Devil in the Details

by Morgan James

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Lydia

  Butterflies kicked up in my stomach as I peered through my lashes at Xander, Alexia settled in his lap, playing with his fingers. Fingers and hands that had touched me only moments ago, sending fire licking over every nerve ending.

  I pulled a package of pork chops from the fridge, then seasoned them and placed them in the skillet to cook. Off to the side, I started a pot of noodles. It was simple, but I knew that Alexia would eat them, since the cheesy shells were her favorite.

  In the living room, Alexia popped to her feet and wrapped one tiny hand around Xander’s thumb, her grip barely encircling his broad finger. “Up!”

  I smiled, watching as she urged him to his feet. He willingly followed as she tugged him into the kitchen. I leaned back against the cabinet as she dragged him past me. “Looks like she has you wrapped around her finger—literally,” I remarked, and Xander shot me a smile.

  He shrugged good-naturedly. “There are worse things.”

  My eyebrows pulled together as Alexia guided Xander over to the very last cabinet—the one where I kept her treats. One of her favorite foods recently was rice cakes, and I knew instinctively that’s what she was going for.

  “Alexia...”

  She glanced up at my warning tone, then darted a look at Xander. “Cookie.”

  She pulled at the cabinet door but was hindered by the baby lock I’d installed inside. She sent a pitiful look up at Xander, who crouched down next to her. “You need something inside there, baby girl?”

  Alexia pointed to the cabinet again, and Xander shot a look at me. “What’s in there?”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “Treats.” Directing my next words to Alexia, I said, “I’m making dinner right now. You can have one later.”

  Alexia barely glanced at me, instead framing Xander’s face with her tiny hands, staring imploringly up at him. “Cookie.”

  Xander cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Not right now, sweetheart.”

  His entire body went rigid as Alexia threw her head back on a wail, at the same time swooning into his arms. Her back arched as she pitched a fit, her tiny arms and legs waving erratically. Xander shot me a panicked look, and I bit the inside of my lip to keep from smiling at the sight.

  “Don’t even think about it,” I replied. I’d been on the receiving end of more than one temper tantrum, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t relish this little slice of payback he was now enjoying firsthand.

  Alexia tore herself from Xander’s arms and launched herself toward the cabinet, pulling on the knob to no avail.

  Xander started to grab for her as Alexia sank down on the ground, but I circled one hand around his wrist, stopping him. “Let her go.”

  “Cookie!” She drew out the last syllable on an exceptionally long and impressive wail. She cried pathetically, huge crocodile tears leaking from the corners of her eyes as she begged for treats. I almost felt bad—almost.

  “Alexia Laureen.” I gave her my best mom look, hand propped on my hip, completely unyielding.

  Beside me, Xander twitched as if wanting to reach for her to comfort her. I tightened my grip on his wrist, my voice low. “Show no weakness.”

  “You make it sound like wrangling a wild animal,” he murmured.

  “Good analogy,” I acknowledged. “And not far off the mark.”

  Alexia sagged against the cabinet and stared at me for a long moment before crossing her arms over her midsection and stalking from the room. Xander watched in fascination, and I rolled my lips together as the pads of her tiny feet slapped against the floor until she clambered up onto the couch and her focus was captured by the colorful cartoons on the TV.

  I released my grip on Xander’s hand. He turned to me, his expression a mixture of awe and amusement. “I can’t believe that worked.”

  I lifted one shoulder. “She’s a baby. She’s still learning the rules—and trying to figure out how to break them.”

  He shook his head, a genuine smile on his face. “Little shit.”

  A laugh bubbled up my throat. “You’re telling me.” I lifted a brow and threw him a teasing glance. “Wonder where she gets that.”

  Quick as lightning, his hand whipped out and playfully smacked my bottom. I sucked in a breath—not because it hurt, but because something occurred to me in that moment. We were flirting. I felt heat creep up my cheeks as Xander studied me, waiting for my reaction. I could do one of two things right now: I could retreat as I usually did and close myself off. Or I could do what I really wanted—give in to the way he made me feel, open myself up to his attention.

