Compliant: A Young Adult Dystopian Romance (The State Series Book 1)

by M. J. Kaestli

  Freya’s head snapped away from his embrace, and she stared at him in shock. “Why do you think anyone would threaten me?” she asked with a little too much volume.

  “Shh! Freya, you have to keep it down. The last thing we need is for the cameras to pick this up,” he cautioned, then kissed her on the forehead. “I was just worried about you today.”

  Freya turned around and shut off the water. They had barely been in there for a few minutes, and their showers were usually quite intimate, but she certainly wasn’t feeling the least bit intimate at that moment.

  Colin silently toweled off and followed her to the bedroom. After they both dressed, he lay down on the bed, but Freya preferred to pace the room.

  “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

  “That depends. Can you keep your temper in check and control your volume?”

  She paced the floor a few times more. In fact, she was not yet ready to control her volume or temper. “Why does everyone know things about me that I don’t? And don’t say anything to me about me being a poster child. I got enough of that from Victor today.”

  “He didn’t…did he?” Colin asked with amusement. “You have to admit, it’d be kind of funny if he stole my term.”

  She stopped pacing and shot daggers at him with her eyes.

  “Okay, bad joke, but what did he actually say?” He leaned forward in anticipation.

  “First, tell me what’s going on,” Freya shot at him in a loud, angry whisper.

  “I will, but I really need to know what he said. I have an idea of what it’s about, but I can’t be sure.”

  Freya stopped pacing and looked out the window. She did not want to be mean to Colin, as her temporary layoff was certainly not his fault, but she was angry, and he was there, the only person she could unleash her fury on at the moment. It was hard for her to not take her emotions out on him. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself, then explained, “He said something about it not being safe with all the extra workers, a higher security risk or something. He doesn’t want any casualties,” she said, still looking out the window. “When I asked what’s going on, he just patronized me like a child and said something about me being pure.”

  Colin remained silent for a moment and just nodded. Finally, he replied, “Well, I can see why that pissed you off.”

  That did it, and Freya turned around sharply and snapped, “That’s it! That’s all you have to say?”

  “Freya! Volume…temper.”

  She turned back around to look out the window. She no longer had to worry about taking out her temper on him, as he was suddenly the cause of it.

  “I said I would explain, and I will. Please just come and lie down. There is no need to be mad, as this really has nothing to do with you.”

  She continued to stare out the window. Until some actual information was given to her, there was no way she was going to crawl into bed with him.

  “Fine. Here’s the deal. Not everyone is happy with the way things are being run. I know you love order, rules, systems, and regulations, but not everyone feels that way. Victor calls you pure, and I call you a poster child, but we have good reason. You would never, ever think to fight the system. You’ve done everything right in your life, and you’re happy and content, for the most part, but that’s not how a lot of people feel,” he said in a soft, even tone.

  When he paused, Freya turned and looked at him in confusion, still not understanding. “What are you saying? That someone is going to attack the State House or something? That’s stupid,” she spat at him.

  “No, it’s actually not. That is exactly why he sent you home. If there is an attack or assassination attempt… Well, he just wants to keep you out of harm’s way. If you ask me, it’s a pretty decent move for a ruthless dictator. Historically, most of them would have gladly used their personal staff as human shields.” He then fell silent but held her gaze.

  Freya needed a moment to process the information, so she turned back to the window. “You really think something could have happened?”

  “I don’t know, but it is possible. Like I said, it was decent of him to send all nonessential staff away.”

  She turned back around. “All? So he sent others home too?”

  “Well, you are really the only one who had to be. Technically, you should be there, as they are working in gardens you take care of. Everyone else, besides the cooks and Security, already received notice to take two days off. He must have gotten uncomfortable with you out there, or else Security raised an alert. I don’t actually know why he let you show up, just to send you away.”

  “James thinks he’s being overly cautious,” she blurted.

  “Then it probably wasn’t a Security alert. Maybe he’s just being extra careful.”

  Freya remained silent for a while, trying to sort it out in her head. Suddenly, a new thought dawned on her. “Colin, why did you ask if someone threatened me?”

  Colin let out a sigh. “Sometimes the rebellion doesn’t always just go for the leader. Sometimes they go for his staff. I don’t think you’re a target, but it wouldn’t be the first time.”

  “What? Are you serious? When has that ever happened? I’ve never heard of it before, not even in history class. Has anyone ever attacked the State before?”

  “Please come to bed, Freya. I just want to lie next to you,” he asked in a slightly whiny tone.

  “Answer me first.”

