Schoolgirl Missing

by Sue Fortin

  The rumble of the boiling kettle made it more difficult for Neve to hear the rest of the conversation. She pulled the throw tighter around her body.

  Was she having a nervous breakdown? She tried to think back to what she had been like after she had lost her own child. Did she feel the same now as she did then? She didn’t think so. But then there was Megan. Did sane people really think they could see dead people? It sounded ridiculous, even to her own mind but she also acknowledged she had seen Megan on the path outside. Was it her mind satisfying her deep desire to see her sister again?

  Tears rushed to Neve’s eyes. How many times had she wished for just one more moment with Megan? The rational part of her brain told her that it wasn’t possible and that hurt so very much. Her heart was being physically battered like a boxer’s exercise ball. The irrational part of her brain told her something different, that Megan was with her still. There to look after her. To see her through the tough times.

  At one of the few therapy sessions she’d attended, Neve was told she shouldn’t fantasise about Megan again. That Neve had to accept her sister was dead. It had been hard. So very hard.

  ‘Here, drink this,’ said Gareth coming back into the room. ‘A nice sweet cup of tea will help you get over the shock.’

  ‘Shock?’

  ‘Of seeing us again. Seeing Jasmine and Lisa,’ he paused, as he arranged the next words. ‘And of thinking you saw Megan.’

  ‘She seemed so real,’ said Neve softly.

  ‘Has this happened before?’

  Neve stalled for time, taking a sip of her overly sweet tea. ‘Yes,’ she finally admitted.

  ‘I told you she was crazy,’ said Lisa who had appeared in the living room.

  ‘Lisa,’ admonished Gareth, ‘that’s not helping.’

  ‘No, I’ll tell you what will help though – you call the men in white coats to come and take her away.’

  ‘Why don’t you go and see if Jasmine is OK?’ said Gareth, sitting on the footstool in front of Neve and facing her.

  ‘Jasmine is absolutely fine,’ said Lisa. ‘She’s staying in her room until it’s safe to come out.’

  Gareth shook his head despairingly but turned his attention back to Neve. ‘Does anyone know you’re here? Did you tell your husband you were coming here?’

  Neve shook her head. ‘He doesn’t know.’

  ‘Does he know what happened? What you did?’ asked Gareth.

  ‘I hadn’t told him.’ She turned to Lisa. ‘And it wasn’t your place to tell him.’

  ‘He had a right to know,’ said Lisa, a defensive yet belligerent tone to her voice. ‘His own daughter was missing. He had a right to know what sort of psycho he was married to. I don’t regret sending them for one moment. I’m just glad the child was found. I know what it’s like when your child goes missing.’

  ‘You weren’t the only one who suffered that weekend,’ snapped Gareth.

  ‘Then you should be on my side, not defending your sister,’ retorted Lisa.

  ‘It’s not a case of taking sides,’ said Gareth. ‘Neve is clearly not well.’

  ‘In the head!’ Lisa stabbed her finger at her temple to underline her meaning. ‘She’s not well in the head!’

  ‘If you can’t say anything constructive, go and find something else to do,’ snapped Gareth. He turned his attention back to his sister. ‘Neve, have you got your husband’s number. I should call him. He’ll be worried about you.’

  ‘Please don’t. I don’t want him to know.’

  Gareth reached across and held his sister’s hands. ‘I think it’s time to tell him.’

  ‘I can’t face him,’ said Neve. ‘I’ve totally messed everything up. My whole life has been a mess.’

  ‘You can say that again,’ muttered Lisa, still standing her ground.

  ‘You haven’t, Neve. You just need help coping sometimes. It’s nothing to be ashamed of,’ said Gareth. ‘You need to speak to your husband.’ He hesitated as if wrestling with what he wanted to say. ‘You need to let Megan rest in peace.’

  A huge sob from deep in the pit of Neve’s stomach propelled itself up through her chest. It took several minutes before she could calm down enough to speak again. ‘But I don’t want to leave Megan. I need her.’

  ‘You don’t, Neve. Not after what happened with Jasmine. You let Megan get in your head and she nearly destroyed you. Don’t let it happen again. Please.’

  Neve knew what her brother was saying was right, but at the same time it sounded impossible for her to do. She couldn’t just leave Megan. Couldn’t just abandon her sister after all this time.

