Quantum Series Boxed Set: Books 1-7
Page 100
I hear him and Flynn calling my name, but I keep running. I can’t do this anymore. All the determination I felt only ten minutes ago has deserted me in the face of his statements to Flynn. Either he wants me or he doesn’t, but I can no longer love him enough for both of us. He’s gaining on me, so I run faster, blinded by the rain and the wind and darkness. I should be scared, but I’m too numb to feel anything other than a fierce need to flee.
“Addison!” He’s still quite a ways behind me, and just as I decide to cut right onto a different trail, my foot catches on a root and I pitch forward into the darkness, screaming as I claw for something to hold on to while sliding precariously downward, propelled by mud. My hand finds a narrow branch and I cling to it. I have no idea what’s below me or how far the fall would be. Maybe this is it. I’m going to die out here, and whereas the thought of that would’ve terrified me an hour ago, now…
“Addie!” He’s much closer now, and I don’t want to die. I don’t want this to be the end, even if my heart is shattered.
“Hayden!”
“Sweetheart, where are you? Keep talking to me.”
“Down here.”
“Oh my God. Don’t move. Hold on as tight as you can. I’m going to get you.” In the darkness, I can barely make him out about three feet above me. He’s flat on his stomach, reaching down for me. “Give me your hand.”
“I can’t let go.”
“Baby, you have to trust me. I won’t let anything happen to you. I swear. Give me your hand.”
The ground that’s holding me shifts precariously, sending a jolt of adrenaline crashing through me that gives me the courage to reach for him, to put my trust in him. His grip on my wrist is tight enough to shatter my bones, but he doesn’t let go. Flynn is there, too, pulling on Hayden as he pulls on me.
It takes both of them to drag me back up onto the trail and into his trembling arms.
“Oh my God.” He holds me so tightly I’m afraid I’ll truly break. “Addison. Oh my God.”
Still on his knees next to us, Flynn’s head is bowed as he pants from the exertion.
“Baby.” Hayden sounds as shattered as I feel. “God, I love you so much. Don’t ever run away from me again. Promise me. I love you.” He’s hugging me and kissing me and rocking me as the rain comes down even harder than it was before. “I need you to promise me.”
“I promise. I’m sorry.”
“No, no. You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m the one who fucked this up every which way. You are absolutely perfect, and I love you.”
“Let’s get you guys back to the house,” Flynn says.
Hayden picks me up, and I wrap my arms and legs around him, burrowing my face into his neck, breathing in the scent of my love, the only man I’ll ever love. Back at the house, he walks me directly into the lower-level shower, the warm water chasing the chill away. He holds me for minutes, or maybe hours, for all I know, before he sets me down to help me out of my sopping clothes while I do the same for him.
Then he lifts me back into his arms, and I squirm against him, needing the connection I can only get with him. He brings me down on his hard cock, entering me slowly, carefully, gently, as if I’m the most precious thing in his world, and for once, I finally believe that maybe I am.
“I love you more than my own life, Addison. If anything ever happened to you, I’d die, too.”
“I’m okay. I’m right here.”
“There was nothing below you but a sheer drop to the rocks, baby. You have no idea how close you came, how close we came…” A huge tremble runs through him, and for a second, I worry he might drop me. But of course he doesn’t. He presses my back against the tile and pushes into me so deep, deeper than he’s ever been before.
“I don’t care what you thought you heard or what drove you into that storm, but you’re going to marry me, you hear me?”
“Is that your romantic way of proposing?”
“Fuck romance, this is our life I’m talking about—your life with me. You are my life, Addison. You have to marry me. Say yes. Say you will.”
“Yes, Hayden, I will.” Because, really, what does it matter how or when he asks? The only thing I care about is that I get to spend my life with him.
Without breaking our intimate connection, he carries me from the shower, wrapping a towel around my shoulders as he sits me on the vanity to finish what we started. There’s no sign of my fierce dominant lover tonight. No, this is all about love, and I feel his love for me in every touch, every kiss and every deep stroke of his magnificent cock.
I come in slow rolling waves that make me shudder from the powerful sensations that have me clinging to him as he comes, too, pulsing inside me and filling me with his heat. It’s the single most powerful moment of my entire life, and judging from the way he looks at me, his life, too.
“Did we just get engaged while having sex in the shower?” I ask him when I can speak again.
“Not quite.”
“What does that mean?”
After withdrawing from me, he wraps the towel around my shoulders and picks me up again to carry me into the bedroom we’ve been sharing. Closing the door behind him, he deposits me on the bed, gets rid of the towel and pulls the covers up and over me, which is when I realize I’m still shivering. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”
Hayden disappears into the big walk-in closet where we’ve stashed our stuff and returns a minute later carrying a small velvet box.
As he kneels next to the bed, I sit up, trembling now for entirely different reasons.
