Phoenix Everlasting

by Rebecca Royce

  I laughed. This might be the first time I’d ever been so amused by a ghost. “Okay. Maybe. What’s the deal with these two? He left her. He took her money. I thought I was going to have to get creative to get you to speak. But since you can talk, even better.”

  “I don’t want to go wherever you’re going to send me. I’m afraid I won’t go to the good place but to the other one. I don’t want the darkness to come get me.”

  Empathy made me gentle. “I don’t want to go with the darkness either. Did you do anything in your life that would make you think you’d end up with them instead of wherever ghosts go?”

  She shook her head. “Not me personally. Only we did lots of bad things then, things that were considered okay. That aren’t okay now. Which set of values will I be judged by? This one or the one from when I was alive?”

  “I don’t have answers. I’m not the judge or jury. I send you on. What happens after, that’s beyond my pay grade. Tell you what; I won’t send you on. I’m strong. I can resist the urge. If you tell me what I need to know. Where did dipshit go with her money?”

  The ghost smiled. “I heard him on the phone. Hawaii.”

  Chase was going to look like such a hero.

  ***

  With Chase’s music blaring and the windows down, we pulled toward the address where I was meeting Malcolm downtown. We still had five minutes before I was due, and I saw no sign of Malcolm on the street outside the large office building.

  Chase turned off the music, but it did nothing to dim the grin on his face. “Case solved by ghost. I never would have guessed it. Thanks, Kendall. That was much nicer than watching you sex up his best friend.”

  I shoved his arm. “I’m not capable of sexing up anybody. Trust me. That wouldn’t have worked.”

  “I’m not going to respond to that nonsense. Malcolm would kill me even if I was only telling you that you are sexy in the way friends do.”

  I’d never had this kind of relationship with Chase, and I didn’t want it now. I had Victoria for sexy pep talks. He was way too good-looking to be one of the girls, and I had enough men in my life to last a good long while.

  I pushed on his head, and he yelped. “What was that for?”

  “You should start to be able to make people talk. It’ll open up for you.”

  “Ah, damn it.” Chase shook his head. “I didn’t like when Gabriel used to pound on my head with power, and I’d rather you not do it either. I’m always going to be Chase the underachiever. Let’s get comfortable with that concept, shall we?”

  A woman walked in front of our car. I watched her, drawn to the outside movement more than anything else. She was lovely, dressed in green scrubs. Her hair was pulled back out of her face, and she sipped an iced coffee while she travelled, unaware that the shadows were threatening to overtake the earth. Her scrubs had clowns on them, which told me she probably worked somewhere in pediatrics.

  “Wow.” Chase leaned back against his seat more. “She’s pretty.”

  I supposed she was, although I would have used the word striking to describe her more than anything else. She had a long face and high cheekbones and her brown hair shone in the way girls in their twenties never appreciate until it fades in their thirties.

  She wasn’t wearing a wedding ring. “Out of the car.”

  “What?” He hadn’t taken his eyes off the woman.

  “We have three days left to live, maybe. Sure, Malcolm might suddenly figure out how to win. I never doubt him. But even he would say that he’s got fifty-fifty odds. Dead in three days. No one can attach to you. Plenty of time to have some fun. I don’t know this girl. I don’t do this stuff. Come on, let’s do it.”

  He stared at me as though I had two heads. “Do what exactly?”

  “Have a date.”

  I jumped out of the car, ignoring his protest behind me. I ran to the woman on the street. She stopped when I approached but didn’t back away to run. Either I didn’t look threatening or she hadn’t enough sense to run from strangers. Her light burned nicely inside of her. She was human. Or she was a black belt or something …

  “Can I help you?” She sounded curious, not afraid.

  I nodded. “Look, I never do this. I’m Kendall. That guy glaring at me from the car is Chase. He’s my friend, and he just said you were really pretty. He never does that. Can be a bit of a curmudgeon. But he’s cute, right? In that ‘you’re not sure if he’s good or bad’ kind of a way? Right. I thought maybe I could introduce you. Or we could leave you alone.”