  “Fine. Yes, there have been assassinations, both head of State and staff. Staff have been taken hostage, Freya. I don’t know if you realize it, but the females who work in the State House are coupled with Security officers. Maybe they think we can protect you or something,” he said with a shrug. “I think that is also why you don’t have a symbol on your uniform—it would make you easier to target if people could tell you worked at the State house simply by what you wore.”

  Freya knew she should lie down with him, but she wasn’t ready to. She needed to understand. “How can that be possible? I have never heard any of this.”

  “The education you were given was for a greenhouse worker, Freya. They only educate people for what they need to know to play their role. They no longer publicize attacks or assassinations, as it would only empower the rebellion. The masses are only told if a new head of State is assigned, and they are never told why. The only people who know what really happens are Security officers and the people who are tasked with cleaning up the destruction.”

  Tears began to flow freely down her face, and she felt like she had been stabbed in the gut. “So everything I’ve been told my entire life is a lie?”

  “I’m not a lie. I love you, and that’s real. What we have is real, Freya. I can’t speak for the State. I don’t even know if I’ve been told the truth or if they’ve just fed me information to keep me in order, as a fear tactic,” he answered truthfully. “Please come lie with me, Freya.” He begged again, patting the bed beside him.

  Finally, she complied.

  Colin pulled her in close and held her tightly. He stroked her hair and continually kissed her softly on the forehead. When her crying finally died down, he pulled away slightly and looked into her eyes, still gently caressing her face. “I was so scared today. I don’t ever want to lose you,” he whispered. “Can you do me a favor?”

  She looked at him, puzzled, but nodded.

  “If you ever get sent out like that again, can you please go to a common room until I come for you?”

  A jolt shot through Freya’s body at the odd request. “What? Why?”

  “Freya, if I cannot be with you, the common rooms are the safest places for you. Security is higher in community areas. I need to know you are protected,” he answered, not rising to her outburst.

  She had risen on one elbow and was staring past Colin. “Victor recommended that I enjoy some of my free time in a common room,” she said, almost more to herself than to Colin.

  “Well, like I said, he does some surprisingly kind things for a dicta
tor. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but I usually get sent home from work if you do. Today, they needed a lot of extra Security personnel at the State House, so it was hard for them to find someone to replace me. When I found out you had left without an escort, it just made me feel sick…and of course, because you are you, you went to the least secure area possible,” he said with a sarcastic laugh. “Part of me wished you had just stayed at the State House. At least there was more Security there.”

  “You really think something could happen to me, that I could be a target?”

  “Like I said, it’s happened before. The mentality of some sects of the rebellion is that if they can’t take out the leader, they will cripple his resources. If they kill the best, most loyal members of his house, it makes it easier to get to him.”

  “But I’m only a gardener!”

  “But you’re still one of his staff.”

  “Why hasn’t anyone at the State House told me anything before this? They don’t seem to be too scared.”

  “Maybe they don’t know. I mean, I’m not even really supposed to be telling you any of this, so maybe no one told them either. Victor didn’t tell you everything. He just wants to protect you and doesn’t want you living in fear.”

  “If you aren’t supposed to tell me, why did you?” she asked. “Why put yourself at risk? You could be punished for leaking information, can’t you?”

  “Because I know you better than Victor does. Where did you go when he refused to give you information? Oh yeah! I remember, and it wasn’t where he told you to go. No, that would have been what any normal person would do.” He shot her a stern look. “I know you well enough to know that I can’t protect you unless you understand that you need protection and why. I know that the only way you will listen to me is if you understand why I’m asking you to do something. He made a mistake. He forgot that you are highly introverted, so the last place you’d ever want to go is to a common room.”

  “I guess you have a point,” she said with a shrug.

  Colin laughed and shook his head. “Woman, you are the most difficult, pigheaded person I have ever met, and that’s kind of ironic, considering you’re also a poster child,” he teased with a smirk. He then grabbed her and rolled on top of her. “I think we should enjoy what’s left of our extra free time today,” he said, then began to kiss her. “I do have to work tomorrow though. Will you be a good girl and try to make friends in the common room?”

  “Why can’t I just stay here? What if I don’t leave to exercise? Will that make you happy?”

  “Nope. Common room, Freya. Please just go.”

  “What if I don’t?”

  “Then I will have no choice but to withhold sex,” he responded with a grin.

  She burst out laughing in response to that idle threat.

  “I’ll do it…and you’ll be sorry! You may not think so, but you’ll miss it.”

  “I’m sure you will, Colin. I’m really scared of what life will be like without you constantly pestering me.”

  “Fine, I won’t, but please just do it anyway…for me.”

  “Okay. I’ll go, even though I think it’s stupid and that you and Victor are being paranoid. I’d be just fine here, and you know it,” she replied in a slightly condescending voice.

