Magic in Light

by Krista Street

  “I was homeschooled.”

  “And friends? How did you make friends?”

  I plucked a small wildflower from the ground. “I didn’t. I don’t have many friends, cause like you said, it’s hard to meet people when you’re always on the go, but I have met a lot of interesting people. That’s one perk about traveling.”

  His eyes twinkled. “Who’s the most interesting person you’ve ever met?”

  I pulled another piece of grass and added it to the small bundle in my lap. “If I had to choose just one, I suppose it would be a gypsy woman I met when I was a teenager. She wasn’t a client. I met her at a random park we stopped to have lunch in.”

  Logan’s chin tilted my way. “What was interesting about her?”

  “Everything. Her clothes, the way she talked, how her body moved. Not only was she beautiful, but there was this ethereal and almost mystical quality to her, like she knew your deepest secrets and at any moment was about to whisper them in your ear.” I cocked my head. “The funny thing was, she seemed to know about me, about the magic inside me, yet I don’t know how she could have since she was a stranger I met at a random rest stop, but she seemed to seek me out. I was sitting on a swing, pouting about something or another as teenagers do, while my mom, nan, and Cecile fixed lunch. That woman approached me, sat on the swing beside me, and said something I’ve never forgotten.”

  Logan picked up another pebble and turned it over in his finger. He cocked an eyebrow, appearing amused. “Are you gonna tell me or leave me hanging?”

  I laughed, not able to help it given his expression. “She said that a time would come when I would feel both the dark and the light.” I shook my head. “When I asked her what she meant by that, she simply smiled and leaned closer before saying, ‘You’ll see,’ and with that, she stood and walked away. Bells jingled around her ankles as her long black hair swayed around her skirt. Later, when I told my mom about her and asked what she could have meant, my mom didn’t have the slightest clue.”

  “Don’t you refer to your magic as light?”

  “Yeah, we figured it could be related to my healing light, but we don’t have darkness in us, and again, there was no way she could possibly have known about my magic or healing light since she was a random stranger.”

  Logan frowned, still holding the pebble between his fingers. “Unless she was a psychic,” he said quietly.

  “A psychic? What do you mean?”

  He smiled, his bright white teeth flashing in the sunshine. “Nothing.” He pushed up on his elbow more. “So tell me more about you. What kind of stuff do you like? Books? Movies? TV shows? Hobbies?”

  I raised my eyebrows, reminding myself that his interest could only be out of politeness and nothing more, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking, “Do you usually ask your employers these kinds of things?”

  His carefree expression wavered. “No, not usually. Sorry, if you’d rather not tell me—”

  “No, it’s fine. I’d rather we talk than stare at the grass with awkward silence between us.”

  Logan chuckled. “Well, when you put it that way.”

  I laughed.

  His gaze stayed twinkling. “So you gonna fill me in on your hobbies?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t read many books, but I love light fiction—sweet romances or comedies—that kind of stuff. As for movies and TV shows, comedies usually. My line of work can get a little heavy, so keeping my spare time filled with lighter stuff helps.”

  The wind ruffled the thick dark hair on the top of his head. “That makes sense.”

  I eyed him shyly. “And you? What do you like?”

  “Guy stuff, for the most part. Action movies, spy novels, and crime shows. Although, I can sit through a romantic comedy if I’m asked to.”

  Probably with Crystal. I pushed that thought away. Logan had no idea that I’d seen his text, so I decided to play dumb. “Does Lila like romantic comedies?”

  “On occasion. I’ll watch one with her if she asks me to.”

  “You must be a nice brother. Mike would rather run laps than watch a romantic comedy with Cecile and me, and he doesn’t like to run anywhere.”

  Logan laughed. “Lila does know how to wrap me around her little finger. She can do the same to my dad and brother. It’s hard to say no to her, but she’s a good kid, if a little spoiled. Since she’s the baby in the family, everyone tends to dote on her.”

  I leaned back on my elbows. “It must be nice to have a sister and a brother. I’d love to have a sibling, but obviously, in my case it’s a little different.”

