Old Haunts

by Nova Nelson

  I narrowed my eyes at her but said nothing, only sipped my tea.

  But they weren’t going to let me off that easy. Dmitri said, “Out of curiosity, when was the last time you spoke with him?”

  I felt my face flush as I tried to remember. Today was Wednesday, and we’d last spoken on Sunday, when we’d gone for a casual bite at Franco’s on his night off. I’d filled him in on the fact that, yes, the dead guy had shown up at my bedroom window, and no, he hadn’t laid a hand on me. It’d been an oddly pleasant night together with very little friction. And perhaps because of that, very little passion. When I’d yawned over my fettuccini alfredo, he’d laughed good-naturedly and walked me home. It struck me as particularly Tanner-like behavior—caring, not needy—and the fact that he’d simply kissed me, bid me goodnight, and left without asking to come upstairs left me boggled.

  Though, to be fair, the last time I’d invited Donovan upstairs had been a disaster. Monster, it seemed, felt the need to defend her witch’s honor by making sure Tanner’s best friend and I didn’t have a fun moment alone in his absence, if she had anything to do with it. Donovan had been lucky to escape with all his limbs that night. So maybe that explained it.

  Anyway, that made it three days since we’d last spoken. Was three days too long for a happy couple to go without speaking?

  But instead of asking that and possibly giving Dmitri the satisfaction of being right, I said, “What are you, my relationship counselor?”

  He shrugged. “I guess so, if we’re going off of the fact that you just spent the last five minutes painting your romantic dilemma in vivid detail for us.”

  Ruby lifted her teacup to her lips to try to hide her giggle.

  “Oh, you’re so funny,” I said, knowing he had a strong point.

  Suddenly, a strange scratching noise caught my attention, and I turned toward the front door where it was coming from.

  “I tried to talk her out of it,” Grim said. “But she won’t listen to reason!”

  It was Monster. The munchkin cat was clawing at the front door like she’d resigned herself to digging right through it if no one opened it for her. And by the looks of it, she’d succeed.

  “What’s she doing?” Dmitri asked.

  The realization hit me like a wand to the sternum. “Monster is Tanner’s familiar. She was left behind. They’ve been separated for months.”

  Dmitri nodded and stared down at the table. “She wants to go to him.” His shoulders drooped. “My Maverick is at the sanctuary already. Bryant took her in yesterday.”

  My heart sank even further. I’d actually forgotten all about that specific tragedy.

  Dmitri, aside from being dead, was a witch. Which meant he’d had a familiar. And when he’d died, she’d been left behind.

  I scrambled for something to say to make him (and myself) feel better. “Zoe Clementine takes amazing care of the animals. I’m sure Maverick is as comfortable as she can be.”

  He shook his head, wispy tracers resulting from the movement. “That doesn’t sound like Mav. She’s a terror. I mostly feel sorry for Zoe.”

  Oh. “I can go check on her tomorrow, if you’d like.”

  He lifted his chin. “No need. I’ve already dropped in a few times. She’s doing okay. She knew this day was coming, just like I did. She’d promised me she’d give hell to whoever got her next, and that’s all I can hope for.”

  Sheesh, poor Zoe.

  Ruby said, “Someone really ought to keep that cat from tunneling out.” She looked squarely at me.

  “Pssh! No way. Have you seen the claws on her? I have a feeling she’s been waiting her whole life for an opportunity to kill a large animal, and I’m not about to sacrifice myself for that cause.” I turned to Grim. “You owe me for that bath. Handle your friend.”

  To my surprise, he didn’t argue, but instead stomped across the room and snatched her up in his jaws by her scruff. She hissed and tried to take a swipe at him, but her little munchkin cat legs couldn’t reach at that angle, and she gave up before long. Her body dangled limply from his jaw, exposing her little pink potbelly.

  “I think it’s time for bed,” Grim said before marching them both upstairs.

  Once they were out of sight, Dmitri said, “Have you told Donovan yet?”