  Neve looked towards the doorway, sensing somebody there, as Jasmine walked into the room.

  ‘Oh, no you don’t,’ began Lisa.

  Gareth rose to his feet and put a steadying arm on his wife’s. ‘Leave her be.’

  Neve looked at her beautiful niece standing in front of her. Her big brown apprehensive eyes returned her gaze. ‘Hello, Jasmine,’ she said, taking a tissue from her pocket and wiping her face, as she stood up. ‘Do you know who I am?’

  Jasmine flicked a glance to her parents before saying to Neve, ‘Yes. You’re my dad’s sister. My aunty Neve.’

  Neve smiled. ‘That’s right. You look exactly as I remember you,’ she said. ‘Just older.’

  ‘I’ve always wondered if you’d come here,’ said Jasmine. ‘I know what happened. Mum and Dad have told me. I don’t remember it hardly though.’

  ‘You were only young,’ said Neve.

  ‘I always had this vague picture in my mind of what you looked like,’ said Jasmine, fiddling with the hem of her school blazer. ‘I remember your blonde hair and I can remember you laughing as we built sandcastles.’

  Neve smiled at the memory. ‘It was a lovely day. Breezy but the sun was shining. You were crouched down and the wind was lifting your hair …’

  ‘Enough!’ said Lisa. ‘I don’t want to hear this.’

  ‘Mum!’

  ‘I said enough,’ insisted Lisa. She turned to Neve. ‘Don’t you have a husband and child to go home to?’

  As Neve stood there looking at Jasmine, she could feel herself drifting away, back to that day on the beach. Lisa’s voice was becoming more and more distant, gradually blocked out by the sound of the waves, the rush of the water as it broke and scrambled up the shore line, the squawk of the seagulls overhead, the bluster of the wind as it buffeted in off the tide and the taste of the briny sea air on her mouth.

  And then the scene changed.

  Dark clouds swamped the sky, the wind upgraded from blustery to fierce. The water was cold, rushing around her ankles and then her knees. A big wave knocked her off balance, sending her sprawling into the wake. She could feel the sand and stones beneath her being torn back out as the sea regrouped. She was buoyant and pulled out with it. Her hands scoring drag marks in the sand. She tried to stand but the water was too deep. She could feel the slime of the seaweed as it wrapped itself around her legs. The waves crashed over her head and she took in a mouthful of the cold salty water.

  Megan was screaming her name now. Neve looked back. The shore seemed so far away and she was being dragged further and further out. It was all she could do to keep afloat. Another wave pounded her and then she was over the crashing waves and moving fast out to sea. She couldn’t see Megan anymore.

  She remembered Gareth once telling them you could swim out of a riptide if you swam parallel to the shore. Neve was a strong swimmer, she’d competed at junior level when she was younger. She moved to the side of the channel and although it took all the strength and stamina she had, she finally felt herself slip from the current. There was a small spit of rocks protruding out into the water. It was going to be painful trying to hold onto the jagged and scored surface, but it was her only chance.

  Neve hauled herself out of the water and onto the rocks, gasping for breath, coughing and spluttering as her lungs cleared themselves of the sea water.

  As she looked back i
nto the water, Neve couldn’t see Megan. There wasn’t any sign of her anywhere and no matter how much she shouted her sister’s name, she never saw Megan again.

  Neve felt herself wobble as she relived the moment. Her head felt light on the inside but at the same time too heavy to hold up. She felt herself sway.

  ‘Megan …’ she heard her voice, her eighteen-year-old self, calling her sister’s name over and over again, but it was so faint, so distant.

  The next thing she was vaguely aware of was her knees giving way, someone catching her and what sounded like her brother’s voice calling for an ambulance.

  Chapter 34

  ‘Thank you for phoning. I’m just sorry we couldn’t have spoken under better circumstances.’ Kit ended the call and slipped his mobile back into his pocket.

  ‘Neve?’ Pearson looked questioningly at Kit.

  Kit hesitated for a second, wondering whether he could conjure up an alternative answer to the truth but ultimately decided there was no point trying to blag it. ‘It was Neve’s brother, Gareth,’ he said. ‘Apparently, Neve turned up at his house this lunchtime. She’s had some sort of funny turn. I’m not sure of the details, but she’s in Newport hospital.’

