by Margaux Fox
“Thank you Sergeant Kennedy,” said Alexandra.
The other one, Erin snapped onto her own wrist.
The back up team would follow their GPS location and make sure the cars were moved to the nearest pick up point. It was Erin’s job to know the fastest way to the cars at any point. Erin’s job to watch for danger and to keep in radio contact with the back up.
“Good afternoon Paige. Good afternoon Michelle.” Alexandra remembered the names of the stable girls too. It was astounding, Erin thought. She remembered everyone’s names, or perhaps she had Jess brief her on which staff she would see each day, so it looked like she remembered their names. Either way, it made everyone feel special. It made everyone feel that bit of warm Princess Alexandra magic.
“This is Amber.” Alexandra gestured to the chestnut horse as she spoke to Erin. “You will ride her.”
Erin nodded and mounted the lovely Amber whilst Alexandra mounted the dazzlingly white horse. Erin wondered how many hours and what special shampoos it had taken the stable girls to make the white horse so clean.
And then they were off. Riding away from everyone. Erin felt nervous. Not of the riding, that bit was easy and comfortable for her, just nervous that she did everything right. She knew as the new girl and as a woman she would be constantly having to prove herself. She rode slightly to the side and behind Alexandra, giving her her space, still not knowing exactly how Alexandra liked everything. It was one thing reading and learning Alexandra’s preferences but another to actually work so closely with one of the most famous women in the world.
Erin’s horse was beautifully trained, it was obvious as soon as they set off. The mare was light in the hand and responsive to the leg. It was a pleasure to ride such a lovely horse.
Alexandra turned around in the saddle and looked back to Erin.
“Erin, please ride beside me.”
“Of course Ma’am.”
Erin moved her horse alongside Alexandra’s.
“Erin, where did you learn to ride?” Alexandra asked, her eyes focussed on Erin as she asked.
Erin felt this strange nervousness again as Alexandra spoke to her.
“Er, so I always rode. As a child, I guess. My mum had horses. She borrowed this fat black pony for me to ride. He was called Tommy and he always had a look on his little face like he couldn’t decide if he was going to throw me off or not that day.”
Alexandra laughed, her smile wide and open. Her teeth perfect, neat and white.
“He was pretty naughty. I fell off a lot. She got me lessons and I got better. I guess I had to. You soon learn to hold on with a pony like that. I was obsessed with the horses. When I was a bit bigger and fell off less often, I would ride my mum’s horses. We went to jumping competitions, sometimes we did pretty well. I always wanted to work with horses actually. I wanted to ride in the Olympics.”
“Yet, here you are, babysitting members of the Royal Family? How did that happen? This won’t help you get to the Olympics,” Alexandra responded, she seemed genuinely curious.
“Oh, I did work with horses before I joined the police. I worked for an International Event Rider. She was in the British team. I learnt a lot. I loved it, mostly. The winters can be long and cold. But in the summer, it was the best job in the world. Riding beautiful horses in the sunshine.”
“And the Olympics?” Alexandra asked.
“Oh, so I wasn’t ever really good enough and I never had the right horse. I mean, I competed to a decent level. I maybe could have gone further. My best horse got seriously injured. It was a struggle to get by financially. I could train young horses, but then it made more sense financially to sell them, rather than risk them getting injured pursuing my selfish dreams. I could have done more. I could have dedicated years and years more of my life in the hope it came off. Working with horses is a long hard slog on an uneven field. They say it is a rich person’s sport. And I was never a rich person. And I didn’t have a rich family or husband to support me. I just loved the horses.” Erin felt herself opening up. “I don’t know, I have some regrets. Sometimes, I think I should have tried harder. Should have been more resilient, tougher. When things went wrong, I gave up and applied for the police.”
It seemed somehow easy to talk suddenly. Erin found herself speaking words she had never spoken in the easy January air. A crisp winter’s day they would call it. The sunshine lazy, but bright over the hillside. The grass dewy beneath the regular step of the hooves of the two horses and the only sounds, the birds in the trees and the rhythmic breath of the big beautiful animals.
