Not if I Save You First

by Ally Carter

  “You were supposed to take Logan to some meeting place, right? Will your sister be there? Or is she back in Russia?”

  “She was supposed to be here. In Alaska. The Wolf is dying. He doesn’t have much time. He will be there, too. He isn’t going to wait for the boy to come to him. The Wolf will come to his prey.”

  A part of Logan wanted to laugh at Stefan, the words were so dramatic and surreal. But another part of Logan knew—a part had always known—that the Wolf was out there, howling in the night. And someday it was going to try to finish what was started six years ago.

  “How?” Logan’s voice was quiet as he turned back to Stefan. “How did Boris know I’d be in Alaska?”

  Stefan almost smiled. “When you set up a secret social media account and post pictures about a big trip, you should remember that nothing in Russia stays a secret for long.”

  Logan looked at Maddie. He expected her to lecture him, yell at him—at least call him an idiot. But she was up and moving toward the cliff almost before Logan could reach her.

  “We need the pack,” Maddie said.

  “Wait.”

  “No!” she shouted. “We need to call my dad and get you out of here. Now that we know there aren’t any moles in the Secret Service … We need to get help, Logan. Now.”

  But Logan was looking from the steep cliff to Stefan and then to Maddie, who had been knocked unconscious and shot and dragged into a fight that wasn’t her own.

  “How much time does your sister have?” he asked the man who may or may not still be their enemy.

  Slowly Stefan shook his head. “Not enough.”

  Maddie’s shoulder hurt. Her head throbbed. That was how she knew it was almost over. If there’d been no help on the horizon—no hope—her body would have blocked out those aches and pains. She would have found a way to go on.

  But as soon as Maddie saw Logan slip over the edge of the ravine, she actually staggered and dropped to a fallen log. She should have been afraid, she guessed. Technically she was outnumbered.

  But Uri, the fake ranger, was tied to a tree and Maddie had a gun. But, most of all, Maddie had a new perspective on Stefan. He really wasn’t a bad guy. But even good people can do bad things if given even just a little bit of a reason.

  She saw him looking to the woods, to escape. So Maddie slipped the gun behind her back, tucking it into the waistband of her jeans. She saw him watch her do it.

  “Don’t run,” she told him.

  “Would you really shoot me?” He actually sounded like he might be teasing.

  “Oh, I’d shoot you straight through the heart if I thought I had to. But I don’t have to. And that’s why you shouldn’t run.”

  “They have my sister,” he reminded her.

  “And we’re gonna call people who can get her back.”

  “Will they?” It wasn’t a question. It was a dare. “Or will they take me to a place where I will never see the sun again? Maybe I will disappear forever.”

  “This isn’t Russia,” she reminded him, but Stefan’s reply was a cold, hard laugh.

  “Anywhere can be Russia. Besides, I took your prince.”

  “He’s not my prince,” Maddie snapped.

  “He is American royalty. And I took him. I will never see freedom again. I will never see Natalia again. And I can live with that. After she is safe.”

  “If this Boris is as bad as you say he is—”

  “He is worse,” Stefan said, cutting her off.

  “—then the Secret Service is going to want him. Trust me.”

  “She’s very sick. Without her medicine …”

  “They’re already looking, I can promise you that. As soon as they realize their agents are dead, they’ll—”

  “They’re not dead.”

  For a moment, Maddie was certain she’d misheard him. Maybe it was wishful thinking—hearing—on her part.

  “What?”

  “The men from the Secret Service … they are not dead. They were supposed to die, but I disabled them, tied them up inside your cabin. They are not dead.”

  Maddie hadn’t realized how much that had weighed on her until the weight was lifted. She thought she might float away.

  “They’re alive.”

  “They were,” Stefan said. “When I left them.”

  “Then help is coming,” Maddie told him.

