Compliant: A Young Adult Dystopian Romance (The State Series Book 1)

by M. J. Kaestli

  She sighed, irritated it was so obvious. “Ran out of water before I could rinse it.”

  “Hmm. Well, you can share my shower if you want,” he said with a smirk.

  “Thank you, but no.”

  He laughed. “Can’t blame a guy for trying, right?” He sat up. “If you go too early, the State House doors won’t open for you. Security.” He climbed wearily out of bed and shamelessly peeled off his clothes, down to his undershorts.

  Freya couldn’t handle that at the moment, so she hurried out of the bedroom and into the kitchen area. She made some tea and grabbed a breakfast bar, then turned on the monitor, hoping the news might distract her. There were no videos, but that wasn’t so odd; there usually weren’t, unless something major was happening. She scrolled through the columns of text, her eyes seeing everything out of focus, not really being able to read. Luckily, Colin didn’t take too long, and she hoped the brisk walk would make her feel better.

  As soon as they left the apartment, Colin grabbed her hand. She didn’t want him to touch her at the moment, but she figured if she jerked her hand away, it would only cause problems. She decided the best thing to do was to walk quickly, to get the hand-holding over with faster. Colin was tired and kept dragging behind her, but he wouldn’t let go of her hand.

  Suddenly, he gave a tug, forcing her to turn around. He moved his hand to the small of her back and wrapped his other arm around her, pulling her in close to him. “Freya, we’re still a bit early. If you walk that fast, you’re just going to be left standing outside the door,” he said, trying to force her to look at him.

  Freya kept her gaze off to the side, as there was something about the way he was holding her and talking to her that was not helping how she was feeling. She wanted that strange feeling to go away, not to add to it, and she knew if she looked at him, it would only get worse.

  Finally, he let go of her, but he kept her hand in his and walked slowly. “What’s with you today? Why are you so tense?”

  She stammered for a moment, having a hard time finding words. “I-I just didn’t sleep well.”

  They continued walking slowly, in absolute silence, until they got to the door where they were supposed to go their separate ways. He pulled her close to him again, but this time, instead of kissing her forehead like he did every day, he just stood there and held her tightly for a moment. When he finally loosened his hold on her, he leaned down and whispered in her ear, “I’m really sorry about last night. I know that was stupid, and I won’t do it again. Please don’t stay angry at me.”

  There was something about the way he held her and whispered that sent shivers down her spine.

  Colin pulled his upper body away from her slightly, so he could look her in the eyes. “I’ll see you tonight after you exercise.”

  Freya still could not bear to meet his gaze, but she nodded in response.

  He pulled her closer again, kissed her forehead, held her for another exaggerated moment, and finally let her go completely. As he walked away, part of Freya was sad to see him go.

  A minute or two later, she scanned in and headed toward the State House. Her mind was still trying to process everything, trying to figure out what was so different all the sudden. After she picked her tablet up from the docking station, she tried to focus on the day ahead of her, just the distraction she needed. Her duties for the day included going out to the grounds around the house and collecting soil samples and data on the plants. She was happy for that, as she wasn’t really in the mood for interacting with anyone.

  Freya tried to focus on her work, but her mind kept drifting to Colin. She had to be careful to catch herself and force her thoughts back to the task at hand. The morning passed slowly, in spite of her attempts to stay busy.

  When it was time for the afternoon meal, her tablet chimed, and she headed back to the house. She took her time walking up to the dining area, as she didn’t want to have to make idle chitchat with the other workers. When she arrived, her meal was already placed at the table, and most of the seats were filled. Moments after she sat down, Victor and James walked into the room and took their seats. Everyone began to eat, and conversations ensued around the table, but Freya only half-listened to them and didn’t offer much input of her own. She ate quickly and was waiting to be excused from the table. Her mind started to drift once more, and memories of her vivid dream kept flashing through her mind. She couldn’t push them out any longer, so she just let the images replay in her mind. Her mouth started to moisten, as if she was eating something delicious, and her body started to warm slightly.

  “Freya, I hope you have been keeping that fellow of yours in line,” said James.

  Freya jumped, startled at hearing her name. Her mind struggled to refocus on her surroundings. “Uh, what? Why?” she said, realizing she sounded like an idiot. She reached for her glass of water, only to clumsily knock it over, making a mess on the table. As people jumped up to assist in cleaning up the spilled water, Freya’s face turned a deep shade of scarlet. She continually muttered apologies to everyone and tried to help, but Amaia shooed her away, probably afraid she would do more damage than good.

  “You seem a bit off today, dear. Are you feeling unwell?” asked Amaia.

  “Sorry. No, I’m fine. I just didn’t sleep well last night,” she replied without meeting her gaze.

  “Freya, why don’t you take the rest of the afternoon off then? You could use some rest,” suggested Victor.

