Little Doll: Queens of Chaos 1

by L. J. Findlay

  I nodded, unable to find the words. Relief swallowed me when Bastien pulled me away and I sank against him, gaze darting at everyone else who were staring at me like I was a wild animal. “Fine. I’m sorry, Xanthe. I honestly am just worried and wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  She smiled at me, her eyes watery. Fuck. I hadn’t meant to make her cry. I hesitantly made my way closer to her and put an arm around her, ignoring Blaise who was glaring at me. Encouraged when she didn’t shrug me off I ploughed on further. “If anything happens, just call us and we’ll be here in a heartbeat, okay?” I kissed the top of her head. “We love you.”

  Blaise glared at me. “Well, nothing will happen.”

  She smiled at me and held her glass in salute. “And cheers to the adventure continuing!”

  We all mimicked her and downed the drink, the alcohol doing nothing to abate the storm of worry but it was a losing battle. She had made her bed and she was going to have to lie in it. Even if I didn’t like it. Noelle was right. Our innocent night of fun had brought in the winds of change and we were powerless to stop it. I just hoped that Bastien and I survived whatever was coming.

  Xanthe

  I kissed my girls goodbye as they left the apartment, heading for the airport. The sickening feeling whenever I thought through my decision kept on eating at me; I should be heading home with my girls. I wasn’t even sure if Blaise really liked me but I needed to find out what the mystery was about. The need consumed me. Everything else was unimportant. At least that's what I told myself. Really, if I was being honest, my feelings for Blaise were what consumed me, and I needed to see if there was even a chance of him feeling the same after more time.

  I always knew that Noelle would be on my side… fuck, I was surprised she hadn’t demanded to stay with me. Instead she had airily said she was heading back to London, smiling at me with a knowing twinkle in her eye. She probably thought what I had with Blaise was more than it really was. All that witchy intuition and winds of change chat she was spouting the other eve. I loved her optimism.

  Gemma on the other hand…sweet Gem was against it. I had hugged her like it was all water under the bridge, sure, but I had an issue with her presumption. I knew that Noelle and I pushed her around a bit but we loved her. We supported each other, fixed each others’ crowns and all that. I knew this was a reckless attraction to be chasing but all I wanted was her support, even if she didn’t mean it.

  She couldn’t have been jealous. No, she had Bastien who worshipped the ground she walked on; we were definitely going to have to talk about this new, exciting development when I came back to London. And I was happy for her. The girl hadn’t had the best of luck with guys, much to mine and Noelle’s confusion. She was literally perfection on a plate. Maybe it was the universe taking into consideration her perfect life; the job that she was smashing, her social life, her family, the experiences she had, her unwavering popularity, her likeability, her good looks. That said, I knew insecurity flashed occasionally in her eyes but she had no fucking reason to be insecure. Her life was sorted. It just lacked male attention.

  She also had a radiant, interesting personality in her own quiet, sweet way. She had substance, unlike me. Yes, she was a pushover but that didn’t detract from her fascinating personality. I was exactly what Xander called me, what he crafted me into; a little doll. Subservient, compliant, meek. I don’t think I was really anything at all special. I was too scared to leave Mint Catering & Events because he had always said I was unlikely to find another job.

  I remembered the day us three all met, the feeling of being somewhat inadequate, out of my depth…

  * * *

  “Ah she’s here!” I screamed, brandishing my phone. Gemma whooped in answer, raising her glass.

  I rushed to the door, my heart beating frantically with nerves. Noelle was here. I’d met her in some introductory lecture and decided to invite her along for drinks as she had seemed really fun and I just knew that we were going to have a messy night.

  The nerves were bubbling low in my stomach as I usually didn’t take the lead in social situations. I usually found it was easier to leave that for Xan but it was smothering at times and I couldn’t deny that. He was busy tonight so I decided to have a night without him. I could become independent and step out of his shadow. Breathing in deeply and plastering a smile on my face, I opened the door to welcome Noelle.