It felt like they were the only two people in the world, the Princess and her bodyguard.
“Your best horse?”Alexandra asked. “What happened to her?”
“She died,”Erin said. Factual and distant to minimise the pain she had been through. “We had a really bad fall over a jump in a big competition and she broke her leg and had to be put to sleep. Well, they like to say put to sleep. They shoot them though, horses. They had to shoot her- she could never have recovered.”
“Oh Erin, I am so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard that was for you. What was her name? What was she like?” Alexandra asked.
Erin smiled, tiny tears threatening the corner of her eyes. Nobody ever really asked that. When they found out the horse was dead, they changed the subject fast.
“Her name was Alaska. She was a big independent mare. She was fast and bold and an incredible jumper. Her bravery was probably what went wrong in the end, she was too brave and thought she knew it all. She misjudged the jump. Or I did. Or maybe we both did slightly. She liked apples better than carrots. She was the most intelligent horse I ever knew. I had her since she was young, we learned everything together.”
“She was lucky to have you and lead the life she did, Erin. It sounds like a life of excitement and wonder. You should try to let go of blaming yourself.” When Alexandra spoke, she spoke with a wisdom and balance beyond anything Erin had heard before.
Erin’s radio crackled.
“Marshall to Kennedy. All OK? Over.”
Erin woke up suddenly and put her wrist to her mouth.
“Affirmative Marshall. We are still heading South. Over.”
Erin looked back to Alexandra, her position on the horse perfect, her hips moving with the horse and her hands light on the reins. The sunlight was on her face, lighting the perfect lines of her cheekbones. Her finely defined features golden in the light.
“Thank you Ma’am.” Erin said. “Where did you learn to ride Ma’am.”
“Oh, an almost similar story,” Alexandra laughed. “My family always had horses. They got me a fat little pony when I was a child. He was less naughty than your Tommy by the sound of it.” Alexandra laughed again. Her laughter was musical. She was angelic.
“The trouble with my family and my life is that I’m never allowed to fall. Not in any aspect of life. There’s too many people saving me all of the time. I always loved the horses though. As a child I watched equestrian sports at the Olympics and I thought it was something I wanted to do when I grew up. That was before I really knew what ‘Future Queen’ meant. There are a lot of things you can’t do as Future Queen. A lot of risks you cannot take. My cousin Zara rode in the Olympics you know?”
“Yes.” Erin nodded.
“I was jealous of her. Jealous of her life and her world. The same, yet different. Zara was allowed to fall.”
The two rode in silence for a minute, lovely horses stepping in time to each other.
“You want to canter up this hill?” Alexandra asked looking to Erin and smiling. “Race you,” she said.
Before Erin could respond, Alexandra’s heels were to her horses sides and the horse responded, powering up the hill. Erin urged her own horse forward worried for a second about the Princess’s safety. Should she ride that fast? But as she chased her she saw Alexandra’s perfect balance with the horse, she was a natural. There was nothing to worry about. She caught herself watching Alexandra’s rou
nd ass bob up and down ahead of her in the tight breeches she was wearing. She shook her head and tried to come back to reality. This was work. This wasn’t just a perv fest. She needed to stop being distracted by Alexandra. Somehow.
The wind was in their faces as the horses raced up the hill. It was exhilarating, fun. Erin could see why Alexandra needed the horses in her life. Riding was her freedom. The time when she could be really herself. At one with her horse. Once upon a time they were both pony-mad little girls. Just born into different worlds. Maybe Alexandra wasn’t that different from her after all.
