where she was candid about her drawbacks: Shy, anti-social, jealous, workaholic. Someone would have to like her for all of those things and maybe despite some of them. If they couldn’t, then Nomi wouldn’t waste her time on that relationship. She promised herself that, from now on, she would face prospective boyfriends with this list and if they ran, so be it. There would be no more settling for less than what she deserved.
“I think it’s fantastic,” Canaan said when she told him about it. “I’m tired of seeing you with dirtbags. You deserve better and I’m glad you’re finally realizing it.”
Canaan knew about her 'year of discovery' plan and, of course, approved of it. So this was the icing on the cake for him. He looked relieved that his younger sister was taking the time to better herself. Nomi just wished that she would rub off on him and Canaan would get his act together, too. One could only hope.
“So, when does this list take effect?”
“Immediately, but I’m not in a hurry to use it. I meant it when I said I would swear off all of this crap for a while.”
“Yeah, but a whole year? Come on,” he scoffed.
“I’ve got a plan and I aim to stick to it. Besides, tomorrow starts a new year. New year, new me.”
“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like it,” Canaan admitted as he sat down on the sofa next to her.
They were in the living room, watching Deadpool until it was time to head out to the NYE party. The two of them were riding together to an event in town, where practically everyone would be in attendance. The city organized food, vendors, and a band for the shindig. They’d have sparklers and a colorful countdown display, all in a place with the best view of Mount Shasta. It was a lot of fun and Nomi was looking forward to it, as much as she hated being around that many people.
“Just don’t take it too far, okay?” her brother asked of her. “I don’t want you missing out on something great just because you’re so focused on meeting a deadline.”
“I won’t. I’m open, I’m just not… eager.”
“That’s fair.”
“We’re leaving!” Their father shouted from the doorway.
They each tilted their heads back to see their parents about to head out the door. Both of them responded with a ‘goodbye’ then Canaan looked down at the watch on his wrist.
“I guess we should start getting ready, too.”
“I’ll get dressed,” she said, peeling herself off the couch.
She lugged herself upstairs and picked out an outfit for the night, then styled her hair and did her makeup. It took all of a half-hour to prepare herself. Nomi even beat Canaan in getting ready, which was rare, if not unheard of.
The doorbell rang and she guessed it might be her parents, having forgotten something, so she yelled out to her brother that she would get it. Then she jogged down the steps and into the entryway. Twisting the deadbolt, Nomi pressed down on the handle and opened the wooden barrier.
It clearly was not her parents.
“Hey, bro!” Canaan greeted excitedly from behind her.
“He’s… coming with us?” Nomi uttered.
“Yup!” Her sibling announced. Then to Owen, he said, “I’ve just got to grab my shoes and jacket. Ready in a minute.”
He dashed away to collect his things, leaving Nomi and Owen alone in the doorway. They stared at one another, her wide-eyed and gawking, him shifting from the toes of his boots to the heels.
“Of course.”
“Surprise,” he said softly.
Damn him and that sexy, low voice!
You’re like a sister to me! She replayed in her head in an effort to banish the tingling in her skin brought on by his tone.
“Ready?” Canaan queried, now fit to leave. He shoved Nom
i’s jacket into her hands and hitched his chin toward the driveway, saying, “C’mon.”
Smacking Owen on the shoulder, he urged his friend to walk along with him and Nomi was glad for it. They could be chummy all night for all she cared, as long as they stayed far away from her. She was excited for this evening and she didn’t want anyone or anything ruining it. Especially not Owen and his natural appeal.
The two boys loaded into the front seats and Nomi climbed into the back. She hated this piece of crap Pontiac, especially because it was only a two-door, which meant she had to squeeze in behind Canaan’s driver seat just to be crammed in the back for the remainder of the drive. His radio volume was stuck on high and he had a whopping four stations to choose from, so instead, he played Van Halen on repeat from a cassette tape that was older than he was.
