The Secrets of Sunshine

by Phaedra Patrick

  ‘But you do know something?’ Mitchell prompted.

  Naomi pressed her back against the sink. Liza stood up and placed a hand on her sister’s shoulder. ‘What is it? What do you know?’

  Her sister shook her head frantically. ‘I just can’t…’

  Mitchell and Liza shared a look. They both silently agreed Naomi was keeping a secret.

  ‘You said Victor had been in prison after Yvette discovered his stealing,’ Liza said. ‘We think he’s written to Yvette and he sounds angry. What if he gets to her before we do? Our sister has been missing for almost a year, Naomi. Mum’s health is getting worse, too.’

  ‘I care about Mum—’ Naomi interjected.

  ‘Yes, so if you know something, anything at all, you’ve got to tell us. Please. Do you know where Yvette is? You don’t have to speak, just nod your head. That’s all you’ve got to do. Then we can help her. We can help you.’

  Mitchell and Liza sat for what felt like the longest time before Naomi gave a slight nod.

  Liza exhaled. ‘Good. We’re getting somewhere.’

  ‘I made a promise.’ Naomi slumped against her worktop.

  ‘Why haven’t you said something before?’

  ‘Because she’s my sister.’

  ‘I’m your sister, too,’ Liza snapped.

  ‘But I can’t break Yvette’s confidence.’

  Liza threw her arms up. ‘So where do we go from here? How long have you known where Yvette is? When were you going to tell me and Mum?’

  ‘I’ve only known since she called me ten days ago from the bridge. She asked if I could help her. She’s been—’ Naomi cut off her own sentence. ‘Look, it’s been hard, keeping this from you.’

  Liza’s gaze was steely. ‘But you’re refusing to say anything else? Like how she is, or where she is? Or why she went missing?’

  Naomi squirmed. ‘I know less than you think.’

  ‘Only a few minutes ago, you said you knew nothing at all.’

  The two sisters refused to look at each other.

  Mitchell picked up the letter from the table. ‘If Victor did write this letter, and it looks like he did, could Yvette be in trouble if he finds her? If you’re not sure she’ll be safe, then please – tell us what you know.’

  ‘I won’t break Yvette’s confidence, but I will speak to her,’ Naomi said eventually.

  ‘Good. Thank you.’ Mitchell tried to catch Liza’s eye to indicate they should leave and let things settle. But she wouldn’t look at him, either.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ Naomi said. She placed her hand on Liza’s arm, her eyes pleading for understanding.

  But Liza shook it off. ‘You need to speak to our sister. Pronto,’ she said with a point of her finger. ‘We’ll let ourselves out.’

  She stormed into the hallway and yanked the front door open. Mitchell struggled to keep up with her.

  As they strode away down the path together, Naomi shouted after them, ‘I made a promise to Yvette, what could I do? What would you have done?’

  24

  Swimming

  Mitchell needed something to occupy his mind until he heard back from Liza. She was hanging on until Naomi got in touch with Yvette and he needed a distraction, a plan of action to concentrate on.

  ‘You’re quiet,’ Poppy said, joining him at the breakfast table. She pushed a hand into the muesli box and pulled out a raisin to nibble on.

  ‘Am I?’

  ‘Yep. You’re usually happier when you’ve spent time with Liza.’

  ‘Really?’ He realized he did feel cheerier when he was with her, during those moments they were talking about music or making chilli together.

  ‘She’s sunny,’ Poppy said.

  It was a good way to describe her, not a word he’d think to use about someone. ‘I thought we could go swimming this morning,’ he said. ‘We’ve not been to the pool for a while.’

  ‘With Liza?’ she said hopefully.

  ‘Just me and you. Liza’s busy with family stuff. She thinks she’s found Yvette.’

  Poppy’s eyes widened. ‘Where is she?’

  ‘I’m not sure yet.’ He ran a hand through his hair. ‘But I’m sure everything’s going to be all right.’

  Poppy sprinkled muesli into her bowl. ‘Ace.’

  As they ate their cereal together, Mitchell’s throat felt tight, and he couldn’t really be sure if he’d just told Poppy a lie or not.

