Edge Of Retaliation : Books 1-3

by Bella Jewel

  I don’t know how facing Tanner is going to feel.

  I don’t know if I can keep my anger in check.

  I don’t know anything.

  All I know is I have to go in there. I have to figure this out. I have to get my answers.

  I bang on the door.

  It takes a moment but, eventually, it opens, and Tatum appears. He looks down at me, and for the first time, I see something different in his eyes. Of course it has been there all along, I just didn’t notice it before. This time, it’s there, loud and clear. So damned obvious I feel like a fool for not having noticed it before.

  It’s the look of secrets and lies. It’s a look that says he knows me. He knows what I’ve done. He knows who I am. He knows what’s happening to me. He knows everything.

  There’s something else there, too.

  I’d almost say guilt, but it flashes past so quickly it’s hard to pick out.

  What would Tatum have to be guilty about?

  “Callie, how are you?” he asks, putting on a smile that I know now is so damned fake.

  I want to wipe it off his face. Instead, I force a smile of my own, and say, “I’m well, Tatum, and you?”

  He nods. “Good good. How’s Jo?”

  Jo.

  He won’t be getting anywhere near my Jo.

  “She’s good.”

  He pushes the door open and says, “Tanner is in his room. Go in, he’s expecting you.”

  I smile and walk into the house, I can hear chatter and laughter coming from out back and I’m guessing all the other guys are here, too. Do they all know about Celia? About me? Or is it just Tatum and Tanner? Am I being made to look like a fool in front of all of them?

  My anger bubbles again, but I shove it down as I walk to Tanner’s room.

  I can’t let him see it.

  I have too much to find out first.

  When I reach his room, I push open the door and find him on the ground doing push ups. He’s shirtless and his hard body ripples as he lifts himself up and down with ease. He’s covered in a fine layer of sweat and he looks like a god. That makes me hate him even more because my damned body hasn’t caught up on the fact that we don’t like him yet.

  Damn you, body.

  He’s horrible.

  Turn yourself off. Immediately.

  I stare for a few moments before clearing my throat to let him know I’m here. He turns, and his eyes lock onto mine. My heart does a funny little flip, and I hate it, I hate that I still feel that when I look at him.

  “Hi,” I say, raising a hand in a lame wave.

  He pushes up from the floor and stands, panting, huge chest rising and falling. It takes every ounce of willpower I have in my body to not look, to keep my eyes focused on his and nothing more.

  “Callie,” he murmurs, “didn’t realize the time, sorry.”

  He’s talking to me all professional, and correct, which tells me whatever news he’s about to deliver to me isn’t good. It’s better that way anyway. I want him to tell me he can’t be with me, I want him to leave, then I don’t have to worry about the pain that comes along with seeing him, with standing here in front of him feeling like my heart is going to explode.

  It would be for the best.

  “That’s okay,” I say. “I don’t have long so ...”

  That’s a lie, I could be here all night if I wanted.

  I just don’t.

  “Sit.”

  He points to the sofa in his room and I walk over, tossing a few of his shirts off and sitting, watching as he uses a towel to dry himself off and then he sits across from me. For a moment, we just stare at each other. I have no doubt he’s trying to figure out how to say whatever it is he has to say, and I’m thinking that I’m staring at a man who has known all along who I am.

  I’m staring at a monster.

  A cold monster.

  My heart hardens, just a little, and I’m grateful for it.

  It’s so much easier that way.

  “I know I haven’t called you, or text. I apologize for that. What you told me, it threw me, in more ways than you can possibly realize. I don’t know what to make of the information you shared with me.”

  I can’t believe he’s sitting in front of me actually acting like what I told him shocked him.

  He knows.

  He knows better than anyone.

  What I said was not a shock.

  “I told you the truth,” I say, my voice monotone and flat. “I told you my truth. I don’t care if you believe it or not, I simply needed to be honest with you.”

  He studies me. “Yeah.”

  He doesn’t believe me.