  Ruby arched an eyebrow like this soap opera was just getting good.

  “No. I haven’t had a chance. But I don’t think I’m going to tell him about it.”

  “You’re not?” he said.

  “Why would I? It’ll just make him insecure.”

  “Or,” he said, “maybe he’d want to know that he could go find his best friend and previous girlfriend.”

  Even worse.

  “I doubt that would be his first thought,” I replied. “He’s not a hero like Tanner, and I don’t say that to disparage him. Tanner’s heroics started this whole mess.”

  “Heroics usually do,” Ruby said before sipping her tea.

  “Either way,” he added, “is it really up to you to keep that from him? Shouldn’t you tell him the truth and let him do with it what he will? He has to make the best choices for himself.”

  I knew he was right. But I also knew telling Donovan that there was a doorway that could lead me back to Tanner wouldn’t work out well for anyone. I already wished I could forget it.

  Especially because I had no plans of going through. My portal hopping had already caused enough trouble in Eastwind. I didn’t need to keep messing with the balance.

  And it didn’t help that the last time I’d found myself in this sort of situation was when I’d come clean with Tanner about what had gone on with me and Donovan. He’d broken up with me not long after that. Sure, we’d gotten back together, so one might say things turned out in the end… depending on where you marked the end. If you pushed that marker a little farther out, past the point where Tanner jumped through after Eva, then things didn’t turn out so great between us.

  “You’re right,” I finally said. “But I’m calling it right now: it’s going to ruin everything. So now it’s just a matter of deciding when I’m ready to devastate my relationship with Donovan in the name of truth.” I sighed and shook my head. “Fangs and claws, I hate honesty.”

  “If it’s any comfort,” Ruby said, “most people do. Lying is usually a much pleasanter experience on the whole.”

  The only sound that could be heard now were Clifford’s soft snores.

  It was only then that I remembered I had other important business to attend to. Business that wasn’t all about me.

  I turned to face Dmitri. “I saw your body today.”

  If that upset him, his expression didn’t show it. “I hope they respected my modesty. But if they didn’t, you’re welcome.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Don’t be a creep.”

  “You’re the one staring at my dead body.”

  “Okay, fair enough.” I ran over the pertinent facts in my head, but my brain was running slow. Finally, I said, “I wanted to ask you about that tattoo on your chest.”

  “Ah yes.” His translucent form was growing more difficult to see, even while the parlor stayed dim. He would need to disappear for a while soon to recharge his energy. “That was one of those less intelligent decisions from my youth.”

  “Did O’Leary have anything to do with it?”

  “No. He didn’t know about it, as far as I’m aware. We were close, but we didn’t undress in front of each other.”

  “What about swimming? Maybe you took your shirt off and he was there?”

  But he pouted his lips, then said, “No. The leisure activities we did with other friends. Any time we got together, we were up to fully clothed mischief. And once I reformed my ways, we usually had a pint and relived the glory days.”

  “So, what does it mean?”

  He shrugged, and the movement caused his shoulders to dissipate completely for a moment. “Oh, just a little token of love from my younger years.” He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eye
s. “Like I said, not one of my more intelligent decisions.”

  “Love for who?”

  “My childhood sweetheart. I was so sure that we were meant to be together. But if that was the case, it would have happened before I’d died, wouldn’t it?” He chuckled.

  “I suppose there’s a logic to that.” I paused. “Is this why you give me so much dating advice? You’re trying to help me because it didn’t work out for you?”

  “There’s a good chance that’s the case. But I stopped pining for her years ago. I do still think of her fondly from time to time, as all adults do of their first love, but any thoughts of a reunion are long lost.”

  Parts of him began to disappear in patches and reappear slowly.

  Was this all there was to it? What about the jolt I’d felt when I’d run my hand over it? “I just thought I recognized the symbol.”

  “It’s possible you did. It’s not an uncommon symbol for commemorating that sort of life event.”