  His muscles tensed as I pulled a spatula from the drawer in front of me and brandished it in his direction. “Don’t make me use this.”

  The tension drained from his body, the serious frown on his face replaced by a wicked smile. The tips of his fingers glided over my hip as he stepped behind me under the pretense of moving toward the living room. I shivered as warm breath hit my ear. “Be careful what you wish for, darlin’. I just might take you up on that.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Xander

  I scooped the baby from her high chair, and she immediately grabbed at me, planting her cheesy sauce-covered fingers on my cheeks. I clenched my eyes closed and grabbed a tiny hand to keep her fingers from getting too close to my eyes. Her chubby hands felt so tiny, so fragile in mine, and I kissed her fingers before shifting Alexia in my arms and following Lydia upstairs.

  Water was already filling the bottom of the tub, and Lydia looked up with a grin as we entered the small room. I passed the baby to her and watched as she stripped Alexia’s tiny clothes off her body and deposited her into the tub.

  “Is she safe in there?”

  Lydia tossed a smile my way. “Of course.”

  Admittedly, I didn’t know much about kids, but she looked so little sitting in the big tub all by herself. “What if she slips?”

  “We’re both right here. Nothing’s going to happen to her.”

  I knelt beside her and leaned my elbows on the edge of the tub, watching as my girls splashed in the water, batting a yellow rubber duck back and forth. The baby could obviously sit up by herself. But I’d heard some crazy stories. “What if—?”

  A soft hand landed on my forearm. “She’s fine, Xan. Don’t worry.”

  I glanced across my shoulder at the woman kneeling beside me, her attention back on our daughter. “You’ve never called me that before.”

  Her brows dipped together. “What?”

  “You called me Xan.”

  Her cheeks pinkened, and she diverted her focus back to Alexia. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.”

  I shifted, sliding into a sitting position and resting my back against the wall so I could examine her better. “I like it.”

  She shot me a shy smile, then continued to rub soapy bubbles all over Alexia’s little body. “Can you get a towel, please?”

  Lydia rinsed the baby, then lifted her out into my waiting arms. I wrapped the fluffy towel around the baby, and a corner drooped over her face. I lifted it away. “Boo!”

  The baby screamed delightedly, and I exchanged a grin with Lydia. Dropping the towel back into place, I repeated the process several more times.

  Much too soon, Lydia’s voice intruded on our game. “All right, little lady. Time for bed.”

  My gaze found Alexia’s, and I smiled conspiratorially. “Mommy’s a buzzkill.”

  “Hey!” Lydia gently backhanded my bicep, and I let out a laugh. Alexia took a cue from us both and laughed, too, the childish peals making my heart swell. God, this felt so good. Being here, doing this together. My girls. I’d missed so much with them. Anger threatened to surge again, but I pushed the useless emotion down. Done was done. From now on, we were all in this together.

  I passed Alexia to Lydia and followed her to the bedroom at the end of the hall. The calming smell of lavender mixed with baby powder enveloped me as I stepped inside. Taking a se
at in the rocking chair in the corner, I watched as Lydia suited the baby up for bed. She slid the diaper into place, then wrangled each of the baby’s unruly arms and legs into the one-piece pajamas. All the while, Alexia babbled incoherently, pointing at the pictures hanging on the wall.

  “She’s going to be a talker, huh?”

  Lydia smiled over at me as she scooped the baby off the changing table. “She’s trying. It’ll come sooner or later.”

  I ran a hand over Alexia’s silky white-blonde hair. “She’s perfect.”

  “She is.” Lydia’s gaze met mine, and she returned my smile with a soft one of her own. “Would you mind if we stole the chair for a bit so I can feed her?”

  I noticed the sippy cup full of milk on the nightstand for the first time, and understanding dawned. “Sure.”

  She settled in and cuddled the baby on her lap. After losing almost two whole years, first with the pregnancy, then Alexia’s birth, I didn’t want to miss another moment. “Would you mind if I stayed?”

