Expelled (Interplanetary Spy for Hire Book 1)

by Ell Leigh Clarke

“Merry, I’m going to take a wild guess about what is about to happen. Let me ask you, how flammable is Jupiterian atmospheric gas?”

  “Very.”

  “Fuck.”

  The gas ignited the torches in each service bot, surrounding Jayne and Cameron in a circle of fire. The bots advanced toward them, tightening the ring.

  Cameron pulled out his stun gun. “Jayne, these bots are old. I doubt they can handle this voltage. I’ve got it from here. Go find Burrett.”

  “Are you crazy?”

  Cameron spun Jayne around. They locked eyes through their smog masks. “Yes.”

  Jayne understood. “I’d like to dedicate this ass kicking to Fred.”

  “To Fred.” They fist bumped.

  Cameron pulled his stun gun from the shoulder holster and shot the service bot behind Jayne. Bull’s eye, one million volts right into the bot’s central A.I. hub. The bot shut down, collapsing on itself. Jayne took a running jump off the service bot’s collapsed frame and launched herself into a roundhouse kick, knocking the head off a second service bot. Cameron only had two left to deal with now. She knew he could handle it.

  +++

  Out on the street, Merry was shaking with frustration. She did not like to go into situations blind. She did not like to be helpless. She was getting flustered.

  “Jayne? Jayne, please come through.” Every second felt like a century. Merry screamed in frustration.

  “Merry!” Jayne’s voice crackled in Merry’s earpiece.

  “Thank god! Jayne, what is going on?”

  “Burrett retrofitted some service bots into attack droids. He’s good. And he works fast. Cameron’s handling them, so I only have so long to find this psychopathic asshole. I need your help. This restaurant is huge.”

  Merry powered on her tablet again and started searching any and all information about Le Maison de Jupiter. “I’m doing my best, but there’s nothing about this restaurant except for old holograph scans and a few historical articles.”

  “I’m doing my best right now, Merry, but there’s a lot to take in. I don’t know where to start. Who knows where Burrett has gone to? He may have dozens of hideouts. What if he’s already left?”

  “Okay, I’m trying. I’m trying.”

  She scrolled through an encyclopedic docufile on the restaurant.

  “I just don’t know, Jayne.” Merry was losing hope. “Burrett is an absolute psychopath. How am I supposed to think like—” Merry stopped scrolling. She had arrived at an old holograph scan of Le Maison’s first cooking staff. They were a robust crew in white smocks and proud chef’s hats. In the corner, two rotund bakers held a platter of donuts.

  Merry thought back to Fred. If we want to find Burrett, he had said, we’ve got to think like Burrett.

  “Jayne! I know where he is.”

  +++

  Le Maison de Jupiter prided itself for cooking, brewing, aging, smoking, and baking everything in house. Their pastries were as famous as their entrees, as intoxicating as their cocktails. They pioneered many modern standards. The double-jointed bear claw, the double-decker boysenberry turnover, and the triple fudge donut.

  Over a fizz of static, Merry reached Jayne. “He’s in the bakery.”

  “You’re the best, Merry.”

  Jayne checked on Cameron, who was handling himself quite nicely with the service bots. With that reassurance, she hopped over the bar and hurried into the kitchen.

  As Jayne disappeared into the kitchen through one set of doors, three more service bots exited another set. They advanced toward Cameron, who was only just now turning his fury on the last one.

  He noticed the new service bots approaching him. “Alright. You guys officially aren’t getting a tip.” He buzzed in on the comm. “Merry? I need backup. Whoever you can get. The service here is terrible.”

  Even through her mask, Jayne could tell the kitchen smelled like raccossum excrement. The floor was covered in a dense, inch thick layer of the stuff. Jayne moved through a second set of swinging doors. The high-ceilinged room housed eight massive stills. This was where Le Maison brewed its own liquor. This restaurant was massive. Jayne had no idea where the bakery would be.

  She turned for the next set of swinging doors. “Third time's a charm.” She muttered to herself.

  She laid eyes on a massive brick oven and knew she hit the jackpot.

  Burrett sat in a leather desk chair, feet up on a metal prep-table. When Jayne entered, he lowered the two hundred year old magazine he was reading. He tossed it aside. “About time!”

