by Karin Baine
Georgiana got up, wanting to escape any further humiliation, but Ed was there before her, blocking her exit.
Before she could dodge around him and bolt for the door, Ed was cradling her face in his hands, smiling at her. ‘Stop talking.’
This time she did as she was told and let him kiss her as if he meant it. As if he’d been holding back the first time and now he was letting the bubbling well of desire come to a boil. His arms were locked around her now, holding her tight to him as his mouth found hers again and again. Hard and insistent. Soft and tender. Sending her mind and body into a whirl.
She melted against him, let him fold her into his strong frame like the delicate princess she was supposed to be. Except princesses weren’t supposed to be trying to rip a man’s clothes off, desperate for him to remind her what it was to be desirable.
* * *
Ed groaned as Georgiana untucked his shirt from his trousers and slid her hand under the fabric. Searching hands found their way confidently across his abdomen. He sucked in a shallow breath at the intimate touch. It had been some time since he’d last engaged in this kind of fevered display. It felt good. He hadn’t been sure that she was attracted to him in any way, yet her playful tongue in his mouth, her apparent determination to strip him of his clothes would suggest differently.
Deep down Ed wondered if she was searching for affirmation she was still attractive when she was so hung up about her altered appearance. In satisfying her craving for male interest, he might’ve been anyone. For him, though, this moment would only have happened because of the strong, courageous person he knew her to be. From the moment he’d seen her pounding the treadmill, defying those who’d tried to steal her independence, her life and her femininity, he’d been lost. There was nothing he wanted more than to clear the contents of his desk onto the floor and take her right here, right now, but that would cause more damage than satisfaction.
An ill-advised tryst would endanger everything they were working towards. Getting in deeper with Georgiana could only end in tears for a multitude of reasons. For a start she was a princess and he, for the want of a better word, was a commoner. It would cause the sort of scandal she wanted to avoid. She was also vulnerable, not in the right head space for romantic involvement. He’d be taking advantage to continue this. With all their plans, they were going to be spending a lot of time together and there was no room for tension between them. Which was bound to happen when he had so many other commitments. History had told him so. He’d been here before, only this time they were both loners. Making a future together as a couple was impossible.
Yet it was hard to put a stop to something he was enjoying so much. Hard being the operative word.
‘Georgiana...we...need...to...stop...before...this...goes...any further,’ he said in between passionate kisses. He slipped a hand around her waist, pulled her in for one last, long, lingering lip lock before letting go and stepping back, breathless and wanting.
‘Whoa.’ He had to hold onto the edge of the desk until he got his bearings again, the adrenaline rush of having her in his arms and subsequently letting go knocking him off kilter.
‘What? What’s wrong?’ Her dilated pupils and kiss-swollen lips only increased his level of guilt because he still wanted to kiss her.
He should’ve shut this thing down instead of selfishly prolonging it for his satisfaction. It took all his resolve not to oblige her sweet mouth begging for more.
‘Nothing’s wrong, it’s all so very right,’ he said regretfully, ‘but that’s not why we’re here.’
‘Right,’ she said, blinking furiously, trying to focus.
‘Neither of us is in a position to start something. You’re going through a lot of life changes and, as I’ve told you, my home situation is already demanding. It isn’t a good idea.’ He didn’t want anything to compromise the work they’d been trying to do together. Georgiana was helping him so much with the gala, then there was the possibility of her working at the clinic. His libido couldn’t be his motivating factor when an inevitable break-up would impact on all areas of his working life. There was no way he’d jeopardise the futures of his patients just so he could have some fun.
‘It’s no big deal. Just a kiss. It doesn’t have to mean anything and it certainly shouldn’t impact on our plans here. Let’s never speak of it again.’ She was trying to make light of it but her eyes held that sadness that came from rejection.
It was difficult to ignore what had happened when he was buttoning his shirt and tucking it back into his trousers, his skin scorched where Georgiana had sought him.
‘It’ll probably take a few days before I can report back on those veteran guests we talked about. I’ll get back to you with details when I can.’ She was letting him know she’d be out of bounds for a while, which wasn’t a bad thing considering what they’d been up to. At least with some space they might be able to forget it, put it down to a lapse in judgement and leave it in the past.
If only he could forget how she tasted on his lips, felt in his arms and set him on fire everywhere she’d touched him.
‘Let’s get you home.’
Out of my office, out of my head and out of temptation’s way.
CHAPTER EIGHT
‘I’D LIKE TO talk to you about something.’ Missing the company she’d had at the clinic, Georgiana had taken to sitting with her parents in the evening. Ed had put their nocturnal activities on hold under the guise that he needed to finalise arrangements for the gala dinner. It was probably for the best when there could be no future for them together and she didn’t want to spoil the relationship they already had.
Since the incident in his office they’d been careful not to be alone together. As agreed, they hadn’t referred to it again. It didn’t mean his lips weren’t still imprinted on hers or that her brain would let her forget how incredibly hot it had been when he’d kissed her.