  “Yes, girl!” Noelle cheered, wrapping an arm around me.

  I smiled, ushering her in. “Thanks for coming! One of my flatmates is here. Gem, she’s such a sweetheart. The others have gone out to some fresher’s drinks party, I think it might be for some society or something. So it’s just the three of us.”

  “Absolutely fine! I’ve brought some booze so we’re sorted,” she interrupted, squeezing me tighter.

  Squeezing her back, I led her into the common area where Gemma was sitting on the couch and nursing a glass of wine. I pushed down the tidal wave of nerves; maybe having a smothering Xan here would’ve been a good idea as he’s great in these situations. He had always taken control. He could charm them into being my friends and I wouldn’t have to do anything… No, fuck that!. This was uni and it’s time for me to make my own friends.

  “Hey, Gem! Look – here’s the girl I met today. Noelle, Gem.” I gestured between them and sat down on the sofa opposite Gemma with Noelle next to me.

  I handed Noelle a glass and she poured a generous measure of the wine she had brought and raised it in salute. “To a crazy night!” We whooped along with her, giddy on the idea of new friendships and new experiences.

  * * *

  The door clicked with an ominous sense of finality and I leant against it, gazing at Blaise. I felt weirdly exposed, naked under his burning gaze. We didn’t have the others between us now. It was just the two of us. The intensity of the weekend paled in comparison to what I felt now that it was just us.

  “So…” I began weakly, gazing at him.

  He just smiled at me, desire ramping up with every step closer he took to me. He caged me in against the wall, crowding my space. I closed my eyes, giving into his overwhelming presence. “Scared of me yet?” he murmured. “Your friend, Gemma, seemed pretty angry that you were staying with the big bad wolf.”

  “Don’t flatter yourself.”

  He bent his head, closed his teeth round my pulse which was thrumming like a caged bird, desperate to escape. He bit down hard enough to leave a mark before releasing me. “There's no denying that you're mine, just for a little bit longer.”

  I sighed, frustrated. I wanted to be one of those girls that was chill with leaving this as just a fun memory. A weekend of rinsing Xan…

  Shit.

  I fought through the heady desire that consumed me whenever I was near Blaise and pushed him slightly back. “My phone. Please.”

  I had left it uncharged because I didn’t want to deal with the endless questions and accusations but I was worried that my silence had possibly worsened things and I didn’t want to deal with that.

  Blaise just pushed me back against the wall, his other hand running up my leg, drawing closer to my core which was getting hotter and wetter the nearer he got. His intense gaze bored into mine as he murmured in my ear. “Sssh… don’t worry about that. Who’s going to message? Your ex? Xander?”

  “What, are you jealous?” I snapped back, fury sparking along my spine at the assumption that he would think I would be so weak to capitulate after a mere weekend.

  “No, I was going to say he’s a stalker who is still assuming he has some control over your life. I was going to say I assumed that you’re worried about your family? You’re worried about stuff that is supposedly out of control?” His navy eyes bored into mine and I shivered. “Well, fuck that, sweetheart. I’ve warned you about the life I live but I also promised you that you’d be mine for Paris. I will deal with any fall out from this weekend, I promise you that. I can’t promise I’ll stay with you but you have to know it’s because
there’s shit that’s out of my control and I want to fucking protect you!”

  “Protect me? Well what if I said I could look after myself?”

  “Well, listen to me on this. Let’s enjoy the time we have left and deal with stuff when we get back to London.” Broking no argument, he pushed his lips down on mine. I felt the soft plushness and melted into his touch, his taste was addictive and I instantly pushed aside my worries. He would look after me even though he wouldn’t stay with me and that was okay, I hoped. It’s like I kept on telling myself; I could be chill. I could leave Blaise to find some other girl and just look back on this weekend as a fond memory.

  I tilted my head back, granting him more access and pulled away to smile at him. “Okay, I trust you.”

  Desperate longing flickered deep in his gaze as a pained smile curved his lips. “You really shouldn’t.” He ghosted a kiss over my lips. “It’s like making a deal with the devil.”