  He hooked his jacket off from the back of his chair.

  ‘Serious?’ asked Sally.

  ‘Like I said, I don’t know the details,’ said Kit, shrugging on his jacket. ‘But the fact she’s in hospital, kind of says it all.’ He didn’t have time for the police officers now. He needed to get to Newport. What the hell she was doing over there, he had no idea. Gareth hadn’t elaborated, and it hadn’t been the time to ask. Not with these two here anyway.

  ‘Did you know she was going to see her brother?’ pried the DCI. ‘I thought she didn’t speak to him.’

  ‘Turns out she does,’ said Kit, not bothering to hide the sarcasm from his voice. ‘I’m sorry, but I need to go.’ He picked up his briefcase and walked over to the door, holding it open for his visitors to exit.

  ‘Yes, of course,’ said Sally, following her boss’s lead and walking across the office. ‘Do keep us up to date.’

  Kit managed a cordial nod and said his goodbyes as the DCI and FLO left the building. He was still trying to take in what they had just told him, but it was as if there wasn’t quite enough room. There were so many thoughts jostling for attention. He’d have to push the latest revelation to the back of the queue for now.

  ‘Cancel all my meetings today and tomorrow, please,’ said Kit to Veronica. ‘I’ve got a family emergency.’ And then, seeing the look of concern on his employee’s face, elaborated, ‘Neve’s been taken ill at her brother’s in Wales.’

  The door on the other side of the reception area opened and Sean came out. ‘Trouble?’ he said and then taking a look at Kit, asked, ‘Are you OK, mate?’

  ‘Yeah. Sort of. The police were just asking some background questions. Formalities, that sort of stuff.’

  ‘Neve’s been taken ill, though,’ said Veronica. ‘Kit’s just heading off.’

  ‘Neve? What’s happened?’ asked Sean, frowning.

  Kit gave a brief summary of what little he knew. ‘I’m going there now. Probably won’t be back tonight.’ He was just about to turn and leave when he suddenly thought of Poppy. ‘Oh, shit. I was supposed to be taking Poppy to my mother’s tonight. I’ll have to call her.’

  ‘I can do that for you,’ said Sean.

  ‘No, I’ll do it. She’ll only try to phone me anyway. Thanks all the same.’

  ‘No worries. Mind how you go. Give Neve my love.’

  ‘Cheers mate.’

  As Kit drove off towards the motorway, he hoped that Poppy wouldn’t freak out too much about his mother picking her up. She didn’t do well with surprises. His fingers drummed the steering wheel. He’d go to the school first and tell her in person. It would only take another fifteen minutes or so, and it would ease his conscience at having to leave her just when he was hoping things would settle back down into a routine.

  As he drove, he couldn’t ignore the latest information Pearson had given him, and his wife’s connection with Farnham played on his mind the most. Especially as the bloke had disappeared and the police were still keen to talk to him. She’d known Farnham since she was a teenager and yet he had never once heard her mention him.

  And the whole drugs thing! What was that all about? Was that what Scott Tansley was hinting at? Kit assumed that Farnham was the other lad in the photograph, the one who had tried to beat the timer on the camera, whose face was covered by his arm as he dived into the shot. It would make sense.

  Had Megan died because they’d taken drugs? He found it hard to believe that Neve would be so reckless, it was like she was some stranger to him.

  Kit called his mother on the hands-free device in his car. ‘Hi, Mum. Look, I’m afraid there’s been a change of plan for tonight,’ he said and continued quickly, ignoring the little ‘oh’ of indignation from his mother. ‘I don’t have time to explain in detail but Neve’s in Wales and been taken ill so I’m heading up there now to see her. Can you collect Poppy from her after-school club and take her back to yours for tea. I’ll give you a ring later when I know what’s going on. You might need to take Poppy home tonight, depending if we come back tonight or not.’

  ‘What? Neve? Ill? In Wales?’

  Kit gave a roll of his eyes. ‘Yes, Mum. I’m driving so I can’t speak now but can you get Poppy, please?’

  ‘Well, I don’t know if it’s a good idea leaving Poppy after all that’s happened …’

  Kit cut in before his mother could say any more. ‘Mum, it’s not ideal, I know, but it’s happening. Can you get Poppy or not? Please?’

