by Lynn Stevens
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
We hung up a few minutes later, and I felt a weight lift off me that I hadn’t known was there.
I’d mended that friendship. It was time to go find my happy.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Maybe it was because of a lack of sleep. Maybe it was stress. Maybe it was the one thing I always relied on: stupidity. I showered, dressed, and headed to Aiden’s house. It was still too early to be out and about, but I didn’t care. I needed to talk to him. I needed to clear the air between us.
The house was dark, but I knew where his room was. I snuck around the side and tapped on the window. The curtains pulled back almost instantly, and Aiden’s soft hazel gaze turned hard when he recognized me. He shook his head then pointed toward the lake. I strode around the house, picking through the brush on the edge of the small wood that lined the lake and walked with purpose to the end of the dock.
“What are you doing here, Miranda?” Aiden asked as he came up behind me. He had on his Mountain View Resort polo and khaki shorts. It looked good on him. Anything looked good on him. I was such an idiot.
“I’m sorry,” I said, hoping that would be the best way to start this conversation.
Aiden held up his hand. “Of course you are. You’re always sorry.”
I laughed harshly because it was true. All my life, I kept apologizing even when there wasn’t a reason. It was like those words shot out of my mouth automatically. “I’m not sorry then. I have nothing to be sorry for.”
“Bullshit.” His anger rose and his face turned a soft red. “Your lips were swollen. Your clothes were a mess. I get it now. I thought you might see me and forget about him, but you’re never going to forget about him even if he doesn’t give one shit about you. Eddie Blake shows up and you spread your legs. So don’t lie to me.”
I didn’t lie. I slapped him instead. And it felt great. I was done with guys talking to me like I was no more than a fuck buddy. Like I wasn’t good for anything other than a place to put their dicks. “You’re wrong. I didn’t fuck Eddie at the theater, Aiden. He came to me and wanted to stay here, wanted to make us a real couple. I told him to go to Georgia. Did I kiss him? Yeah, I kissed him goodbye. That. Was. It. So don’t patronize me. Don’t treat me like I’m some whore who doesn’t make her own decisions.” I stepped closer, jabbing my finger into his chest. “I chose you. I wanted to be with you. While I made some mistakes, you never trusted me. You never gave me a chance to explain. I’m here to give myself that chance. And you still won’t listen.”
“Why did you kiss him then? And don’t tell me you didn’t. Your lips were swollen, and I’d seen it enough to know how damn… how you look after,” he demanded.
“I wouldn’t lie to you. I don’t know why I did it,” I answered honestly. “I think it was my way of proving to myself that I was finally, truly over him.”
“But you’re not.” Aiden stepped back, walking up the dock until he was far enough away. “I wanted too much from you. You weren’t ready.”
“I am now,” I said, knowing he was too far away to hear me.
He stopped walking and just stared at me. “I’m leaving today. As soon as I get off work, I’m going back to Houston. I can’t stay around here anymore. Good luck, Miranda. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
My lips stayed firmly closed as I watched him walk away. When he was out of sight, my legs gave out. I sat in the middle of the King’s dock, feeling numb. I’d thought Eddie had broken my heart before. That was nothing compared to how this felt. I stared at the steps he’d climbed, just waiting. He didn’t come back.
I crawled into my bed and collapsed. There wasn’t any reason to cry. I wasn’t sure if I had any tears left in me. The last twenty-four hours had been enough drama to last a lifetime. I didn’t want to do anything but sleep the rest of my life away.
That’s when it hit me. Really hit me.
I took those sleeping pills on purpose. It wasn’t a conscious effort, but I really tried to stay in that perfect moment with Eddie. I sat up and texted Dr. Hale.
Ten minutes later, she was on my screen, looking just as exhausted as I felt.
“You look like hell, Miranda.” She smiled then sipped from a mug. I knew she favored tea over coffee. “Talk to me.”
I took a deep breath. “I think I meant to take those pills.”
Dr. Hale raised her eyebrows. “Why do you think that?”
