by Margaux Fox
Alexandra chose to overlook Erin’s mistake and responded.
“Thank you,” she replied, genuinely grateful for the compliment. “I wasn’t sure if the dress was too much. I’ve lost a couple of pounds recently after some unflattering photos, so Natalie got this dress in a smaller size than usual. I wasn’t sure if I look too, you know, thin?”
Erin looked carefully at her body, a body she had caught herself looking at so many times since starting this job. This was the issue with someone of Alexandra’s celebrity. They have to be thinner than the average person. The camera sometimes lies. The cameras of the world cannot be allowed to take a photo where Alexandra looks fat. Fat is something Alexandra cannot afford to be. So Alexandra is thin. Mostly thin. She has a gym, she has a personal trainer, she has a nutritionist and chef. Just thin enough to look perfect in clothes. Just thin enough so her breasts are still full and her ass is still round; she cannot afford to look unfeminine either. Erin could see that if she were naked, Alexandra’s ribs and hips would be prominent. Right now, her collarbone was prominent, but her breasts were still full and her waist was still tiny. It was how she needed to be for her job. It was what the people wanted to see.
“You look perfect.” Erin responded. “So, so beautiful,” she said genuinely.
Alexandra shone in response.
“I won’t need you tonight, Erin. The dinner is in the palace. Feel free to take the night off. And please let the other girls and the drivers know to do the same. I won’t need anything else tonight.”
“Er… thanks,” said Erin. “I’ll probably be around. I’m not going anywhere, so if you need anything later…”
Alexandra thanked her and glided out of the room towards the grand hall for dinner with her potential husband, Prince Nicolas.
Erin went back to her room alone.
She couldn’t get the image of Alexandra in the red dress out of her mind.
Alexandra smiled and welcomed everyone to the palace as she sat at the head of the table. She made a special welcome to Prince Nicolas of Sweden, their guest of honour for the evening. He was lean and tall and very gentlemanly with sandy blonde hair. Alexandra contemplated him for a second. Could she imagine him by her side for the rest of her life? Her face screwed up slightly at the thought.
The other nobles, Alexandra knew well. She had known them all for years. Lord Hugo was sitting on one side of her and Prince Nicolas on the other side at the top of the huge table. She still hadn’t ended things properly with Hugo. She had kept meaning to, but it just hadn’t happened yet. She knew she could never marry him. As she spoke and welcomed everyone, Hugo swilled the dark red wine boldly. This was one of the reasons; every time she saw Hugo lately he was drinking. Not just socially having a wine, but downing glass after glass, the rich red liquid to his lips as though it was Alexandra’s blood he was draining. She felt like that when she was around him lately, uneasy, as though he was going to be angry when she ended things. That was probably why she kept delaying the inevitable. He was always drinking, always seemed volatile. His dark eyes that she had once found charming, she now found accusatory and loose from the alcohol.
“You look very beautiful tonight, Your Royal Highness.” Prince Nicolas was charismatic as he took her hand to kiss it and addressed her.
“Why, thank you, kind Prince,” responded Alexandra coyly, “Please, call me Alexandra.”
“I will, Alexandra, and yourself, please call me Nicolas.”
“Too skinny,” the unwanted input from the other side. Hugo snapping at her. “Only joking, Your Highness, of course. I just preferred your lovely body before you lost weight.”
Alexandra seethed inside but chose not to react. Her body was judged every day of her life, this man that was supposed to want to love her, to care about her, had no right to join in with the scrutiny.
She smiled as though unaffected, “Oh, I guess I had better have a second helping of supper tonight then?”
Later that evening, Erin was dozing on her bed fully dressed when she woke to hear raised voices in the drawing room.
“You are an embarrassment Hugo. This sham relationship between us, it cannot go on. Your drinking is worse than ever.”
Erin recognised Alexandra’s elegant voice instantly.
She recognised Hugo by name. Lord Hugo. According to the newspapers and magazines he was Alexandra’s sometime boyfriend and potentially her future husband. She was occasionally photographed with him. Yet, having been in the Princess’s service for weeks now, this was the first that Erin had seen of him.