  Logan’s brow knitted. “Why’s that?”

  I shrugged. “The women in my family only ever have one child. We’re a line of women who birth sole daughters. Having a brother or a sister was never in the cards for me.”

  “Is that part of your magic?”

  My lips parted. Did he just ask about my magic like it was normal? Not even a hint of disbelief? Being the only supernatural in the world, I was used to skepticism, even derision.

  I shook myself. “That’s what we think, but honestly, none of us are entirely sure.” I patted my belly. “But apparently, the shop closes after we have our daughters.”

  Logan’s gaze strayed to my abdomen then traveled upward to my breasts jutting up toward the sky. He hastily looked away and grabbed another pebble. The small stone was hurtling down the valley before I could blink.

  He kept his gaze averted when he said, “So tell me more about you. What’s the best place you ever visited?”

  I took a deep breath. Girlfriend, Dar. He has a girlfriend. “Um … maybe the Gulf. We spent time down there one summer…”

  Chapter 9

  The morning drifted by as Logan and I sat in the sunshine talking about everything and anything. As much as I hated to admit it, I was coming to like him. A lot. He was a good listener who seemed genuinely interested in hearing what I had to say, making me wonder if our small talk had turned into genuine interest on his part versus politeness.

  Of course, that growing realization only made my predicament worse. It was hard enough dealing with my body’s intrinsic attraction to him while knowing he probably had a girlfriend, but also knowing that I genuinely liked the guy underneath the sexy packaging was so much harder to deal with.

  Another longing filled me as I wished fervently for something that would probably never be.

  “You must be hungry,” he said after my stomach growled for the second time.

  I sheepishly slapped a hand over my abdomen. “I should have had breakfast before we left. My mom always teased me about how loud my stomach can rumble.”

  He eyed me curiously. “You’ve never mentioned your father, only your mom.” In the sunshine, his dark-brown eyes revealed flecks of gold. “Did he not travel with you?”

  I shook my head. “My dad left before I was born. I have no idea who he is.”

  “I didn’t realize.”

  “It’s okay. I don’t think about him much anymore. Besides, Mike’s been like a dad to me.”

  “And your mom? Where is she now? To be honest, I’ve been wondering since you talk about her so much.”

  My breath caught in my throat as I looked away. “She’s, uh, she’s dead.”

  “Oh.” His frown deepened. “Sorry. I shouldn’t be asking about this kind of stuff—”

  “No, it’s okay. Really.” I forced a brave smile. I grabbed another piece of grass and ran it through my fingers. The small stalk felt coarse and dry.

  “Do you…” He cleared his throat. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  I took a deep breath. Do I? I usually never talked about my mom, other than the few random comments I’d made to Logan. Not anymore.

  I kept her memory locked away like a closely guarded secret. Part of that was because Cecile and Mike still grieved for her too. Cecile had been my mother’s best friend, like the sister she’d never had. And Mike had never admitted it, but I’d always had a hunch he’d been secre
tly in love with my mother.

  Of course, Mike’s touch did to my mother what other people’s touch did to me. Since he wasn’t a mate, she couldn’t tolerate it, and he knew that. So, he’d never pushed for anything, but I’d seen him look at her, longingly, lovingly, keeping his feelings and wishes locked inside and only shining through when he thought no one was watching.

  I shook my head sadly. One might think talking about her would be how all of us coped, but in reality, usually Cecile and Mike couldn’t mention her without getting emotional, and they seemed to think that they needed to be strong for me—not cry or show grief.

  Because of that, we’d all fallen into the roles of pretenders. We all pretended that we didn’t grieve or cry anymore. Yet the reality of how I felt couldn’t be further from that.

  Thick emotion wrapped around my throat, like vines choking a plant, and before I thought better of it, I said, “She was my whole world. I loved her so much, and honestly, I feel lost without her.” I plucked another wildflower. “My entire world shattered on the day she died.”

  I could feel Logan watching me, his gaze unwavering. “How did she die?” His quiet, steady words carried on the breeze.

