Nurse to Forever Mom

by Susan Carlisle

  “Scoot around this way and I’ll fix it for you,” Stacey offered.

  “I’ll get it.” Cody moved to stand.

  “Stacey can do it.” Lizzy turned her back to Stacey. Cleaning her hands with her napkin, she brought the girl’s hair under control.

  Lizzy twisted around and studied her with unnerving intensity. “You’d be a good mommy.”

  “We already have a mommy,” Jean announced in a flat tone.

  The painful silence was broken when Cody said, “Girls, you need to eat. It’s getting dark.”

  The rest of the meal revolved around finishing it. Done, they all pitched in to clean up.

  Amazed, Stacey watched Cody roll what was left of the meal and any garbage in the paper and throw it on the fire. The rest of the stuff he dropped into the pot, including the empty drink cans. “Best clean-up job I’ve ever seen.”

  Looking pleased with her praise, he confessed, “I’ll admit this is the easiest meal I cook. Jean, Lizzy, grab an armload and head for the house.”

  The girls did as he requested and were soon on their way up the path.

  Stacey picked up the pot. “You’re making great memories for them.” What had made her say or think something like that? She knew nothing about making family memories, especially good ones. There were only a few in her childhood that would even measure up to the worth-remembering mark. Still, it was nice to know that even though the girls didn’t have their mother, they could still have a happy life. Cody was doing all he could to make that happen.

  “I hope so.” He kicked sand over the fire, putting it out and filling the hole.

  They walked in the direction of the house. “I know this is none of my business...” Stacey glanced over her shoulder to judge his reaction to her next words “...but I can’t help wondering what happened with their mother.”

  * * *

  Cody wasn’t surprised Stacey had asked about Rachael. If he had learned anything in the last week it was that Stacey was forthright. She wouldn’t go behind his back and ask others about his life. When there was something she wanted to know she would go to the source and she didn’t beat around the bush.

  That didn’t mean he wanted to talk about Rachael. The subject still left him feeling sick and unsure. Guilt nagged at him when he thought of her. Still, there was something about Stacey that made him want to confide in her. Wanted her to understand him. Why he was the way he was.

  “My ex-wife and I were college sweethearts. We had planned the perfect life together. She’d take care of the home and children and I would be a great surgeon. Give my children what I’d had as a child. A secure home with two parents who loved them. During our senior year she was in a horrible car crash that damaged her ankle and foot. After the initial surgery she went through physical therapy but was still in a lot of pain. There were more surgeries but she finally began to recover. At the end of my med-school years, she walked down the aisle on our wedding day without a limp and I believed that our world had righted itself.”

  He hated to voice this next part out loud. The misery of that time strangled him. “But for a long time she hid a huge secret. She was addicted to painkillers.”

  Stacey sucked in a breath. She stopped walking and faced him. “She must have hidden it well.”

  “She was a functional addict. Jean had already come along when I found out. I got Rachael help and I thought things were better. By the time I found out differently, Lizzy was on the way.” He hesitated, the memories making him feel momentarily queasy. “During my residency I was working twenty-four and sometimes forty-eight hours straight. I couldn’t keep an eye on her all the time. Mother helped out but it was still hard. What really brought things to a head was when I found a prescription pad missing. Rachael denied she took it but I know she did.”

  “Oh, Cody, what a nightmare.”

  He nodded his gratitude skyward, only to focus on Stacey’s compassionate face. “Yeah, and I had this perfect life all planned out. Nothing about that time was perfect. My career was on the line. My marriage was dying a painful death and my girls needed at least one good parent. Rachael was crying out for help I couldn’t give her.”

  “What about rehab?”

  “Oh, she would break her heart, swearing she would stop, then go to rehab but check herself out early. That happened more than once. It took me over a year of documentation and being overseen by strangers to get full custody of the girls. A few months after that happened, Alex and I met and shared our woes. You know the rest of that story.”

  Stacey put a hand on his forearm. Thankfully there was no pity in her words when she said, “I’m sorry. I had no idea. I shouldn’t have pried.”

  For some reason it had felt good to tell her. Outside his parents and Alex he’d never discussed what he’d been through. Maybe it was knowing Stacey would only be around for a short period of time that had made the difference. She was here, he had spilled his ugly secret and she would carry it off with her to Ethiopia in a few weeks. Whatever the reason, it felt good to give voice to it. His shoulders felt lighter than they had been in years. He could take a breath.

  “Do the girls ever see their mom?”

  Cody moved toward the house again. “No. She’s in California somewhere. Not even her parents are sure where she is.”

  “Oh.” Stacey slowly followed.

  “You can tell Jean has some memory of her. Lizzy doesn’t. After I got custody we moved here for a new start. Jean is working through her issues with a help of a therapist. Soon she’ll be old enough to fully understand about her mother.”

  “I’m sure you’ll do the right thing when the time comes.”

  “Don’t give me credit where it isn’t due. I failed my wife and my girls for a time.”

  “But you’re making it up to them.” She continued up the path and climbed the porch steps before she looked back at him. “You’re an okay guy, Dr. Brennan.”

