Learning to Live: An Enemy to Lovers Ugly Cry (The Infinite Love Series, Book 1)
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“Oh, is this your boyfriend?” the Hawaiian asks sarcastically.
The girl shifts her eyes to me and then narrows them. “I don’t even know who he is.” She swings her body toward me. “You might want to get out of here—it’s about to get ugly.”
Before I can register a clear thought, a clenched fist is coming straight for my face. I don’t have time to duck, and it collides with my cheek roughly. I stumble backward, my eyes shooting around, attempting to locate the girl. She is scooping the money up from the pool table, and after she finishes, she takes off in a run.
Two of the thugs take off chasing after her, and I am simply left with the giant. He comes barreling toward me with his head bowed and plows into me. I gasp from the impact, falling backward. He pulls his arm back, ready to hit me, but this I’m able to dodge. His fist hits the wall behind my head and I hear bones popping. He bellows out in pain, pulling his hand into his chest.
I stumble up and make a run for the door, looking back only when necessary. As I dash out into the street, I glance around, looking for the girl.
The two goons are lying face first on the pavement, writhing in pain. There is only one other person in the entire parking lot; it’s the girl from earlier, perched on a Harley-Davidson.
Did you do this to them?
I’m getting hard just thinking about how different she is than any other girl I’ve ever met.
“Hey!” I shout out as I lunge toward her.
“You really shouldn’t have done that,” she says calmly, securing a black helmet over her shiny, straight hair.
“Look, I’m sorry, but I don’t condone physically attacking a woman. I may be in the minority here,” I joke with a smirk.
She looks back at me, stone-faced. “I don’t know who you think I am, but I ain’t no prissy bitch. I can fight my own battles.”
“Who are you?” I ask curiously, unable to stop myself.
She shoots me a quick grin. “In your wildest dreams, white boy.” She revs the engine of the bike and takes off with a jolt.
Seriously though…who is this girl?
As I enter my frat house, the music is booming so loud it can be heard blocks away. There are people scattered all over the place, drinking, dancing, talking, and doing drugs. None of it really fazes me anymore. This has become my normal.
“Topher!” I hear a high-pitched voice call out to me. I spin around, coming face to face with an athletic blond. “Thank God you showed up! The party has arrived!” Molly Jenner slurs. She is swaying back and forth, and her green eyes are bloodshot. She slings her arm around my neck. “Can I get you anything to drink?”
I nod. “Yeah, actually. Do you mind grabbing me a beer?”
Her eyes light up as she smiles and nods enthusiastically. “Don’t go anywhere, Topher Carlson!”
I smirk with a head nod. The minute she is out of eyesight, I make a mad dash for the stairs. Colin is sauntering down the hallway, gripping a beer in his hand.
“Hey, man!” he greets me as I round the last stair. “Where ya going?”
I shrug. “Long day. Got in a fight at Traction.”
His eyes widen as he digests my words. “No way, dude. What the hell?”
“It’s a long story. Can I catch up with you tomorrow?” I ask. “My body is sore, and I just want to chill.”
Colin nods, his shaggy blond hair bobbing up and down. “No problem. Did Molly find you?”
“Yeah,” I reply, turning around to head toward my room.
“Dude, if you don’t do something about that hot piece of ass, I will,” Colin calls out behind me.
“Do whatever you want, man. I don’t care,” I say, opening my door and entering my room.
I kick off my shoes and remove my jacket, wincing from the soreness. I glance at my face in the mirror. I look banged up, but not terrible. Sighing, I tear my shirt off and open my dresser drawer, pulling out a pair of blue sweats. Once I’m changed and comfortable, I fall backward onto my bed, staring at the ceiling.
I close my eyes, and her familiar sapphire blues and blond hair come into focus. “I missed you today,” I murmur, breathing deeply. “I got in a fight at a bar, and all I could think about was how much fun we would have had if you were there. We would have been laughing all the way back to the car.” I roll over to my side, squeezing my eyes tighter. “I met a crazy girl today,” I whisper. “She was fearless, and tough, and unlike anyone I’ve ever met. I don’t think she liked me very much.”
A single tear rolls down my cheek.
“I didn’t think it was possible, but every day that you’re gone, I miss you a little more. I thought you said this would get easier…” I roll over one more time, onto my back, snapping my eyes open. Sighing, I run my hand through my hair. “I love you, Ciera Grace.”
Closing my eyes, my mind shuts off, and I drift off into a peaceful slumber.