  “No, no, I’m fine. Really. I have a lot to do, and I don’t want to get behind on my work,” she said, not looking at him either.

  Suddenly, a sneaking feeling of shame washed over her. She looked around the table, feeling everyone’s eyes digging into her. Do they all know what happened last night? Do they know why I’m so distracted today? Her face blushed even more as paranoia took over, fear they all somehow knew where her naughty thoughts had just been.

  “You really do look off, Freya. I insist you take the rest of the day off. We can manage without you for just one afternoon, and I am sure you will catch up your work in no time once you feel better,” said Victor.

  Freya didn’t want to leave, but she also didn’t want to argue with him, so she nodded. For a brief moment, she chanced a look at James, who smiled pleasantly at her, then gave her a little wink. She did not know what to think of that. She wondered if he’d watched the video from their apartment last night or if that was simply one of his normal mannerisms. She looked over at Victor and nodded at him, then waved goodbye to everyone at the table. As she walked out of the room, she overheard James saying something about sleeping poorly because of Colin, and everyone laughed at his comment.

  Her pace quickened, as she did not want to be around any of them as they poked fun at her situation. Once her tablet was in place, she waited for Security to let her out the door. She walked so quickly that it was almost a jog back to the apartment. Without a single thought, she changed into her exercise clothing and headed straight to the facility. Without consulting the monitor or bothering with a proper warmup, she made her way straight to the track and took off at a full run. Running seemed to be the only thing that could clear her mind, but she’d learned her lesson last time about pushing herself too hard when she was upset. The rhythm of her feet hitting the ground helped, and it didn’t take long for her to start feeling better. Far too quickly, the monitor on her shirt beeped, telling her it was time to cool down. She knew better than to push it, or Colin would be sent down to get her, and that was the last thing she wanted. She also had no desire to vomit in the sink again.

  She went over to the mats and began to stretch. That was the one portion of her exercise she could do for an extended time without the monitor yelling at her, so she stretched, stretched, and stretched some more, then kept right on stretching. There was something about it that she also found soothing, but her muscles began to protest after she stretched for too long.

  On her way back to the apartment, Freya thought about the puzzles s
he could do to occupy her time. She had to force herself to think of things other than Colin.

  At the apartment, she walked into the bedroom and let out a little shriek when she saw Colin on the bed. “Why are you here?”

  Colin got up and shut the bedroom door, then walked back over to the side of the bed. “Um, I live here.”

  “Colin, you know what I mean. What are you doing here now?” she asked, rolling her eyes at him.

  “I got a call from the psychologist today,” he said, then paused and cast his gaze to the floor. “They said you were sent home from your civil duty, and they asked if I thought you should go in to talk to them. I said I would talk to you when I got home, so they sent me home early.” He paused again. “I decided it would be best to let you finish exercising before we talked.”

  “I don’t need to talk,” she replied, a little too sharply. “I told them not to send me home. I’m fine. I just didn’t sleep well last night.”

  “Well, if that’s true, perhaps you should rest.”

  Freya walked around to her side of the bed and lay down, with her back turned to him. Her eyes were wide open, her entire body tense, her breathing rapid.

  “That doesn’t look like relaxing to me,” Colin said. “You look…angry. Perhaps we should talk.”

  “I have nothing to say.”

  “So, you’re still mad at me?”

  “I’m not mad,” she said, sounding mad.

  “If you’re not mad, then why won’t you look at me?”

  “I just want to be alone right now.”

  “I get that, but considering I was sent home to talk to you, I can’t leave you here alone.”

  “I know that!” she snapped at him.

  “Okay then. I’ll just stay here and read on my tablet. You can pretend I’m not here.”

  Freya did not respond. Instead, she just continued trying to get her breathing under control. It sounded to her like he had gotten his tablet, but other than his movements, he remained silent. Eventually, her body relaxed, and her mind started to drift a. She was very tired, so she thought perhaps sleep wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Not long after that thought, she was only half-conscious. Colin reached around her and tucked in next to her. If she weren’t already half-asleep, she would have fought him off, but she was too tired to remember that she didn’t want him there.

  She slept dreamlessly, until Colin woke her up, standing beside the bed with a plate of food. She sat up and took the plate from him.

  He walked over to his side of the bed and sat with his back against the wall to eat his meal.

  The two of them ate in silence, and as soon as they were finished, he took both of their plates and returned with two glasses of water.

  Still not wanting to interact with him, she rolled over on her side again and looked at the wall.

  “Okay, Freya, you can’t ignore me forever, so talk. Tell me what a jerk I am. Tell me you hate me. I don’t care what you tell me. Just say something.”

  Freya remained silent. She was not sure why she was so angry, but she couldn’t help the way she felt.

  “Freya, the psychologist will call tomorrow to follow up. We have to talk. Don’t you understand that?”

