by Kira Adams
“What happened to you?” he asks, eyeing the fresh holes in the knees of my jeans.
“The A-Team…what else?” When I was a freshman and the bullying got physical, Mack and I came up with our own nickname for the popular jocks who make our lives a living hell; it made it easier to talk about them in a stealth way.
Mack is still eyeing my ripped clothing with a pained expression. “Did it hurt?”
“A little,” I reply honestly, opening my locker and shoving my books in.
“Ciera, you’re bleeding.” He points to my right knee. I look down and, sure enough, dark red blood is seeping into my jeans and trailing down my leg.
“Shit,” I mutter.
“You should go see the nurse. Get that patched up.”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” he offers, knowing full well it will make us both late to our first period class.
I shake my head. “No, there’s no reason for us both to be late. Can you just tell Mrs. Joyner I’ll be there soon?”
He nods. “Only one hundred and fifty-five more days.”
I sigh. It feels like an eternity until we will finally be free of this prison. While I rather enjoy school and my classes in general, I hate every other detail about this dreaded place. There’s only so much a person can take, and I’ve been teetering on a breaking point for far too long.
As I enter the nurse’s station, Ms. Gregory eyes me sympathetically. “Ciera.”
Unfortunately, I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know our school nurse more than anyone in this school. Apart from the bullying, I’m also accident-prone, and I end up here at least a few times a week. It’s embarrassing to say the least, but Ms. Gregory has a gentle way about her that always puts me at ease.
“What is it this time?” she asks as she motions for me to take a seat.
“I fell and hurt my knee.”
Her eyes fall to my right knee, where the ripped section is. She takes a few steps toward me and squats to take a better look, pulling back the dark fabric. “Oh yeah, that does look pretty bad. Can you roll up your pant leg for me and I’ll be right back?”
I do as she asks and wince as the fabric touches my skinned knee. I’ve been waiting for a couple of minutes for her to bring back some Neosporin and bandages when I hear footsteps heading into her office. I keep my eyes trained to the ground, unsure of who is joining me in the room.
“Shit, that looks nasty,” a familiar voice states from the doorway.
My body tenses up as I realize it’s Topher. Maybe they haven’t had enough fun yet today?
“You know, your video has already gotten over a thousand views…you’re a star!” he jokes condescendingly.
My jaw tenses and I grind my teeth together. I have no idea what he’s doing here, but I wish he would just leave me alone.
Ms. Gregory returns, and I’ve never been more happy or thankful in my life to see her familiar white Keds making their way back into her office. “Topher Carlson, what can I do for you today?”
“I’m just here for my Vicodin,” Topher replies. A few months ago he was in a pretty bad skiing accident that really messed up his back, and his doctors have had him on Vicodin ever since. I’m pretty sure he’s all healed by now and has been selling his pills because I’ve caught a few shady transactions happening the past couple of weeks. I’m curious about how he’s been managing to fool Ms. Gregory as he is required to take the medication in her presence.
“Well, take a seat. I’ll be right with you.” Ms. Gregory turns her attention back to me and my injured knee.
I’ve mastered the art of knowing when eyes are on me without even having to see it. I know the feeling all too well. I can feel Topher’s blue-green gaze boring into my skull.
“I saw the video,” Ms. Gregory says softly. “Kids can be vicious.”
I nod slightly, my cheeks burning. I love Ms. Gregory’s concern, but not when Topher Carlson is witness to it. I feel extremely uncomfortable. “It’s okay,” I reply out of habit.
She looks up into my eyes from her crouched position. “No, it’s not, Ciera. You know, you could tell me who did this to you…we could speak to the principal about them.”
My eyes tear away from hers and again to the floor. I can feel Topher’s glare burning me. “No, it’s okay…I’m not a tattletale.”
She sighs loudly as she finishes securing the bandage over my skinned knee. “Why do you always protect them?”
My stomach is in complete and utter knots. “I don’t,” I say, so quietly she has to strain to hear me.
“Well, the offer is on the table, and there is not an expiration date. Okay?” She stands, disposing of the excess trash from my bandage.
I nod lightly, keeping my eyes low and averted from Topher’s chilling gaze.
God, I hope this doesn’t land me in even more trouble…
“Do you want hang out on Friday?” I ask Sophia as we eat lunch. My mother doesn’t have enough money for school lunches, so I have to pack my own. Lately we’ve only had apples and the occasional sandwich essentials. Sometimes we don’t have any condiments and I have to eat the sandwich plain. I really don’t like the way the meat tastes without some sort of buffer.
Sophia dips her French fry into her ketchup then pops it in her mouth. “I can’t,” she says simply.
“You can’t?” I ask, confused.
“Yeah, I already made plans with Alyssa.”
My stomach drops as she says the name of the girl who has been bullying me for the past few months. “Alyssa Justice?” I nearly cry out. “Why are you hanging out with Alyssa? You know what she’s done to me!”
Sophia’s face falls and she looks genuinely upset. “Ciera, it’s nothing personal, but don’t you ever wonder what it would be like to be popular?”
My jaw drops open in disgust. “Not if it means walking all over the people who have been there for me since the beginning. How could you?” I ask angrily. “Don’t you care at all about how they treat me?” I cry out, my chest heaving.