Luckily, the ride wasn’t a long one and Nomi supposed she should have been glad that she hadn’t had to sit next to Owen the entire time. When they finally arrived, her brother and his cohort hurried off to take in the festivities and Nomi slowly wandered up to the area where the band was playing.
It was late and it was mostly only adults left partying. Soon, the real event would take place and once that was over, the crowd would thin out tremendously, with only a few drunk party-goers left behind to close up shop. Security would clear them out by one a.m. and they’d spend the rest of the early morning cleaning up.
“Nomi!”
She turned just in time to catch Tess in her arms as the woman launched herself at Nomi. She squealed and hugged her tightly, rocking from side to side. Her friend had come up for the festivities, the first visit since summer, and she was elated to see her old buddy.
“I’ve been looking for you all night!” she announced.
“We just got here,” Nomi told her, giggling.
“Of course Canaan would never show up on time to a party,” Tess said with a roll of her eyes.
“Where’s Lim?”
Every time they talked on the phone, Tess would go on and on about her new boyfriend, Lim, but Nomi had yet to meet him. She looked forward to finally putting a face to the man she’d heard so much about. Mainly because she could tell how amazingly happy he made Tess and that was truly special. Nomi was glad her friend had found a good guy and she couldn't wait to meet him.
“He’s getting us some hot chocolate. God, I'm so eager to introduce you,” Tess screeched again. Taking Nomi’s hands, she questioned, “Did you bring a date?”
“Oh, I didn’t tell you,” she started. She hadn’t been able to get a word in edgewise with all the talk about Lim for the past few months. “I’m taking a break from relationships.”
“Good for you,” Tess endorsed. Then, realizing what tonight was, she wrinkled her brow worriedly and asked, “But who will you kiss at midnight?”
Nomi had thought about that. This would be the first New Year that she didn’t have somebody to smooch since she was fourteen. That was sixteen continuous years of having a boy to kiss at midnight. It was probably for the best that she didn’t go on with the tradition. After all, it was meant to bring good luck, but so far that hadn’t been the case, so maybe not kissing someone this year would bring her better results.
“No one. I’m going to enjoy the countdown with friends."
Her pal hugged her again, but not for as long this time because a man approached them carrying two steaming cups and wearing a proud smile on his face.
“Lim! This is Nomi,” Tess said, cuddling up to her beau instead of Nomi.
“It’s very nice to meet you. Tess has told me so much,” he greeted.
He handed Tess her drink, then reached out his hand to shake Nomi’s. She accepted it and grinned warmly at him.
“Same.”
They were so sweet together it made her teeth hurt. She watched Lim rub Tess’ back methodically and kiss her forehead. It was almost too much for Nomi to handle. She looked around uncomfortably, then told them she was going to grab a caramel apple and meet them at the field when she was done. The two lovebirds bobbed their heads and strode together toward the park.
Nomi did as she said she would and went to get her dessert, then munched on it as she slowly made her way to where the crowd was gathering. It was ten minutes until midnight and no one wanted to be late. The show was set to be a good one.
“Hey, wait up,” someone said from behind her.
Nomi looked over her shoulder to see that Thomas Freidrich was jogging up behind her. She had gone to high school with him and they’d been pretty close acquaintances, having shared science class together Sophomore year. They usually chose to partner up together because they worked well with one another and Nomi was too shy to try and make it work with someone new each time. Besides, he did most of the work, which was great because she preferred to do all the writing.
It had been years since she’d last seen him, so it surprised her to find that he was joining her now so casually. Nomi gave him a friendly greeting and continued to chew on her caramel apple while she walked.
“It’s been a long time. How are you?”
“Yeah. Good, you?”
“Great. I got a job at a dealership in Redding, so I live there full time now. You still working at the restaurant?”
Nomi nodded.
“That’s cool,” Thomas lied. "I guess not much has changed, huh? You even look the same."
"Thanks, I think," she offered.
Thomas snickered and moved on.
“So, who are you here with tonight?”