  She laughed, which was a very good sign, touching the back of her hair. “How could he possibly think I look pretty? I’m a mess.”

  “If this is you a mess, you must really be something all dressed up.” I stepped back. “Anyway, that’s Chase, and you’re ….”

  She looked between Chase and me as though she tried to decide if we were both out of our minds. “I’m Annika.”

  “Chase, this is Annika. Come say hello.”

  Voices from the doorway of the office building caught my attention, and I moved away to let Chase meet Annika. He’d either follow through or he wouldn’t. As for Annika, even if things didn’t work out with Chase, he’d make her day. I’d never been stopped on the street for anyone to tell me I was beautiful. Her ego had to be bursting.

  “Hi.” Well, at least Chase knew how to say hello.

  Malcolm and four other people stood outside of the building. An older man, grey-haired with a round face and kind eyes, reached out his hand, and Malcolm took it to shake. I walked to the bottom of the stairs and waited. Malcolm caught my gaze and grinned at me seconds before he dropped the man’s hand.

  He gestured toward me, and I took the stairs two at a time to meet him. He tugged me to his side as though it were the most natural thing for us to be doing in public. I fit into the crook of his arm. Why hadn’t I noticed that before?

  “This is the reason I have to run today. My girlfriend, Kendall Madison. Kendall, this is everyone I sit on the hospital board with. Or sat, I should say. I just signed off my position to Nelson, here.”

  Nelson shook his head. “We can’t believe we’re going to lose him. He’s been so committed.”

  “Well, better to move on than stay too long. Always leave them wanting more.” Malcolm tensed next to me. He’d quit whatever board this was because of the fight coming up.

  Nelson, who I could now see had kind eyes, smiled. “Let me take you for a drink. To say thank you for nominating me.”

  “Well, I’d love to join you. But my girl said she needed to talk. I’d be a foolish man to keep her waiting.” I tried to judge if he really wanted to get away. I couldn’t see any of Malcolm’s usual angst flowing through his words. He seemed to be genuine with this group. Although I’d not gotten the others’ names, they nodded to Malcolm and slapped him on the shoulders. Everyone but Nelson left.

  I squeezed Malcolm tightly. “We can have a drink. I could use one. Let’s go somewhere close. Is there a place around here?”

  “Yeah?” Malcolm cocked his head to the side. “You sure?”

  “Absolutely. My news waited all day. It can take a few more hours. Trust me; it’s nothing we have to deal with right now.”

  Malcolm nodded to Nelson. “Then let’s do it.”

  Leaving Chase, who still chatted with Annika on the street behind, I followed Malcolm down the block to a bar called Terrence’s. I spent so little time downtown I’d never been anywhere near the area before. The place was sparsely decorated in what I thought of as a modern theme. We sat around a table on chairs so tall my feet swung like I was Molly at the kitchen table. Even Malcolm couldn’t get his feet on the floor. The table, grey and balanced on a circular base, had a scoop down the middle that made it hard to keep the cups level.

  When the waitress had brought over our orders, a Moscow Mule for me—a drink I’d found at a Christmas party and wanted to have again since—bourbon for Malcolm, and Nelson’s vodka tonic, Nelson raised his glass to Malcolm. �
��The new pulmonary ward at the hospital thanks you.”

  “Pulmonary ward.” I sipped my drink. He’d called me his girlfriend, and if I played that role then I would know about his charity work. “Good work, sweetheart.”

  “Thanks, babe.”

  They lowered the light in the bar, and we looked up to watch the room dim. Nelson chatted happily about all the things he had to look forward to over the next year. I’d gotten used to talking to his type during my marriage. He was actually a nice drinking companion. I’d spent time with more pompous people. He actually seemed to care about helping people, which was why Malcolm had nominated him to take over.

  A former doctor, he’d spent the second half of his life fundraising for hospitals and other charities he cared about.

  I pointed to his wedding ring. “Tell me about your wife.”

