Defying Gravity: An Ice Tigers Hockey Novel

by Isabella Cassazza

  My gut clenches when I realize how close we came to being outed. Tyler had been about to kiss me. If this pap had gotten a shot of us kissing… fuck. The little lady saved our sorry asses for real.

  “What’s your name?” Tyler asks her, pulling out of the parking lot.

  “I’m Lily.” She smiles at him, then turns to me. “I’m so sorry. That must have been awful to watch. I didn’t know what else to do. I wasn’t really thinking and didn’t have time and—”

  I stop her. She’s babbling and blushing, looking rather cute, but she didn’t do anything wrong—quite the opposite.

  “Hey, you have nothing to apologize for. Ty’s right. You saved us. If it hadn’t been for your quick thinking… well, let’s say you saved us a lot of trouble. Nice to meet you, Lily. I’m Danny.”

  “Nice to meet you too.” She smiles back at me. I take in her beautiful doll-like features as city lights illuminate the car. She’s a real beauty, even more so than I thought at first. Her skin is flawless and creamy white—a stark contrast to her black curls. Combined with those big Crayola blue eyes, she’s absolutely stunning. She is a girl I’d have gone for in the past, before I met Ty.

  “Since we’re all apologizing now, I’m sorry for kissing you. That was uncalled for. I panicked. Hopefully it wasn’t too awkward for you. But I figured if you could tell we’re a couple, the pap could tell as well.” Ty squeezes her hand briefly before shifting his attention back to the road.

  “No.” She blushes again. “Don’t worry, nothing to apologize for. I mean, it wasn’t terrible….” She’s blushing even more, her cheeks all pink now as she plays with her hair, wrapping a long curl around her finger.

  I stop her before she begins to babble again. “He’s every woman’s dream, isn’t he? But not into them. If they only knew.”

  She laughs. “It’s so ironic. I’d love to see their faces when told he isn’t interested at all.”

  I instantly like her sense of humor and her down-to-earth demeanor. “Thank God you’re a hockey fan and recognized Ty right away.”

  “Actually, I’m not… or wasn’t. A fan, that is. Tonight was my first hockey game. I only recognized you because of the headshot on the jumbotron after the goal.”

  “Then that has to be the most important goal of my career,” he says, winking at her. I can tell he has taken to her too by the way he looks at her.

  Tyler isn’t usually open with people in the beginning. Being in the closet for such a long time does that to a person. He’s become a perfectionist about hiding his real emotions and feelings out of fear of giving himself away. Even with me, he didn’t open up immediately. He doesn’t seem to have those inhibitions with Lily, though. There’s something about her. She’s sweet and innocent and seems incapable of scheming. I’m 100 percent sure she’s a trustworthy person. She won’t give us away, not for all the money in the world.

  “Can you let me out at the next bus stop?”

  “Absolutely not,” Tyler and I say at the same time, our eyes meeting in the rearview mirror again. I smile at him, and he smiles right back.

  “But I need to go back to the parking lot and get my coworker’s car.”

  Right, she was in a parking lot and we kind of carted her off. “No way we’re letting you out in the middle of the night at a random bus stop, Lily.”

  “I really need to get the car. My coworker needs it tomorrow.”

  Tyler scratches his chin. “We’ll take you back later. But we can’t go right now anyway. The pap could still be around.”

  He’s right. We can’t take the risk after having dodged that bullet.

  “Come home with us for now. Ty needs to eat after the game, and everything is already prepared. We’ll have dinner, and afterward, we’ll drive you back.”

  She looks from me to Ty and back at me.

  “Come on, Lily. You’re completely safe with us, and I make a mean chicken souffle that’s waiting right now to be warmed up and devoured.” Tyler winks at her again.

  She looks down at her hands, and I prepare a speech in my head to convince her, but then she says, “All right, chicken souffle it is. But I’m not sure I can eat much more after the all-you-can-eat buffet in the VIP skybox.”