  “What, love?”

  “No. Loss of love.”

  Before I could ask any more questions, he said, “We can speak more in the morning. I don’t have much left in me tonight.”

  Ruby and I bid him goodnight, and I waited until I was sure no more whisps of him might be lingering. Then I turned to her and said, “I’m sure the tattoo is important.”

  “How do you know?”

  “My Insight started kicking me in the rear end the moment I laid eyes on it.”

  Ruby nodded. “Right answer.”

  “But I can’t seem to get at what it’s trying to tell me. The connection is there, just out of reach.” I paused. “You mentioned that you sometimes meditate to access your Insight more directly.”

  “Yes, that’s one of the weapons in my Fifth Wind arsenal. Are you interested in learning?”

  “If it helps me figure this out.”

  Ruby set down her mug and looked at me squarely. “Are you telling me that you don’t trust Dmitri and that you think there’s something more going on here?”

  “Don’t get me wrong, I like him. But even good people can do stupid things. So, no, I don’t trust him to tell me everything.”

  “Well, thank the goddess for that! I haven’t just been talking to the wall for the last year and a half.” She stood from her chair. “Come. You’ll need to get more comfortable if you’re to have any chance of learning this.” She led me over to her reading chair and gestured for me to sit.

  I gaped at her. I hadn’t had the courage to sit in that chair even once since coming to stay with her. It seemed so obvious that it was for her and her alone that I’d considered it Ruby’s Chair from day one.

  She motioned for me to sit again, this time more adamantly. “Come now, it’s not cursed.” Then, as a mere footnote, “…Anymore.”

  I did as she said and found it more comfortable than I would have guessed. The permanent groove from her backside was impossible to miss, and too large for mine to fill, but it made the experience nice and ergonomic, I suppose.

  She placed her soft blanket over my legs, and I immediately understood the appeal of it. For a ridiculous moment, I could see myself in this exact spot thirty years from now. Ruby might be gone by then, and I’d have taken over her post. Maybe I would have a young and reckless Fifth Wind living with me to train as well. And no man in my life—not Tanner or Donovan or anyone.

  The image was surprisingly pleasant.

  “Now listen up,” Ruby said. “This is not an easy skill, but it is an important one, and for someone of your impatience, I imagine it won’t come naturally.”

  I took the jabs with as much grace as I could (it helped being so cozy) and then the real training began.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The following morning was spent managing Medium Rare’s unusually vibrant Thursday breakfast crowd and searching for spare moments to practice the meditation techniques Ruby had done her best to teach me the night before.

  She’d been right, though, I was probably a lost cause. Relaxation was just never my thing, and apparently that was a big part of opening one’s mind. Go figure.

  Needless to say, I did not tap into my Insight and unlock the mystery of Dmitri’s tattoo. But the more I considered the thing in the light of day, the more I began to believe that it was either a symbol I’d seen randomly somewhere else before or it looked so much like a basic Celtic knot that my mind was playing tricks on me.

  It also didn’t help my concentration that, in every spare moment I had between taking and delivering orders, Grim and Dmitri talked my ear off about their trip to the Deadwoods the day before.

  Mostly, the two of them got me when I went behind the counter to make a fresh pot of coffee.

  “I saw it, Nora!” Dmitri proclaimed on one such errand. “I can’t even believe it, but I saw a hidebehind!”

  Trying not to move my lips too much, I said, “I thought the whole deal was that you never saw them because they always hide behind something when you look.”

  “Well, sure, but I guess they can’t sense spirits.”

  That wasn’t entirely impossible, but I was still skeptical. This had tall tale written all over it. “And what’d it look like?”

  He brought his ghostly hand to his chin to recall. “Long, slender, furry…”

  “You sure it wasn’t an otter?”

  His lips pressed into a thin line and he squinted at me. “You don’t believe me. But I swear it on my life.”

  “I hope you’ll excuse me if I don’t take that to mean much.”