  “So report me then.” She still wouldn’t look at him.

  He suddenly grabbed her and pulled her into the center of the bed, forcing her onto her back. She fought him for only a second before he grabbed her hands, once again pinning her. He moved his face close to hers, forcing her to look at him. “Freya, you know I won’t report you. We’re going to talk, whether you like it or not,” he said, then paused, still forcing her to look at him. “I’m not letting go of you until you talk to me.”

  Colin moved both of her hands above her head, so he could hold on to them with one hand. His other hand moved to the side of her face. She expected him to force her face toward his, but his touch was gentle; he softly caressed her cheek, gently encouraging her to look at him. She finally gave in and looked at him, her heart racing. His face was merely inches from hers. He slowly let go of her wrists and slid his hand around till their fingers were interlocked, then lowered his arm slightly. Her hand that was now free somehow found its way onto his arm. He slowly closed the gap between them and gently pressed his lips against hers. It only lasted for a moment before he pulled away and looked at her again.

  A natural instinct Freya didn’t know she had, suddenly kicked in. She slid her hand from his arm to his face, then into his thick hair, and pulled him back down toward her.

  Colin’s kiss was much deeper this time, almost hungry. He pulled away from her momentarily and shifted so he was lying on his side, then pulled so her body was pressed up against his once again. His hand moved down to her waist, and then he slipped his hand under her shirt and slowly began to move it upward on her bare skin. “Tell me if you want me to stop,” he whispered between kisses.

  Her mind comprehended both what he had said, and why he had said it, what all of this was leading up to, yet she could not come up with a single protest. She wasn’t acting from a place of logic, but from a place of desire; her thoughts were silenced. Never before had she experienced the sensations now going through her body. A strange combination of butterflies in her stomach, but also a deep pull in her core to feel his body next to hers. What she had experienced during Colin’s little kissing experiment hardly held a candle to what she felt now.

  He pressed her onto her back again and began to kiss her neck, down to her collarbone, then back to her lips. His other hand slipped under her already raised shirt, on the other side. He slowly continued to lift her shirt until it was under her arms. Colin pulled away from their kiss and looked at her for a moment, then lifted her slightly and slid her shirt completely off. He paused again momentarily, and she reached out and pulled him back to her. His hands gently slid around her body, and he slipped his fingers into the waistband of her pants and began to tug down on them gently.

  “Do you want me to stop?” he asked, almost breathless, as he pulled away from her again.

  “No,” she replied simply, and she kissed him again.

  Chapter 10

  Freya awoke the next morning to Colin climbing back into bed. There were a few things about it that just didn’t seem right to her. First, he never woke up before her. How could he possibly have gotten up first? He always waits for the second alarm. Then, she noticed he was actually dressed in sleepwear, which was definitely not what he was wearing when they fell asleep.

  As the fog of sleep started to clear from her head, Colin pulled her next to him and kissed her. “Morning.”

  “Why are you up, and what are you wearing?”

  “Freya, this is sleeping attire for males, provided by the State. What else should I be wearing at this hour?”

  “Why are you wearing it?”

  “Good point. Why am I wearing it?” he said with a naughty gleam in his eyes, then climbed out of bed and undressed, discarding the clothing onto the floor.

  Freya quickly looked away, as seeing him strip down to his undershorts was something she was just getting used to, and now, it seemed to be just another big adjustment.

  He crawled back into bed and looked at her.

  “Okay, so let’s try this again. Why were you wearing it? You never wear that to bed.”

  “Well, you didn’t expect me to call into Security naked, did you?”

  “And why exactly were you calling in?”

  “I had to talk to the psychologist.”

  Her heart stopped momentarily.

  Colin noticed the panicked look on her face, chuckled a little, and pulled her closer to him. “She asked me to report in this morning, after we talked last night.”

  “What did you tell her?”

  “I told her we talked and that things have improved, but I thought it would be best if we spend the day together to finish sorting things out,” he said in a serious tone. Then, the smile he had been repressing crept onto his face.

  “You sai
d what!”

  “You heard me. She agreed that we should spend a little more time together to hash these issues out. She is alerting the people at our civil duties. Since tomorrow is our free day anyway, we have exactly two days to work out our, uh…issues.”

  “I can’t believe you did that. You just lied to the psychologist!”

  “Well, she started off by asking if we needed more time, so I just agreed that it would be best. I told her I feel quite confident we can handle the situation and no further support from the State is necessary.” He kissed her and slid his hands around her body. “So what do you want to do for the next two days, under the sanction of the State, I might add? How can we work this out?” He leaned over lower to nibble on her neck.

  “We really don’t have to go anywhere today?”

  “Nope, and I think you should take the day off from exercise as well. We don’t want to give anyone the idea that we aren’t talking like we should be.”