He takes hold of my hand and bends his head to kiss the back of it. Then he looks up at me, his heart in his eyes. “When I was a little kid, I was desperately afraid of thunder and lightning. I can still remember the sheer terror of feeling like the world was going to explode at any moment, and no one would be able to find me. Other than when my mom had her issues, I’ve never felt that same kind of bone-deep fear again until tonight, when I realized there’s something else I’m far more afraid of than I ever was of thunder and lightning—and that’s losing you. I love you so much, Addison. If I have a million years, I’ll never be able to show you how much.”
Tears run freely down my face. “You already have, Hayden. You’ve shown me so many times. I’ve always known that you loved me. Always.”
“Marry me? Have that house on the coast and the tribe of blue-eyed little kids who hopefully have their mother’s disposition and travel with me and do everything with me?”
“Yes. God, yes.”
He slides the incredible ring on my finger. “Now,” he says, “we’re officially engaged.”
I throw myself into his arms, and we end up on the floor next to the bed, kissing wildly as the storm rages on outside. The only thought I have as he kisses me with a desperation he’s never shown me before is that finally, finally, finally, he’s all mine.
Addie sits on my lap the next morning at breakfast, feeding me grapes and strawberries and bites of omelet while our friends keep up a running commentary on how disgusting we are and if this is what our marriage is going to be like, they want nothing to do with it.
“They’re just jealous, sweetheart,” I say to her as I accept another grape—and a kiss—from her.
Natalie made a big fuss about our engagement, insisting on celebratory mimosas while exclaiming over Addie’s gorgeous ring. I don’t think my bride-to-be even took an actual look at it herself until this morning. She was too busy making love to me all night long to be worried about what her ring looks like. I do love that she was far more interested in me than she was in the ring, which just confirms what I already knew about how devoted to me she is.
All at once, she goes stiff in my arms. I’m about to ask what’s wrong when I see her father standing at the far end of the dining room, watching the two of us intently, his expression unreadable. When she moves to get up, I stop her with my arm banded tightly around her waist.
She seems to understand what I want and rela
xes against me ever so slightly. “Dad? What’re you doing here?”
“I flew him in,” Flynn says. “I called him last night after Addie’s accident to tell him it’s high time he experiences the two of you together so he can see what the rest of us already do.”
“And what’s that?” I ask my best friend. I can’t believe he’s done this enormous thing for us, but then again, I shouldn’t be surprised. He’s my best friend for a reason.
“That you guys are meant for each other.”
Simon takes a step closer to where Addie and I are seated. “I heard you had a close call last night, honey.”
“Yes,” she says softly, her eyes full of tears. “But Hayden saved me.”
“With a major assist from Flynn,” I say, unwilling to take all the credit. I can see that Simon is undone to realize how close he came to losing his only child. He looks like he hasn’t slept, and his hair is standing on end.
“I’m sorry,” he says, blinking rapidly. “I’m so sorry.”
She pats my hand, and I let her up to go to him.
He wraps his arms around her and holds her for a long time. By the time he lets her go, they’re both in tears.
Flynn nudges my shoulder and nods in their direction, telling me to join them.
Since I have no fucking clue what I’m supposed to do right now, I take his suggestion and get up to go to them.
Addie slides her right arm around my waist and shows her father the ring on her left hand.
He leans in for an up-close look. “That’s one heck of a ring, honey. I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you, Daddy.” She wipes her face and smiles up at me.
Simon extends his hand to me. “Thank you for saving my daughter’s life.”
I shake hands with my future father-in-law. “Don’t thank me.” I look down at her beautiful face. She’s absolutely radiant this morning, and I intend to keep her that way forever. “By saving her life, I saved my own, too.”
Epilogue
On Hayden’s thirty-fourth birthday, I take him by the hand to lead him. I can feel his resistance and how hard it is for him to cede control to me for even the short time I’ve asked to have it. Getting him to agree to the blindfold was an epic challenge, but I know he’s going to love this.
“This isn’t how it works, Addison,” he says in the low sexy growl that makes my panties melt. “You don’t get to control me.” He’s reminded me of that several times since we set out from his house in town.
“You can do it. I promise it’ll be worth it.”
“I hope you think the punishment you’ll receive later is worth it, too.”
“Mmm, I know I will.”
He makes a sound that’s a cross between a growl and a groan, and I love that this is getting to him. I’ve been plotting this night for weeks, and now that it’s finally time, I’m nervous and anxious and incredibly aroused—and only from thinking about what we’re going to do. I can’t imagine what actually doing it will feel like.
Devon has been awesome in helping me to plan my surprise for Hayden, and as we enter through the main doors at Black Vice, he’s there to greet us. He has promised not to stay and watch, which is essential to my being able to actually go through with this. No one I know will be here, or that’s what I tell myself.
It won’t matter. We’ll both be disguised to protect our identities. That’s the only way either of us could do it.
Devon remains silent as I lead Hayden into the elevator that takes us to the second floor, where the Black Vice playrooms are located. In the weeks since I first came here to experience the BDSM lifestyle, my own experience has quadrupled. Hayden is introducing me slowly but surely to every aspect of the scene, and I love it as much as he does.
