Lyrics of a Small Town

by Abbi Glines

  Rio rolled his eyes. “Genesis is the girl here with me, dumbass.”

  “Jesus, who named her?” Drake asked.

  Benji burst out laughing. “Maybe Jesus did!”

  It took Drake a minute to realize what he meant then he started laughing.

  “Gangs all here,” I said to Saul.

  He gave me a crooked grin. “Lucky us.”

  “Is Saul fucking smiling? What the hell is that?” Benji asked, and I turned my head to see him coming in our direction with a martini and a Jack and coke.

  “He will do that shit all night as long as she’s around,” Drake called out.

  Saul didn’t appear amused. He moved his arm from my shoulders and put his hand on my lower back. “You want a drink?” he asked me.

  I started to say no but decided perhaps a drink would help me tonight. I looked at the martini that Rio was taking from Benji. “Maybe one of those?” It sounded like a question and it kind of was.

  Saul moved and led me over to the bar with him. He picked up the shaker and then poured what was in it into a glass. “What the fuck is this drink?” he asked Benji.

  “Dirty martini. Add an olive,” he told him.

  Saul took an olive and put it in the glass before sliding it to me. “Thanks,” I said as he grabbed a bottle of beer from the ice bucket.

  “Don’t thank me yet. It may taste like shit. I don’t know what’s in it,” he replied.

  “Vodka mostly,” Benji replied.

  I looked at it, wondering if maybe I should have gone with something else. How much vodka was in this? I didn’t ask for fear of sounding like a dork.

  “Come on,” Saul said and led the way down to the balcony door.

  Rio was at the pool with his date. She had just gotten out of the water and was walking toward him dripping wet to take the martini he had brought her. The back of her bathing suit did not exist I realized when she turned her back to us.

  “Want to swim?” Saul asked me and I thought about my bikini. It didn’t seem so bad compared to Rio’s friends. At least most of my butt was covered up. It was the little bit that wasn’t that had me nervous. I looked down at the drink in my hand. Liquid courage.

  “After I drink this,” I replied then took a sip. It was a miracle I didn’t choke. I didn’t know what Benji had been shaking up with the vodka because I tasted nothing but vodka. Possibly a hint of olive but that was it.

  “Bad?” Saul asked, and I lifted my gaze to see him watching me.

  I shook my head and he laughed.

  Unable to keep from smiling, I added “Maybe a little.”

  He took a drink of his beer but continued smiling. I turned to look back at Rio then and saw the girl was looking at Saul. She wasn’t just looking; she was checking him out. I couldn’t blame her. He was hard not to look at. Especially when he was smiling.

  I took a bigger drink of the martini. I was going to need it and possibly more.

  Saul took my hand and led me over to the teak lounger that was wide enough for two and had a table for drinks on each side.

  “Where’s the music?” Drake’s voice rang out.

  He was walking down to the pool patio, wearing a pair of baby blue swim trunks with a beer in each hand. Behind him was Benji and a guy I hadn’t seen inside. He must have just arrived.

  Saul sat down on one side of the lounger then patted the spot beside him once. I put my drink on the table before sitting down. Saul rested his hand on my thigh and I reached for my drink, deciding I might just need another one after all. This wasn’t so bad. Country music came over the speakers and Rio groaned loudly.

  “You shouldn’t have let me pick it,” Drake said then dove into the water sideways.

  We sat there silently and Saul traced patterns with his fingertips on my leg. It was peaceful, even with the music and other partygoers. I finished my drink and felt very relaxed.

  “Do you have on sunblock,” Saul asked me.

  I nodded. “Always. Have you seen my skin?”

  His hand slipped between my thighs. “Yes, all of it,” he replied.

  I smiled at him and he sat up from his reclined positon. His lips brushed mine and then he bit my bottom lip. “We need to swim or we are going to have to go inside,” he told me.

  “Why?” I asked.

  “Because I can’t fuck you out here.”

