In Your Dreams

by Kristan Higgins

  "Me? Your father was the one who was obsessed with his patients, Emmaline. As I'm sure you remember. Jack, don't make that mistake with my daughter."

  "No, no, I won't," Jack said. "She's...she's just great."

  "You make a very nice couple," Mom said, and her voice was oddly wistful. "Maybe we can go dress shopping together this time."

  Okay, time to cut bait. Even if they were Dr. and Dr. Dysfunctional, her parents were good people. They loved her in their weird way, and Em's stomach was twisting at lying to them (or twisting because of the kale salad).

  Em would come clean on Monday. Sunday, even. The very second she got out of this place.

  "When will you come home? We need to make plans for the wedding," Mom said.

  "Um...soon. We're gonna take that walk right now. Bye!" Emmaline forced a smile and rather awkwardly groped for Jack's hand, got his wrist and practically dragged him from the dining room.

  "Slow down, Seabiscuit," he said. "What's the matter?"

  "I have to get out of here or I'm going to tell the truth."

  "If you want to tell, do it," he said. "It's fine either way. You want to leave? We can go home. Whatever you want."

  "You're not helping."

  He smiled. "Before we go anywhere, let's stop by my room first. I have contraband."

  "Tell me you brought wine."

  "Of course I brought wine. I'm a winemaker."

  "Angels bless you, Jack Holland. Though you might've mentioned this yesterday."

  He grinned, and she felt it down to her toes.

  Fifteen minutes later, they were down on the beach. It was cold enough for a blanket, which Jack had thoughtfully provided. Two, in fact. One for the sand, one that he wrapped around her shoulders, as her dress wasn't doing much for her warmth.

  Very romantic indeed.

  She would have to be careful, she thought, taking a grateful sip of the wine. It was a well-known fact that Jack was like this with everyone, and half the women of Manningsport would eat a live puppy for a night with this guy. She couldn't read into anything.

  Not even that kiss. That had been a way for him to get out of a bad moment. That was all. He'd even apologized for it.

  The waves lapped at the shore, gentle at the moment. There was no wind, and the moon was rising, making the sand look like snow.

  "How old were you when your parents adopted Angela?" he asked.

  "Fourteen," she said. The wine was good, mellow and smooth and whatever other adjectives winemakers liked to use. "I went to live in Manningsport, and Mom and Dad didn't like the empty nest, so they went to Ethiopia and adopted Angela."

  "Was that weird?"

  "It was...surprising."

  "You and she seem really close."

  "Well, she's great, as you probably saw. Beautiful, smart, talented. She did some modeling in college and donated it all to the orphanage that took care of her. She's about as nice as they come. It's hard not to like her."

  "You're nice, too, you know."

  She snorted.

  "I take it back," Jack said. "Do your folks still live out here?"

  "They moved to Palo Alto to be closer to Angela. She's doing research at Stanford."

  "Research in what?"

  "Something about the evolution of stars in the ancient universe," Em said.

  "Cool."

  "You know, you could always ask her out, Jack. I'm sure she'd say yes." Imagine their babies. Beautiful to the thousandth power.

  "I don't want to ask her out. I'm a science geek, that's all. You jealous?"

  "Yes. Aflame with jealousy." She took another sip of wine. "Seriously, you could ask her out."

  "I'm here with you."

  The words sounded amazing. The urge to lay spread out like a starfish and pull Jack onto her... Wow. Very strong.

  He nudged her with his shoulder. "So how do you like my wine?"

  "Nice. So grapey."

  He gave a beleaguered sigh. "Troglodyte."

  "I take it I've just been insulted with that big word."

  "It's our best pinot noir in ten years, Emmaline. Don't chug it like it's Pepsi. Take a second to smell it." She obeyed. "Blackberry, currant, clove and leather," he said.

  "Oh, yeah. Leather. Mmm-hmm. Getting leather, sure." She sniffed again. "I'm really more of a beer person."

  "That's it. We're done. Give me back your engagement ring and tell your dad not to worry about the dowry." He smiled.

  He should really stop doing that. Every time he did, she became a little more of the Bitter Betrayeds' cliche--get dumped, make Jack Holland be your date for a dreaded event, fall half in love with him, return home never to go out with him again.

  "What year did you graduate high school?" he asked.