5
A couple of weeks passed and Erin began to get used to Alexandra’s schedule. They settled into the dance of client and bodyguard. The bodyguard working to learn her client's every move, her every step, her every decision. Erin working to know exactly what the Princess wanted and needed before she knew it herself. Learning what scared the Princess, how present she wanted her protection in different situations. Still scanning constantly for danger. The only way to truly protect someone is to know them and their life better than you know your own. Erin found herself easily slipping into the role of Alexandra’s shadow. It was the most natural job she had ever found herself in. She was always alert and aware, but she blended easily into the background. Alexandra seemed happy with her. Alexandra began to be at ease and comfortable around her. Alexandra began to look to her for reassurance when they were out. Erin noticed a vulnerability in Alexandra that she would never have imagined was there.
There were walkabouts where they would visit cities and walk around meeting members of the public, Alexandra every inch the dazzling Princess they all wanted her to be.
There were charity events where Alexandra’s face and presence would help the charity immeasurably. Erin watched from the sidelines as people took and took from Alexandra. Everyone wanted a piece of her, her time, her words, her touch. How much did she have to give? How long would she be able to keep giving?
When they finished for the day and returned to one or other of Alexandra’s residences, Erin would always walk with her back to her suite of rooms- Erin’s bedroom and bathroom immediately next to the Princess’s. Alexandra would look tired then. The loveliness of her face carried the great burden of her role late in the evening in her private rooms. She would kick off her heels and sit quietly and sigh. Sometimes she would request a drink or snack. Usually a gin and tonic which would be brought to her room quickly, a nervous waiter shy behind the trolley.
Alexandra always seemed to be alone in the evening and late at night. Quiet, contemplative and alone. Erin went to her own room alone. She found herself more and more distant from her own life and more and more absorbed in the Princess’s. She ignored texts from Sophie. Sophie seemed so insignificant suddenly. Sophie’s beauty that had always stunned her had paled in her mind. She sat quietly and watched Netflix and read books.
She couldn’t stop thinking about what Alexandra might be doing behind the wall that separated them. Alexandra sleeping, her face gentle in repose. Alexandra undressing, her skin golden in the warm light from her bedside lamp. Alexandra. Alexandra. Alexandra.
I can’t stop thinking about you.
Six weeks after starting with Alexandra, Erin was settled into the routine. She attended the morning briefing at 7am each day with the security team. Half an hour every morning with Chief Inspector Evan’s inflated ego and big shiny head was a necessary evil of the job. He might have a higher rank than her but she could see it constantly irked him that he wasn’t in a more high profile position. He would never admit it but it was clear to Erin that he would have given anything to walk beside Alexandra or her father in public. He was the background man for the background men. He was stuck with organising and researching, sorting schedules, leading briefings, planning security advance parties for the venues Alexandra would visit.
The briefing was followed up with the promised daily 1:1 with an experienced officer. This particular day they ran through unarmed combat. Erin’s muscle memory acting fast. Her reactions passing the tests they gave her. Her relief palpable. She was doing it. She was doing the job and doing it well. She was protecting the future Queen of the United Kingdom. So far, she had had zero fuck ups. So far, the officers doing the 1:1s with her were quietly impressed.
This was followed by her daily gym session in the palace gym. Fit for anything, that was what she was supposed to be. And she felt it. In the best shape she had been in. Her muscles lean and strong. Her body athletic, but powerful.
Then back to her suite to shower and change and eat and study the daily schedule and ready herself for the day ahead. Alexandra was in the communal drawing room lounging and drinking tea as Erin returned from the gym. Alexandra in bare feet and royal blue silk lounge pants and an ivory silk vest. The straps were delicate over Alexandra’s own delicate shoulders. Almost pyjamas Erin thought. She had never seen Alexandra like this. She had only seen the perfect public Alexandra. This was the real Alexandra. This Alexandra was without make up, her ashy hair in messy waves, her skin glowing despite the lack of make up. Her eyes still intensely blue, her nipples clearly visible under the ivory silk. Erin felt suddenly deeply uncomfortable, a feeling of desire low in her belly. She couldn’t take her eyes off Alexandra.
She stopped still in her sweaty gym kit and looked uncomfortable.