  He laughed. “Oh, she’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I’ve told you about her, haven’t I, Malcolm?”

  “No.” Malcolm shook his head. “I’m not good at asking the right questions. Wife. Children. I should. I’m sorry.”

  I took his hand, loving the feel of the calluses on his fingers. He wore a suit, and in some ways, this gentle, obliging Malcolm was a stranger. Yet he remained mine. I could feel him inside of me as easily as I did his warmth from the chair next to me.

  “Oh, well, Natalie and I have been together since medical school. She still practices. Doctors Without Borders. She’s in Africa right now. Keeps me in line. Wicked sense of humor, my girl. Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done without her. Reminds me of you.” He pointed at me. “Holds a person’s gaze, easy smile. Bet you have temper beneath the easy-going smile.” He shook his head. “Sorry, vodka talking.”

  Malcolm snorted. “No, you hit the nail on the head. That’s my girl.”

  “What’s your story then? You’re not married? I’m such an old fogey. I think when people are together, they should be official.”

  My cheeks warmed. “We found each other again recently. Malcolm and I knew each other when we were kids.”

  “Tell me.” He scooted in his uncomfortable seat. “I love a good love story.”

  So did I. And for a few minutes, I could pretend.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Go on,” Nelson encouraged, sipping his drink while next to me I felt Malcolm tense. Obviously, I couldn’t tell this man our true story. He’d think we were nuts. And it didn’t exactly qualify as a love story. More like a death-and-destruction explosion of lunacy.

  Still, there were things I could share. “We met when we were nine.”

  His eyes got huge. “That’s young. Malcolm told me he was a foster child. In and out of the system when he was young.”

  “He was that.” I squeezed Malcolm’s hand, appreciating the way his darker skin looked next to mine. I shook my head. Wow, I was getting downright gooey. “We arrived in his town. My parents raised me in the back of their van, like strange hippies constantly on the go.” Sort of true.

  “They still have the van. It still runs,” Malcolm added, shaking his head. “I loved that thing.”

  Did he? I’d never known that. “Anyway, I was in his town for a while. We were friends. We did everything together.” True. True. And true. “Then when I was twelve, we separated, and I didn’t see him again until recently, after my divorce.” True. Amazing how much truth I could actually speak. “I went to a bar, and he was there.” True, if I didn’t press on it too much. “We found each other again. I’m recently divorced. So it’s been kind of like a second chance.” True.

  Leaving out most of the pertinent stuff, I’d managed to do a pretty good barebones description of Malcolm and me.

  “When I spotted her in the bar.” Malcolm cleared his throat. “It was like time had no meaning at all. Or as though everything in my life moved to that very moment.”

  Nelson wagged a finger at him. “You’re a romantic.”

  Malcolm kissed my hand. “I guess I am.”

  We walked in silence toward his car. A cool breeze batted at my hair, and when I moved to get it out of eyes, Malcolm tugged me against him. “I never want to go to any meetings without you. I know that sounds insane. I’m sorry. I had … I had the best hour just now. Thank you for doing that.”

  “For doing what? I don’t think I—”

  “For making me feel, for just a second, we really could have that life.” He opened his car door, and I got in, buckling up while he rushed to the other side. After he got into the car, he pulled out into traffic.

  “We should have had this life.” The circumstances which determined my life didn’t usually bug me. But tonight they did. “A bullet took it all away. Who knows? Maybe we would have eventually gotten sick of each other. We should have gotten the right to try.”

  We drove in silence, which was good since my mind was too full to form words. We hadn’t a chance in hell of beating the shadows. With only days left to live, I didn’t want to spend my time wondering about what could have been.

  “What did you want to tell me?”

  I almost wished I didn’t have to. I launched into a description of my morning. Top Hat’s visit. My inability to harm the shadow, and the way Rafael had saved me. Malcolm stayed silent, his face passive. I knew better than to believe he’d taken my news well. When Malcolm shut down was when I really got worried.