  There is still that flicker of doubt in his eyes, like he thinks I’m the crazy one, like he believes I’m the one still trying to make my story real. He doesn’t believe me. I know he doesn’t believe me. I’ve known that from the moment I found out what him and his little twisted family have been doing. They think I’m still sticking with the story I maintained right from the start, and I’d bet they’re hoping to change my mind and have me confess to what they think really happened.

  It’ll never happen.

  Because their story isn’t the truth.

  “I didn’t come here to plead my case,” I say, standing. “If you’re not interested in speaking with me further, that’s fine. I don’t have to give you an explanation.”

  He stands, too. He studies me, those eyes penetrating deep. For a moment, I’m sure I see a flicker of doubt in his eyes. Did my story get to him? Did he stop and think, even for a second, that maybe I am right? That maybe Celia did have reason to end her life? That maybe he and his family have had it wrong all this time?

  “I’m confused, as you can imagine,” he murmurs. “We all saw the news. We all know what happened to that girl. You went to prison, Callie. You were convicted for her crime. You can understand why I find it hard to believe your version of events.”

  He’s speaking to me in a manner that a lawyer would speak to their client. All emotion blocked off. He’s saying only what he has to say and nothing more. It makes me feel ... pathetic. Like I’m facing it all over again, like I’m having to explain myself, even when nobody believes me.

  “I don’t care what you believe, I don’t care what the rest of the world believes. I was there that night. I drove that car. I relive that moment every single day before I close my eyes. I remember the way it felt, the sounds, hell, even the smells. I know I was in the wrong, because I wasn’t watching the road, but she was not crossing. She was not already in front of my car when I looked up. She stepped out.”

  I take my purse and turn, walking toward the door.

  “What do you suppose her family thinks of your story?”

  His voice is rough, rugged, and it shocks me.

  I turn and face him, my eyes welling with tears. “I think they believe what they want to believe, because they’re too damned afraid to dig further. If they did, maybe they’d find the real story instead of the story they find easier to believe.”

  Tanner’s face registers a mix of shock and confusion.

  Before he can say another word. I leave.

  It’s time for me to finish this.

  4

  “Callie!”

  I stop, my hand on the doorknob, my fingers trembling, my eyes burning with unshed tears.

  I turn slowly to see Andrea waving to me from the kitchen.

  I didn’t look. I didn’t stop. I didn’t want to see anyone when I left Tanner’s room.

  I just want to get out of this house.

  Out of these lies.

  Out of this trap I walked myself into.

  I meet Andrea’s eyes, and I try to keep it together. I take a deep shaky breath and force the fakest smile I’ve ever had to present. “Andrea, hey, I didn’t know you were here.”

  “I didn’t know you were here, either. How are you? Are you feeling any better?”

  It’s safe to say, I haven’t been to work. I had been planning
on going back this week, but I’m still finding it incredibly hard to deal with everything happening. Keeping a straight face, holding myself together—it’s proving to be harder and harder with every passing day.

  “I am, actually. I’ll be back at work tomorrow.”

  The words come out before I can stop them.

  I inwardly kick myself.

  Andrea nods, and then smiles. “That’s great, but no rush. As long as you’re feeling better.”

  She’s so nice to me.

  So damned nice.

  I would have never picked the monster that hid deep within her depths.

  I would have never picked any of them for being anything but good people.

  My heart aches and I nod, telling her, “I have to get going. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  I hear Tanner’s door close, and I disappear before he sees that I’m still here. It’s bad enough getting questioned by him, let alone risking getting questioned by all of them.

  I reach my car but pause when I go to unlock it. They’re all in that house. No doubt talking about me. I could go back, listen, find out what it is they’re planning on doing. I don’t know why I didn’t think of spying on them a whole lot earlier. Probably because I’m still in shock. I turn and glance back at the house. It’s a risk, no doubt. They could hear me, and I’d have to explain.

  Still, it’s a risk I’m willing to take.

  It’s not often they’d all be in the same house, at the same time, talking about me.