  "I was a year ahead of Faith."

  "Really?" He turned to look at her. God, he was just beautiful. The salt air had made his hair curl a little, as if he needed something extra to make him more appealing. "Why'd you move?"

  He'd kissed her today. Largely to distract himself from a panic attack, but he'd kissed her, and it had been a soft, gentle, amazing kiss that made her throb with...with something she hadn't felt in a long, long time.

  Tenderness.

  And lust, yes. No sense in pretending otherwise. It had taken all her self-control not to climb right onto his lap and take a bite, he was so delicious.

  "None of my business. Sorry," Jack said.

  Oh, right, he'd asked a question. "I was bullied."

  This was usually when the response was, "Really? You? You're so tough/badass/scary, Em," and Em would either agree or change the subject. Not that she brought it up much.

  "Must've been pretty bad if you had to move to get away from it," he said, looking out at the ocean.

  "Yeah."

  "Kids can be such little shits."

  "I won't disagree."

  "Why'd they bully you?"

  "I stuttered."

  He looked at her again, then put his arm around her. He was warm and solid, and, for a second, she felt the prick of tears in her eyes. Don't get carried away here, a little voice warned her.

  "Also, Kevin went to boarding school in Connecticut. And he was... We were very close."

  Kevin's kindness had been an antidote to the casual, razor-sharp cruelty of her meaner classmates. And even worse, the kids who didn't instigate but just stood by, pretending not to hear, unwilling to take a chance on a nobody like Emmaline.

  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. How was that for a T-shirt?

  "It must've been tough, not being able to speak your mind," Jack said.

  "Yep. It was." She cleared her throat, took another sip of wine. "I had this imaginary friend. Horatio."

  "Horatio?"

  "My parents read a lot of Shakespeare. Sue me."

  "So what was Horatio like?"

  She slipped off her sandals and dug her feet into the cool sand. "Well, he was very loyal, of course. I'd psychically tell him everything I couldn't get out, and he thought I was very smart and funny."

  "You are very funny and smart. You also have a wicked hip check." He gave her another grin. "I had an imaginary friend, too."

  "Really?"

  "Yeah. But mine had a cool name, unlike poor Horatio."

  "Listen, bub. Horatio is incredibly cool."

  "Mine was named Otis."

  "Otis is not a cool name, Jack. It's sad that you think so. I'm very sorry to tell you this, but Horatio wins this round."

  "Says you."

  "Did Otis serve a purpose?"

  "Absolutely. Whenever I got into trouble, I'd tell my parents that Otis had done it. And that he talked to me at night. Totally freaked out my sisters. They thought either our house was haunted or I was possessed."

  "And are you?"

  He laughed, and the sound caused her stomach to pull in a wonderful, warm ache. "I don't think so. Not anymore, at any rate."

  "Emmaline?" came a woman's voice. "Oh, my God! Is it really you?"


  Em looked up. "Uh...hi!"

  The woman, who was thin as a whippet and had very long hair, gave her a disbelieving look. "You don't remember me?" She swept some hair around to the front and began stroking the ends.

  "I'm sorry. The light isn't very good here."

  "It's me! Lyric! Lyric Adams? We went to school together!"

  Oh, yes. Em finished her wine and got to her feet. She remembered Lyric, all right. The meanest of the mean kids. "Hi."

  "Wow! You look...uh, great!" Lyric said.

  "And you look very, uh, good," Emmaline said. Lyric had had a little work done, as the saying went. Or, more precisely, a lot. Weirdly inflated lips--the famous trout pout--huge breasts exploding out of her tiny, underfed rib cage and a much thinner nose than she'd sported as a kid.

  "I know!" Lyric said, her voice taking on a different tone. "I work out with this amazing trainer? And Pilates four times a week. No gluten, no meat, no dairy, plus these cleanses? You should try them! Wheatgrass and fish oil. Amazing."

  "I'll have to pass," Em said.

  "OMG! You don't stutter anymore! I barely recognize your voice. Remember how bad you sounded? 'H-h-hi, I'm Eh-eh-eh-maline.' It took you forever to get a sentence out!" She laughed merrily, her mouth barely moving, courtesy of whatever toxin she'd had injected.