Erin sat up and listened in to what was happening, edging closer to the door, her curiosity ripe.
“For fuck’s sake Alexandra, when are we going to take this further? What was this silly play off with that blonde Swedish idiot all about at dinner? You are supposed to be with me. This has been planned our whole lives, that we would grow up and marry. You will never find someone more suitable for the role. You think there are loads of men around that want to live in your shadow? You think it is everyone’s ambition to be emasculated like that? Well I’ll tell you right now, it isn’t. I’m not delighted by the idea, but I have been prepared my whole life to be your husband. I am prepared to give up my own ambition and desires for you. To support you as you become Queen.” Lord Hugo’s voice was angry and his words were slurred from the alcohol.
“I don’t want it, Hugo. I don’t want to be with you. This is over between us. This. Us. It is over.” Alexandra wanted finality. Erin felt like she was prying into Alexandra’s most private moments, but she couldn’t help herself. She continued to listen in behind the door.
“Over?” Lord Hugo laughed loudly. “How can something be over when it never actually begun? We have been together 5 years Alexandra. For the cameras. You kiss me for the cameras, you hold my hand for the cameras. In private, nothing. You won’t even spend your evening with me if you can help it. You need to lighten up. You need to actually try it. You aren’t seventeen anymore, this virgin crap is wearing terribly thin.”
Erin heard commotion and a bang and something fall and smash on the tiled floor. She heard Alexandra gasp.
“Get off me. Get your hands off me.” Alexandra’s voice sounded panicked.
There was a split second when Erin had to choose whether to burst out and interrupt them or not. Was this her job? Or would Alexandra consider it interfering in her personal life?
She waited.
She heard Alexandra gasp and cry out and there was more commotion. Erin burst out of her door into the hallway. She saw Lord Hugo pinning Alexandra against the wall, his big figure blocking her exit, his left hand tightly gripping Alexandra’s wrists. The weight of him pinned her back. The skirt of her long red dress was pushed up around her hips and his right hand was ferreting underneath, pushing between her legs.
He turned his head when he heard Erin’s entrance and he laughed.
“Get the fuck out of here, this is between the Princess and myself.” Hugo’s voice was loud and intimidating. Erin imagined his hot sour breath on Alexandra’s beautiful face.
“Call your fucking dog off, Ally.” Hugo spat at Alexandra.
Her eyes looked to Erin, fear and desperation in them.
“You heard the Princess. Get your hands off her,” said Erin more confidently than she felt. Lord Hugo was a powerful man who didn’t want to be told ‘no’.
“She is my fucking girlfriend. I’ll do what I like. What are you going to do about it? Shoot me? I always said having a stupid little girl playing as a bodyguard was a dumb idea, but you wouldn’t listen Ally, would you?” Erin watched in horror as he pushed his right hand further into Alexandra’s underwear forcing his fat fingers inside her. Alexandra screamed and tried in vain to resist, her strength no match for his.
In seconds, Erin responded. She wrenched his right arm away from the Princess, taking him momentarily off balance and then pulled it into a painful hold up behind his back. Hugo shouted and let go of Alexandra who collapsed to the floor.
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Erin had complete control over him now, as he moved to resist she just lifted the arm lock slightly and he yelped in pain.
She walked him to the door of Alexandra’s suite of rooms and said to him, “If you get out of here right now, I won’t call the rest of the security team. Never ever treat any woman like that. Never ever treat the Princess like that again.” Erin tightened her hold, causing him intense pain. “Do you agree to leave quietly if I release you?”
“For fuck’s sake. Yes, whatever. Just let go of my fucking arm. I’ll have you done for assault.” Hugo stammered in shock.
Erin let go of him and opened the door. Her eyes, aggressive and threatening as she used her body and the door to usher him out, closing and locking the door quickly behind him.
Erin looked to the Princess, crumpled on the floor.
“Do you want me to call further security for him? Do you want me to report this?” she asked gently.
“No, no, please don’t,” said Alexandra, tears on her fine cheekbones.