  “You were in the VIP area?” Now I’m stunned. As far as I know, VIP tickets cost a fortune. She doesn’t strike me as a rich girl. Her clothes look ordinary. Her blue coat looks worn, and its bright blue color isn’t the latest fashion either.

  “Yeah, my boss gave us the tickets. He knows someone in the organization. His name is Ryan Turner.”

  “Wait. Ryan Turner? Isn’t that the horse guy? Olympic champion and God knows what else he’s won?”

  “Yup, that’s him. He’s a huge hockey fan, and I think he’s also a sponsor for the Ice Tigers.”

  “So you work for an Olympic champion. What is your job exactly?” Tyler slows the car down as the traffic light in front of us turns red.

  “I’m an assistant trainer. I ride Ryan’s younger horses and help ease their way into competitions.”

  “You must be highly talented if you work for such a big name,” he says.

  Lily shakes her head. “I still have a lot to learn. But working with Ryan is great. He’s a good teacher.”

  “I met him a couple of times after games. He’s a die-hard hockey fan and passionate about the Ice Tigers. Nice guy.”

  “You never told me about him.” My pulse quickens. This again shows me how little I’m involved in Ty’s hockey life. I’ve been to some of the games, but he’s never introduced me to any of his teammates or other people involved with the team.

  “He’s just a sponsor, as Lily said. One who’s involved because he truly loves the sport and not for any other reasons.”

  “I see.” What’s left for me to say anyway? It proves again what I already know—he doesn’t want to involve me in his hockey world. An awkward silence settles in the car.

  “What do you do for a living, Danny?” Lily turns to me again.

  I’m thankful for her question. “I’m a physiotherapist and personal trainer. I work for a private clinic.”

  “Is that how you met each other?”

  I hesitate, not sure whether to respond or not. I’m simply not used to talking about Ty and me. We’ve never told anyone about our relationship, let alone how we met. Ty insisted from the beginning that no one could know about us, so I haven’t told family and friends. To them, I’m a happily single guy. There aren’t many friends left after almost two years of hiding who I am anyway. People sense when you’re not entirely open with them and hiding parts of your personality. It’s easier to have only acquaintances who don’t have any expectations and don’t want to discuss every aspect of your life. It somehow has become my reality. I’m missing any real friends besides Tyler in my life, and I can’t help the bitter feelings welling up thinking about that.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t want to be nosey. You really don’t have to answer.” Lily seems to sense my bitter thoughts.

  Before I can reply, Tyler surprises me. “Don’t apologize, Lily. Danny has never told anyone how we met. No one knows we’re a couple. Well, no one but you.”

  “Wait, even your families don’t know about you?” Her mouth falls open.

  Ty shakes his head. “No, I don’t have any family left, and I’ve asked Danny not to tell his folks or his friends. There’s too much at stake for me.”

  Lily looks stunned. “I’m not sure what to say. You really must love Tyler, Danny, to put up with that. But I guess when you’ve found that special person, you’re willing to make it work no matter what, right?”

  I nod, my throat constricting all of a sudden. Hearing it from someone else makes me realize how hard the past year or so has been for me and how much the secrecy has taken a toll on me.

  “I love Danny more than my life, and I hate what he has to endure to be with me. I wish I could change the world. That we didn’t have to hide. But the league isn’t ready for an openly gay player.
”

  A sense of weightlessness strikes my heart, and my eyes well up at the same time. Hearing him say it means the universe to me.

  “I love you,” I mouth, meeting Ty’s eyes in the rearview mirror. He gives me that warm smile of his, and I fall in love with him even more.

  “Now, to answer your question, Lily.” Ty clears his throat. “Yes, that’s how we met. I had double hip surgery two years ago, and Danny became my physiotherapist during rehab.”

  My eyes overflow and tears slip down my cheeks. He’s not only acknowledged us but told Lily how we met. Happiness washes over me in big waves. Only one person knows about us, but it’s one more person than this morning, and one person who genuinely matters even though we’ve known her for less than an hour.

  “Thank you for telling me. I won’t tell anyone.” Lily smiles at Tyler. She then turns to me and places her hand over mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I admire your strength.”