  "This is my friend Jack," Emmaline said, trying to ignore the burn in her cheeks. Lyric had been a piranha at age twelve. No reason to think she'd gotten any nicer.

  Jack stood up. "Jack Holland," he said, putting his arm around Emmaline. "Em's fiance."

  "Hi!" Lyric said. "I'm Lyric, Lyric Adams-Rabinowitz. And yes, my father is that Travis Adams. I'm an old friend of Em's."

  "Doesn't sound like it," Jack said.

  The comment went right over Lyric's head. "So you probably heard what I'm up to these days," she said. "My baby clothing line? Totally adorbs. Beyonce's daughter? She wore one of my outfits. And North West? Same. Can you even believe it? So, are you guys visiting? Wait, wait, oh, my God! You're here for Kevin and Naomi's wedding, aren't you? Oh, my God! So am I!"

  Em's toes dug into the sand. Kevin had been bullied by Lyric, too, and, yes, he and Naomi had moved back to Malibu, but still. The idea that Lyric had been forgiven was...wrong, somehow. Em's teeth ached, which meant she was clenching her jaw again.

  Lyric was still talking. "My husband? You can meet him. Not to brag, but he's a real estate mobile, and he made eight figures last year."

  "I think you meant mogul," Jack said.

  "Excuse me?"

  "Mogul. You said mobile. You meant mogul, as in tycoon. Not mobile, as in something that can be moved. I'm guessing your mobile didn't marry you for your beautiful mind."

  Emmaline bit down on a smile.

  "Whatever. So you and Kevin were together for a long time, right, Emmaline? This must be so hard for you."

  "We were together for a long time, yes."

  "And what do you do now?"

  "I'm a cop."

  "You are? Why?"

  "To protect and serve the good people of Manningsport, New York."

  "Oops! My phone's ringing! Gotta go. S-s-see you t-t-tomorrow!" Another whinnying laugh, and Lyric cantered away.

  "Holy shit," Jack said, sounding almost surprised.

  "Yeah. She was kind of doomed from the start. Thanks for sticking up for me, by the way."

  "You're welcome." He was quiet for a minute, then asked, "You okay, seeing her again?"

  Em shrugged. "Sure."

  "You should tell her off."

  "I know her type. It wouldn't do any good. I'd tell her how miserable she made me, and she'd tell me how much her shoes cost."

  "There was a kid in my class who made fun of Faith once," Jack said. "She had a seizure at church, and he did an impression of her. I beat the living snot out of him, right there at Sunday school." He paused. "Too bad I wasn't your brother."

  I have no interest in you being my brother, Jack. "Well, we should get back."

  "Whatever you say, Officer Neal."

  His phone chirped, and he took it from his pocket. She saw the name Hadley on the screen.

  "So how is it really, having your wife back in town?" she asked.

  "Ex-wife," he said.

  "Right. And how is it?"

  "It's fine." His tone, which had been warm and edged with a smile for most of the night, was cool and formal. She understood. The topic was off-limits.

  Then again, Emmaline was a police officer, and cops liked answers.

  "You still love her?"

  "I'd rather not talk about Hadley."

  Yes, in other words.

  They picked up the blankets and headed back up the hill to the ranch.

  She'd do well to remember he was here as a favor. Jack, like a lot of men, loved a woman in distress. While Em appreciated that, she didn't like being in distress (though she was aware that this whole ridiculous wedding was distress inducing).

  His ex-wife, the tiny and beautiful and vulnerable Hadley...she'd be dying to be rescued. Em would bet her front teeth (which had once been knocked out in a hockey match and had been very expensive to fix) that Hadley had put a great deal of thought and strategy into her return to Manningsport and would need to be rescued. Often.

  Besides, Em wasn't the type to fight for a man. She'd tried that once and lost.

  Not that Jack was even interested in her. That kiss had been a coping strategy and nothing else.

  The walk back to Rancho de la Luna was quiet.

  In thirty-six hours, she'd be on her way home. Hopefully, there'd be a crime spree in Manningsport, and she could go back to doing what she knew how to do.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  SO HERE'S THE THING.