Erin knelt next to the Princess kindly, she looked so small and fragile suddenly, huddled on the floor, her beautiful dress torn and her makeup smudged. “Can I call anyone for you?”
Alexandra looked up, her blue eyes big and scared. “Please, no. I don’t want anyone to know.”
“Let me help you to your room.” Erin offered her hand and the Princess took it. Erin stood strong and pulled Alexandra up from the floor.
Alexandra clung to Erin’s arm, her perfume strong in the silence. Erin guided her to her bedroom, the rooms that were so busy during the day, empty now at night after her staff had been sent home. Erin was the only one who lived so close. It was the first time she had seen inside Alexandra’s bedroom and Erin was blown away by the splendour. Erin had never seen a four poster bed before, but here one was in this huge room. Rich dark hand carved wood, with white veils and curtains all around it. A canopy of white for the Princess. A hint of contemporary amongst the traditional and the antique. The old amongst the new. The Princess with her bodyguard.
Alexandra sat on the edge of her bed, looking shell shocked.
She looked up at Erin again. “Erin, please stay with me. Please help me.”
Erin had never seen anyone more delicate and vulnerable than the wide eyed Princess before her.
“Of course Ma’am. Whatever you need.” Erin said. “Shall I run you a bath?” Erin asked.
Alexandra didn’t really reply, so Erin went ahead to the huge bathroom suite and the vast bath and turned on the taps anyway. She found some luxury bath creme that claimed to be Amber and Vanilla. It smelt beautiful so she added it to the hot water, its shimmery pale gold liquid swirling and dispersing under and into the water.
She returned to the bedroom with a white towelling robe and Alexandra was still sitting there, almost catatonic. Erin picked up her hand and asked if she wanted to take the dress and jewellery off.
She nodded but made no attempt to remove anything.
“Shall I help you?” Erin asked, so cautious of overstepping boundaries, but at the same time, so keen to help this troubled woman.
Alexandra nodded again. Erin began by gently unclasping her necklace. She was surprised at the weight of the diamonds as she lifted it from Alexandra’s collarbone. She removed the diamonds from her ears and lifted her hand to remove her bracelet. As she unclasped the bracelet she saw the skin beginning to form shades of blue and purple around her slim wrist.
Erin asked if it was ok to help her off with her dress. Another despondent nod. Erin slid it from her shoulders and helped her pull her arms through, as though helping a child undress. She wore no bra. Her breasts were surprisingly full against her prominent ribs and narrow shoulders. Erin helped her stand and slipped the torn dress down over her hips and it fell in a pile on the floor.
Princess Alexandra stood before her in small white panties, there were more bruises beginning to appear on her arms; Erin immediately helped her on with the soft robe. She wrapped Alexandra up in it, it was way too big for her. Erin’s desire for this woman momentarily overcome with her desire to care for her. Alexandra slipped off her own underwear and sat back on the bed. Erin couldn’t help but catch sight of the white panties on the floor, slightly torn and bloodied.
“Er, Ma’am, I think you are bleeding. Should I call someone? The palace doctor? I think maybe I should?” Erin was scared suddenly. Scared that this wasn’t something she should be dealing with alone.
Alexandra gasped and touched between her legs, her fingers coming out with a smudge of blood on them.
“Please, no, Erin. Please no. I don’t want anyone to know.” Alexandra re-iterated. “Please call me Alexandra.”
And suddenly they were just two women with a secret. Erin and Alexandra. Alexandra needed her help.
Erin sat beside her and removed the pins from her hair, one by one, tenderly, letting the ashy waves fall piece by piece around her shoulders.
It felt like there was a trust between them, a deepening of their relationship suddenly. To something more.
Erin checked the bath and turned off the taps.
“Alexandra, the bath is ready.” It felt strange calling her Alexandra. Strange, but somehow right.
“Will you sit with me? I don’t want to be alone,” Alexandra asked as she dropped her robe, walked to the bath and stepped into the steaming bubbles.