‘Of course.’ Her mother set aside the book she’d been reading and gave Georgiana her full attention. She was out of her sick bed now, a little delicate but well enough to get around indoors at least.
Georgiana cleared her throat, anxiety having taken up residence there and threatening to block her airways. In talking to Ed about his family, telling him to reach out for help, she’d have to do the same. To move on she was going to have to confront the past. With her parents. Asking them to acknowledge their mistakes in order to help her.
‘I’ve been sneaking off to Mr Lawrence’s clinic to use the gym equipment there.’ She thought honesty was the best way to begin.
‘Oh.’ Her mother formed a perfect ‘O’ with her lips.
‘I hope that’s all you’ve been doing.’ Her father was frowning at her from his armchair, his newspaper now abandoned on his lap.
This conversation had been easier in her head when she’d been rehearsing it.
Georgiana swallowed hard as illicit images flashed guiltily into her mind of the other thing she’d got up to with Ed at the clinic. ‘Not all, no.’
‘We don’t need any scandal.’ He scowled at her, his reaction making her all the more eager to have this conversation.
‘Everything’s entirely above board. I’ve been helping him out with a patient, that’s all, but it has made me think about everything that’s happened since my surgery.’ She was building up to say things she’d been holding inside for years. The air in the lounge was thick with anticipation, as though the very walls of the palace were waiting for her to speak her truth. Her parents were silent, listening for whatever she had to say. The clock on the mantelpiece behind her ticked away the seconds and the fire crackled and spat in the hearth, urging her to get a move on.
‘We’re very proud of you, my dear. Everything you’ve achieved since coming home is, quite frankly, remarkable.’ It was unexpected praise from her father, not known for outbursts of sentimentality, but it wasn’t what this was about.
<
br /> ‘That’s the first time you’ve said that to me.’
‘I’m sure it’s not, Georgiana. We are astounded by the progress you’ve made.’ Her mother chimed in but the praise was offset by the cast-upon look on her face. As though she were the one who’d been wronged.
‘But you’ve never said it. That’s my point. We haven’t actually sat down and had a conversation about how this affects us.’
‘I think we’re managing fine. You’re back on your feet and, with Mr Lawrence’s help, I’m sure you’ll fully recover.’
‘No, Mother, I’m never going to fully recover. My leg isn’t going to grow back, is it?’
‘Don’t be facetious, dear.’ Her mother sniffed.
‘I’m serious. It’s gone and I’ll have to wear a prosthetic leg for the rest of my life. There’s no point in pretending otherwise. We have to accept that or at least acknowledge it.’
‘There’s no need for that, Georgiana. We know perfectly well—’
‘Then for goodness’ sake talk about it.’ She cut off her father’s scolding, years of pent-up emotions breaching all notion of civility. ‘I had to hear it from Ed that you were concerned about me enough to ask him to intervene. Why not come to me and ask me what I need from you instead of going behind my back?’ Georgiana hadn’t realised how much it had hurt to hear that until just now. All that time she’d been here believing she was all alone in her recovery, her parents had kept up that façade of cold indifference to cover their concern. At a time when she’d needed comforting, needed them, more than ever.
Her mother was fidgeting with her hands in her lap, unwilling to meet Georgiana’s eye. ‘You didn’t seem to want us anywhere near you and you’re so strong we knew you’d pull through.’
‘That didn’t mean I didn’t need you to tell me you loved me, that you’d be proud of me no matter what happened.’
‘It goes without saying, Georgiana.’ Her father wasn’t any better at understanding her point than her mother.
‘No, it doesn’t. Did you ever say that to Freddie? No. None of us did. He took it as confirmation we were ashamed of him and his sexuality. To the point he believed we wouldn’t miss him if he took his own life.’
‘It’s not our way to be demonstrative with our feelings. You know what’s expected of us, and you, in our position. Blaming us for whatever was going on in poor Freddie’s troubled mind isn’t going to bring him back.’ Her mother was dabbing at her eyes now. Lord forbid she’d be seen shedding a tear over the son she’d lost. Georgiana was beginning to think she was fighting a losing battle instead of making reparations with her parents.
‘What’s more important to you? Keeping up appearances or your family? You’ve already lost a son because you wouldn’t face up to reality. Freddie was gay and he killed himself because he knew you could never accept it. There, I’ve said it.’ She was breathless as the words poured out of her on a tide of emotion. These were things that should have been dealt with long ago but she was as guilty of hiding from the truth as they were, when she’d joined the army and left the country rather than face this.
‘I know, I know.’ Her mother was openly weeping now and Georgiana’s father went to comfort her.
‘The loss of your brother was unbearable, Georgiana, and we didn’t see the point in dragging his name through the mud by releasing the details. It didn’t mean we were ashamed of him. We wished we’d done more for him, been more, but regret won’t change history. Your mother has been worried sick over you too, aware that you’re pushing us away. Tell us what we can do so we don’t lose you too.’ The plea from her father was more than she’d expected when she’d opened this dialogue, but she hoped it was the beginning of the healing process for all of them.