  I walk back toward the house and duck to the left, using a row of trees to shelter myself. I move toward the living room window, which I’m praying is open. I’m also praying I can hear them through it because the kitchen window is around the back and I can’t go around there with the other guys sitting out there.

  I walk carefully, placing my feet down slowly so I don’t make any sounds. I reach the living room window and carefully peer through it. It’s open, only a little, and the curtain is mostly across so I can’t see anything, but I can hear them. Rather clearly, in fact. I tip my head to the side and lean in, listening.

  “We don’t have time to be questioning this, Andrea,” Tanner growls. “We don’t have time for doubts.”

  “You’re right, we don’t, but what if she’s telling the truth? What if that poor girl is innocent and we’re tormenting her?”

  Andrea is defending me.

  My heart softens toward her just a little bit.

  “We went through everything,” Tanner says. “We looked at everything, we talked to everyone, Celia wasn’t depressed. She wasn’t. I knew my sister, dammit, and she wasn’t fuckin’ depressed. That girl is lying, and she’s a believable liar. I’ve had my own moments of hesitation, but I can’t go softening now. Celia is gone. She’s fuckin’ dead.”

  My heart pounds against my ribcage, hurt gripping my belly. It hurts to hear the pain in Tanner’s voice. I clench my eyes shut and take a deep, ragged breath.

  “It’s all good, bro,” Tatum’s voice enters the equation. “We’re on your side here. We’re with you. We’ll get her to admit what she did. She will pay for what she did to Celia.”

  Pay?

  Like I haven’t paid enough already?

  “Don’t you think she’s already suffered enough? She went to prison for six years! She didn’t have an easy time in there, you all know that. Ethan kept you updated on her progress,” Andrea says.

  Ethan.

  God damn him.

  My heart breaks, and the tears threaten to burst forth again.

  “Don’t fuckin’ mention Ethan’s name here,” Tanner barks. “He softened toward that girl. He let me down. He doesn’t get a fuckin’ mention.”

  Wait? What? Ethan isn’t in on this anymore?

  I don’t understand.

  I’m so fucking confused.

  “As for her paying for what she did,” Tanner goes on, “she didn’t pay for it. Her choices killed our sister in the most fuckin’ horrific way.”

  “She was young,” Andrea exhales. “She made a mistake. Even if her story isn’t true, she still didn’t mean to harm Celia.”

  “If she wasn’t out there, drinkin’ in that car that she stole, not payin’ attention to the road, our sister would be alive. She would be fuckin’ alive, and I wouldn’t have to be livin’ through this.”

  “I know you and Celia were close, Tanner, but your guilt is clouding your judgement. You’re letting your hurt rule.”

  “I’m not fuckin’ guilty for anything,” Tanner barks. “You fuckin’ know nothin’, Andrea. You didn’t even know Celia the way I did.”

  Dead silence for a moment, then Andrea’s voice comes through as an angry hiss.

  “Tell yourself whatever you want, Tanner. You can deny it, but you have doubt. You want so badly for her story to be false, because if it’s true, it means you didn’t know Celia as well as you thought. It means your little bond wasn’t as strong as you thought. It means you let her down, because you didn’t help her when she needed it. It’s easier to blame Callie than it is to accept you were in a shitty place at the time and you let your sister down.”

  Oh.

  God.

  “Get the fuck out!” Tanner barks. “Get the fuck out of my house!”

  I turn and run before Andrea walks out of the house. I stumble over a few bushes, cursing under my breath. I reach my car, open it and get in. I start it and drive off, still pulling my seatbelt on as I go. I don’t know if anyone saw me, but I couldn’t risk being out there when Andrea stormed out of that house.

  My mind spins as I navigate the streets to our apartment.

  The first thing that’s getting to me is Andrea.

  She’s not one-hundred-percent on board. Neither is Ethan. Which tells me they’ve gotten to know me and maybe considered that I’m not the monster they’ve painted in their heads. That gives me hope, a glimmer of light during a dark time. Maybe I can change their minds, maybe, just maybe, I can make this better.