She smiles timidly. “Ciera, nothing is going to change. You and I are still going to be friends. It’s okay to have different friends.”
I nod angrily. “It’s not cool to be friends with people who treat your friends like crap.”
She giggles. “You’re ridiculous. Not everyone is supposed to get along.” She nudges me in the shoulder.
I’ve lost my appetite. I jump up and step over the bench. “Where are you going?” she asks.
“I forgot I have a history report I have to get done. I’ll catch up with you later,” I call out.
“Ciera,” she says, accentuating my name.
I don’t bother turning around. These people have tricked me into making a fool of myself too many times, and now my best friend wants to hang out with them. None of this makes any sense. I’m losing my best friend, and it’s happening right in front of my eyes. I wish I could find the rewind button.
3
It’s been three days since I found out about my father’s…lifestyle. He’s been trying to speak with me ever since, but I just can’t. I need some time first to process what the hell this means for me and how it will change my life. I sound like a selfish prick, but I can’t help it. I’ve been staying at Joe’s. His parents don’t care what the fuck he does so it’s been nice to simply be able to come and go as I please.
“So, are you going to tell me what happened?” Joe asks as I drive us both to school in the morning.
“What are you talking about?” I ask defensively.
“Look, I don’t mind you staying the night, bro, but we haven’t had sleepovers like this since we were in middle school. I know something is up,” he replies, staring me down with his dark brown eyes.
I sigh loudly. “It’s nothing, really. My dad and I just had an argument. We both needed a little space.”
I park the car in the lot and grab my backpack from behind my seat as we hop out.
“Well,
stay as long as you want…” Joe trails off.
“I’m going home tonight, don’t worry.” Even with his previous statement, I know he can’t wait to get me out of his hair, probably because he wants a chance to fuck my girlfriend.
I hear him sigh slightly, and I know I’m right.
As we enter the halls of our school, I glance at all our peers, so happy and joyous, seemingly without a care in the world. When did things get so fucked up?
As we near our lockers, I notice Sophia leaning against mine. Or is it Joe’s? I’m not really sure anymore. I watch as she shares a secretive silent stare with my best friend before flicking her eyes to meet mine and letting a smile break out on her lips.
She really is easy on the eyes. The problem is how aware of that fact she is. She knows every guy in school wants a piece of her. It makes her feel powerful. Her long light brown locks cascade down her back, meeting her waistline. Her green eyes are round and full, her lips plump and red, and today she’s wearing what appears to be some sort of corset with a mini-skirt. I’m surprised the school even allows it.
“Hey babe, how was your weekend?” She pecks me on the lips then watches intently as I open up my locker.
I shrug. “It was fine. Played a lot of video games and hung out with Joe.”
Her eyes slide to him. “That explains a lot.”
“What?” I ask.
“Oh, nothing.” She shakes her head dismissively.
I know they’re having some kind of silent conversation, but I don’t give two flying fucks about it. I close my locker and lean against it as we kill some time before first period.
“Dude!” Joe punches me in the shoulder. “I forgot to tell you!” He excitedly pulls his phone out and waves it in front of my face.
“What?” I ask, utterly bored. My eyes focus is on the screen, and I realize it’s a YouTube video.
“She’s gone platinum!” he exclaims animatedly.
He’s right. Our video from the other day has over 25,000 views, and it’s only been up for a couple of days.
“Nice,” I respond, handing him the phone back.
Then I notice our subject from the video walking toward the lockers on the other side of the hall. I’ve never really paid much attention to her before. We’ve gone to the same school basically our entire lives, but fuck me if I even know her name.
“Oh shit!” Joe exclaims. “It’s the star!” He runs up to her, flashing his phone in her face. “You’re famous!”
I watch as she doesn’t even bother to look up from the ground, keeping her head and eyes low and trained away from his. She doesn’t even say a word as she silently opens her locker.
I take in her clothes. She looks like the poster child for the 90s. All of her clothes are so outdated and old I can only guess she shops at Goodwill or wears hand-me-downs, not to mention they don’t even seem to fit her right—loose in all the wrong places and tight in others. I can’t help but chuckle at her overall appearance.
“Topher, did you hear what I said?” Sophia’s obnoxious voice breaks into my thoughts.
“What?” I ask, switching my glance to meet hers.
“I said, when are you going to ask me to the winter formal? It better be something beautiful. I heard Jackson asked Olivia last year by…”
I can’t listen anymore. I tune her out and simply focus on the parting of her lips. She would be a hell of a lot prettier if she came with a mute button.
I turn my head back to the exchange happening between Joe and the star of his video. Her straight blond hair covers her face as she continues to stay mute.
“What? Cat got your tongue?” Joe continues to press.
“Joe,” I call out, glancing at the clock on the wall. “Let’s go.”
He shoots her a quick smile. “Until next time, Cinderella.”
As we all make our way toward our first period class, I quickly glance at Joe. “Why do you even bother with her, man?”