  “Oh,” I gasped, and my body immediately reacted to his words.

  He stood up then and pulled off his tank then looked down at me. “Let’s get in.”

  I joined him and pulled the sundress over my head, realizing the vodka was to thank for my inhibition. When I dropped it on the lounger beside his shirt, he was staring at me. His gaze was appreciative but he seemed unhappy.

  “Fuck,” he muttered then took my hand and we walked to the water.

  When we got to edge, I saw Saul glaring angrily at Drake. “Not one motherfucking word,” he warned.

  Drake held up his hands. “I didn’t say shit.”

  “He’s making sure you don’t,” Rio called out from the other side of the pool.

  “Why aren’t you threatening Rio?” Drake asked defensively.

  “Don’t,” Saul said again.

  Thankfully Drake let it go. Saul pulled me farther in then he let go of my hand and he went under swimming across the length of the pool. The cold water was a relief from the sun and I walked in until it was over my breasts.

  “You’re new,” the guy that I hadn’t seen before said. He had just walked over and sat on the edge of the pool.

  “Yeah, I guess I am,” I replied.

  He nodded his head toward the other end of the pool. “How do you know Saul?” he asked me.

  “We, uh, well.” I wasn’t sure the proper answer for this.

  Saul’s head came up beside me but he didn’t look at me. He turned to the guy. “She’s with me, Hills,” he said.

  The guy shrugged. “I assumed that. I just didn’t know if this was a one night only thing since Fleur wasn’t here.”

  Saul tensed beside me and his jaw clenched. The guy was making an assumption based on what normally happened here. Saul had no reason to get upset over it. Unless he thought it would upset me. I touched his arm and tried to get him to look at me.

  “No, that’s not what it is,” he replied.

  His tone made it clear he was angry. “I get it. No worries,” Hills said and stood back up.

  Saul turned to me then and his hands went to my waist. “I’m done out here,” he said and I followed him out of the pool. He grabbed two towels and handed me one from a large teak cabinet.

  I wrapped it around me and watched as he picked up our dry things. No one said anything as we headed inside. I wondered if he was always like this at parties. I didn’t want to be the reason he didn’t enjoy them.

  When we were back in the house, I grabbed his arm to stop him. “Hey. What’s wrong?” I asked.

  He turned to look at me. “Nothing.”

  I wasn’t letting him off that easily. “Yeah, there is. You were angry the entire time we were out there.”

  “I’m dealing with shit,” he said.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” I asked him. Was something going on with his mom again that he hadn’t told me?

  A smile that didn’t match the frustrated look in his eyes crossed his face. He shook his head. “No, I don’t think I do.”

  That stung. I was just trying to help. “Okay.”

  His gaze stayed on mine for a few more moments and then he reached out and took my chin between his thumb and forefinger. “I warned you I was damaged. This is a part of it I didn’t realize I had an issue with.”

  “What does that mean?”

  Saul took a step toward me and closed the space between us. “Until you, I didn’t know I had a problem w
ith jealousy. I do. I’m dealing with possessiveness and that’s new to me.”

  “I’ve not done anything to make you jealous,” I pointed out.

  His gaze dropped down at the towel covering me up. “That bikini,” he said.

  “It covers up more than what the other girl out there was wearing did,” I pointed out.

  “I don’t care about who sees her body,” he replied.

  But he cared who saw mine. I wanted to be mad at him. I really did. I tried to get mad at him, but I couldn’t. He was being honest with me and he said he had never felt like this before. I felt it then… the falling.

  And I fell a little more.

  “I thought it was just going to be us,” I told him.

  He pulled me to him. “You wore it for me then?”

  I nodded.

  “I wish they would all fucking leave,” he said.

  “I thought you liked parties.”

  He pressed a kiss to the corner of my mouth. “I’m finding I don’t like them at all.”

  “Why?”

  He kissed the other corner of my mouth. “Because the void I tried to fill with shit like that isn’t empty anymore.”