  Then, I think of Tanner.

  His bond with Celia is one I don’t understand. I didn’t realize the two were so close. They had quite an age gap, and it makes me wonder what happened in their lives for him to feel so protective of her. He speaks as if he’s her father, as if he had some sort of responsibility for her.

  Oh, Celia.

  I’d do anything to talk to you.

  Anything in this world to get the answers I seek so desperately.

  You hold the key to everything.

  “SO, SOMETHING WAS GOING on between Celia and Chase?” Jo asks as we walk toward the café the next morning.

  She’s coming in to have coffee with me, but mostly I think she’s making sure nothing happens to me on my first day back at work. She’s worried, and I understand why. It’s confusing, it’s messy, and neither of us has any idea what exactly it is they’re planning to do or not do. Everything is up in the air, and it isn’t a nice feeling.

  “Yeah,” I answer her question as we cross the road. The sun shines down on my skin, warming me, reminding me of how much I adore its presence. Cars whizz by, everyone in a rush to go to work. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the sound of being in the hustle and bustle of a city. It’s the little things you miss when you don’t see them every day. “I found some emails on her laptop from Chase. Something about a HIV test. He kept saying how sorry he was, and how he wanted to help her. I couldn’t find anything else, though. She had deleted everything except those.”

  “Do you think he sent them after the accident?” Jo asks, stopping and turning to me when we reach the sidewalk.

  “No, I don’t think so. Nothing is making sense to me right now. Amber said that Celia was frantic because Chase disappeared a few days before she died. Nobody knew where he was. In the emails, though, he was frantic because she wasn’t talking to him. I’m missing something, but I don’t know exactly what it is I’m missing. I feel like I’ve reached a dead end again.”

  “Maybe Amber didn’t have her story co
rrect?” Jo suggests.

  “I thought that, too, but she was adamant that Celia was upset about Chase not being around, and nobody could find him.”

  “He could have sent the emails and freaked out when Celia didn’t reply. Maybe he was scared of something or someone and disappeared, then Celia got wind that he had left and freaked out? It’s possible. Whatever went down between the two of them, it was intense, and it was horrible. I wish we had more information to follow. I almost need answers now as much as you do,” Jo mutters.

  “I do have something interesting, but it isn’t enough to give me a clear answer on things. His yearbook and everything else we found had Chase Wick, but the emails he sent to Celia had Chase Redford. I’m not sure which is his real last name, but that name did seem familiar somehow ...”

  Jo tilts her head to the side, and then murmurs, “Tatum Redford.”

  I blink. “Tatum, as in Tanner’s best friend Tatum?”

  “Yeah, that’s his last name.”

  I shake my head. “Wait, Tatum is Chase’s older brother?”

  Jo shrugs. “I mean, it’s possible, right? Do you think Tatum knows where Chase is?”

  I rub my face. “This just got complicated. What if Tatum knows what Chase did, and he has been hiding it from Tanner this whole time? What if he is pushing Tanner to keep at me because he doesn’t want him finding out that my story is in fact true?”

  “Wait, Tatum is pushing Tanner?”

  “Last night, when I was listening, he was pushing Tanner a little, yeah. Like he didn’t want him to back off just because Andrea was having doubts. He wanted him to keep doing whatever it is they have planned.”

  Jo frowns. “Tatum seems like such a good guy. Do you honestly think he would keep something like that from Tanner?”

  “If it meant protecting his family, yeah. I mean, if Chase is his brother, it would make sense. Maybe he helped him disappear and cover things up. Maybe he knows and has known all along.”

  Jo shakes her head. “You’re right, this is getting too complicated. We need to find out what Tatum knows.”

  “How the hell are we going to do that?” I ask her. “We can hardly tell him what we know and then just expect him to tell us everything. He’s likely protecting something that would blow up his and Tanner’s friendship forever, possibly worse. If he’s hidden it, he’s hidden it well.”