  She got up and walked to the ledge, peered over. Logan looked so much bigger from that angle, all arms and legs, big strong hands that gripped the rocks. He’d reached the pack and he looked up, as if knowing that Maddie would be there. His smile was brighter than the sun.

  “There’s a rope!” he shouted.

  “Throw it up!” she called back.

  Five minutes later he was standing back at the top of the hill. He wasn’t even breathing hard when he said, “We’ve got it.”

  Maddie thought she might cry. And maybe she would have if crying wasn’t the world’s leading cause of puffy eyes and skin blotchiness. For some reason, it seemed really, really important that Maddie’s skin stay as blotch-free as possible in Logan’s presence.

  Logan dropped the pack to the ground and started digging through pockets.

  “Food,” he said with a sigh, tossing an energy bar in Maddie’s direction. “Ibuprofen.” He tossed the small bottle at her, too. “Take two of those. Now,” he ordered. Maddie grinned, and for once in her life did as she was told.

  “Where is it?” A hint of panic was seeping into Logan’s voice. “Where is … ?”

  But then his entire face changed. He took a deep breath, then pulled his hand from one of the pockets of the pack, the bright yellow phone gripped tightly in his hand.

  “It’s here.”

  Maddie thought she could kiss him.

  She didn’t, of course. But she could have. And it wasn’t just out of relief or joy. It was because, in that moment, Logan just looked utterly kissable, and she didn’t know what she thought about that.

  “Give it,” she ordered, and Logan handed it over. “Don’t move!” she shouted as Stefan inched toward the trees.

  Logan had already dropped the pack on a big, flat rock and was unloading it, carefully surveying exactly what they had.

  There was the ibuprofen in a tiny white bottle. A canteen that was half full and three energy bars. A pack of Band-Aids, two empty plastic bags. A sleeping bag. A poncho. Two pairs of thick, tall socks, and something that looked like a solar phone charger.

  Plus the map.

  It was the most glorious collection of stuff that Maddie had ever seen. She ripped open the wrapper of the energy bar that Logan had handed her and then looked down at the satellite phone and dialed a number she knew by heart.

  As it rang, she spread out the map and tried to locate their position, then pinpoint a place where her father could land.

  They could meet up in an hour. Maybe significantly less. She was calling her father. Her father was coming. Maddie was so giddy she could practically hear the phone ringing on his end. She could practically …

  She took another big bite of the energy bar, but then it suddenly turned to ashes in her mouth as she caught Logan’s gaze.

  “What’s that noise?” he asked.

  And Maddie realized that she wasn’t imagining the sound of her father’s phone ringing. She kept Stefan’s sat phone to her ear, but she was no longer listening, not really.

  She was looking at Logan, who was starting to rise, to turn, to look at the man who was now fully conscious, leaning against the tree, a cold, cruel smile across his face.

  Maddie kept the phone to her ear, praying that she might hear her father say hello, or cuss, or cry. She wanted to hear her father’s voice, but instead she heard his distinctive ringtone coming from the pocket of the ranger uniform.

  She heard Uri ask, “Looking for someone?”

  Maddie thought that maybe someone had knocked her off a cliff again. She felt like maybe, this time, she never would stop falling.

  But L
ogan didn’t have that problem.

  “Where is it?” he shouted. He grabbed Uri by the lapels of his coat and pulled him as hard as he could with the man still tied to a tree. Logan started digging through pockets, ripping open the man’s jacket until they both looked down at the ringing phone.

  “Where did you get that?” Maddie’s voice was cold and calm, but inside she was screaming. “Where did you get that?” she shouted this time, the words echoing out across the ice-cold river, maybe all the way to the sea.

  But the man just smiled. “You didn’t think the boy was all we wanted, did you?” He laughed like they were so silly. “The Wolf won’t rest until he’s hurt everyone who hurt his son. Everyone.”

