Loving Ireland

by Mac Flynn

  A half hour later we had our meals in front of us and were discussing the happenings of the day along with the plans for tomorrow.

  "We squeaked out of that mess, didn't we?" I asked Lily over my steak.

  Lily sighed and nodded. "Yes, but Lord MacKenna will be attending the exhibit tomorrow. There's no way I can hide the portrait from him because he's supposed to reveal it to everyone."

  I felt a rock hit my stomach, or it was the baked potato I just ate. "No way to get someone else to do it, or get a new painting?"

  She forlornly shook her head. "He's the patron of the exhibit, and that's the pride of my collection. None of the other stuff comes close to how well I did on that piece, and after you left Mrs. Darby suggested he reveal the painting for everyone."

  "Maybe he won't take all my stuff out on you?" I suggested. "He was really nice to you at the show, so that's something."

  Lily sighed. "He certainly is a gentleman-"

  "-when he wants to be-" I spoke up.

  "-and nice-"

  "-when he's not trying to run you over with his car," I added.

  Lily scowled and I was cowed by the look; fortunately my steak was already in that state, just dead. "You're not helping," she hissed at me.

  "Sorry, just trying to get a smile out of that face before you kill me tomorrow," I replied. "You know, one last laugh."

  My friend rolled her eyes; that gave me hope that she wasn't going to murder me tomorrow if she lost her house. "Perhaps you're right."

  "Of course I'm right, I'm always right," I protested. "Right in advice, right as rain, and right-handed."

  "I really don't think you're always right," Lily protested.

  "No, I am. See?" I held up my right hand which held my fork. "Right-handed."

  Lily snorted at that. "I meant about being correct all the time," she corrected herself.

  "Oh, well, I guess I'm sometimes a little off in my guesses," I grudgingly agreed.

  "But I do hope you're right about Lord MacKenna having a fondness for me," Lily continued. "And I do think you're wrong about his character being so mean. Perhaps you have an unfortunate sense of timing."

  "Yes, during the times where he's been around me," I quipped.

  Lily sighed; at this rate she was going to run out of warm air. "You're supposed to be making me feel better about tomorrow," she reminded me.

  My shoulders slumped down, and I took on the rare serious turn. "I'm sorry, I guess I'm just mad at myself for making all this trouble. Here I come into your village and your home, and do nothing but cause misery for you."

  "I must admit you have been a troublesome guest," she agreed.

  "And terribly unhelpful," I added.

  "That's true."

  "And rude."

  "Definitely."

  "And modest to a fault."

  "That definitely hasn't happened," Lily replied. "And with your personality I don't see it happening any time soon."

  "Well, we've established that I'm not modest and I have messed up really bad since I got here, but how can I make it up to you?" I asked her.

  She leaned forward and looked into my eyes. "By being on your best behavior with the lord, and everyone else. That means no sarcastic remarks or witty commentary."

  "Can I at least sneak in a pun now and then?" I pleaded with her.

  Lily shook her head. "Not even that. I want you to act like a nice, normal person, and after the exhibit is done you can be you again. Deal?"

  I sighed and stuck out my hand. "Deal." We shook on it over the shakers. "Now all we need to do is pray Lord MacKenna is a forgiving man," I added.

  "I'm sure he is. He's a good lord, and won't mind at all about you or your painting," Lily assured me.

  A sudden thought struck me and I stroked my chin. "Maybe if I got my shirt wet I could distract him for the entire show."

  Lily choked on her drink, and she lifted a face filled with horror. "My god, Maggie, don't you dare!" They turned a few heads at the other tables, and Lily hunched down in her chair. "I know you want to help me, but maybe there isn't a way around his finding out. If he finds I've been hiding you at my cottage knowing his anger toward you then things would be far worse."

  I sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I guess. I just wish he wasn't such a jerk."

  "Maybe he isn't as mean as the few times you've met him," Lily pointed out. "He's a fair landlord and is a kind benefactor to starving artists."

  I glanced down at her plate and smirked. "I don't think you're starving tonight."

  She shrugged, but there was a wistful smile on her lips. "Even we artists need to eat a good, wholesome meal every now and then."