  Cody joined her.

  She patted his shoulder. “You’re a good dad. You do what you can to give them a nice safe life. They’re happy, sweet girls.”

  “I appreciate you saying that, but it doesn’t make the ugliness they started out with go away.”

  “No, but you’re slowly replacing those ugly memories with good ones. Not all children are given a second chance like yours have had.” She headed into the house before he had a chance to ask about that wistful note in her voice.

  The girls were waiting for them in the kitchen. “It’s time for a bath and bed,” Cody told them.

  Not surprisingly, Lizzy whined, “Do we have to? I wanted Stacey to stay and play a game.”

  Stacey shook her head. “I can’t tonight. I need to be going home. Bye, Jean.”

  “Bye.” There was no warmth in Jean’s response.

  It didn’t matter. She wouldn’t be around long enough that Jean should care. But would she treat every woman Cody brought around the same way? Would Jean always yearn for something she didn’t have, like she had?

  “Now head on up,” he ordered. “I’ll be along to check on you in a few minutes.”

  “That’s my cue to find the door.” Stacey put the pot in the sink then walked down the hall to the front of the house. Cody followed her. At the door, she turned to him. “Thanks for the lobster experience. It was fun. I’ll have a nice memory too.”

  “You’re welcome. I’m glad you joined us.” He meant that. Without thinking, his hands went to rest lightly on her waist. It felt really good to touch her. Their gazes locked.

  She inhaled sharply and went stock still.

  Did it really surprise her that he would want to kiss her? Was she honestly unaware of how appealing she was? “I know this is a bad idea on so many levels,” he murmured, his head moving closer. “You are a colleague. I promised myself I wouldn’t bring anyone into my girls’ lives who wasn’t staying for the long haul.
Yet along came you.”

  His lips met hers. So delicious. Tender, yielding. Perfect. He wanted more.

  Stacey pushed him away. “Don’t,” she commanded. “We can’t do this.” She opened the door and hurried out.

  He watched her blend into the evening shadows. Their kiss had been too short, only leaving him longing for more. A feeling, heavy like a cold wet blanket, hung over him. He wanted Stacey but he’d learned the hard way that there were other considerations in his life that frequently overrode his own wishes.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  ON WEDNESDAY MORNING, Stacey took a deep breath and knocked on Cody’s office door. It was time for rounds. She hadn’t seen him for the last two days. He’d been in Boston both mornings, doing small repair surgeries on the senator’s son. He’d said she wasn’t needed there, but he wanted her to see the patients at the clinic for him.

  After her rejection of his parting kiss, she wasn’t sure what her reception would be. She shouldn’t have gone with him to the beach. Shouldn’t have put either one of them in that position. More than once she’d tried to say no but had given in anyway. Now things would be strained between them. She didn’t need that, even if she was only around for two and a half more weeks.

  The time she had spent with Cody and the girls had been the best she’d experienced in a long time. For just a little while she’d been a part of a family. And she’d liked it too well. It wasn’t a good idea for her or for Cody and his girls to get too involved with each other. Still, she couldn’t help herself. Growing up in a family had been all she’d wanted, to really belong somewhere.

  Trepidation filled her. Would Cody want to talk about their kiss? She was likely making too big a deal out of it. After all his lips had barely touched hers. So why couldn’t she get it out of her mind? She briefly brushed her bottom lip with a finger. She remembered every second of his touch, the press of his firm mouth against hers. It probably hadn’t been as memorable for Cody. In spite of herself, she wanted a chance at trying it again. She’d bet he could really curl her toes if she gave him half a chance. But she wouldn’t let that happen. Couldn’t.

  At the sound of his “Come in,” she stuck her head around the door. Cody sat behind a large oak desk that looked as if it was an antique.

  “I’m ready to do rounds when you are.” She couldn’t step any further into his space for fear her resolve would slip.

  He glanced up. “Okay. Give me another sec here.” Cody looked down again. “Come in and sit down. We need to talk anyway.”

  Great. That wasn’t what she wanted to do. But she had no choice. How foolish would she look if she refused to talk to the man she worked for? She was trying to forget their kiss and them hashing it out wasn’t going to help that happen.

  She took one of the two overstuffed chairs in front of his desk. It should be against the law for a man to look so attractive when doing nothing more than sitting at his desk. Heaven help her, she was losing her mind.

  Cody clicked a key then looked at her. “I just wanted to let you know what’s going to happen.”

  Her heart pounded. Happen? Between them?

  “The senator’s son is going to be moved out here the day after tomorrow.”

  Relief, quickly followed by disappointment, washed over her. She needed to focus. If she’d worried Cody might have felt something after their kiss she had just been assured he hadn’t. “Um, okay. I’ll see that the paperwork is in order.”

  “Good. See it gets to Harborside Hospital. The boy will be doing physical therapy here and will need a couple more small surgeries when he has healed enough. I’ll also need you to run point with his parents as well as any reporters they require you to respond to.”

  “Shouldn’t you be the one to speak to the reporters?” She didn’t do well with being in front of people. The thought of talking on TV struck her heart with terror.