  “In a car accident.” I swallowed thickly. So far, I’d kept the tears at bay. If I stopped, they would stay there.

  I glanced at Logan. He watched me quietly, patiently, letting me decide how much I wanted to reveal.

  Seeing that was my undoing. Before I could stop myself, it all came spewing out.

  “It was raining that night, a year ago now, when she and my nan died. The accident report said my mom lost control of the car going around an embankment, probably from the wet roads, and they both died at the scene. The paramedics couldn’t save either of them. Even if I had been there, I don’t know if I could have healed them. One of the paramedics said my nan died on impact and my mom shortly after.”

  I ripped the grass apart in my lap. “It’s a thought that’s haunted me ever since. If I had been in the car, if I had survived, would my light have been able to save my family, even if they’d been a second away from death?” I shook my head. “The not knowing drove me mad for so many months. Now, it’s just left a gaping hole in my heart. I’ll never know.”

  Logan sat up and inched closer.

  I shrugged bitterly. “It’s one thing I hate about our gift. We can’t heal ourselves. Only other people. My mom couldn’t have saved herself.”

  A moment passed in which I felt his unspoken words, letting me know it was okay to continue, but my emotions had bubbled up so close to the surface, as they always did when I thought about them, that I didn’t trust myself to say more. I took a deep, unsteady breath. Just breathe, Dar.

  Logan shuffled closer, wind whipping through his hair. His large thighs were only inches away. “I’m really sorry. I can tell that you loved them very much.”

  “Yeah. I did. I loved them more than anything.”

  His penetrating gaze felt like embers burning away the outer shell I’d spent the past year erecting around my emotions. Creating that protective bubble had been the only way I’d coped, worked, and survived.

  But now, I felt the hard wall encasing my inner grief crumbling in his presence.

  Before I could stop it, a tear slipped out. I blinked rapidly as they began to blur my vision. “Sorry! I shouldn’t have started. I should have kept my mouth shut. I—”

  “It’s okay. You can cry.” Logan sidled closer, his warm thigh pressing against mine, just as another traitorous tear escaped.

  He placed an arm around my shoulders, almost hesitantly, as tears flowed from my eyes in persistent silent rivers.

  In the last year, I’d become very good at silent crying. It kept Mike and Cecile from worrying about me if they didn’t see how deep my grief went.

  In a soft voice, Logan said, “I’m sorry you lost them.” His hand drifted down, caressing my back. “I’m really, really sorry.”

  I tried to reply but couldn’t. If I didn’t get myself under control, I would be sobbing uncontrollably in seconds.

  I closed my eyes and concentrated on the feel of Logan’s hand drifting up and down my back. Through my shirt, his hot palm warmed my skin. Logan’s touching me. Actually touching me.

  The dawning realization that Logan’s large body was pressing into the side of mine, and all I felt was comfort, created a surreal feeling in my chest. His energy flowed along my skin like a warm cocoon, not penetrating my nerves as my light stayed safely locked away. It was the same reaction as my experiences with him the other day. That only squeezed my heart more.

  I wiped my tears on my shirt, dabbing away the moisture on my cheeks. “Have you ever lost anyone?”

  “One grandparent, and a few … friends but no immediate family like you have.”

  “You’ve lost friends?” I peeked up at him through what I assumed were red-rimmed eyes. He either didn’t notice my blotchy complexion or was too kind to comment. His sympathetic gaze hadn’t lessened.

  “Two to be exact, but that was a few years ago.” His jaw locked, a haunting shadow coming over his face.

  “Were you there?” I asked, assuming they were more military friends.

  “Yeah.” He dipped his head, his hand still moving up and down my back. It created such a soothing tingle along my skin that I wanted to close my eyes.

  “I’m sorry.”

  He shook his head, the corner of his mouth tilting up sadly. “It was a long time ago, but it’s something I’ll carry with me until I die, probably similar to you.”

  “Does it get easier?”