  “What if I want to make a deal with the devil?”

  “Well, just remember that you were the one who asked for it…” He cut off any query I might have had for that curious statement with a fierce kiss, his tongue forcing access, dancing with mine, making me moan wantonly.

  I leant into his touch, demanding more. To get lost in heady euphoria together. To unite, even if it was for only twenty-four hours. I lifted my leg, wrapping it around his muscular thigh, feeling his erection press hard against my centre. I moaned, the touch ramping up my desire to impossibly giddy heights. His hand ran up the side of my thigh before stroking along my centre. I rubbed against him, protesting at the barriers between us and he chuckled.

  “It’s okay, darling. I’ll look after you.” He undid the button of my jeans, pulling the fabric down to grant him access to my core, stroking my folds. “I’ll be the only one to look after you.”

  “Yes, you,” I moaned out greedily. Tilting my hips up to him, forcing his finger closer to my entrance, inciting more shivers of anticipation to dance along my nerves. Tilting my head into the crook of his neck, I begged. “Please, Blaise, I need you.”

  Not deigning to respond, he bit down on my neck whilst trapping both my hands above my head. This forced my body to arch out to him exactly as he wanted me as he continued to tease along my folds. I could feel my impending orgasm blurring the edges of my vision but Blaise kept me from falling over the euphoric cliff edge, winding me up into a bomb of nerves and keeping me ready to explode.

  “Please… Blaise…”

  He laughed darkly. “What do you want? I can only give it to you if you ask me…”

  I ground my teeth in frustration, my legs shaking with need. “I want you to fuck me, Blaise. I want your cock in my pussy. NOW.”

  “So, so demanding…” he cooed, sucking my neck whilst torturously slowly inching a finger deeper into me. “What’s the magic word?” My denied pleasure was making my vision blur at the edges and I moaned, pressing harder into his finger, trying in vain to force him deeper, to grant me the release I was so desperately seeking. “Xanthe…” he murmured, nipping my ear.

  “Please, please, Blaise. Just fuck me. Please…” I begged, shaking under his touch.

  In a flash he spun me round, forcing my palms flat against the door and using his hand to push my jeans down, his knee forcing my legs wide. He withdrew for a second, leaving me exposed and I moaned at the loss of touch which only drew a chuckle from him. Fucking sadist.

  I could only think coherently for a second before he plunged into me with one sudden movement, the unexpected intrusion stealing my breath. My vision darkened at the rush of pleasure and I cried out, bucking against him, making him go deeper. His hands gripped my hips with such force I knew it would bruise. The knowledge caused more frissons of pleasure to rip through my spine, as he thrust in and out mercilessly, continuously hitting the spot that made me gasp out in ecstasy. Before I knew it, I was free-falling, crying out my release, my pussy seizing around Blaise’s cock.

  He continued to pump in and out of me, while I leant against the door, boneless and breathless, before following me over the cliff-edge, filling me up with his hot release before collapsing against me, pressing me into the wall. Blaise breathing deeply against my ear fills me with a sense of calm.

  We stayed like that a few moments more recovering before he scooped me up. I laughed. “I think you’ve broken me.”

  His fathomless gaze pierced mine and he smiled but it was an empty smile that tugged at my heart. It sparked the embers of curiosity burning low. I knew that he wouldn’t keep me but I was resigned to the fleeting bliss of indulging in our shared desire. I knew now that he really was going to leave me but I appreciated his attempt at giving me the best twenty-four hours despite that.

  He shouldered open a door to reveal a bathroom, depositing me on the counter before he turned the taps on the freestanding tub in the middle of the room and filling the room with steam. He positioned me in the bath, bracketing me between his legs, and grabbed the soap to begin rubbing it into my back, soothing my tense muscles. I relaxed into his touch, luxuriating under the attention.

  I rubbed up closer to him, feeling him grow hard under me. I laughed, “Insatiable bastard, aren’t you?”