  I give her a watery smile, overwhelmed by her gentleness, and I know for sure that we’ve found someone extraordinary in her.

  Chapter Four

  Tyler

  “I’m in love with my chicken souffle.” I put my fork down and rub my stomach.

  “You’re so full of yourself.” Danny chuckles. “But I’ll give you that. I adore your cooking too.”

  “So delicious.” Lily leans back in her chair.

  “Says the one who has hardly eaten anything.” Danny laughs.

  “I had a burger and several of the salmon pikelets earlier, and just for your information, that was a big portion for me. Someone could feed a whole family with what you two have just wolfed down.”

  Wolfed down? Well that’s a new one. I have to keep that in mind for the next team dinner.

  Watching Lily and Danny interact brings a big smile to my face. I can’t remember the last time Danny and I were so relaxed during a meal. The conversation has flowed smoothly, and it seems as if we’ve known Lily for forever, not just a few hours. Danny is beaming and laughing, and my heart is bursting with love for this man.

  I don’t think I’ve ever felt as comfortable with a new person before. There’s just something about Lily, something I can’t put my finger on. I’m glad she’s opened up to us so fast, overcoming her initial shyness. I can tell she doesn’t like to talk about herself, but between the two of us, we’ve managed to make her feel comfortable. Her eyes sparkle in the candlelight, and she looks radiant and a little flushed, having laughed a lot as well.

  This morning I’d thought I’d lost everything, feeling hopeless and devasted. Mere hours later, my world is bright again, shining with laughter and full of hope due to a pint-sized woman. If it hadn’t been for her quick-thinking, things would be different right now. I’d probably be looking at the shattered pieces of my life, facing an epic media shitstorm. A shiver crawls down my spine just thinking about the possible consequences.

  “Everything okay?” Lily seems to have a sixth sense for picking up other people’s emotions.

  “Thanks to you, yes. I’m so glad you stepped in when you did, Lily.” I lean closer to her, and a light flowery scent hits me. She smells fresh, sweet, and innocent, a fragrance fitting her persona.

  The next words are out of my mouth before I fully realize I’ve spoken them. “Why did you interfere earlier? I mean, there are no words to describe how grateful we are, but we were strangers to you.”

  She fidgets with her hands while looking down at them. I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable; I’ve enjoyed the evening too much to ruin it now. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

  “No, it’s okay. I’d ask the same question. It’s a long story, though.”

  “We have nowhere to go.” I’m intrigued and hope my encouragement will help her. I don’t know why I want to understand her reasons for stepping in so badly, but they seem essential.

  “All right.” She takes a deep breath. “First of all, I think that no one’s private life should be displayed and talked about in tabloids if they don’t want that. But that’s not my main reason.”

  She stands up and walks over to the big front window overlooking the Charles River. She twists her hands together nervously as she stares into the night sky. My gaze finds Danny’s, but he shakes his head, telling me with his eyes to give her all the time she needs.

  “I had a friend in high school. Her name was Nathalie.”

  She pauses and takes another deep breath, but then the words pour out of her. “We met in kindergarten and quickly became best friends, the kind who always played together and often met at home. I practically lived at her house at some point. Her parents owned a horse farm back then, and her dad, Peter, was a riding instructor. When I got older, I started to help out at the farm, and in return, I received riding lessons for free. My dad left my mom when I was five and never paid a cent of child support. Mom worked two jobs to support us, and riding is an expensive sport. If it hadn’t been for Nathalie, I don’t think I’d have been able to go riding, and I’d have never found my passion. Peter sensed my talent and let me ride highly talented young horses. Without his help, I wouldn’t be where I am right now.”

  She pauses again, and her shoulders tremble.

  “Anyway, when we were fifteen, Nathalie started to change radically. She dressed differently and only wore baggy jeans and loose shirts. She cut her hair short and started to act like a boy, if that makes any sense.” She looks briefly at us, and I nod absently to reassure her.