  If you're going to your ex-fiance's wedding, and he's marrying a woman who has twice been featured on the cover of Fitness magazine, you do try to look good. You do strange and exotic things like blow-dry your hair, even without the magic goop from Sicily, and when it comes out looking as if you've electrocuted yourself, you pounce upon a maid and beg her to find you something--anything--you can use, the end result of which is an industrial-size can of Aqua Net and hair that might shatter if you hit your head. You wrestle yourself into Spanx, hating yourself for caving to the societal pressures of this type of undergarment. You attempt makeup, then get mascara in the white of your eye, then try for ten minutes to get it out, then end up looking like you've been crying all night. You push your innocent feet into heels that look like something invented by the Holy Roman Inquisitor. You put the raw chicken breasts back in your bra.

  And you put on a dress that makes you feel like you're trying way too hard.

  Which, of course, you are.

  Emmaline looked in the mirror.

  She looked weird.

  There was a knock on the door. "You ready?" Jack called.

  Em sighed, grabbed her purse and opened the door. "Hey. You look-- Have you been crying?" he asked.

  "No. I had something in my eye. I did. Don't look at me that way."

  "We can skip this," Jack said. "Go get a nice juicy cheeseburger."

  "Get thee behind me, Satan," she said. "We can't skip this. As for cheeseburgers, we can go to an In-N-Out on the way to the airport in just twenty-two and a half short hours."

  Jack smiled.

  "You look very handsome, by the way," she said, then felt her cheeks flush. But he did. He had on a gray suit and a white shirt, and that smile could launch a thousand ships.

  "And you look beautiful," he said. She managed not to snort. He offered her arm, and she took it, abruptly and overwhelmingly glad that Faith had asked him to be her date.

  They were almost the last ones to the wedding, which was held on the lawn that stretched to the cliff edge. Rows of white chairs festooned with pink roses and yards of white fabric faced the ocean, where a justice of the peace waited in a snazzy red dress. A string quartet was assembled near the front. Her parents gave her a wave, and Angela made the shape of a heart wit
h her hands.

  If it felt as if everyone was looking at her, they probably weren't.

  Besides, they all thought she was engaged to the man next to her.

  The string quartet started playing something slow and lovely. Bach, maybe, and the first of the six bridesmaids came down the aisle. All were clad in pale pink sheath dresses and holding white calla lily bouquets. Colleen went past, the prettiest of them all, and rolled her eyes at Em and Jack, then resumed smiling demurely. She was too nice to behave badly, after all. And maybe she had fond memories of Naomi, no matter how loyal she'd been to Em.

  Then came the adorable flower girls, four of them, dressed in white tulle with pink sashes, scattering rose petals.

  And then there was the bride herself, unescorted, though her dad was here somewhere. Based on what Em knew of Naomi, she'd want to make sure every eye was on her and her alone. Naomi stood there a moment for dramatic effect, waiting for the bridesmaids to fall into place (or start doing burpees, maybe). They did, and the musicians stopped for a moment.

  If you didn't look into her glittering red, Smaug-like eyes, Naomi made a beautiful bride.

  There was that body, perfectly showcased in a low-cut, low-backed wedding gown that swirled around her, clinging in all the right spots (everywhere, in other words), elegant and really hot at the same time. Naomi's skin was lightly tanned, her hair pulled up in a stark bun, and her jewelry was a single fat pearl on a thin gold chain, tiny pearls in her ears.

  Very classy.

  Then the music started, and Emmaline made a startled noise, then tried not to let her eye twitch. Found herself wishing a severe case of anal fissures on Kevin, because please.

  The song was "Largo," from the winter section of Vivaldi's Four Seasons.

  Emmaline knew this because Kevin had chosen that very piece for Em to walk down the aisle to. He'd said it was the most beautiful music he'd ever heard, and he wanted to hear it play as the most beautiful woman became his wife.

  Would it be wrong to dry heave right now?

  Naomi started down the aisle, slowly, smoothly. Frickin' beaming at her guests, seeming to make eye contact with every single person there. Except Emmaline, of course. Her eyes slid right over Em, seeing and not seeing.

  Why the hell had Em been invited? Why the hell had she come?

  Emmaline looked at the groom, who was staring in a tearful, happy daze at Naomi. New Kevin looked different from her Kevin, and that helped.

  But his eyes were the same. And while of course Em had known for quite some time that Kevin wouldn't be looking at her with wonder and love and joy as she walked down the aisle, she'd managed not to picture those big dark eyes looking at someone else, either.