  He pulled off the highway and into an abandoned parking lot. Having spent little to no time in the eastern part of Austin lately, I didn’t even know what used to be in the space. I doubted Malcolm even knew. He was out of the car, pacing the parking lot before I even had the chance to question him.

  I got out slowly. For a few moments, I leaned against the car. “Are you okay?”

  “No. I’m not fucking okay. Would you have done it? Did you consider his proposal even for a second?”

  “What?” He didn’t make sense. We had a lot to talk about, and all of it had to do with him not being able to duel the shadow.

  He stormed over to me until he towered over me. “Were you actually going to say yes? That you would die for me?”

  “I was considering it.” I spit my response out, stating for the first time what I hadn’t even admitted to myself before. “I don’t want to die, no. But this battle needs you. The world requires saving, and the only man for the job is Malcolm Fallon. Not to mention, I’m in love with you.”

  He yanked me against him. “You don’t get to die. You have children.”

  “Who will die if you don’t stop the shadow invasion? Sometimes there are sacrifices to be made.”

  “You’re not a sacrifice. And Rafael did the right fucking thing because, so help me, if you cut some kind of deal with a monster who is so horrific he actually rules the other monsters, then I am going to … well I don’t know what I’m going to do, Kendall, but it will be something.”

  I kissed him, hard on the mouth. He yanked his mouth away. “You can’t make me forget how angry I am right now.”

  “Be angry if you want to be. You would die for me. You nearly did for my son. You don’t have the patent on self-sacrifice. We have a lot to focus on, but if you want to be a douche about this and spend the night pissed off instead, then take me the fuck home. Or, you know what? Forget it. I’ll call a cab.” I pulled out my phone. Uber had left Austin weeks earlier. It was next to impossible, from what I understood, to get a taxi, but I would sit myself down until one could come get me.

  “Put the phone away.”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  “I am happy to die on Friday, Kendall, if that’s what’s coming for me. I’ll go in with both eyes open. I can’t beat them? Fine. I have no purpose here anyway. I’m basically a contract killer if you think about it. They regrew my bones, my flesh, put my soul back inside the new body, all for the purpose of killing the shadows.”

  He wanted to do this now? I shouted. I just couldn’t help myself. “To stop them from taking over this dimension. That’s what you’re doing. No one said
anything about killing anyone. I was there for all of it. So unless you went and had private meetings with Michael I know nothing about, no one ever told you that your higher purpose is to deliver death to the shadow monsters alone.”

  “What? Like you did? Which one of us had the private meeting with Michael?”

  I kicked his car’s tire. “You want me to apologize? Fine. I’m sorry. I didn’t discuss with you, moments before I was being sent back to life, that I believed the beings powerful enough to give me rebirth when they told me that not remembering you was what had to happen. Excuse me for believing them.”

  “I don’t want to live on this planet without you. I can go. You can’t.”

  “Then let’s both agree not to die.” This was the most ridiculous conversation I’d ever had. “You can’t win your battle. Cancel it.”

  “Kendall Madison, you kicked my car a second ago. I know that’s the least of our problems. I can’t stop visualizing it. Please don’t ever kick my car again.”

  Malcolm had to be the most exasperating man. “Fine.”

  He pointed at the vehicle. “Get in.”

  I did as he asked. To be really immature about it, I stared out the window the whole rest of the drive. It was ten minutes before I realized we weren’t headed to my house. “Where are you going?”

  “To my house.”

  “To your house?”

  He actually looked bored. “Something wrong with your hearing?”

  “Why are we going to your house instead of my house?”

  “So I can fuck you as hard and long as I can in my bed.”

  I sat back. Between the fighting in the parking lot and the images his words evoked, I could hardly breathe through the sound of my own heartbeat. I could argue with him, demand to go home, or even tell him I wanted to go to bed with him. Instead, I provoked him some more. Just because I could. With three days left with him, unless I could get him to back off the crazy deal, I couldn’t possibly think straight. Not when it came to Malcolm.

  “I’m not sure you can do that. I don’t know if you have it in you. I think you might be too worked up to show me a good time.”