  “Do you want to feed her?” She studied me intently, a strange expression on her face. I felt for some reason like this was a kind of test.

  “Absolutely.”

  A brilliant smile curved Lydia’s mouth, making her look a thousand times more beautiful, and my heart damn near melted. She stood and gestured with her head for me to sit, then passed Alexia to me. The baby peered up at me curiously, probably wondering why I was here. “What do I do?”

  “Just hold her. She’ll hold the cup herself.” Lydia handed the cup to Alexia, who snatched it up and began to greedily gulp down the contents. “Usually we read. She loves the pictures.”

  I chuckled as I watched her. There was so much that went into caring for a baby. How had Lydia done it alone? On top of that, she was still running her own business. I’d seen the dark circles under her eyes, the ones that told me she stayed up too late and woke much too early. Lydia was working herself to the bone, spending every spare moment sewing when she wasn’t with our daughter. She was going to kill herself if she kept it up.

  Alexia’s eyes began to droop, and Lydia extracted the now-empty cup from the baby’s slack fingers. “Can you put her in bed?” she whispered.

  I stood cautiously, trying not to wake the dozing baby, and gently placed her in her crib. My breath caught as her eyelids fluttered open then fell closed again. Her arms and legs twitched, her muscles relaxing into slumber. I watched in fascination as her tiny mouth puckered, like she was dreaming of her late-night snack. I automatically slipped a hand around Lydia’s waist. She stilled for a moment before leaning into my embrace, then rested her head on my shoulder.

  I shifted her closer to me and set my chin on the top of her head. Staring down at Alexia, I couldn’t believe that we’d made something so small, so perfect. “It still blows my mind sometimes.”

  Though I kept my gaze fixed on Alexia, I could feel Lydia tip her chin up to look at me. “Her?”

  I nodded, my throat too clogged with emotion to speak. Reluctantly, I released Lydia and bent over the high wall of the crib to place a gentle kiss on my daughter’s pudgy cheek. “Night, baby girl.”

  Lydia followed suit, then closed the door behind us. I caught her hand in mine, drawing her near. “I’m really proud of you.”

  Her eyebrows dipped. “For what?”

  “This. All of it.” I gestured with my free hand. “Your business. This house. The way you are with Alexia—especially the way you are with her. You’re a great mom, Liddy.”

  She blushed. “It’s no big deal.”

  I smiled down at her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t know how you managed.”

  Her expression immediately sobered, the smile sliding from her face. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I can’t begin to tell you—”

  “Hey.” I hooked a finger beneath her chin and lifted her glassy gaze to mine. “That’s all in the past. You’ve done an amazing job, but I’m here to help from now on. Will you let me do that?”

  She nodded jerkily.

  “Good.” I stroked a thumb over her cheek. “Come on.”

  Tugging on her hand, I pulled her toward the stairs. Once in the kitchen, I swiped two bottles of beer from the carton I’d stashed in there earlier. I twisted off the tops and passed one to Lydia, then nodded to the couch. “Let’s sit.”

  She sank down next to me on the couch, her legs tucked beneath her as she half-faced me. “Thank you for this.”

  “The drink?” I took a long swig of mine and watched her do the same. “No problem. Thought you could use it to unwind a bit.”

  “It’s been a while.” Lydia’s tongue darted out, swiping up the tiny drop of liquid hovering on her bottom lip. “Actually, I think the last time I drank was with you.”

  “You don’t go out much?” I couldn’t help the little flare of satisfaction when she shook her head. She’d said the dates she’d been on had all been orchestrated by her mother. Still, she needed some time to herself once in a while. “Why not?”

  “Well...” She dropped her eyes and picked at the label before meeting my gaze again with a tiny shrug. “I didn’t really drink a whole lot to begin with, but I stopped as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Then I started nursing, so...”

  My eyebrows drew together as she trailed off. “Nursing?”

  “Breastfeeding,” she clarified, her cheeks turning pink.