“Wake up!” I hear the loud command pierce my ears. My eyes snap open, and I am glaring at my fraternity brother Grant Tomlinson as he holds a bullhorn a few inches from my face.
“Really?” I ask, annoyed.
“Scouts are here today! Coach says you have to be on your A game. He wants you to be pulling extra practices every morning.” Grant has been Coach’s faithful lap dog since he joined the team, but I don’t mind it too much.
I groan as I roll out of bed, my feet hitting the carpet.
“Good luck,” Grant shouts through the bullhorn before exiting my room. I glare at him as he walks away, shaking my head from the piercing sound left in my ears. We are playing UNLV today. They are a pretty fierce competitor, having only lost two games the entire season.
I glance at the clock by my bedside: 6:00 a.m. Today is going to be rough.
After an intense practice, I grab a quick shower and head to my earth science class. As I walk in, something catches my attention; there, in the back corner of the classroom, sits the mysterious girl from Traction. At first, I wonder if my eyes are deceiving me because she’s never been in this class before. Then I see the pink paper lying on the table in front of her. She must have just transferred in.
She catches me staring, her eyes widening with recognition, and then she goes back to ignoring me, acting as if I don’t exist. I sneak glances at her during the next hour and a half. Her long, straight hair is pulled up into a high ponytail, and she is wearing a black tank top with a white peace symbol on it and ripped blue jeans.
I approach the girl at the end of the class, and she looks less than thrilled to see me. “You just can’t stay away can you?” she hisses, but there is a hint of playfulness behind it.
I shrug. “Just tell me your name.”
She looks up, hoisting her backpack onto her shoulder. “And then what? You’re going to ‘get to know me’?” She uses air quotes to get her point across. “Look, I’m not the girl for you. I’ll never wear a dress, I’ll cuss, I’ll burp, and I’ll retain my independence. You would never be able to handle me.” She seems to have me all figured out.
I cross my arms across my chest, amused. “You sure seem to have put a lot of thought into this.”
I swear I see a blush spreading across her cheeks, but it’s gone as quickly as I catch it.
“Destiny,” she says, brushing past me.
“Excuse me?” I ask, spinning around.
“My name—it’s Destiny.” She glances back at me before flipping her head back around.
I watch as she exits the large room, leaving me behind. I don’t know what it is about that damn girl, but she is intriguing the hell out of me.
“I’m going to tell you something you won’t like,” Ciera warns me. “I need you to listen to me before objecting, got it?”
I open my mouth to say something, but she raises her eyebrows at me. I close my mouth, fighting back a grin. “Yes, ma’am.”
She sits up on the bed, scooting her back up against the headboard. “You need to be nicer to Mack.”
My mouth drops open and I’m ready to a
rgue when she gives me another serious look. “What?” I whine.
“I’ve seen you two together,” she points out. “I know it’s like pulling teeth to have you two in the same room together, but after I’m gone…”
I rapidly press my finger against her lips, silencing her.
Her face softens. “Topher, we have to talk about this.”
I sigh. “Yeah, I know, but do we really have to talk about it right this second? Why are you trying to rush everything?” I hop off the bed and begin pacing across my bedroom floor.
“Topher,” she says.
I know I’m losing her in less than a month. I’m well aware of this, but it doesn’t mean I’m okay with it. It doesn’t mean it’s okay. I know refusing to talk about it will only make things worse in the long run, but I don’t want to think about my life without Ciera. She’s the first person to breathe life back into me…I don’t want to lose her.
I can see her in my peripheral, getting up from the bed and walking toward me. Shivers crawl down my back. I can sense her before she ever touches me. Her touch is soothing, and comfortable. She rubs her hand up and down my back.
“For the record, I don’t want to go any more than you want me to, but I can’t play pretend. The day is going to come whether we like it or not, and there’s not a damn thing we can do about it.”
“I don’t buy that for one second,” I growl, surprising even myself. “You’re taking the easy way out—you’re giving up. Stay, fight. It’s not going to be easy—in fact, I’m sure it’s going to feel like hell most days, but at least we’d be together.”
Ciera’s face grows more emotional. “If it were that simple, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.”
“What other choice do you have?” I press, unwilling to give up so easily.
She bites her lip, fighting back tears, and tucks her chin in. “You’re asking me to allow nature to take its course, which will quickly hurt like hell. You’re asking me to knowingly subject myself to the worst pain you could ever imagine just for another month or two with you. Don’t you think you’re being a bit unfair?” she asks sadly.
I shake my head. “I would walk through hell and back if it meant more time with you. I’d take all your pain onto myself if I could have another day, another week, another month with you.”