  Our good humors were brought back. We finished our meal and went back to the cottage to find a surprise waiting for us. It was Duffy, and he met us at the gate. He took off his worn hat and nodded to us. "A fine evening, isn't it, misses?"

  "Very fine, but be there something wrong?" Lily asked him. I didn't see any sign of pigs ravaging the flower beds I'd just weeded, so things could have been worse.

  "No, not exactly. Ah just wanted to tell yer friend here that the master was searching for her most of the morning," Duffy replied.

  I cringed and glanced at Lily, who looked to me with a worried expression. The situation had escalated from oh-crap to we-are-so-screwed. "I see," Lily said in a flat, quivering voice. "Did he say why he wanted to see my friend?"

  "Ah can't be sure, but it was something to do with water," Duffy told us. He looked between us with a twinkle in his eye. " If Ah was ever to find the young miss Ah was instructed to tell his lordship where she was hiding at."

  Lily jumped forward and clasped her trembling hands in his own. "You won't tell him just yet, will you? Please, Duffy, please don't tell him."

  The old man chuckled and patted her hands. "Ah won't, miss, but if'n there's trouble between his lordship and yer friend, he has a right to know she's staying in one of his cottages."

  "He'll find out tomorrow, I promise," Lily swore.

  "All right then, Ah'll keep ya to yer word and be seeing ya tomorrow," Duffy replied.

  Lily shook her head. "He won't find out until tomorrow night when he sees my portrait of Maggie," she explained to him.

  "Then Ah'll be praying for good luck for both of ya, and here ya are." He reached into his pocket and pulled out two crumpled and dead plants. "Ah've been saving these for just such an occasion, and Ah'd very much like if ye two fine ladies would take one apiece."

  Even Lilly hesitated to take his offered gifts. "Um, that's very nice, Duffy, but what are they?"

  "Four-leaf clovers," he chuckled. "Found 'em a while back and been holding onto 'em just in case. Ah see you two are in greater need of them than I." He handed each of us one of the wilted plants.

  "I'm not sure how to thank you," Lily replied.

  "Maybe with a pansy?" I suggested. She elbowed me, but Duffy smiled.

  "No need, misses. Ah'm just glad to be of service," he insisted. "Ah wish ya luck on yer show tomorrow, Lily. Show them city folk everything that makes our little village wonderful."

  "I will do that," Lily promised. Duffy bowed to us, donned his cap and went off into the woods. Lily looked down and smiled at her plant. "He has such a big heart."

  "And a strange mind," I mused.

  Lily cocked her head and glared at me. "And you are quite the pain."

  I shrugged. "I try my best."

  "If you try any harder you'll get me run out of the village," she countered. "I hope you behave well enough tomorrow."

  I placed my hand over my heart and bowed to her. "I swear I'll be so good you won't be able to recognize me tomorrow."

  She snorted. "So you'll be wearing a mop on your head tomorrow instead of a broom?"

  I feigned outrage. "How could you think of such a thing? Me, seen with a mop? What would the broom say?"

  "He'd say you're being silly and need to come in for a cup of tea," Lilly replied. She pushed me inside and we sat down with our
tea and wilting treasures.

  I twirled the stem of the clover and watched the head spin. "How are four-leaf clovers lucky, anyway?" I asked my Irish friend.

  "It comes from an old diddy. Now how does it go..." she muttered. Lily bit her lip as she recalled the song. "One leaf is for fame, and one leaf is for wealth, and one is for a faithful lover, and one to bring you glorious health, are all in the four-leaved clover."

  "Fame and wealth, eh?" I mused.

  "And love and health," she finished.

  I smiled and lifted the clover in a toast. "Here's to all those things for you tomorrow during your show."

  Lily smiled. "Even the lover?" she wondered.

  I smirked. "Especially the lover. What's an artist without a broken heart?"

  "I'd rather not have to go through that to find out," she replied. "And besides, this is to faithful lovers. They won't hurt you."

  "I think we're going to need more clovers to find one of those," I quipped. My eyes lit up when a brilliant idea struck me. "Or we'll have to make sure this thing really works."

  Lily was aghast when I dropped the clover into my tea. "That was a gift from Duffy!" she protested.

  I held up the cup for the cheer. "And this should guarantee that the luck happens. Care to join me?"