  My gaze automatically dropped to her chest, where her arms folded protectively around herself, obscuring my view. Knowing she was uncomfortable but not sure why, I lifted my eyes to meet hers. An unidentifiable emotion swirled in the stormy depths. Each time I felt like we were taking a step forward, she pulled back. Didn’t she feel the same connection between us? Why wouldn’t she open up to me?

  Deciding not to push her any further for fear she might shut down completely, I changed the subject. “Can I ask you something?”

  Her expression turned guarded. “Sure.”

  “I got your emails.” It’d been bothering me for the past few days, but I hadn’t found a good time to bring it up. “Were they about...?”

  She swallowed hard, her voice barely a whisper when she spoke. “I couldn’t figure out how to tell you. When you didn’t email me back, I... I tried to find you.” Her eyes stared imploringly into mine, begging me to believe her. “The address you gave me was listed under someone else, and I couldn’t find a good phone number, and... I didn’t know what to do.”

  Her words hit me harder than I expected. “It’s my brother and his wife. I didn’t have a permanent residence, so I used their address.”

  She nodded and bit her lip. “You’ll never know how sorry I am.”

  I believed her; I should’ve known she needed something. “I’m sorry, too.”

  Now that I understood her a little better, I knew what I had to do. I needed to prove to her that I wouldn’t leave her. I wanted to protect her, take care of her and show her it was okay to lean on me. I’d be here for Alexia—for Lydia—any time she needed me.

  “Why don’t you let me watch Alexia while you’re at work tomorrow?”

  She bit her lip, a mixture of emotion I couldn’t read swirling in her pewter eyes. “Really?”

  I nodded. “I thought maybe I could hang out here with her, since all of her stuff is here.”

  I had no idea what babies needed, but from the look of things, it was a hell of a lot. Lydia’s place was packed full of stuff. A crib and stroller, a variety of bottles and cups and plates, tons of toys. I had no idea what some things were for, but I’d figure it out.

  Truth was, I wanted to be here, in Lydia’s house. It was more comfortable, felt more like home than my tiny apartment. Plus—the best part—she and Alexia were here. And the more time I spent here with them, the more I wanted to become a bigger part of their lives. I knew Lydia was still cautious, probably wondering what my intentions were.

  Reaching out, I took her hand in mine. “I told you I wanted to be involved, Lydia. I
meant that—I still mean it. I want to see our daughter every day.”

  It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her I wanted to see her every day, too, but I somehow managed to refrain. We’d flirted a bit over the past few days, but I had a feeling anything more serious would scare her away.

  The attraction between us felt natural, as if we’d been together for years instead of just a few days. There’d been times on tour when I’d wondered if my memory had been playing tricks on me, if I’d overthought our time together. We’d had sex several times that night, but I recalled every passion-soaked second of it. Seeing her here, though, being able to touch her made me realize that, if anything, I’d downplayed my attraction to her. I wanted her more than ever.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Lydia

  I yanked the door open before Xander even knocked, and the surprised look on his face would’ve made me laugh if I wasn’t so stressed out. I quickly waved him in. Since he’d been here every day, he knew where most everything was, so I gave him a quick recap of her daily schedule.

  “Her food is in the fridge. Just make sure to cut everything really well so she won’t choke. And not too many treats.” I shot him a look. “You know how well that went over last time.”

  He grinned and tweaked Alexia’s nose. “We’ll be good. Right, sweet girl?”

  “Are you sure about this?” I asked.

  “Yeah, of course.”

  “Okay.” I wrung my hands together. “But if you need anything, Darlene is right next door, and you can always text me or call the salon. Anytime,” I emphasized.

  Xander jiggled Alexia where she perched on his hip and grinned at me. “I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

  “Okay, but—”

  “Liddy.” A heavy hand landed on my shoulder, and Xander’s intense blue gaze peered into mine. “Go to work, sweetheart.”

  I knew he didn’t mean it as a dismissal, but it felt like one, and I automatically stiffened. He must’ve felt the tension in my shoulders, because he stroked his hand up the side of my neck, cupping it in one big palm. He dipped his head as if trying to capture my attention. “I promise. Everything will be just fine.”