  Apparently that was evident on her face because Cody asked, “You don’t like that idea?”

  “Not at all.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t do public speaking.” She wrung her hands in her lap.

  Cody crossed his arms, leaned them on his desk and watched her with those amazing all-seeing chocolate eyes.

  Stacey squirmed.

  He said with slow emphasis, “You mean there’s something in this world that you’re afraid of? Who would have thought?”

  Was he making fun of her? She sat straighter. Gripping the arms of the chair, she said, “I’ll have you know I’m afraid of a number of things.” Like you not kissing me again.

  “I haven’t seen it. If you’re uncomfortable with anything to do with the reporters just let me know. As a general rule security will handle almost anything. The reporters know we put a high priority on protecting our patients’ privacy. For the most part they leave us alone.”

  Cody sat back. “That being said, if the senator’s son’s history is any indication, I don’t anticipate him being one of our easiest patients. So don’t say I didn’t give you fair warning.”

  “I can handle him.”

  “There’s that confidence I was looking for.” He grinned. “If there’s anything you question or are not one hundred percent sure about, you can certainly run it past me first. I’ll be putting him in a semi-private room instead of a private one. His parents probably won’t like the idea, but he’ll be busy feeling sorry for himself and I want him to work at getting better while he is here. If for no other reason than he wants to get away from his roommate. No lying around in his bed all day.”

  Stacey was impressed. Cody wasn’t only thinking about his patient’s physical well-being but his mental health as well. “I’ll see that he gets a particularly irritating roommate.”

  Cody smiled. “Good thinking.” He pushed back from the desk. “Let’s get the rounds done. It’s dance night for the girls.”

  “Don’t sound so excited.” She stood and headed toward the door.

  He joined her. “I have to admit it’s the hardest night of the week. You really saved me last week. If you hadn’t shared your booth with us at the bistro, I would’ve been there waiting for ages with two whiny girls on a school night. Not my idea of fun. I owe you.”

  They walked up the hall toward the patients’ rooms.

  “I had payback with that lobster dinner you gave me on Sunday.” She pushed her hair out of the way to see him better. “You want me to go to the bistro again and save you a table tonight?” She was kidding but what if he took her seriously? Her goal was to put space between them, not see him more often.

  He stopped at the room door of Alonso, the tennis star whose knee he had repaired the week before. “I don’t think that’ll be necessary.”

  She was glad to hear it.

  Knocking, he then pushed the door open to see the room empty of tennis stars. He looked back at her. “Where is he?”

  “This time of the day I bet he’s in the community room. He likes to listen to Salty tell the twins stories.”

  They moved on up the hall.

  “So, you have met Connor and Peyton Walsh?”

  “Yeah, they’re hard to miss. Cute kids. Really nice parents.”

  “It has been tough on them with their children both being hurt. But the twins are recovering well and should be going home soon. They’ve kind of become the clinic mascots.”

  “Well, it’s testament to you and Alex that you guys decided early on that you’d save some beds for those who couldn’t afford the clinic and take care of the locals. You two are good guys.”

  “Hey, don’t be putting me on a pedestal because I can guarantee I’ll fall.”

  Did he really think that little of himself? From what she’d seen, he was almost perfect. Almost too good to be true. “I’m sure it wouldn’t be far if you did.”

  Cody glanced at her in a doubtful manner. “Thanks.”
<
br />   She shouldn’t have said that. Her mouth was always getting her into trouble. Even their conversations should remain impersonal.

  As if he didn’t like the direction of their exchange either, he said, “Alonso decided that he would recover faster here at the clinic. That way he would be able to stay out of the media spotlight for a while longer. It’s also easier to do the rehab without coming over daily on the ferry.”

  She whispered, “I’ve heard that more than one famous person has hidden out here. Want to share who?”

  “Nope, and we like to refer to it as recovering.” He mimicked her low tone.

  The sound made her shiver inside. What would it be like to have him whisper to her like that as they made love? No, that was no place for her mind to go. She swallowed. “Aw, got it.”

  He stopped and looked at her before he said, “I thought Alonso might be the person to put the senator’s son in with but I’ve thought better of it.”

  Stacey gave him a wry smile. “I’m thinking Salty might be the best choice.”

  Cody nodded. “I think you might be right. He will certainly be able to hold his own with the unhappy teen. And since Salty’s here for only a few more days of observation and IV antibiotics, neither one of them will have time to kill the other off. Philomena will be here to referee. She isn’t going to let anything happen to Salty.”

  “It’s sweet.”

  “Salty isn’t sweet.”

  “No, but the fact that Mrs. Kerridge-Bates and Salty can find love after all these years is. Especially since they’re so different.”

  Cody gave her a narrowed-eye look. “I wouldn’t have ever taken you for a romantic.”

  Was she? She didn’t believe in happily ever after for herself, but she did like to see others achieve it. She shrugged. “We all have our off days.”

  They visited two more patients before going to the community room in search of Alonso. He was there. Salty was surrounded by him, the twins and a few other patients.