  He hugged me closer, stroking one hand along my torso as the other rubbed shampoo into my hair. “It’s hard not to when there’s a beautiful girl in the bath with me and as much as I could keep you captive, fuck you so senseless that you’re ruined for any other guy, I do really want to get to know you.” His hands stilled, his words tailing off pensively. I tilted my head back into the crook of his neck, enjoying the bubble he had created for just us two. The intimacy of being close to him and the feel of his hands running up the sides of my body, caressing my tits, stroking me, consumed me. “That’s why I sent your friends away. I want to get to know the real you. Not the Xanthe your friends know but the Xanthe who was having a cigarette, who caught my attention in the first place.”

  I closed my eyes, shutting myself off from the world, his words cutting close to the bone. I didn’t really know who I was. I know that sounded pathetic but I had followed Xander for so long, been in his shadow that it was easy to just do what he enjoyed. Invariably, I had to follow him to lots of boring dinner parties with his tedious friends and play the part of his well-behaved little doll.

  Normally, I didn’t like behaving. Having to follow rules. Acting how people wanted me to act. Having to do it constantly made me feel trapped and like I needed to rebel. So when I could I did. I liked to party; I liked to lose myself in the hedonism and revel in the connectivity with my friends. Fuck knows if that was actually an interest. I had liked to cook as well. I wanted nothing more than to come up with all sorts of tasty creations but Xander had always said that was only appropriate in private. Not as a career. He had instead allowed me to work for my mum’s friend, Maxine, at Mint Catering & Events but that wasn’t the catering I wanted to do. Maybe I should find out what exactly that was but now was not the time. My friends joked that I was the queen of deflecting but I really did not want to talk about heavy shit like that when I was in a bath with someone as gorgeous as Blaise.

  “Well then it’s only fair that you reciprocate, I guess.” I murmured, sinking further in the tub to rinse the shampoo from my head.

  Blaise groaned. “Babe, please. You are not helping.”

  I surfaced and twisted round to smile at his tortured expression, scooting up to plant a kiss on his lips. “What?” I balanced against his body so I could rinse the water from my hair, causing my body to arch up against Blaise. He ducked his head down and captured my nipple in his mouth, biting hard. I moaned, my centre growing slick, my desire re-igniting. I would never get enough of this boy. I was insatiable.

  He lowered his hands around my hips and lifted me up onto his erection, pushing me down, filling me up. He gazed up at me, his eyes half mast with desire. “What are you doing to me, Xanthe? I’ve never met anyone like you before.”

  I rose up to sink dow
n on his cock, taking control of his pleasure. “I have you captive now,” I murmured smugly, kissing him.

  “Oh, do you now?” he challenged, his eyebrows raising.

  “I do,” I asserted, pushing down on his shoulders, amazed that he was letting me get away with this. He took hold of my lips, forcing entry, kissing me so hard that he stole my breath away. His hips rising up to meet mine, his cock ravaging my pussy so hard that I saw stars dancing at the sides of my vision. It wasn’t long before I was gasping out my release, my pussy milking his release spurting into me in thick, hot ropes of pleasure before collapsing against his chest breathless.

  After a few moments laying against each other I raised my head and peeked at him under my lashes. He smiled lazily stroking my hair, satisfied as fuck. “And you call me insatiable?” he joked. I giggled, ducking my head into the crook of his neck. We lay like that, enjoying the presence of each other before Blaise spoke, “Seriously though, I want to get to know you, the real Xanthe. Let me order some food and then let’s chat, okay?”

  I nodded my assent, allowing him to manoeuvre us out of the tub and wrap us in towels. Once we were dressed, he headed out of the room allowing me to admire the shift of his muscles under his t-shirt. I gazed at myself in the mirror, centring myself before I had to head out to see him. I wasn’t sure why his words had unsettled me so much but I would be brave, I could do this. I saw my phone laying on the bed and a charger in the corner of the room but I steeled myself against charging it up. I didn’t want to pop the bubble that Blaise and I had created.