  His mouth covered mine then and I kissed him with all the words I couldn’t say.

  Thirty-One

  A week and a half after I told Rio about Hillya, he walked into the cafe. I hadn’t tried to talk to him about it again. Saul thought I should wait it out and give Rio time to decide how he felt about things. Last night at Saul’s, I had caught Rio looking at me as if he wanted to say something but he never did. Today he showed up at Sips and Signs so that must mean he was ready.

  Hillya was putting cupcakes and lunch sandwiches in the display case and didn’t see him enter. I gave the customer in front of me their bag and coffee then turned my attention to him. He was ready to talk to her or he wouldn’t have come.

  “Hey,” I said as he walked up to the counter.

  He looked over at Hillya just as she was standing up. Her gaze found him and she froze. When she’d asked me if he wanted to meet after I told him what she had told me, I had explained that he needed time. She didn’t bring it up again, but I knew she was curious. I just hadn’t known what to tell her.

  “Hello,” she said after a moment and walked toward us.

  “Hi,” Rio said.

  “I would do the introduction but that seems pointless,” I said, hoping to ease the tension.

  “Yes, it does,” Hillya replied, keeping her gaze on Rio.

  He glanced at me then back to her. “I, uh, I have questions.”

  Hillya smiled and gave a small nod of her head. “I assumed you would,” she said. “I want to answer all that I can for you.”

  Rio glanced at me again, looking unsure. He had made it this far, but he didn’t seem prepared for the next step.

  “Tomorrow we are closed,” I reminded Hillya. It was the fourth of July and although I was sure business would be booming, Hillya said she always closed for the fourth.

  She smiled brightly. “Yes, we are and I always cook a big lunch for the fourth. My sister and her children and grandchildren come over. We take the boat out and the younger ones water ski.” She paused then looked from me to Rio. “I would love for the two of you to be there.”

  I wasn’t sure what my plans might be. Saul hadn’t mentioned another party at his house. The last two gatherings that the guys had, Saul had come to Gran’s and stayed there with me.

  “We are having something tomorrow night, but for lunch, I could come by,” he said, cutting his eyes to me as if he needed some sort of agreement. I nodded.

  “That is wonderful,” Hillya replied, looking truly pleased.

  “What time should we be there?” I asked her for Rio’s sake.

  “Eleven would be perfect. I can introduce you to,” she paused, and I could see the uncertainty in her gaze.

  “Relatives?” I asked her with a reassuring smile.

  She nodded her head. “Yes, relatives.”

  Rio said nothing.

  “We will be there at eleven,” I replied. Then I turned my attention back to Rio.

  He met my gaze. “Okay, yeah,” he muttered then he turned and left.

  When the door closed behind him, I looked back at Hillya who was watching him walk to his Jeep.

  “He will come around,” I said.

  She sighed then turned her gaze to me. “I hope so.”

  I did too. I was promising something I wasn’t positive about. Rio had more hurt than I did about our father. I knew his life was a much harder one than I had been dealt. Perhaps he blamed Hillya for not rescuing him. That seemed unfair. Shouldn’t he hold that against his mother’s parents.

  Hillya walked back to the kitchen and I waited until she was gone to slip the phone from my pocket and text Rio: You agreed to this. You better do it. She’d old and lived a very lonely life. Remember that.

  Rio didn’t reply.

  Before I Ieft work, I texted Saul to let him know I was leaving. For the first time in two weeks, he didn’t respond. On my drive home, I decided to go to the Hendrix IV and see if he was with Lily. She had skipped the past two days’ AA meetings and I knew Saul was concerned. If he didn’t go with her, she would always stop going. I hated how that wore on him. He carried so much guilt over something he shouldn’t have to be responsible for–his own mother.

  The security guard recognized my car and waved me through without me needing to show him my card. When I turned into the parking deck, I saw him. Saul was here and he wasn’t alone.