  “And you questioned why I told you. Damn it, woman! Even when you know all the facts, you are still difficult,” he said then began kissing her again.

  Freya decided he did make one good point. We might as well enjoy the extra free time, even if we can’t agree.

  Chapter 12

  The next morning, Freya did not protest; she simply got up with Colin and let him walk her to the closest common room. She scanned in, and Colin kissed her goodbye.

  “Now, you’ll stay here till I come for you tonight, right?”

  She nodded, hating she was being forced to spend an entire day doing something she wouldn’t enjoy. She understood why Colin asked her to, but that didn’t mean she liked it. She still felt everyone was overreacting, but she was willing to do it, for him.

  “’Kay, well, be a good girl. You never know. You might actually like it.”

  “I seriously doubt that,” she replied, then let go of his hand and stepped inside.

  Colin waited for a moment, watching her, then waved briefly before he turned to leave.

  The common room was exactly what she expected it to be: boring. The only interesting part was observing who was there. Freya assumed most people would be busy with their civil duties, but there was an eclectic mix of people. She had forgotten that different civil duties were done at different times or that some people worked longer than others. That somehow took away from the ideology that every civilian was equal.

  As she worked on a puzzle alone, she overheard conversations about people’s different lives. It sounded like Colin had the best hours and less of them, especially for someone working in Security. She figured that had to be because of her and her work schedule at the State House. If what Colin had said was correct, he worked less hours in order to keep an eye on her.

  At mealtime, she got in line and scanned in so the cook would be informed of the parameters of her meal. Every person ate the same thing, but the portions were calibrated based on age, build, and physical activity. She couldn’t help but notice that the meal was slightly larger than usual, with more protein, so she assumed it was because of her run the previous day.

  Freya sat at a table in the center of the room with her back to the entrance and ate her meal alone. A lot of people looked at her, and some smiled or nodded, but no one spoke to her. Really, that suited her just fine. The last thing she wanted, after overhearing their discussions, was for them to find out she worked at the State House, as she was sure some of them would feel resentful. Not only did she work fewer hours in a week, but she got random extra time off, and she had a partner with a schedule very similar to her own. After she ate, she continued to sit alone, working on puzzle after puzzle, only looking up to watch the clock.

  Freya glanced at the clock again and saw a woman coming around a corner near the back of the room. The lady sat at the table across from Freya. There was something familiar about her, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. She thought it had to be someone she had been educated with, as she looked close to Freya’s age. Freya returned to her puzzle, but her mind drifted back to her younger years, when she was educated and worked in the greenhouse and had her own apartment. Then, it suddenly struck her. She quickly looked up at the woman, and a second glance confirmed that the woman was, in fact, the girl Colin was with when he was caught, Ida.

  A soft smile crept across her face as memories of her earlier times with Colin flooded back into her head. He had proudly told her that other women loved him, and he had no shame in telling her she should feel lucky to be with him. He was so arrogant back then, and she was glad some of that had worn off. She wasn’t sure if he had changed or if she had grown accustomed to him, but it certainly seemed he was different than he used to be. Freya returned her attention to her puzzle and sat contentedly, reminiscing over the past.

  “Hey, Colin,” Ida said in a sickly sweet voice.

  Instead of looking for Colin—knowing he must have just arrived and was standing behind her, Freya’s head snapped up to look at the source.

  “Long time, no see. I’ve missed you,” Ida said in a baby-like voice.

  Freya’s emotions went from surprise to disgust when it became obvious that Ida must still have feelings for him. She was sure Ida had to be coupled with someone else, or she would not have been in that particular common room.

  “Oh, hi. Yeah, it’s been a while, I guess,” Colin replied in a polite but distant fashion, his body stiff and rigid, as if he was on guard. He hurried over to Freya and stood beside her, then gently put his hand on her shoulder. “Ready to go?”

  Freya did not speak, she just looked him directly in the eyes and nodded. Colin looked exceptionally uncomfortable, and that was how she was starting to
feel. The sooner they left, the better off they would both be.

  “But you just got here,” Ida whined. “Don’t leave me here all alone,” she said, speaking like a small child who did not want to go to bed. “I haven’t seen you for months. Stay and catch up with me, Colin.”

  Freya’s eyes bugged at her last statement. They had been coupled for some time now, so she wondered when Colin had last seen this Ida character.

  “Sorry, but we really have to get going,” he said, then impatiently grabbed Freya’s elbow, trying to pull her off the seat.

  Freya’s instinct was to pull her elbow away, but she hesitated for a moment, then got up. The last thing they needed was for anyone to see her being openly confrontational.