  The swimming pool was an obstacle course of people. There were the serious swimmers who wore black latex caps and goggles and front-crawled with the determination of Olympic athletes. Kids with orange inflatable armbands splashed around with their parents, and a large group of teenage boys pushed each other’s heads under the water.

  Mitchell and Poppy bobbed around in the middle of the pool, where Poppy could just about stand up.

  ‘How many lengths should we do?’ Mitchell asked. ‘Ten? Fifteen?’

  Poppy tiptoed from one foot to the other. ‘Can’t we just play?’

  ‘It’s good to have a target. Good exercise, too…’

  ‘It’s good for you,’ she muttered.

  He watched as she sank down until the water slipped over her head. She swam around on the bottom of the pool, circling him like a shark.

  When she burst upwards, he felt bewildered, not sure how to join in the game. Anita had been the playful one in the pool, and he was the one who remembered the towels and money for the lockers. ‘Shall we do a length and time ourselves?’ he suggested.

  She shook her head. ‘Remember when you used to swish me in the water and pretend I was in a washing machine?’

  He smiled as he recalled it. ‘You were only little then.’

  She stared at him, her eyes a bit puffy. ‘Sometimes I don’t want to be big.’ She turned and swam away from him until she reached the far edge of the pool, hanging on to the side.

  He breast-stroked quickly after her. When he reached her, he said, ‘I’m sorry, Pops – I kind of forget how to have fun sometimes. I’m not much good at it.’

  She swiped her hand in the water so it splashed his face. Her eyes instantly widened apologetically at what she’d done.

  He was about to tell her off, but thought of her words, about her wanting to be small sometimes. He felt the same way, too. So, he slapped his hand against the water, splashing both of them.

  Poppy gave a delighted giggle and he took hold of her under her arms and pulled her away from the side. He spun her around him, back and forth.

  ‘Washing machine,’ she laughed. ‘Put me on a spin cycle, Dad.’

  His arms ached and they both knew she was too old for this, but for the next few minutes they didn’t care.

  After Mitchell had let her go, Poppy reached up onto the side of the pool and pulled two yellow floats into the water. ‘You’ve got to swim with your feet together, like a mermaid,’ she told him.

  Mitchell was about to protest, but she had already kicked off from the side and all he could do was follow her. ‘I’m a dolphin instead,’ he called after her, and an elderly woman nearby gave him a strange look. ‘Watch out.’

  After they’d got out of the pool and dried off, Mitchell met Poppy beside the dispensing machine in the café. She hadn’t dried her hair properly so water created a dark bib around the neck of her T-shirt.

  He remembered how she used to love putting money into the slot and watching the crisps and chocolate bars jiggle along until they dropped down into the drawer below. They hadn’t done it since Anita died.

  ‘Do you want to share a bag of crisps?’ he asked.

  Poppy studied the contents of the machine. ‘Salt and vinegar crisps make me cough,’ she said.

  ‘I like ready salted best.’

  ‘Boring,’ she sang.

  ‘They’re a classic, like me.’ He produced a pound coin. ‘How about we compromise, with a big bag of cheese and onion?’

  She lifted her chin and quoted at him. ‘It’s not a compromise. It’s adapting to each o
ther’s needs.’ She took his money.

  Mitchell wondered where these words had come from, because they sounded too grown-up. But then she flipped to being a child again, excitedly peering into the machine as the crisp packet juddered towards her.

  They bought hot chocolate from another machine, in plastic cups too hot to hold. The murky brown liquid burned their tongues.

  When the phone vibrated in Mitchell’s pocket, he ignored it, wanting to focus on the time with his daughter.

  It was only when they arrived back at the apartment that he picked up the message.

  I’ve spoken to Yvette, Liza informed him.

  Her words were too short, for her, and he replied immediately. Do you know where she is?

  Yes x.

  Mitchell felt a wave of relief hit him so hard he felt he might topple over. Liza hadn’t offered up any further information and he didn’t want to pry, so he simply asked, Do you need me?

  Her reply took ten minutes to come through. Yes, she said. I think I do.