‘This. Being honest with me. This is the first time you’ve acknowledged what happened to Freddie.’ A huge weight lifted from her so she no longer felt that chest-crushing pain every time she thought of her brother and the betrayal they’d unknowingly taken part in.
‘I think about it every day. I don’t want to lose you, Georgiana. This will have to work two ways. You need to tell us how you feel. How we can help. It’s going to be a learning curve for us.’ The words coming from her mother’s lips were everything she’d wanted to hear for so long and her father was nodding his head in agreement with every word. It was going to take time to build the sort of relationship most people had with their families but time she had. They owed it to Freddie to make this work.
‘For me too. I’m making a lot of changes. I’m going to take advantage of the second chance I’ve been given at life. Freddie never got one.’
‘We let you both down. Instead of trying to mould you into the people we thought you needed to be, we should have let you be the amazing people you are. I’m sorry we realised that too late for Freddie.’ Her mother was sobbing now.
‘I’m sure he knew you loved him in your own way.’ They’d all made mistakes, none of which could be rectified now. All they could do was hold their hands up and move on. Something her parents were apparently willing to do.
‘Our thinking and parenting came with the vision of what we should be as role models. Not what our children needed from us.’
Georgiana understood what her father was saying and realised they’d tried to be supportive even if they hadn’t always known how to demonstrate that.
‘I appreciate everything you’ve tried to do for my recovery here. It’s really what set me on this path, helping out with the gala and thinking about my future again.’ Along with the introduction her mother had engineered between her and Ed. Not that Georgiana was going to give her credit for opening up her heart again when there was every chance it would get battered the next time she met him.
‘It’s an amazing thing you’re doing, helping those children.’
‘Thank you, Father. It’s not all my doing. Ed... I mean, Mr Lawrence is the one who put it all into motion.’
Despite promises to herself, her feelings for him hadn’t diminished since she’d taken some time out from him. She’d justified the break in face-to-face conversation by telling herself she’d confused friendship and compassion for something more. Except she couldn’t get him out of her head.
When it came to helping people, he was always first in the queue. A man who could be relied upon to do the right thing. That was exactly why he’d put an end to the fabulous kissing, regardless of how hot and bothered they’d been. They had to put the charity and the clinic before their own wanton needs. Unfortunately.
Now the gala dinner was only a matter of days away she would have to see him again, along with the rest of the world. The publicity was a necessary evil to get the charity off the ground, but she was willing to sacrifice her vanity for the future of their patients.
‘You and the doctor seem to be close these days,’ her mother said nonchalantly, not fooling Georgiana for a second that she wasn’t interested in anything that might be going on.
‘You know he’s been opening the clinic for me at night and we’ve had stuff to sort out for the charity.’ Georgiana brushed off any insinuation there was something more than professional interest there, but she was finding it impossible to maintain eye contact with the lie.
‘He’s a good man, I’m told. Very honourable.’ That had to have come from her mother for her father to talk about someone he’d never met in such glowing terms.
‘Yes, I’m sure it wouldn’t have been his idea to sneak you out of here like a thief in the middle of the night.’ Her mother’s accusation was directed at her.
‘Actually, it was a joint enterprise.’ Ed had been the first to suggest sneaking her out, but she’d followed up on the idea. They’d both been complicit. It made her laugh to think of the absurd picture their exploits would have made to a spectator. At the time her freedom was everything and Ed had gone along with it all. Who knew what it would’ve cost him if anyt
hing had gone wrong? Yet he’d done everything she’d asked of him. Whatever it took to make her comfortable in a world she thought she no longer knew. He’d been her rock and she was missing him dearly when she’d been so enjoying their time together.
‘My rebellious daughter.’ Her father chuckled.
The build-up to the gala was exciting but also terrifying. It was going to be her big reveal to the country and she wanted Ed by her side for that. She could get through it on her own—she was strong enough to do anything after all she’d survived. The difference was she wanted him there with her. Everything was better when he was around.
‘Is Edward escorting you to the gala, dear?’ Again, her mother’s astuteness astounded her. She wondered if this was a recent thing now her parents had decided to try harder to be involved in her life or something they’d both chosen to ignore until now.
‘He’ll be there. We haven’t discussed the logistics of it yet.’ Since it was being held in her family home, she wouldn’t have to make a dramatic entrance. Therefore, she was under no pressure to have a plus one as she arrived at the event. Something she knew would’ve been under scrutiny and a strain on whatever fragile relationship they had left, if at all.
‘Don’t you think you should? It’s only a matter of days away. You can’t simply leave these things to chance. Have you even spoken to a stylist about dressing you for the occasion? You want to make a good impression.’
Georgiana read that as, ‘You’ll want something to detract from the ugly fake leg.’
‘I’ve chosen my own outfit. I promise I won’t embarrass you. This is too important to me.’
‘We know. Be true to yourself, that’s all we want for you.’ Her father retrieved his tumbler of whisky from the mantelpiece and raised it in her honour.
Georgiana frowned. ‘Okay, who are you and what have you done with my real parents?’