  His eyebrows drew together, his gaze drifting to the distant hills. “It gets … different. I still think about them, but not every day anymore, but sometimes things happen that remind me of them, then…” He shrugged. “Then it comes rushing back but not as intensely as it used to.” He paused, his hand still moving steadily along my back. “Someday you’ll be able to think of your mom and nan without the intense pain you feel now. It may take a few years, five years, ten years … hell, maybe even twenty years, but at some point in the future you’ll be able to remember them without it choking you.”

  My breath rushed out, my gaze dropping to my legs still crisscrossed beneath me. “Do you know this is the first conversation where I’ve really talked about them since they died?”

  “Is that a good thing?”

  “Yeah, it is. Just talking about it, telling you about them, in a way, it keeps their memory alive. I think that’s what I’m most afraid of. That if I don’t speak of them, they’ll be forgotten.” I swallowed thickly. “And they both deserve to be remembered.”

  “Are they buried somewhere? Or cremated?”

  “They’re buried in a cemetery in California. That’s where they died.”

  “Maybe someday I can go there with you.”

  I snapped my head up.

  His expression had once again returned to one filled with calmness and patience. My lips parted. I had no doubt he meant it, that if I truly needed a bodyguard for months, or possibly years, he would one day visit my family’s graves with me.

  My heart rate picked up. Even though Logan was a potential mate, the memory of Crystal’s text flashed to the forefront of my mind.

  …miss you. When can you call? I’ve been…

  I stiffened and inched away, even though I loathed for this moment to end, but guilt bit me hard.

  What are you doing, Dar? Making potential plans with Logan? Do you think Crystal would like that her boyfriend is comforting you?

  I sat up straighter, desperately trying to bury my emotions for Logan.

  His light caresses stopped, his hand pausing mid-movement. Clearing his throat, he pulled his hand away and raked it through his hair, his large bicep as round and hard as a boulder.

  I peeked up at him. His dark eyes turned to a stormy sea as he gazed out over the landscape.

  I wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks and hastily stood. “We should get back. Mike and Ce
cile are probably wondering where we are.”

  Logan nodded, a deep groove appearing between his eyes. “Of course.”

  He wouldn’t meet my gaze when he pushed himself up to stand. The earlier lightheartedness we’d shared had disappeared like dandelion seeds on the breeze.

  I swallowed tightly and began walking down the steep hill. Logan’s steady footsteps followed.

  By the time we reached the bus, a light sheen of sweat covered me, little drops of perspiration pooling between my breasts. But as much as I tried to focus on the physical exertion from the hike, I couldn’t stop the images that kept fluttering through my mind—unbidden thoughts of Logan touching me.

  Never mind that he had a girl missing him and that we hadn’t said two words to one another on the hike down. I kept imagining him with me, being with me—being the boyfriend I’d never had.

  Images of his large hands sliding over my slick body while his mouth sucked one of my breasts’ dusky peaks into his mouth kept entering my thoughts, despite my trying to push them away.

  I tried to cut myself some slack. I’d never had such an intensely emotional conversation with any man, and prior to meeting Logan, I’d thought I would be a virgin forever, never able to tolerate a man’s touch since I’d never met a potential mate before.

  But now…

  I knew what I was missing. My shoulders sagged. Of all people, I had to react to my bodyguard like that.

  But Mom said this is how our magic works. When we find a man who compliments our gift, our bodies know. The light subsides when that happens.

  I walked faster as the rest stop building appeared. And if I can tolerate Logan’s touch, surely, there’s still hope for me.

  Maybe I could meet another potential mate—a man who could actually be my boyfriend and didn’t have a girl waiting for him at home.

  Taking a deep breath, I hopped off the sidewalk to the parking lot. Logan stepped to my side. His forearm brushed mine, almost absentmindedly. From the looks of it, he was deep in thought too.

  The open bus door greeted us when we reached it. In the summer months, Mike often left it open to encourage fresh air through our home. Mike and Cecile’s conversation from within drifted to my ears. It sounded as if they were having lunch.