  The doors behind Jayne slowed their swinging. She felt like she had just entered a saloon in an old western.

  “This is the end, Burrett. You can make it easy.”

  “The end? Jayne, you’re young. And with youth, you lack foresight. You see, this is only the beginning.”

  Jayne planted her best foot forward and crouched into her fight stance. Burrett squinted. “What—What are you doing?”

  “Let’s take care of it, Burrett. Right now.”

  “Cut it out, Jayne. I’m not going to fight you.” He widened his arms, displaying his aged body. “Look at me! I couldn’t fight you. I’m an old man. That’s why I build all these contraptions! They do my fighting for me.”

  He walked toward Jayne. She hated the fact that she found his brazen fearlessness intimidating.

  “I don’t want us to fight anymore. You passed my test, Jayne.”

  “The hell are you talking about?”

  “You’re incredible, Jayne. You’ve exceeded your training in a way most academy cadets could never fathom. You’ve got good instincts. And better than that, you’re a fast learner. That’s because I’m a good teacher.”

  Okay, Jayne thought. I’m going to let him monologue. I need to see where this is going. He’s expecting me to make the first move. That’s the trap.

  “What do you want, Burrett? That’s the only thing left about you I haven’t figured out.”

  “I want to forget. When you’re shunned by society for so long, everything about it reminds you of your pain. I want it destroyed. And once it’s destroyed, I’m running this son-of-a-bitching city like a king. And you can have it with me. I thought you’d be a good ally. And after all this, I know I was right.”

  “‘Ally’?”

  “Look at this way,” Burrett continued. “You survived. You made it here, to face me, despite my best efforts. I evaded you, despite your best efforts. We’re both good. We learn from each other. If we’re this good against each other, imagine how good we could be alongside each other.”

  Jayne thought back to what Vlad had told her, that she saw herself in Burrett. And Burrett had seen it, too. How had she been blind to it this whole time? The fear of that truth crept up Jayne’s spine like the scorpions of her childhood. And then the realization arrived. The realization that she had one asset that Burrett would never come close to matching.

  “You’re right, Burrett.” Jayne’s voice was deep and intimidating. Burrett froze. He was actually stunned to hear this. He didn’t know it’d be this easy. “I did learn a lot.” Jayne relaxed out of her fighting stance. “Every step of the way I had to think harder than I’ve ever thought before. I had to anticipate your next two or three moves at a time. My physical endurance was put through the most extreme conditions I’ve ever survived.”

  “I had to do it, Jayne. I don’t make rash decisions. I had to make sure we’d be a good team. Imagine what you could do with me by your side.”

  “But the truth is, Burrett, you’re a bad judge of character.” Jayne stared him down. “I’m not good enough to track you down. I never was. Not alone, anyway.” Burrett struggled to stay strong under Jayne’s glare. “I found you because I have a team. I have a brilliant hacker. I have a goofy, but ultimately courageous, connection to the black market. I have a stoned-out-of-his-mind engineering genius. I have a cop who understands right from wrong. I have more than you’ll ever have. You need me. But why would I ever need you?”


  Burrett broke free from Jayne’s gaze. He shrugged. “Alright.” He lifted an old-school volt-loaded revolver from the pocket of his coat. He aimed at her head. “Good game, Jayne.”

  ZWIFF! The whoosh through the air nearly sent Jayne into shock as a small electrically-charged pellet stuck into Burrett’s neck, sending one million volts through his body. He fell to his knees, grinding his teeth and using all his might to keep his eyes open. With all his strength, he held up the revolver and took aim once more.

  ZWIFF! One more charge, from the other end of the bakery, struck into Burrett’s back. Burrett screamed, low and guttural, as he fell face down onto the varmint-shit covered floor.

  Cameron walked up to Jayne from behind, stun gun in hand. “Now we’re even.”

  Alfonso emerged from around the corner of a row of ovens.

  Jayne couldn’t believe it, but at the moment she couldn’t believe anything. “Alfonso!?”

  “The one and only.” He smiled and ran to Jayne. They gave each other a huge bear hug.

  Cameron holstered the stun gun. “Those service bots wouldn’t quit. I asked Merry for backup. I was expecting Bill or Madison. But this day has already been full of surprises.”