Just when I think he’s taken me as far as I can go, we go further, and our connection grows exponentially every time we venture into the playrooms at both his homes. I prefer the one in Malibu because I’m the only one who has ever been there, but I try not to dwell on the past when I’m at his home in town. He’s so focused on me and my pleasure that there’s no way he has time to think about anyone else.
My confidence in him and our relationship has grown right along with my sexual experience, and I’ve never been happier in my life. I always knew we’d be magic together, and now I know it for certain.
Since the first night we were together in his room in Malibu, I’ve thought about how he said public scenes are one of his favorite things. I’m fairly resolute in not wanting to participate at Club Quantum. I’m not so liberated, at least not yet, that I’m ready to perform in front of my closest friends and colleagues. Hayden says I may get there someday, but until that day comes, I’ve arrived at another plan to bring that element into our relationship in a way I’m comfortable with. At least I think I am. I won’t know for sure until we actually do it.
We arrive at the room Devon has designated for us, and he holds the door for me, winking as I walk past him, leading Hayden. The door clicks shut behind us, and we’re alone. We’ve got fifteen minutes to get our act together before Devon opens the room to spectators. Showtime. I reach up to remove the blindfold, and Hayden blinks furiously until he’s able to focus on where we are.
“What the hell, Addison? What’s all this?”
“This,” I say, taking a deep breath, “is your birthday present.” I reach behind me to unzip the black dress I’m wearing, letting it drop to the floor. Underneath I’ve worn the sexiest lingerie I could find, complete with a lace-up corset, sheer black thigh-high stockings, a garter belt and a thong that barely covers my freshly waxed mound. I’ve topped off my outfit with four-inch spike heels.
Upon seeing my getup, his eyes go wide and his mouth forms an O as all the oxygen leaves his body in one long exhale. “Where the hell are we right now?”
“Black Vice. Devon was gracious enough to lend us a room for your birthday present.”
“Which is?”
“A public scene tonight and a one-year membership to Black Vice so we can do it again any time you want to.” From my purse, I produce the membership card I got for him as well as a black face mask I bought so no one will recognize him. I have one for myself, too. Devon was willing to let me vouch for Hayden’s health since I’m the only one he’ll be with at the club. “I asked Devon for a few of your favorite things, but I left the rest up to him. Even I don’t know everything that’s here for us to use.”
He takes the mask from me and examines it carefully. “You’re serious.”
“Very serious.”
“You don’t have to do this—”
I take a step toward him and cover his lips with mine. Thanks to the heels, I’m able to reach his mouth without having to stretch too much. “I want to do this. I want to do it for you. Happy birthday.”
He looks at me with so much love in those blue eyes that are rarely as cold as they used to be before he had me to warm him up. “You already had a party for me. You didn’t have to do this, too.”
“This is our own not-so-private private party. Unless you don’t want to…”
“Oh, I want to. You bet your sweet, sexy ass I want to.”
There he is, my strong, confident Dom, who has shown me heights of pleasure I never knew possible until I seduced him. He wraps his arms around me, his hands cupping my ass cheeks and squeezing.
I reach up to unbutton his shirt. “You’re overdressed for this party.”
He nuzzles my neck, setting off a wildfire on the surface of my skin. “Before I forget to tell you, this is the best birthday I’ve ever had.”
“I’m so glad to hear that. It’s the first of many great birthdays you’re going to have.”
“I can’t wait. I love you so much, Addison. Just when I think I’ve got you figured out, you surprise the living fuck out of me.”
I smile widely. “Don’t get too comfortable, my love.”
He rubs his enormous erection against my pubic bone. “I’m very uncomfortable at the moment, and
you’re going to be, too.”
I give him a coy look. “Now that you have me here, whatever will you do with me?”
He makes a closer inspection of the room, noting the spanking bench I requested as well as the ropes that are coiled and ready for him. I had to do some research to find out his preferred brand, and judging by his smile, I got it right. I always want to get it right for him. I strip him down to boxer briefs and run my fingertips over the muscles on his chest and abdomen. His cock is so hard, the tip sticks out of the waistband of his underwear, but I make no move to touch him there, as much as I want to. This is his scene to direct as he sees fit, and I can’t wait to see what he’ll do.
“I see that you’ve seen to your own needs by requesting the spanking bench.”
As he knows, I’ve become an utter slave to his “punishments.” I’m addicted to the thrill of his hand landing on my ass, heating me from the outside. Blinking rapidly, I affect an innocent expression and pretend to have no idea what he means.
He laughs as he helps me into the mask and arranges me over the bench, adjusting it to my height and seeing to my comfort the way he always does. I’m no longer afraid that I can’t handle what he wants. He’s shown me I can handle anything as long as I’m with him. It never occurs to me that he’ll cause me more pain than I can take or that I’ll disappoint him.
In the weeks since our engagement, he’s been more relaxed, quicker to laugh, unburdened and generally happier than I’ve ever seen him. If I had to guess, he’s no longer concerned about disappointing me either.
“Comfortable?” he asks.
“Uh-huh.”
The soft ding of a bell indicates that our room is no longer private.
“Do you know what that means?” I ask him.
“Yep. Do you?”
“Yes. Are there people watching?”