“Who? Ciera Nelson? Have you not looked at her? She is screaming for attention. I bet our exchanges are the best thing to ever happen in her mundane life. I bet she dreams of it. I’m just giving her what she secretly wants…”
I roll my eyes as we enter our advanced English class. I don’t even know how we made it in this class. I’m still convinced it’s some kind of fluke. Joe can barely speak English, let alone write it, and Sophia is dumb as a doornail. Me, on the other hand? If I actually put in the effort, I’m sure I could scrape by…but I don’t see the point. We’re all averaging Ds right now and sufficiently happy with it. As long as we don’t flunk out, we can continue with our after-school activities like football and cheerleading. I’ve been on the football team since freshman year. It is honestly the one thing I love wholeheartedly in my life. There is nothing like being able to tackle people, especially when I have frustrations I need to work out.
We take our seats, and moments before the bell rings, I notice Ciera, the homely-looking girl Joe loves to mess with, slip in virtually unnoticed. Everyone in the class is preoccupied with side conversations as I see her take her seat right at the front. I had no clue I even had any classes with her. Shows how much I actually pay attention. Another nerdy-looking male with brown hair and glasses takes a seat right beside her. I recognize him—Mack Turner. We used to be neighbors growing up…I remember spending quite a lot of time with him in middle school playing video games. As time went on, we grew apart…naturally. We didn’t hang out with the same crowd, we didn’t live next door anymore, and eventually, we stopped acknowledging one another at all.
I watch as the two engage in a conversation, and she actually lifts her head and looks him in the eyes. This intrigues me. What are you guys talking about? What do people like them even strive for in life?
“Good morning class!” Mrs. Joyner walks in, setting her belongings on her desk. “How was your weekend?” She gives everyone a chance to continue conversing loudly before she eventually quiets us and jumps into her lesson plan for the day. “Did you guys finish your essays?”
We had homework? I didn’t even open my backpack over the weekend. Guess my mind was just too preoccupied with everything going on at home. I hope she doesn’t call on me.
I look over at Joe. “Did you do the homework?”
He shakes his head. “No way, man. I was hanging out with you all weekend.”
I chuckle and shift my eyes to Sophia. “How about you?”
She smiles, slipping a freshly typed paper onto my desk. “I had some extra time this weekend.”
Hmm…I wonder why.
For the first time in my life, I’m not dreading my long day ahead. I’m actually welcoming it if it means a distraction. I know I can’t avoid my father forever and will eventually have to talk to him about everything…but I am going to milk this time as best as possible until then.
“Tell me something I don’t know about you,” I say, leaning in.
It’s eighty-five degrees outside and we are having a pool party at my house. There are at least twenty-five eighth graders hanging out in the summer heat.
Sophia bats her eyelashes, making my stomach flutter. “One time, my best friend and I hijacked a cop car.”
My jaw drops. “No way.”
She grins widely before breaking out in a round of laughter.
“So that wasn’t true?” I ask, disappointed.
“No.” She shakes her head, still smiling. “But we did sneak into a second movie one time when we had only paid for the first.”
I raise my eyebrows. “You’re a rebel.”
She blushes. “It was her idea!”
An image of her homely-looking friend flashes in my mind. No way.
“Where is your best friend now?” I ask, curious.
Her eyes widen. “I thought she wasn’t invited.”
I chuckle nervously. “Yeah, I’m not sure she’d fit in here, with us.”
Sophia backs herself up and then begins to stand. “I’m not sure I can do this.”
I hop to my feet then grab her hands in mine, giving them a reassuring squeeze. “You don’t have to do anything. Let Joe and Alyssa take care of it.”
She seems to be deep in thought. “No, if I’m going to do this, I’m going to go all out.”
“There’s the attitude.” I squeeze her shoulders.
She looks up into my eyes, and I find myself drifting away, lost in them. “You want to be my girlfriend?” I ask nonchalantly.
Sophia’s eyes widen, a smile pulling at her lips. She nods eagerly.
I pull her into me slowly and gently press my lips to hers. People are narrating from all around, making noises and sounds, cheering us on. We break off the kiss, and our entire group of friends is clapping and cheering.
This is kind of cool.
4
Apart from the morning and a bathroom mishap I found myself in, it’s actually been a surprisingly easy day—not something I’m very accustomed to. I can hear the loud banter from inside our apartment before I even get too close. It sounds like Rose and Wesley are arguing excitedly over something.
I enter the apartment, and my eyes lock onto the living room. Sure enough, my sister and brother are wrestling over our small handheld radio. “It’s my turn!” Wesley yelps. “You’ve already had your turn!”
Rose snatches the radio out of his hands and goes running over the back of our aging couch and into the small kitchen.
“Ciera! Make her give it back!” Wesley shouts at me.
I sigh as I drop my backpack loudly on the ground.
“Rose,” I call out as I walk slowly into the kitchen. “Wes said you already had your turn. You want to give it back to him?”
She grips the radio like her life depends on it. “No! I hate his music.”
I can’t help the smile that plays upon my lips. I hear shuffling in the bedroom then remember I need to be regulating. “Guys,” I say, softly yet sternly. “You know Mom is sleeping. She has to work tonight. You guys need to keep it down. If you can’t agree on a station to listen to, I’d be more than happy to take it away from both of you.”