“I just had a really bad night, and I was trying to fall asleep just now and all I wanted to do was sleep the night away. And that’s when I remembered. I wanted to fall asleep in Eddie’s arms and stay with him forever.” I swallowed hard. “Why did I want that? I don’t understand.”
“Are you ready to go back to that night?” she asked gently.
Dr. Hale had been trying to get me to recall every detail from that night, but I just wasn’t ready. I wasn’t sure this would be any different, but this time I was willing to try. I nodded.
“Good. Now close your eyes. Start with what you were doing before Eddie came over,” she said, keeping her voice low and even. I did as she told me. “Now visualize that night.”
“Mom and Dad left for a dinner. They were going to a friend’s house in Kimberling City. They wouldn’t be home until late. I grabbed my phone and texted Eddie that the coast was clear if he wanted to come over.” My breath hitched in my throat.
“What was his response?” Dr. Hale prodded. Her voice so soft that I almost didn’t hear her.
“He said later. That was it. I texted him back, reminding him we didn’t have all night. Oh god.” I fought the bile rising in my throat. “He said he didn’t need all night. Why did I even think he cared?”
“Don’t ruminate, Miranda. You can’t change what happened, only accept it.”
I nodded, but I couldn’t stop that feeling of not being good enough. “I took a long shower to kill time. I stared at myself in the mirror, wondering why I wasn’t good enough. Then I put on a skimpy tank and shorts and went downstairs and took Mom’s margarita mix from the fridge. She didn’t drink it very often, so I knew she wouldn’t notice if some of it was gone. I poured a tall glass, then sat the family room. He hadn’t texted or called. It had been over an hour and a half. Mom and Dad would be home by midnight at the latest and it was almost eight.” I paused and shook my head. “Why wasn’t he there? We’d made plans.”
“Stay in the moment.”
“I turned on the TV and watched most an old 90s movie when he showed up. He hadn’t knocked. He walked in just like he did when he was eight.” I smiled at that memory. Eddie always had confidence. “He slid his hands under my tank and grabbed my boobs. I looked up at him, and he kissed me. Everything felt right in that moment. He kept … touching me and kissing me. I loved it. I wanted more. Whenever I was with him, I always wanted more. If I gave him everything, he’d love me.”
I took another deep inhalation, trying not to let my feelings take over.
“He removed his hands and pulled away. ‘Let’s go upstairs,’ he’d said. I stood and followed up to my room. He plopped down on the bed, pulling me on top of him. He told me this was all we’d have together. He wanted it to be perfect. One last perfect moment together.”
“And you had sex,” Dr. Hale said quietly.
“Yes. He fell asleep when we were done. I just stared at him. I never wanted him to leave me. I never wanted that moment where we were both happy and peaceful to disappear. I wanted Mom and Dad to catch us.” I inhaled sharply. “Oh god, I wanted them to catch us together so they would insist we get married. Why would I want that? People don’t do that anymore. But I knew he wouldn’t stay with me. His phone buzzed and I picked it up off the floor.” The image seared back into my memory. “It was a girl in our class, and she was naked with her fingers… Jesus, I didn’t need to see that. I didn’t want to see that. How could he make love to me but fuck other girls?
“I needed sleep. I took a pill. Then another. Then I kept
taking them. I kept swallowing them even as I felt sleepy. Eddie woke up, and I dropped the almost empty bottle on him. I remember hearing him say my name. Then I woke up in the hospital.”
“How does that make you feel now?” Dr. Hale asked gently. “Not then, but now.”
I opened my eyes and stared at her. “Like an idiot. I almost threw my life away. Why was I obsessed with him?”
“When you were kids, Eddie was always around. How did you feel when you were eight? Ten?”
I smiled at those memories. “We had fun together. It was freeing. I could tell him anything.”
“And your other friends? Iris? Cameron? Lily?” She pushed gently.
“Lily knows everything. Iris and Cami, they wouldn’t understand.” I glanced at a picture of my former best friends. The three of us were inseparable, but they didn’t know everything about me. Lily did. She wanted to know, so I told her.