It was Alexandra who spoke,
“Good morning Erin, How was your gym session? You look like you worked hard. Your arms are looking strong.” Alexandra’s eyes flickered over Erin’s biceps and forearms, still wet from exertion.
Erin felt more uncomfortable. Alexandra smiled.
“I have nothing till the dinner with Prince Nicolas of Sweden this evening so I won’t be getting ready until later. I am taking a day to relax and stay in.”
“Sure, yes. Of course,” stammered Erin. “You like Prince Nicolas?” Erin grasped at something to make conversation, then rolled her eyes at herself for the stupidity of her comment.
Alexandra didn’t seem phased and smiled curiously.
“Oh, I’m not so sure yet. My father wants me to consider him for marriage. So I guess that is what I am doing. Spending some time with him and considering.”
“Oh, erm…. Is that how it works?” Erin asked awkwardly. Still standing near the door in her sweaty clothes. Still staring at Alexandra in loose fitting silk that skimmed her curves.
“Well, sort of. I mean, I get to choose who I marry. But there are, let’s say, suggestions. A shortlist of suitable men. The trouble is, I’m not getting any younger, so the pressure to marry is high.” Alexandra sighed.
“Wow, I can’t imagine having to make that kind of decision,” replied Erin.
Alexandra laughed. Something about Erin’s awkwardness always tickled her.
“Oh, believe me, I wish I didn’t have to. Do you know of Queen Elizabeth the first Erin?”
“Er… sort of. I mean, we did history at school,” Erin said vaguely.
“She ruled from 1558 for 44 years. She was a strong female ruler and she never married or produced children despite pressure to do so. I mean, it was a different time. But, I really wish I could do similar.”
“Surely you can do as you please? You are Princess Alexandra?” It sounded so simple when Erin said it.
Alexandra laughed.
“Why don’t you want to marry?” Erin asked.
Alexandra smiled again, marvelling at this woman who just asked the questions that everyone else avoided.
“Ah, I just wish I had more freedom to choose. Perhaps, if it was the right person. Perhaps, if I was in love, it might feel different. Feel like less of a business arrangement.”
“Have you ever been in love?” asked Erin.
“Oh, not really. Once, a long time ago, I kind of thought I was. But it wasn’t real. It had no future. These days, perhaps I would have handled things differently.” Alexandra looked wistful and there was a sadness in her eyes. “Have you ever been in love Erin?”
; Erin blushed, taken aback. “Well, I mean yes. I thought I was. But it turned out she maybe didn’t love me so much in return. She turned out to not be that great of a person.”
“Maybe we aren’t so different after all.” Alexandra fixed Erin with her eyes, the blue so intense Erin had to look away first.
“I’d better go get a shower,” Erin said. A cold shower, she thought to herself, heat rising between her legs. Heat rising to her face.
Alexandra smiled and nodded and Erin dashed into the safety of her room.
Erin headed straight to the bathroom and turned on the shower while stripping her clothes off. She stepped under the warm water letting it run over her face and down over her body, it felt sensual on her skin. She prayed for the water to wash away her inappropriate thoughts about Alexandra. Alexandra in fine silk, her nipples prominent. Tearing Alexandra out of the fine silk, her nipples in Erin’s mouth….. Erin shook her head under the stream of water. This was crazy. This was absolutely crazy.
6
Erin waited in the drawing room and Alexandra emerged at 7pm, exquisite in a long dark red dress with long sleeves that hinted at her body beneath, but remained classy and fitting of her royal stature. Her shimmering hair was pinned up, Alicia had been hard at work. Her face was somehow more beautiful with her hair back from it, the lines of her perfect bone structure catching the light as she moved with effortless grace. Diamonds glinted at her ears and neck. Erin gasped when she saw her.
“You look incredible,” the words spilled out of Erin’s mouth before she had time to consider them. She broke the rule that you never speak to the Princess unless she speaks to you first.