  Alfonso nodded. “Alright, guys, we can have a reunion later. Preferably somewhere a little more lively.”

  “Agreed,” said Jayne. She laughed. “Check, please!”

  CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO

  Ridgeview General Hospital, L64, Theron Techcropolis, Armaros

  Cameron kept pulling through for Jayne. Once they had finally found and defeated Burrett, he turned his attention to making sure Fred was okay. When he found out through the still-developing police report that Fred had been taken to the decaying Sugar Hill Emergency Center on L17, he quickly deputized Fred and informed the force. All officers received treatment at Ridgeview General on L64. It was not only one of the most technically advanced hospitals in Theron Techcropolis, but above most of the smog.

  According to Cameron, Fred’s chances of a quick and full recovery would increase ten-fold at Ridgeview.

  Jayne checked her comm. She had been in the waiting room outside the ICU for three hours. She was starting to get antsy. There were only so many magazines stored on the hospital’s publication tablets, and Jayne was down to Macramé Monthly and Banjo Enthusiast. She had saved those to last for a reason, but she’d read about the history of the six-string zither banjo if it meant keeping her mind off Fred.

  Every wheelchair, every stretcher, every patient hobbling on crutches that passed her gave Jayne a combined shock of excitement and dread. She wanted each and every one to be Fred, but was met with relief when they weren’t. The longer she didn’t know about Fred’s current status, the easier it was for her to hope for a miraculous recovery.

  She reached for her third cup of weak hospital kava, only to remember it was empty. That’s why she had set it down in the first place. She tossed the empty cup across the waiting room and landed a perfect shot into the trash bin.

  “Three for three. I hope Fred’s having as much luck.”

  Jayne was surprised when a human nurse, and not a medical droid, stepped into the waiting room. She read off a tablet. “Miss... Miss Austin?”

  Jayne leapt up, “Yes! That’s me.”

  The nurse smiled. “Mr. Baggins is ready.”

  “Oh, thank you so much. For a minute there I was about to become a banjo expert. How’s he doing?”

  “Pleased to report he’s doing very well. In fact, the doctors have approved his leave. Just make sure he gets plenty of rest. No excitement.”

  “Oh, of course.” She hid her smirk, knowing good and well she was dragging Fred and the rest of the crew out to a bar that night.

  Jayne imagined a dramatic reunion. Fred would be covered head to toe in bandages. He’d hold out a weak hand for Jayne to grab. He would whisper something, faintly. Jayne would lean close to hear him say, “You… must go on… and fight… you must… protect… the good and innocent.” Jayne got a little misty-eyed just thinking about it.

  She mentally prepared herself as she walked down the hallway toward Room 77B. She took a deep breath at the door and let herself in.

  “Whaazzup?” Fred was alive, sitting upright, and fully cognizant. Maybe a little slurry on pain meds, but otherwise very much back to normal. He paused an Augmented Reality game of Tetris he was halfway through and set its projection console on the bed stand.

  “Well, you look… great, honestly.”

  “Dude, I feel great. They put a needle in me full of sunshine juice. Made the pain go bye-bye.”

  Jayne rolled her eyes and chuckled to herself. Fred was not built for drugs. “Okay, Fred. Glad you’re feeling better.”

  Fred smiled. A moment later, he suddenly had a grave expression on his face. “I heard you got Burrett? Like definitely got him?”

  Jayne sat down at the end of the bed. For the first time in forty-eight hours she felt how tired she was. “That’s right. He’s with Dr. Ford now. Apparently, there’s a process of cryo preparation that lasts a couple days.”

  “Are you serious? Why don’t they just freeze that bastard now?”

  “No one freezes the same. They have to monitor his heart rate, lung capacity, blood flow. Kidney function. Brain activity. If they try to wing it all they get is a human popsicle.”

  “Doesn’t sound that bad. He almost turned me into a human barbecue.”

  Jayne laughed at that one, hard. “I’m glad you’ve still got your sense of humor.”

  “But once he’s frozen… he is frozen for good… right?”

  “That’s the plan. But they have to keep him alive. After all, this is for the investors. They have to prove the validity of their methods. For most people, cryo sounds like a lot of mumbo jumbo.”