  Just tell me where and when, he replied.

  He met Liza in the Dala café an hour later.

  Poppy had insisted she was okay to remain in the apartment on her own for half an hour. She was going to make toast and listen to music. ‘I’m nine years old, Dad.’ She rolled her eyes at him. ‘Not a kid.’

  He told her to call him if she needed anything at all and he left to meet Liza.

  When Mitchell saw Liza nursing a coffee cup to her chest, she looked like a smaller version of herself. He bought a drink and sat down next to her.

  ‘Are you okay?’ he asked, unsure.

  She nodded. ‘I just feel dazed. I can’t believe I’m sitting here and my sister has been missing for all this time, and now I’ve just spoken to her on the phone, and it’s like all this hasn’t really happened at all. I feel as if I’ve got off a roller coaster and I’m all unsteady and can’t even walk straight. It was so amazing to hear her voice,’ she said breathlessly. ‘But she didn’t sound like herself.’

  ‘She’s been gone a long time. It must be very strange.’

  ‘I know – I’m going to see her this evening. We can talk, and I can hug her and find out what the hell has gone on.’ Her lips trembled and then she was crying, her shoulders jerking and tears flooding her cheeks. ‘I’m sorry,’ she mumbled as she tried to wipe them away. ‘It’s all the relief and worry and stress coming out of me.’

  He shot out his arm and pulled her close to him, feeling her wet face against his shoulder.

  ‘This is so embarrassing.’

  ‘It’s not. This is a huge thing that you’ve found her.’

  She let her emotions flow. Each time she tried to say she was fine, her chin shook and the tears came again. ‘Sorry,’ she kept saying.

  ‘It’s okay,’ he repeated. ‘It’s okay.’

  He wished that he had been able to let himself go like this, allow his grief to flood out of him after Anita died, so it had somewhere to go rather than churning inside him. He sometimes imagined it as a sponge in his stomach, all squeezed up in a tight ball, trying to avoid the day it might expand.

  She peered up at him and patted her nose with a paper napkin. ‘I’m so glad I met you, Mitchell. You’ve been amazing.’

  Her words made him swoon and he took a moment to enjoy the feeling. He’d tried so hard with Poppy for the last three years, never sure he was achieving the best for her. And now he felt like he’d got an A star in a school report from Liza. ‘I’m glad I met you, too,’ he said.

  They smiled shyly at each other.

  Liza took a few moments to compose herself. She sipped her cold coffee and smoothed a hand over her hair. ‘I’ll need to put my makeup back on before I meet Yvette, or else she won’t recognize me. I just wanted to see you first. It’s like you’re a defibrillator or something, giving me a shot of energy.’

  ‘You, too,’ he admitted.

  They held hands under the table and it felt right.

  After a few seconds, Liza glanced at the watch on her other wrist. ‘I should go.’

  ‘Do you want me to come with you?’

  She shook her head and stood up. ‘This is something we need to do as a family. Me, Naomi, Yvette and Mum. The Bradfields together.’

  He understood. ‘Okay, just let me know what I can do to help.’

  ‘Will do.’

  He walked with her to the door of the café. ‘I’m going that way,’ she said, pointing in the opposite direction to Angel House. ‘Wish me luck.’

  He watched her weave around people on the pavement, the purple highlights in her hair gleaming, and then she was gone. And Mitchell felt a slug of unease about what Yvette’s story really was, and why she had hidden from her family for so long.

  Later that evening, after he and Poppy had looked out of her bedroom window and she was settled in bed, he received a text from Liza.

  Yvette wants to meet you in person, tomorrow if you’re free? I can look after Poppy.

  His heart leaped and he held the phone to his chest for a while, savouring this moment. Images flashed through his head of Yvette in her yellow dress, her smile on the bridge and lying in his arms on the riverbank.

  Although he’d been on a few dates, it was the first time he’d felt the sweetness of a connection to another woman since Anita. He now knew it hadn’t been desire, or a longing for her. It had been more of a recognition that she was someone in need of help in her life, too. Her smile, and helping her from the water, had helped to jump-start his life again.