  Stepping out of the main elevators, not the one that went to Lily’s penthouse, Saul and a familiar blonde woman emerged. They walked out and then stopped and talked. It was obvious they were close. They stood close. Too close. They bent their heads toward the other when they spoke as if what they had to say was private.

  The blonde was as stunning as I remembered her. She was wearing white shorts and a peach halter top. Her platinum blonde hair hung over one shoulder. They didn’t notice me or the other guests that passed by them to get on the elevators. Whatever they were speaking of had their complete attention.

  When Saul stepped closer to her, I knew this was all I could take. Backing up, I turned my car around and headed back to Gran’s. The scene in my head would haunt me. I could try and explain it away, but I didn’t have an excuse that seemed plausible. Saul had been standing so close to her and they had been talking like people with a connection. They knew each other, and it was obvious.

  The lump in my throat grew the entire drive home. Pulling into Gran’s driveway, I thought of the last time I saw the blonde woman. It had been the only time. The sweet little girl Gran had left her scarves to and babysat. Isla Evans was a married woman with a child. There was no reason she should be at a luxury condo complex, talking to a younger man with such familiarity.

  Stepping out of the car, I thought of the list. I thought of Keerly. I believed Gran had sent me there for one simple purpose: to give Keerly something to enjoy. But had Gran sent me anywhere for a simple reason?

  “Was that your way of warning me, Gran?” I asked her aloud.

  Had Gran known this and wanted to make sure I did too? I had thought Gran put me in Saul’s path on purpose. But what if she hadn’t? What if Saul was just going to be there and she wanted to be sure I knew he wasn’t for me?

  The house was quiet when I went inside and there was still no message on my phone from Saul. I closed the door and locked it behind me. Looking out into the night, I wondered if he would come and if he did what I would say.

  I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but I had to know. I would have to ask Saul. It was only fair.

  Taking off my clothes, I stepped into the shower and wished it could wash away the hurt and disappointment. Gran had sent me to that house for a reason, but what was the
reason? Why didn’t she just leave me a list of things she wanted me to know? For example, who Isla Evans was.

  The text on my phone went off as I stepped out of the shower. I dried off and picked it up to see it was from Saul. I didn’t open it, but went into the bedroom to get dressed. As I pulled on the soft cotton tank top I liked to sleep in, the phone began to ring.

  Seeing Saul’s name, I was torn but on the third ring, I answered.

  “Hello,” I said.

  “I’m at the door,” he replied.

  I stood there in my bedroom, trying to decide what to do.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t text you back.”

  His voice sounded tired. What had happened today? Would he even tell me?

  “I’m going to bed,” I replied.

  He sighed wearily. “Please, Henley,” he begged.

  Closing my eyes tightly, I made the decision. I couldn’t accuse him of something when I didn’t know the details. It wasn’t as if he had been kissing her. They had just been talking, closely, and what appeared intimately.

  I walked out of my bedroom and down the hall until I saw him standing on the other side of the door. His eyes locked with mine and I stood there, wondering what if he had been with Isla … he hadn’t made me any promises. He had never said we were in a relationship. We were together every day. We had sex. But did that make us exclusive.

  No. But Isla was a married woman with a child. That made it adultery. If he was doing anything with her that was. I had to know before I pushed him away. Seeing him standing out there, I couldn’t turn away from him. We might not be in an official relationship, but my heart didn’t seem to care about the details.

  I ended the call and went to open the door. Saul stepped inside and closed it behind himself. Never once breaking eye contact with me.

  “You locked it,” he said.

  “You told me to,” I reminded him.

  A tiny smirk played on his lips. “Yeah, I did.”

  “I’m tired,” I told him.

  He reached for my hand and threaded his fingers through mine. “Then let’s go to bed.”

  I looked down at our hands. His much larger and tanned one against my smaller pale one. Being with him always felt right. Or it had. Until now. Until I didn’t know if all those warnings I received meant something.