“Miranda, you’ve had a major breakthrough today. And you look exhausted. Is there anything else you want to talk about?” She lifted her mug. “I’m here for you.”
I unburdened myself about Aiden, the theater, and Eddie’s leaving. We talked for another hour, and I held nothing back from her. When we ended the emergency session, guilt weighed me down. It was like I’d been holding this boulder to keep from feeling it all. Now that I let it out, it hurt. And it didn’t. When I’d jumped in the lake and sunk to the bottom, I knew someone would save me. Deep down, I knew I wasn’t going to die. When I took those pills, I wanted to hold on to that one moment and live in it forever.
The weight pushed me into a deep sleep, and I didn’t wake up until forced.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Carly banged around in my room, not trying to be quiet.
“Do you mind?” I asked, covering my head with my pillow.
She yanked it off my head. “Get up. We have last minute emergency wedding planning. All hands on deck.”
I looked at the time on my phone. “It’s only one. I haven’t been asleep four hours.”
“One in the afternoon! And why haven’t you slept? We got home around eight.” Carly’s eyes creased. “Are you okay?”
“Aiden left. Well, he’s leaving today.” I shrugged because the pain had dulled in my sleep, but I was done crying. “Carly, I need to tell you something, but I’m not sure how.”
She collapsed on my bed. “You’re pregnant.”
“What? No, that’s not it.” I sat straight and stared into her eyes. “I think I … I screwed up. I think the fire really was my fault.”
Emotions exploded on her face, and I caught glimpses of every single one. Anger, sorrow, love, hate, resignation. She schooled her features and blew out a quick breath. Her voice was steel. “Why do you think that?”
“When I went inside to clean the dressing room, Eddie followed me. We talked. He kissed me like he really meant it. I knocked over a lamp. It was on, but I didn’t pick it up.”
“A lamp? That one that looks like it’s been on the vanity since time began?”
I nodded.
Carly’s tension disappeared. “Miranda, that lamp isn’t old. I bought it to torture Gracin.” She smirked. “The light was less than flattering in his opinion. I thought it gave him a Greek god glow.”
“It still could’ve caused the fire.” I swallowed hard. “Do you hate me?”
“No. I don’t think a knocked over lamp could’ve started the fire. Now, come on,” she said, standing and grabbing my arms. She pulled me to my feet. “We have a lot of shit to get done so the wedding happens.”
“What if we don’t? Get it all done, I mean.”
“Oh, it’s happening even if we’re all in our underwear and slippers. I am marrying Gracin Ford in a week. That’s a fact you can count on.” She pulled me into a quick hug. “Dad’s at the theater. We’ll have answers soon. Preliminary answers, but answers.”
“Thanks, sis.”
“Love you, Meerkat,” Carly said then bounced from the room.
I combed my hair, pulling it up into a messy bun. Forgoing makeup, I dressed in shorts and a t-shirt. There wasn’t any reason to try and look cute.
That wasn’t true.
Ten minutes later, I had on the same clothes because Carly mentioned work, but I let my hair down and styled it then added a little mascara, lip gloss, and blush to my face.
I was reason enough.
The resort was out unless Carly and Gracin wanted their wedding it the same place as their reception. The cabins were out, too. There was rain in the forecast. Neither Carly or Gracin wanted to get married in a church. All of the other theaters were booked. We decided to hit the town from both ends.
Gracin and Carly had split off, and I was with Tagg and Chloe. We were getting close to the old downtown area when I saw it.
“Pull over,” I said to Chloe.
Tagg stuck his head between the front seats. “You got something?”
“Maybe.” I pointed to a small parking lot behind an old abandoned building. After Chloe parked, I climbed out. “Come on. This might work.”
I ran to the front of the building. We were far enough off the beaten path, and this old building had been under restoration since I was a kid. Lily and I took a tour of it last October when they opened for Halloween. I smiled. This was perfect.
“What is this place?” Chloe asked as she stood beside me, staring at the gray facade.
“The Miner’s Theatre,” I said with a grin.