  “Before her overnight transformation, we always talked about everything, but she didn’t include me in what was going on this time. I knew she was hiding something, but I didn't dare to ask her about it. I felt left out and rejected. Looking back, I should have been more persistent and asked her what the hell was going on. Perhaps I could have prevented what happened then.”

  She swallows and clears her throat before continuing to speak.

  “A photo went viral at school. Someone had printed it out and hung it on the noticeboard. Nathalie was on it with an older girl. They were kissing each other—passionately kissing. That’s when the bullying started. Some real idiots in our class made fun of her constantly. Called her a whore. Accused her of sleeping with women for money. Called her a ‘bean flicker’ and worse. It was all bullshit, but once rumors float around, it’s hard to control them.”

  Her hands clench and unclench as she takes another break from speaking, bracing herself for what’s to come. I can barely breathe as it is, but my gut tells me this story is going to get even worse.

  “Because everyone knew we were friends, they tried to drag me into it as well. Nathalie didn’t want that. She was a true friend, putting me before herself. She distanced herself from me and shut me out completely, refusing any contact. She didn’t even acknowledge me in the hallway anymore. I know now that she did it to protect me, but back then the rejection stung. I wanted so badly to help her, but she wouldn’t let me.”

  My heart goes out to her. What Nathalie went through is my worst nightmare come true. Lily’s shoulders shake, and she inhales deeply again.

  “Things got even worse when she broke it off with the girl from the picture and immediately started dating a girl her age, branding her a slut in the eyes of those idiots. They made her life a living hell, calling her terrible names all the time. She refused to talk to anyone and shut everyone out. Things didn’t work out with the new girl, and afterward, Nathalie was completely alone.”

  Lily wraps her arms around herself, her shoulders bouncing uncontrollably. I want to pull her in my arms and protect her against the world, but I sense she needs to finish her story first.

  Her voice breaches the silence. “She killed herself because she couldn’t stand the constant bullying anymore.”

  “Oh my God, Lily.” I stand up and take her in my arms, burying her head against my chest. “I’m so sorry. So very sorry,” I murmur against her soft hair and inhale her sweet scent again. “Let it out, little one.” I stroke he
r hair and hold her against me like a child. She feels small and delicate in my arms, bringing out a protectiveness that I hadn’t realized was there.

  I look over at Danny; his eyes are full of tears.

  “I love you,” I mouth.

  “Love you more,” he mouths back.

  I look back down at the mass of black curls in front of me. It feels right to hold her and comfort her like this. I wish I could go back in time and undo what’s happened. I hope I’ll never have to watch someone close to me being bullied and assaulted and not be able to do anything about it. I want to kill those idiots responsible for Nathalie’s suicide, and I mourn the unnecessary waste of a young life.

  “Shhh.” I hold Lily until her shoulders aren’t shaking anymore. As I stroke her back, she calms down considerably, an occasional sniffle the only reminder of her emotional outburst.

  “I just wish I’d done more, been more persistent. I shouldn’t have allowed her to shut me out.” She lifts her head. Her eyes are red, and her cheeks are still wet.

  “Don’t blame yourself, Lily. It wasn’t your fault. I’m sure you did your very best.” Danny walks over to us and offers her a tissue. She takes it, leaving my embrace to blow her nose, and I miss her presence in my arms.

  “Thanks.” She gives Danny a watery smile.

  I let my hands roam the small of her back again, amazed at how tiny her waist feels compared to my big hands. Suddenly Lily flinches.

  “Did I hurt you?” I thought I was gentle, but she’s delicate, and I’m only used to touching Danny’s big frame.

  “I’m fine. You didn’t hurt me. I fell off a horse this morning and hurt my lower back. It’s just uncomfortable.”

  “Let me see that.” Danny lifts her shirt without further ado, ignoring her hands as she tries to pull it down again.

  “Jesus, Lily.” He shakes his head. “That must hurt like hell.”

  “It probably looks worse than it is.” She tries to push his hands away, but he won’t have it. “I bruise easily. It’s nothing.”