  A knock at the door mercifully brought their attention away from Burrett. Cameron stood there with a bouquet of flowers. “Good morning, Fred! How are you feeling?”

  Jayne cut Fred off. “Fred told me they filled him with magic juice that made the pain go bye-bye.”

  “Oooh, that’s the good stuff.”

  Fred glared at Jayne. “Yeah, yeah. But I am feeling better. Thanks for asking.”

  “Oh!” Cameron handed the bouquet of white and pink lilies. “Got you some flowers.”

  “You already saved my life, that was enough!” Fred took the bouquet anyway and read the card. “’Congratulations, it’s a girl’. Huh?”

  “It was… the only bouquet left.”

  “So,” Jayne studied Cameron with concern. “Cameron. Why aren’t you at the office?”

  Cameron cleared his throat. “According to Captain Gold, Chief Bjornstrom put me on administrative leave. I caused too many problems with the Burrett case. She wants me away for a little bit until my newly-minted reputation as a ‘loose cannon’ blows over.”

  “Oh, Cameron. I’m so sorry. Did you get the promotion?” Jayne asked, but she already knew the answer.

  Cameron simply shook his head.

  “Man, that sucks.” Fred chided. “But being a loose cannon? That’s gotta feel cool. Maybe in my two-headed cop show, there will be a rival two-headed cop who are loose cannons. They—”

  Jayne raised her eyebrows. Fred blushed. “Okay, I think I’m going to ride out the rest of these pain meds in silence.”

  “Anyway, I’m honestly not that disappointed. And this administrative leave? A bit of a blessing in disguise. Just gives me more time to work with you.”

  Jayne went giddy. “Really?”

  “Yeah. To be honest, I felt like I was doing more good when I was working with you then I ever did on the force.”

  “Well. I think it's time we finally celebrate and unwind from the shit we got dragged through over the past few weeks.” Jayne turned to Fred. “You able to walk?”

  Fred smiled and gave Jayne and Cameron a thumbs up.

  +++

  Berty's Beer Bar, L45, Theron Techcropolis, Armaros

  “O
n your mark, get set…”

  Merry and Vlad sat across from each other, staring the other down from furrowed brows, hands gripped tight around tall glasses of beer.

  Jayne brought her hand down fast between them. “GO!”

  Fred, Jayne and Cameron shouted in unison, “TEN! NINE! EIGHT!” as Merry and Vlad chugged their beers. Jayne hadn’t played Blast Off since her earliest days at the Academy. She had seen it wipe out the toughest spies, so she was doubly impressed by Merry’s skill at the game. “SEVEN! SIX! FIVE! FOUR!”

  Merry gulped the last of her beer and set the glass on her table. Vlad had only managed half his beer, making him the loser, so now he had to take a shot. If Merry had also been unable to chug her beer in under ten seconds, then they both would have taken a shot.

  “When both players have to take a shot, that’s called a ‘Blast Off’.” Jayne finished explaining to Fred. “And if there’s a blast off, the two players must challenge each other again.”

  “How long does this game last before someone throws up?”

  Merry belched. “If you’re playing with me? About seven rounds.”

  Fred beamed. “I want to play!”

  “I don’t think so,” Vlad countered. He lit up a joint. He had learned that you could get away with smoking it in public if you had the confidence of an egomaniac, which he clearly did. “Alcohol and painkillers don’t mix. I would know. I spent the majority of my twenties on both.”

  Jayne slapped her palm down on the table as she stood up. “Alright, well I am not drunk enough, so excuse me while I take a quick trip to the bar.”

  The bartender had grown quite familiar with Jayne’s crew over the course of the last few months. They were shaping up to be his best customers. “Another round for Blast Off?” He started setting up the shot glasses.

  “Not yet. I think they need a break. But I would like…” She looked down the bar. A star sailor on leave had a tall, green iridescent cocktail. “What’s he having?”

  “That’s a Chamberlain.”

  “What?” Jayne’s heart stopped. The memory of waiting in the decrepit room with no company but Chamberlain’s corpse, his glassy eyes looking up at nothing, hit her like a brick. “I’m sorry?”