  “Oh. Right.” He shook his head to clear it. “All these figures of speech stop making sense once you’re dead. But I will say this: I’ve never felt so alive.”

  I chuckled. “Probably helps that you weren’t in any real danger out there.”

  He shrugged in noncommittal agreement just as Grim spoke up from his designated spot beneath the countertop. “Not even a little bit true. He almost got attacked by a soul swallow like three times and didn’t even know it.”

  “What’s a soul swallow?”

  Grim raised his heavy head, his ears perking up in excitement. “Exactly what it sounds like! A creature that swallows souls.”

  I rinsed out the empty coffee pot and stuck it back in the cradle. “That sounds disastrous.”

  “It would have been if he hadn’t been with me. I saved him.”

  I flicked on one of the coffeemakers and dumped the old grinds from the second. “Oh yeah? And how’d you manage that?”

  “Knowledge, Nora. I happened to know the one thing that repels soul swallows.”

  “And that is?”

  “Hellhound urine.”

  “Grim, that repels everything.”

  The stories continued like that, each slightly less credible than the last, and while I did find them entertaining, they kept me from getting a moment of peace until well into the afternoon.

  Jane came in for her shift just as I was wrapping up my accounting from the day’s sales so far. She was half an hour early as she knocked lightly on the manager’s office door and then let herself in.

  The sound startled me out of my mental fog of numbers. “Oh hey, coming for a bite?”

  “Yep. You want me to put in an order for you with Anton while I’m at it?”

  Typically, my answer would be “Hellhound, yes,” and “my usual,” which was a Sunrise Burger with the egg on top cooked over easy, some melted queso for sliced cheese, and a side of truffle fries. Were it not for the fact that I was always active on my feet for 8-10 hours before each of these indulgent meals, there wouldn’t have been a chance I would still fit into any of the clothes I’d bought when I first came to town.

  “Not today,” I said. “Got plans.”

  “Date night?”

  “Yep.” I finished filling in the total at the bottom of the sheet, and then stood and grabbed my bag from the back of the chair. “Mind if I take off early?”

  “Not if you don’t mind me eating my food in peace and let
ting the kids handle the front of house for a while.”

  “Deal.”

  “Where’s he taking you? Somewhere fancy?”

  I grimaced. I already knew what she’d say, but I told her anyway. “Franco’s Pizza.”

  She groaned and leaned a shoulder against the door frame, crossing her arms over her chest. “He’s taking you to his work?”

  “He said he doesn’t mind being there.”

  “Right, but it’s not exactly romantic to take your girlfriend to your place of employment. Can’t he at least take you to Stews and Brews?”

  “Nooo,” I said, “because that’s where Tanner and I used to go.”

  She threw her arms into the air in exasperation. “You two used to go everywhere!” She lowered her voice and frowned at me. “Nora, I’m not going to tell you how to mourn, but it’s in your best interest to create new memories over the old. After Bruce died… well, I had a lot of mixed feelings, as you know. And my impulse was the same as yours. But if I’d followed through with it, I wouldn’t have been able to come back here to work, and Ansel and I would also only be able to go out to eat at Franco’s Pizza.”

  “They have great lasagna,” I protested lamely.

  “Right. But hell is eating your favorite food over and over again until it makes you want to scream.”

  I didn’t know much about hell, so I didn’t argue.

  Jane stepped forward and placed a gentle hand on my arm. “Tanner’s gone, Nora. No one misses him quite like you do, but we all still miss him. I’ve known him a long time, and I love him. But people leave us. And even though you might be able to talk to some of them for a little while after that, everyone eventually goes and doesn’t come back. Losing people is just part of life.”

  “You don’t understand,” I said.

  “I do. You’re saving space for him. People do it all the time. Maybe someone doesn’t sit in the chair at the dinner table where their loved one always used to sit, or maybe a husband sleeps on the same side of the bed as always, even though he now has plenty of room in the middle. But as long as you hold space like that, you’re not making room for other things.”