Erin was star stuck for a second as she watched her, Princess Alexandra, naked and ethereal. People didn’t say no to the future Queen. She knew that. Of course Erin would sit with her.
There was a stool in the big bathroom that Erin sat on, positioning herself so as to avert her eyes from the Princess’s body under the water.
“I can’t believe he did that.” Alexandra broke the silence.
“Has he ever done anything like that before?” Erin queried.
“God, no. I mean, when I have been alone with him and he has been drinking, he can get a bit pushy. But I’ve known him all my life. At one time I thought I would marry him. I guess it is my own fault. I led him on too much. He has actually been very patient with me. I should have just let him have sex with me already.” Alexandra hung her head.
“Alexandra, NO. Absolutely not. You should never have sex with someone because you feel like you should. This was not your fault. He was a brute. A vile pig. Nobody should ever behave like that. Your body is not his property. I’m so sorry, I should have acted sooner. I just didn’t know for sure what to do. I didn’t want to interfere. I wasn’t sure what you wanted.” Erin felt angry at the man who had hurt her. Erin felt angry at the world that made this incredible woman believe that something like this could possibly be her fault.
“Erin, I cannot thank you enough for being there and for what you did. If you hadn’t been there it would have been so much worse, I’m sure. He wouldn’t have stopped. I couldn’t have stopped him. He is so much bigger than me.”
“Of course,” Erin replied. “That is what I am here for. I will always protect you. I just wish I could have done more. I wish I could have intervened earlier. Before it went that far.”
There was a gentle peace between them as Alexandra washed herself and Erin sat quietly next to her, the scent of amber and vanilla heavy in the air. The whole experience was surreal, but Erin found her heart full with love for the Princess. She wanted so fiercely to protect her and care for her, but evil had come for her, from where it was least expected. Erin knew she had to be better at her job, but at the same time feared for what might happen if Lord Hugo accused her of assault. Hopefully it would never come to that.
Back in Alexandra’s bedroom, wrapped tightly in her fluffy robe, Alexandra said, “Erin, will you hold me? Please?”
Their eyes met and it seemed on one level like the most natural thing in the world and on another level deeply inappropriate. Erin agreed to and opened her arms and Alexandra folded into them like a troubled child, her face to Erin’s breast, her hair damp through Erin’s shirt.
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sp; They stayed like that for a while, Erin stroked her face and her hair. Alexandra cried. Day to day, this woman was so tightly wound. Day to day, she could never let anything out like this. Erin gave her strong arms in which to collapse into.
Erin kissed the top of her head, before she had even thought about what she was doing. Alexandra didn’t move. Maybe she hadn’t noticed. Maybe, they could both pretend that hadn’t happened. Probably best if they both pretended none of this had happened.
Alexandra fell asleep in Erin’s arms eventually and Erin gently and quietly tried to extract herself and leave Alexandra on the bed without waking her. She found a big blanket and put it over her sleeping form.
For a moment she looked at the Princess’s troubled face in the hazy light from the lamp. Her eyelashes flickered lightly as she dreamed.
Then she pulled herself together, remembered who this woman was and who she herself was, and she turned and walked away.
In the world we live in, that kind of love does not exist.
7
The following morning all was quiet as Erin attended the 7am security briefing, her personal training and the gym. Nobody had a clue what had happened the night before, and she wasn’t about to tell them. She headed back up to Alexandra’s suite to find it a hive of activity. All of the girls preparing Alexandra for her day of public engagements. Everything was going ahead as usual. Alexandra was disturbingly normal and there was no sign of the vulnerable girl from the night before.
“Morning Erin.” Alexandra’s lovely voice was as normal and warm as ever as she sat patiently in hair and make up as Alicia worked away at her, her face deep in concentration.
“Morning Ma’am,” Erin was back to the professional. Back to work. Forgetting what she had seen last night, the Princess’s stunning naked body still etched in her mind.
“Morning Erin,” called Jess, busying around everyone. “Be ready for 11am departure, you have the schedule, yes?”
“Yes, got it, thanks Jess. I’ll be ready.”