“My brother and a few friends.”
“Let me guess,” he persuaded. “Tess and Jenna? And your brother’s friend, what was his name… Owen?”
“Jenna’s in Oregon, but yes to the rest,” Nomi agreed.
It wasn’t shocking that he remembered. It was a small town and they’d all grown up together, even if they weren’t all that close. Still, Thomas seemed pretty impressed with himself for having recalled that information.
"Yep, same ol' Nomi."
Again, she cringed and ignored him. Maybe she hadn't changed, but he sure had. He was more sure of himself now than he was back then. He'd been a shy, quiet nerd in high school, yet now he was awkward in an entirely different way.
When they reached the growing crowd, Nomi looked around for Tess, but couldn’t find her. She needed a viable excuse to get away from this guy.
Thomas appeared disappointed at her lack of response and brushed her arm with his hand. That brought her attention back to him with a snap.
“Hey,” he hinted. “It’s really nice to see you.”
“You, too."
This time it was Nomi's turn to lie. She gave him a weak smirk and looked away again.
“You look really good.”
The way he said that made her skin crawl, but Nomi didn't let on. She simply avoided his flirtation and started slowly moving away.
“Listen, I came alone and was wondering if you might want to partner up," Thomas mentioned, following close behind.
“Excuse me?” she said, stopping dead in her tracks.
“You know,” he shrugged. “At midnight.”
She sneered, “I’m good, thanks.”
"Come on, Nomi," he pleaded, "when are you gonna give me a chance?"
He drew designs in the sleeve of her jacket and Nomi yanked her arm away. She was trying to be nice, but he was making it incredibly difficult. Thomas gave her an angry expression and stepped closer.
"Any boy who gave you attention in high school got your attention back. Why am I the exception?"
"We're not in high school anymore, Thomas. I've grown up. I'm sorry if I hurt you back then by being oblivious to any advances you might have made."
"Would it have made a difference? If you had known."
"I don't know," she answered honestly.
"Make it up to me. Be my New Year's kiss," Thomas said gruffing, grabbing her by the shoulders.
He pulled her in, but Nomi resisted, pushing against his ches
t. She dropped her apple and grunted in an effort to shove him off.
“What are you doing? Let me go!"
"Come on, Nomi," he growled.
She ground her feet into the mud and her hands into his shoulders, pushing with all her might, but Thomas was stronger than he looked. He slightly shifted under her struggle but stayed on her with eagerness.
Then, out of nowhere, a huge fist came sailing past Nomi's ear and planted itself squarely in the middle of Thomas' face.
"She said no, asshole!"
Nomi heard a disgusting crunch as his features disappeared behind the punch and he fell to the ground in a heap. She gasped and fell back a few steps, to be caught with a brick wall. Only, it wasn't a brick wall, it was Owen's chest. He caught her easily and held her upright as Canaan imposed himself over Thomas.
The man looked up at Canaan with irritation, clutching his now broken and bleeding nose. Her brother closed his hands into balls of fury once again and snarled at Thomas, "Stay the fuck down."
He did as he was told and collapsed back onto the muddy earth beneath him. Canaan stayed, just in case, continuing to give him a look of warning.
"You alright?" Owen said into the top of Nomi's hair.
"Ye-yeah," she managed.
His hands ran up and down her arms, consoling her as she watched the scene unfold.
"Let's go," Canaan instructed them both.
Owen placed his palm on her back and led her along beside him as they followed her sibling away from the gathering, just as he had done the night of the Halloween party.
It reassured her and made her feel safe. Unapologetically, Nomi leaned into his hold and cuddled closer to him. Owen accepted her and slid his arm around her waist, cradling her while they walked.
"You go on ahead," he told Canaan when they reached the safety of his vehicle.
Both Nomi and her brother gave him a puzzled look. The fire in Owen's eyes spoke volumes and caused Nomi to shake her head vigorously. She clutched at his arm when he removed it from around her and pulled away.