“Can I help you kids with something?” a man asked to my right. I turned and flashed him my best smile. “Miss Reynolds, good to see you again. I’m afraid the theater’s not open for tours at the moment.”
“You remember me?” I almost took a literal step back.
He chuckled. “’Course I do. Not many kids your age ask so many questions or stay after to ask more.” He rocked on his heels. Carl Manfred owned the theater and most of the block. He was in his sixties but didn’t look much older than his forties. He loved looking like a farmer in bibs, but also like an oil baron with a crisp white shirt and tie. I liked him the first minute we met. “Now, what brings you back?”
Chloe and Tagg stared at me like they’d never seen me before. Maybe they hadn’t.
“I like history. So sue me.” I turned back to Mr. Manfred. “You heard about Mountain View Theatre?”
He nodded solemnly. “A total loss. Your daddy must be heartbroken.”
You don’t know the half of it. “My sister was supposed to get married there in a week. We’re looking for alternatives. Can you help?”
Mr. Manfred rubbed his chin. “Let’s see if I can.” He pulled out his keys and stepped to the door. “It’s a lot dusty. How many people are coming to the wedding?”
“A lot,” I said, because I really had no idea.
“Around two hundred, maybe two fifty at the most,” Tagg said. Chloe and I turned to him. He shrugged. “I like numbers.”
Chloe linked her arm in his. “Yeah, you do, baby.”
“Ugh, no kissing. I can’t take any mushy stuff right now,” I said as Mr. Manfred laughed.
“As we help plan a wedding. Mushy to the tenth degree,” Chloe said, looping her other arm into mine.
“Kids,” Mr. Manfred muttered, still chuckling.
He opened the door and hurried into the dark to flip on the lights. I wanted to say illumination as they turned on, but the beauty of the lobby took my breath away. This wasn’t like Mountain View’s lobby with its elegant wood and shiny lights. Miner’s Theatre was older, more refined in its beauty. On each side of the lobby were narrow stairs leading to the offices and balcony. The wood was hand-carved with flowers, opera masks, and fruits. It was gaudy, and it was gorgeous. The rug needed a good cleaning, but the navy blue and silver threads were bright with color. The chandelier lit the room in a soft glow. It was art in itself with crystal tear-shapes hanging like a waterfall.
“Oh my god,” Chloe said as she looked around. “This is amazing”
�
��Thank you. I love the old girl. Just wish I could get her open again.” Mr. Manfred shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels. “Think she’ll do? We’d need the permits of course, but I think your daddy could take care of that. The biggest obstacle is the theater isn’t ADA compliant. If he can convince the city to let me open it up to you, I’d be more than happy to rent it out to your family.”
The dust was thick, but I could clean it in a few days. Less if I had help. Polish everything up in another day or two. Yeah, it could be ready just in time. But that was just the lobby. We still needed to see the actual theater, and I said as much to Mr. Manfred. He nodded and led us further inside. It was just as dusty, and I was definitely going to need help. The wood on the arms was dull, and the velvet seats needed steamed. The blue carpeting needed steamed. The stage needed buffed and waxed. The dressing rooms also needed a deep clean, but we didn’t really need those. Carly could get ready at home and arrive by limo. The restrooms functioned and needed a heavy scrub. They were small, and one person could knock those out in half a day.
“We can do this,” I said to no one in particular.
“I don’t know, Miranda,” Chloe said. “This place is perfect, but we don’t have weeks. We have days.”
“Then we’ll need to get to work.” I pulled out my phone and called Carly, telling her where we were. “Once she approves, I’ll start calling everyone I know. It may not be a lot, but I’ll get it cleaned and decorated.”
Mr. Manfred handed me a business card. “This is the service I normally use to clean it, if you want to call in reinforcements.”
“Thank you.” I took the card and smiled. Dad knew the owners. They’d came to the resort to deep clean after a major water pipe broke.
I pointed out the carvings of cherubs around the balcony to Chloe while we waited for Carly and Gracin. Tagg had went to the lobby to lead them inside. It took twenty minutes, but they finally arrived.