  ‘Yes, of course I will. Has she got a key?’

  ‘No. I’ll leave one with her teacher though. You can collect if from the school office.’

  ‘It would be so much easier if I had a key,’ his mother was saying.

  ‘Sorry, Mum. Driving. Bad line. I’ll phone you later.’ He cut the call before his mother could say anything else.

  Luckily, Poppy’s school were very accommodating to irregular and unusual student needs and ushered Kit into the chill-out room, as it was signposted on the door in big colourful letters, while someone went to fetch Poppy. The room was painted in a pastel primrose and the pictures on the walls, painted by the children gave it a homely feel. There were two brightly coloured beanbags next to a small book case with a selection of books and other educational resources. One corner had been dedicated to a small water feature and the trickling sound of the water tumbling over the pebbles and into a little pool was very soothing.

  Kit checked his watch and hoped the teacher wouldn’t take too long fetching Poppy. When Mrs Ogden returned with Poppy, Kit gave his daughter a reassuring smile. ‘Hi, sweetheart,’ he said. ‘Look, your nan is going to pick you up tonight. I’ve got to go to Wales.’

  ‘Wales?’ said Poppy. ‘Where’s that?’

  ‘A few hours away,’ said Kit, and then clarified for his daughter’s sake. ‘Three hours away by car. Neve is there and not feeling very well, so I’m going to see her and bring her home if I can.’

  ‘OK,’ said Poppy with a shrug.

  Kit was relieved that Poppy seemed to be taking his explanation at face value and not asking for any further clarification. He wasn’t sure what reassurances he would be able to offer her, after all, he couldn’t even offer himself any. He didn’t have any control on the situation and he was aware of unwelcome anxiety stirring in the pit of his stomach.

  Ten minutes later, Kit was in the car and speeding to the petrol station. Perspiration dotted his forehead and he wiped it away with a tissue from the box Neve liked to keep in the car. He still needed to dive home and grab an overnight bag for himself and some fresh clothes for Neve.

  Why hadn’t she told him what she was doing? What about her dentist appointment? Maybe that’s why she was ill. Perhaps she had a severe infection or something. Sepsis even! Shit. People could die f
rom that.

  Then he shook his head. No. That didn’t make sense. She said she had an appointment this afternoon. She’d rung him just a little while ago to tell him she wouldn’t be at his mother’s.

  ‘For fuck’s sake, Neve!’ he cursed out loud. ‘What the hell were you playing at?’

  Despite what Pearson had told Kit just an hour ago about his wife, Kit knew he couldn’t abandon her now. He had to process the new information. It put everything into a whole new light. He wasn’t sure how it changed things, but it was a significant revelation. In fact, it was pretty damn huge.

  Kit now knew things about Neve that shocked and saddened him at the same time. And he began to understand how much his wife had to carry on her shoulders.

  By the time Kit pulled up in the car park of the Royal Gwent Hospital, his eyes were aching from the concentration. He rubbed them with his fingertips before exiting the vehicle and heading off to find Neve.

  The sterile smell of the ward hit him and made him feel queasy as he entered. He’d never liked hospitals. Not since Poppy was born. For him they were a place where bad things happened. Bad memories hung in the air like cobwebs.

  ‘I’ve come to see Neve Masters,’ said Kit to the nurse.

  Checking on the white board, she directed Kit to the ward further down the corridor.

  Neve was in the bed immediately to the right. Kit could see her pale face, almost the same colour as the white pillow case on which her head rested. Her eyes were closed but Kit had the sensation she wasn’t sleeping. A man who Kit estimated to be in his fifties was sitting in the chair next to the bed. His grey head was dipped as he read a newspaper. The man looked up as Kit approached the bed.

  ‘Kit?’

  ‘Gareth?’

  ‘That’s right.’ A Welsh lilt accompanied the man’s voice and he extended his hand to Kit. ‘We meet at last.’

  Kit gave a nod. ‘How is she?’

  Gareth grimaced. ‘Very upset.’ He motioned towards the corridor.

  Kit took the hint and the two men walked outside.

  ‘She turned up at my house totally out of the blue,’ said Gareth. ‘I opened the door and there she was. Took me by surprise, I can tell you.’