  She sighed and shook her head. "Only in the cheer, not in the drink."

  "Suit yourself." I tapped my cup against her clover, and downed the contents in one gulp. Too late did I learn the water was a little too warm for my throat, and I devolved into a coughing fit. Lily smiled and patted me on the back, and I managed a smile. "Not a great start to my luck, is it?"

  "Not really," she agreed.

  I straightened and let out a few more chokes before I controlled myself. "Well, maybe my luck just needs some time to turn from bad to good. I'll sleep on it and see what happens when I wake up." I stood and stubbed my toe against the table leg. Pain shot up my foot and I winced. "Or I could be dead by morning. Lily, promise me you won't bury me next to the pigs. I love bacon, but they smell really bad."

  Lily laughed and directed me to my bedroom. "I'm sure you'll be fine, now off to bed."

  Chapter 6

  The next day both of us tried not to show how nervous we were with Lord Jerk seeing the painting, but we failed miserably. Lily's mind wandered off so often I was tempted to put a leash on it, and I was so jumpy I wondered if that clover I ate hadn't been part kangaroo. Somehow we got through the day and went into town for the show. All the preparations were perfect and the building was crowded with many people near and far. There was barely room to breath and more than once I longed for the cramped quarters of my janitor's closet. Even with such a successful turnout I noticed Lily had one of her hands constantly in her pocket.

  I sidled up to her in a lull of congratulatory praise for her painting of me and tapped her hidden hand. "Got a gun hidden in there in case a critic comes by?" I teased her.

  Lily kept the smile on her face, but rolled her eyes. "No, Duffy's lucky charm," she whispered back.

  "You'd have better luck swallowing it," I encouraged her.

  "I will not do it."

  "Come on, it tastes like chicken."

  "It does not!" she hissed back.

  "You know you want to find that lover-"

  At that moment there was the familiar commotion from the front room, and we heard the lord's name pass through everyone's lips. I almost felt sorry for the poor guy; he couldn't go anywhere without everyone whispering his name like a sacred chant. Maybe they were hoping his riches would rub off on them. We saw Lord Jerk himself navigate through the crowd to the piece de resistance, Lily's painting of me. It was still hidden behind the sheet ready for his big reveal. I hid behind the throngs of admirers that crowded around the easel, and Lily stood nervously beside her painting. They shook hands and smiled at each other, and then Lord Jerk turned to the audience.

  "I have the pleasure to reveal the pride of our lovely exhibit, a painting created by our own Lily O'Brien." There was loud applause and my fingers itched to whistle, but I controlled myself and golf-clapped with the rest of them. Lord Jerk took hold of the sheet and whisked it away from the canvas. A lot of oohs and aahs rose up from the crowd, but I don't think anyone was more surprised than the lord. His eyes widened and his mouth hung open wide enough to catch a flying fish.

  Lily was overwhelmed with congratulations, and I noticed several people in fine suits put in their compliments. She was mugged for a good ten minutes, and at the tail end was the lord himself. He had been caught up by his adoring admirers since the reveal, but from my hidden spot in the crowd I'd seen him turn more than once to my painting, every time with a furrowed expression.

  When he came up to Lily I sidled through the crowd to where they stood with their backs to me and their fronts to the painting. "It's a magnificent show of talent," he complimented her.

  "Thank you, my lord. I'm pleased you like it," she politely replied.

  "Is this drawn from life?" he wondered.

  "Still life," I replied. Lily and Lord Jerk whirled around and I put on my best I'm-trying-to-behave smile. "Because I had to sit still for a long time so she could get the right pose."

  Lily rolled her eyes, but let that snarky remark pass without a scowl.

  "And a very good likeness," the lord added. "She's caught all your strengths-"

  "-and flaws," I pointed out. "I didn't know it before, but I have a very pointy nose."

  I was surprised when he glanced down and examined the price tag. "Quite a sum," he mused.

  Lily blushed. "That isn't the real price. I just put it there for the critics."

  "Liar," I mouthed, and she glared at me.

  "That's quite all right. How do you prefer payment?" he asked her.

  Lily and I both had looks of bewilderment on our wide-eyed faces. "Beg your pardon, my lord?" Lily asked him.