  Maddie couldn’t help but remember all the times she’d asked her father why they’d had to leave DC, what was so special about Alaska. She’d begged to go to school somewhere. She’d wanted to make friends. Even in the most remote parts of the world people had satellite Internet, but not Maddie. She’d thought it was because of what happened in that corridor in DC. She’d thought it was because her father had almost died.

  But that wasn’t it.

  It was because her father had lived, and he must have known that someday soon the Wolf would be there, trying to huff and puff and blow their cabin down.

  “Where is he?” Logan shook the man again, but Maddie was spinning on Stefan.

  “Did you know?”

  “No,” Stefan said, shaking his head slowly, like maybe he’d been a fool not to. “But that is the way of the Wolf.”

  “Is my father alive?” she asked the man tied to the tree. “Is he?” she shouted, pulling the gun from her waistband and taking aim.

  “Mad,” Logan warned, but Maddie wasn’t listening.

  “Where is my father?” she asked again, the words almost a growl.

  “He’s safe. For now.” There was an eerie glow in the Russian’s eyes, like maybe it was worth being captured and shot and knocked unconscious by an icy limb just to have such a good seat for her heartbreak.

  “They’ll keep him alive. He might even save himself, you know.”

  “How?” Logan asked.

  The Russian smiled up at him. “By killing you, of course. The Wolf has always liked a trade. Maybe if he kills you, the Wolf will spare him. It’s only a pity we did not know about the girl. We were told the daughter died in DC. The Wolf will be most distressed to learn he was mistaken.”

  “Don’t look at her!” Logan shouted. His hands were around the man’s throat. “You don’t get to look at her or speak to her. You aren’t good enough to breathe the same air as her, you—”

  “Logan,” Maddie tried.

  “I will end you,” Logan told the man.

  “Logan,” Maddie tried again, this time grabbing his hand. “They have my dad.”

  “I know, Mad Dog. We’re going to get him back. We’re—”

  “Not we.” She was shaking her head. She should have been screaming or crying, but her heart was numb, from the worry and the cold. For the first time in a long time she could see things plainly. It was like hunting, being all alone in the early hours of the day when everything is quiet and still and covered in freshly fallen snow. At times like that you can see farther, hear more. The world was crystal clear in that moment, and Maddie knew exactly what had to happen.

  “You’ve got to call DC, Logan. You have to tell the Secret Service where you are. Tell them where my dad is. Tell them—”

  “Okay, Mad Dog. We will. We’ll tell them. And then—”

  “No.” Maddie was shaking her head. She eased farther away from the Russians, and Logan followed. It was as if both of them knew that this moment was too personal, too raw and too real to be shared with strangers.

  Logan’s arms went around her, sheltering her between his body and the low branch of a tree, gripping the cold wood despite the ice and the snow. Maddie laid her forehead against Logan’s broad chest, resting for what felt like the first time. And the last.

  “Mad Dog.” Logan’s voice was as soft as his touch as he lifted her chin, then gently tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. It said a lot about her situation that she no longer cared what her hair looked like. Or her skin. She only cared that she finally knew why her father had brought her to this big, empty world—why he’d kept her safe and taught her to survive here.

  Because someday, she was going to have to return the favor.

  “Tell me you know the phone number.”

  “Of course I know the phone number.” Logan sounded more than a little bit offended.

  “Tell me you’ll call them.”

  “Mad Dog, of course I’m going to call them.”

  She put her hand over his. “Tell me you know where we are right now—that you know what to tell them. They have to send a chopper here. Now.”

  “Yes, Maddie. I know. But—”

  There was a click, the sound faint but sharp in the cold air. For a moment Logan froze until Maddie went up on her toes and pressed her mouth to his for one split second.

  “Tell me you forgive me.”

  But Maddie didn’t wait for Logan’s answer as he stared down at the shiny metal that hung around his wrist. He moved to reach for her, but the limb of the tree shook, showering them with falling snow. Logan tried again, then cursed, and Maddie had to mentally alter her list of supplies. They had:

  Ibuprofen.