  ‘What is it, Dad?’ Poppy asked him.

  Mitchell showed her the message, and she nodded readily that she’d like to see Liza.

  ‘Are you excited about meeting Yvette?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes.’ He nodded. ‘I’m intrigued, and relieved, and exhausted. I’m glad Liza has found her.’

  Poppy chewed her lip. ‘We will still see Liza, won’t we? Now Yvette has been found.’

  Mitchell pondered upon this. Although he’d hadn’t known Liza for very long, he already couldn’t imagine his life without her in it. However, what the shape of their relationship might be was too complicated to think about right now. ‘Yes, of course,’ he said.

  ‘Good.’ Poppy smiled.

  Mitchell read Liza’s message and tapped out his own in reply. Where and when should I meet Yvette?

  It took half an hour before she got back to him with more detail.

  In the park tomorrow, the conservatory at noon.

  25

  Park

  It felt ridiculous to him, but Mitchell had no idea what to wear to meet Yvette. He toyed with donning his work polo shirt, so she might recognize him more easily. Or should he dress smartly, or wear his usual weekend outfit of jeans and a T-shirt?

  In the end, he decided on his newest dark blue jeans and a short-sleeved white button-up shirt.

  The conservatory was somewhere he used to go with Anita when she was pregnant with Poppy. With her heightened senses and rounded belly, she couldn’t get enough of the smell of the chrysanthemums. They used to trail their hands across soft ferns and talk baby names. The thought of going there again without her felt unbearably painful.

  At 11.30 a.m., Liza parked her car briefly on the pavement outside Angel House and Poppy jumped in. They both waved at him and he was left alone, in this strange situation, where he was finally going to meet the stranger he had helped two weeks ago.

  Before he set off for the park, Mitchell sat on the bed and took Anita’s still-sealed lilac envelope out of his bedside drawer. He set the letter down on his lap.

  ‘This is it,’ he confided to it. ‘I’m going to meet Yvette and I don’t know how to feel, whether this is some kind of closure, or the beginning of something new.’

  He looked to his side, hoping Anita might be there with all the answers to his emotions and the thoughts rattling around inside him. He wanted to see her copper-brown curls and her smile, but there was only him.

  When he placed
her letter back in his drawer, he noticed the ones he’d left on top of his nightstand were gone. Poppy must have picked them up to pass on to Liza to look through for her school project, and he was glad he’d removed any unsuitable ones.

  As Mitchell headed towards the park, he huddled under an umbrella against the rain. He felt his meeting with Yvette was going to be a momentous occasion, like starting college, or a first day in a new job. Her fall had shaken up his life like a snowdome, and he hoped meeting her would help things settle back down. But somehow, he knew things wouldn’t ever be the same again.

  As he neared the wrought-iron gates of the park, Mitchell rehearsed in his head what he might say to her. By the time he approached the conservatory, his heart was pounding. He wished the rain wasn’t hammering down so hard, and that it was a sunny day, so the conservatory would be flooded with light. The anticipation of meeting Yvette again and discovering her story made reverberations thump through his body. Each step he took thudded loudly, each of his breaths deafened him.

  He saw a woman open one of the conservatory doors and shake out her red umbrella. She was blonde and wore a beige mac with a wide navy scarf around her neck – not Yvette, he thought with a bolt of disappointment.

  He wondered why she hadn’t chosen a café to meet instead. However, he supposed if Victor was at large, then a conservatory in the park in the pouring rain was less conspicuous.

  When he entered the conservatory, he saw the red umbrella propped against the wall, water pooling on the ground. There were four rooms, he remembered, and the blonde woman stood in the next one, bending over the roses.

  The air was hot and the hundreds of small panes of glass surrounding him were all steamed up. There was a small fountain made out of a wooden barrel and a terrapin let the water trickle down onto its shell.

  He stood at the door, looking out for Yvette, but he didn’t see anyone else. After a few moments, he headed into the other room. He cleared his throat to warn the woman in beige of his presence so he didn’t take her by surprise.

  When she turned her head to the side, he saw the slight hump on her nose.

  His pulse soared.