Ciera covers her mouth, tears spilling down her cheeks and over her hands. She is breathing deeply, and I can’t just stand here, not when I know I’m the one making her sad. I pull her into me, rubbing my hand in circles along her back, trying to calm her down.
“I’m sorry I’m asking so much of you. I just love you so fucking much. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you. I don’t even want to think about it.” I shake my head, releasing her.
Her eyes are glossy and full of sadness, hopelessness.
I run the back of my hand against her cheek, swiping a tear away with my thumb. “I’m sorry I made you cry. I know I’m being selfish and making this about me, but I had to know I at least tried.”
“Don’t you think I would do anything in the world to be able to be with you longer?” Ciera asks, her voice small.
I nod, tucking her short blond hair behind her ears. “Of course I do.” I press my lips to hers lightly and then lead her back to the bed. We sit down side by side, and I take her hands in mine. “I want you to be my wife,” I whisper, shocking even myself when the words leave my lips.
Ciera’s eyes widen and then begin dashing from one side of the room to the other. “Topher, don’t be silly.”
“I’m not. I’m serious. I want you to be my wife,” I repeat, completely sure in the words I speak.
Ciera exhales deeply. “Topher, there is nothing more in the world that I want…but I don’t want that for you.”
“What?” I exclaim, dumbfounded. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that marriage is forever, and I want you to experience that bond once and once alone with someone. I don’t want you to marry me, become a widower, and have to do it all over again later on down the road. I love you so much, but I know how much marriage means to me. I want you to be able to experience that with someone you can be with for many years.” Although her words sound convincing, her facial expression betrays her. I can read the doubt behind her eyes.
“I’m never going to love anyone as much as I love you,” I mutter.
She forces a smile upon her face. “You will. Trust me, you will. It will happen when you least expect it, and you’ll feel guilty at first. It’s okay to feel that, but don’t dwell on it. When you’re ready, you’ll move on.”
It upsets me that she talks about the future, accentuating the fact that she isn’t going to be around for it. I can’t even imagine what my insides will look like without Ciera—hollow, I’m sure. It’s going to take a hell of a person to be able to stack up.
“Hey,” she says softly, rubbing my arm. “You’re the love of my life. You’re always going to be the love of my life.”
I glance at her sadly. “You sure you can’t take me with you when you go?” I ask, semi-serious.
Ciera’s face hardens. “You know if I had a choice, I would never leave. Take advantage of the cards life deals you. I’ll never get the same opportunity.”
I nod. “Why do you always have to be the voice of reason?”
She laughs. “Because I’m the smarter one.”
Ciera keeps me in line. She tells me when I’m being an asshole, stops me from being self-centered or self-absorbed, and always helps me make the right decisions. What if I’m nothing without her?
Acknowledgments
Kristen, if you hadn’t given me the idea for a prequel to My Forever, this book would have never came to fruition. Thank you so much for that.
Melissa, thank you for being an awesome street team member, beta reader, reviewer, and overall friend. You gave me the confidence I needed to finish this book. You showed me that it was worth it.
I’ve always wanted to write an “ugly cry” novel. I just never knew if I had it in me. You guys showed me that I do. You showed me that I can do anything I put my mind to.
Thank you for always giving me the motivational pushes I need.
Remember that it is never too late to follow your dreams. I firmly believe that if you’re not doing something you love, you’re not really living, and I follow that mantra each and every day to the fullest.
Kira Adams
About the Author
Krista Pakseresht has always been a dreamer, from the first time she opened her eyes, and creating worlds through words is one thing she is truly talented at. She specializes in young adult/new adult romance, horror, action, fantasy, and non-fiction under the pen name Kira Adams. She is the author of the Infinite Love series, the Foundation series, the Darkness Falls series, A Date with the Devil, The Life I Never Asked For, Never Trust a Bad Boy and Ultimate Game Changer.
Want to stay up to date with all the new releases, cover reveals, never-before-seen excerpts, and more? Sign up for the Kira Adams newsletter here.
Books by Kira Adams
The Infinite Love Series
Learning to Live (Ciera & Topher)
Life After (Destiny & Topher)
My Forever (Madalynne & Parker)
Beautifully Broken (Jacqueline & Lee)
Against All Odds (Austyn & Avery)
The Foundation Series
Pieces of Me
The Fighter
The Road Back to Us
Darkness Falls Series
Into the Darkness
Emerging from Darkness
The Darkness Remains
Standalones
A Date with the Devil
Ultimate Game Changer
The Life I Never Asked For
Never Trust a Bad Boy
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