  Socks.

  Poncho.

  Sleeping bag.

  Solar charger.

  Band-Aids.

  And handcuffs. Maddie hadn’t dared to forget about the handcuffs.

  “Mad Dog,” Logan started. “What did you—”

  “Call them.” She dropped Stefan’s yellow phone a few feet away from Logan, where he could reach it with a little effort. “As soon as we’re gone. Get them here. Save yourself.”

  “Maddie, wait!” Logan lunged for her but the cuff held tight.

  “You’re the president’s son! If something happens to you, there could be war, Logan. Straight up war. The stock market could crash. There’d be congressional investigations and … I always really liked your mom. She’s got to be worried sick. So call her. And let me do what I have to do.”

  “Not without me.”

  But something had happened inside of Maddie the moment she heard the sound of her father’s phone. It was like she was above the Arctic Circle and the sun had gone down and she was standing on the front end of a long, dark winter.

  “You seem to think this is a democracy, Logan. It’s not. It’s Alaska.”

  She knew that Logan kept shouting, cursing, but he might as well have been yelling at the snow because Maddie was already turning to Stefan.

  “You know where they are?” she asked.

  “I do.”

  “Will my father be where your sister is?”

  “Probably.”

  “And the Wolf? Will he be there?”

  “Definitely,” Stefan said. “The Wolf has waited six long years for this moment. He will be where the blood is.”

  Maddie walked to the pack and gathered everything that she might need.

  “Then let’s go kill him.”

  “What’s she like?”

  Maddie didn’t turn back to look at Stefan, but she knew that he was back there. She could hear his heavy breath and his footsteps crunching in the icy snow. But most of all, she knew that he had just as much reason to fight as she did. She was just glad that they were finally fighting on the same side.

  “Natalia?” he said.

  “Yes. How long have they had her?”

  This time, it took a moment for Stefan to answer. Maybe because time didn’t have any meaning anymore, with the short Alaskan days and gloomy, sunless sky. But more than likely because it felt like forever to Stefan. It was a feeling Maddie could relate to.

  “Four days. The Wolf came for her four days ago.”

  Just four days. It wasn’t much time, but it was forever in a lot of ways. Maddie knew better
than anyone that it only took a moment for a life to change forever.

  “What happens if she doesn’t get her medicine?”

  “It depends,” Stefan said. “She is diabetic. She needs a daily shot of insulin. Depending on what she’s been eating—if she’s been eating … I do not know. She will likely need a doctor. The Wolf promised he would bring one. He was supposed to bring one. But the Wolf … he lies.”

  “She’ll be fine,” Maddie told him. “We’re going to get her back.”

  The air was slightly warmer and the ground was covered with a slick sheen of water. Maddie hadn’t known that there could be anything slicker than ice, but that was before she’d moved to Alaska. Now she knew that the ground could always be slicker, rougher, steeper. Things could always get worse. And they usually did before they got better.

  She stopped for a moment when they reached the top of the ridge. Down below, there was an icy lake and a silt-covered beach. A familiar red plane floated in the distance, and it was all Maddie could do not to scream out for her father and run in its direction. She would have, too, if it hadn’t been for the helicopter not far away. And the tents.

  “That’s it?” Maddie said—the words a question. Somehow, she’d expected something far bigger, darker, scarier. They’d been walking for more than a day, every step bringing them closer to this place. In a way, Maddie realized, this is where that White House corridor led. Six years later, she was finally going to come out the other side.

  “Binoculars,” Maddie said, holding out her hands. Stefan gave her the pair they’d scavenged from the fake ranger’s gear, and Maddie laid low on the ground. The snow and ice didn’t melt through her raincoat, but she could feel it on her legs. It didn’t matter. She trained the binoculars on the camp below, memorizing every possible detail.

  “I count four guards,” she said, handing the binoculars to Stefan. “Does that sound right to you?”