  Lord MacKenna pulled out his wallet and I saw several large bills stick out of the folds. "Do you prefer cash or check?" he rephrased.

  "W-well, check, if you prefer, but my lord, you can't want this painting," Lily insisted.

  He paused in removing his book and raised an eyebrow. "And why can't I?"

  "It's not to say you can't, it's just that, um-"

  "-that she's flattered and will take the check," I spoke up. I slid behind her and put my hands on her shoulders. "You know how she is, all modesty and kindness."

  "And a good tenant," he added as he filled out the amount. He held out the check for her, but Lily was too busy flopping her mouth like a fish to take notice, so I grabbed it.

  "Nice doing business with you. Did you need any help out with your purchase?" I asked him.

  He smiled; it was actually a cute smile when he wasn't marring it with his ass-ness. "No, I'm sure I can handle it. By the by, is Lily boarding you?" he wondered.

  "Oh no, I'm staying with one of her pigs. He's an old friend of mine from when we were young," I replied. Lily glanced over her shoulder and shot me a glare complete with twitching eye and curled lips.

  The lord only chuckled. "It was a pleasure meeting you again with your clothes dry, Miss?"

  He still hadn't caught my name; I wanted the chase to continue, but couldn't see a way out. "Miss Magee," I told him.

  "Miss Magee, he finished. He picked up his purchase, tucked it under his arm and bowed his head at both of us. "Miss O'Brien, Miss Magee, if you will excuse me." I followed Lily's example and clumsily curtsied in return.

  The lord left the exhibit hall, leaving Lily stunned and me suspicious. "I-I can't believe someone bought my painting," Lily whispered.

  "And it just had to be him..." I muttered. I narrowed my eyes and rubbed my chin. "I wonder what diabolical things he plans to do with it..."

  Lily rolled her eyes. "Perhaps he wants to hang it on a wall," she suggested.

  I shook my head. "No, too convenient. I'm sure he's going to toss it into the creek or in his dungeon."

  "Toss that much mone
y into a creek? Dungeon? You're mad, Maggie."

  I gave her my most wild-eyed stare. "Mad, am I? Well, I'll just show you." I marched toward the door, but she caught me on the arm.

  "Where are you going?" she hissed.

  "I'm going to the castle to see what he's going to do with it," I told her.

  "Now I know you're mad. You can't just follow someone back home," she scolded me.

  "I'll just take a peek through the window and run off into the woods. It won't take more than a few minutes with your car," I promised.

  "But you can't take the car. The exhibit is just about over and I'll need it to bring back my paintings to the house," she protested.

  "Then I'll hoof it along the road and see if he's home. It's only a few miles, and I need the exercise," I pointed out.

  My long-suffering friend sighed. "You're not going to give up until you find out, are you?"

  I firmly shook my head. "Nope. Makes life a little more exciting," I replied.

  She smiled at my adventuress spirit in the face of modern boredom. That, and I was just too darn cute to say no to. "All right, since I'm not being kicked out of my cottage you can go, but if you do get me kicked out then you're in big trouble."

  I smirked. "It's a deal. Meet you back at the house in an hour?"

  "Deal."

  I slunk out of the exhibit hall and glanced around the parked cars. His red killer was just leaving, and I slunk along the road behind it. He soon left me behind, but that was the better for me to sneak up on the castle. In half an hour I hid behind a bush at the point where the driveway curved into the circle in front of the castle. Through the windows I could see there were a few lights on in the entrance hall and some on the higher floors.

  With the Mission Impossible theme song playing in my head I felt unbeatable, and snuck over to one of the tall front windows. I stood on my tiptoes to get a good look inside, and saw the lord standing beside the fireplace with my painting in a chair beside him. He had a glass in hand and was staring intently at the artwork. After a few minutes a servant appeared from the back of the castle to refill his drink. It was riveting stuff.

  "Not very exciting," I murmured.

  "Ah'll say. Yer not much of a thief." At the unknown voice I screamed, jumped and swirled around to find Duffy standing there with a grin a mile and two feet wide. "Good evening, Miss Maggie," he properly greeted me.

  I clutched at my heart and glared at him. "God damn it, Duffy, you nearly scared the-"