“Isn’t that good, for him? And obviously for Vanna and Cas? She’s got her man back, and he’s got his kid.”
I fall back, one foot still on the floor, one knee bent so my other sole rests on the edge of the bed. My arm is over my eyes. “I don’t know,” I tell her, letting her into my thoughts. “It might be good now, but Liz lived for his job, loved his bike. What if he goes back to Vanna, settles into a nice suburban life, then remembers what he’s lost? The man I knew would have given his life for the club.”
“The man you knew didn’t want a wife or a child.” Seeing the expression on my face, she adds, “Women talk.”
I expect they have been trying to make sense of the little they know. But they’ll only have heard snippets of the story as the men will keep the main details to themselves. Vanna and Cas had gone straight to their room last night. I know she’s trying to work it through for herself.
It’s strangely comforting sitting here with Shayla. If I wanted to talk, Ink or any one of my brothers would give me their time, as I’d spare mine for anyone else, but it’s different with Shayla. She’s concerned for me more than any of the others, she’s something that I look on as mine. Oh, not in the forever sense or even sexually.
“You know,” she starts after a couple of minutes, “I’m wondering if the man you thought you knew didn’t exist. What if he didn’t want an old lady or family as deep down, he knew he had one waiting for him to find himself again? What if he’s both parts of a whole? What if he’s Vanna’s Lizard as well as yours? But just didn’t know it at the time.”
“He went with whores.” I roll my eyes at her. “Doesn’t seem much like a family man.”
“Would you?” she asks, her eyes creasing. “If you had someone, would you be faithful?”
I don’t tell her the situation would never arise, but I give it some thought and provide a truthful response. “If I was with someone, I’d never stray.” A safe answer as the whole of this is moot.
“How’s the boy handling it?”
“It’s hard for the kid, he’s confused. He doesn’t know his dad at all, only from what Vanna had told him over the years. He’s just about accepted there’s a club full of uncles for him to lean on, and he was as pleased as fuck to know he had our support. Now Lizard’s saying he wants nothing to do with the club or our life, and the kid’s likely to be ripped away from us. Cas doesn’t know what to think.”
“Perhaps that will change. It’s still early in his recovery. Don’t write him off just yet, Mace.”
It is still early. At least Prez has been able to get updates as he’s still next of kin on Liz’s records, though I’m sure Vanna wouldn’t keep his condition from us. “I thought his op would be the end of it, you know? But apparently messing with the brain is a dangerous thing. He’s weak on his right-hand side, almost as though he’s had a stroke, and he can’t walk too well which is frustrating him. His right hand doesn’t work properly either.”
“Is that his dominant one?”
“Yes.”
“Oh.”
Oh. There is the other problem. The consultant wasn’t able to give Prez a prognosis. They expect improvement once the swelling goes down, but he could be left with permanent damage. As he is now, he can neither do his job nor ride a bike.
“He’ll be getting occupational therapy,” I tell her. “We can only hope it works.”
“It’s early days,” she reminds me again.
“Next problem,” I speak half to myself, “is where he goes when he’s released. Prez is concerned if he goes back with Vanna.”
“Why? Surely that would be for the best?” She draws up her knees and wraps her arms around them.
I stare at her while I give her the reasons. “Vanna needs to work, and Cas is at school. Liz would be on his own most of the time. If he falls or needs help, no one would be there. Whereas here, someone’s always around.”
“That makes sense.” She looks thoughtful. “But what about the tattoo parlour? Can you manage without him?”
That’s the other problem we have. Even if he came back to the club, he’s not fit enough to work. “Vi’s stepping up to do the admin side, Jonah and Whale seem to be coping with the trade. But we’re down an artist, and a good one at that. It’s a big fuckin’ mess, Shay. I keep thinking it’s all my fault. Did I do wrong bringing Vanna onto the compound? Maybe if I hadn’t…”
“Can you hear yourself, Mace? Liz had a tumour.” She rolls her eyes. “I think you should be thankful instead of blaming yourself. What would have happened if he’d blacked out when he’d been riding his bike?”
I stare at her, realising she’s right. If he’d been riding in a group, he might have taken a few of us down with him. If he’d been on his own, fuck, it doesn’t bear thinking about. He could have died alone by the side of the road. I wipe my hand over my eyes. He had a tumour which was going to affect him at some time, all my actions could have done was bring it on slightly earlier. At least when he collapsed, he was here with help around.
“I miss him, Shay.”
“I wish there was something I could do to help.”
“Letting me talk to you helps,” I tell her. “And that you’re staying around. It’s one less thing for me to worry about.”
“I still don’t know why you’d worry about me, Mace.”
She’s bemused not fishing. I don’t answer, I’m actually not sure myself. There’s just something about her that I like. I like talking to her, she’s easy company. I just wish there was more I could do to take that pain out of her eyes. Once I know more about Lizard, I promise myself I’ll look into therapy for her.
“Well I’m not going anywhere, at least for now.” She offers a smile. “Pyro said he’s grateful I’m around. They needed an extra pair of hands with you lot at the hospital.”
I know that. Pyro’s also told me he’s been impressed with how she’s willing to get stuck into any manner of things which need to be done. Apparently, she’d educated one of the newer mechanics when he’d accidentally topped off a tank with gas instead of diesel. Tore him a new one and made him empty the shit out and replace it. Pyro had been impressed that she’d noticed, and luckily before any damage was done. “Ro’s pleased with your work.”
She dismisses the compliment, instead telling me, “I worry about Esme.”
“Vi rang to ask about her. Her mom said she’s doing okay. Still not talking much but settling back into her home. They’ve seen their doctor and are arranging for a child therapist. I don’t think you need to worry, she’ll be fine.”
Her lips press together. “I miss her, Mace. Kind of got used to having her around.”
“She’s back where she belongs, with her folks.” I think for a moment. “Hey, when Ink’s finished my bike, I was thinking of riding down to Flagstaff to show it to her. Why don’t you come along?”
“On your bike?” Her yelp of surprise makes me snort.
Yeah. I’ve surprised myself. Never thought of taking a bitch on the back, but if the whole purpose of going is to take it to show the painted tank to Esme, then I’ll be riding. I’m hardly going to trailer it there. It doesn’t cause me to break out in hives thinking of Shayla riding behind me. In fact, I might well enjoy it.
“It’s a long way,” she muses, not immediately dismissing the idea.
“Nine, ten hours. We could make a stop in Albuquerque, that’s about halfway.”
“I’d love to see Esme again, it’s just, I’ve never been on a motorcycle, Mace.”
“How about I take you for a ride soon, see what you think of it?” I can’t imagine how anyone could not like riding, but hey, some don’t.
She looks at me shyly. “I think I’d like that. Just to try. It’s been so long since I’ve done anything fun.”
My heart breaks for her. I’m sure it must be. Everyone needs to cut loose and let free at some time, and in my book, riding is the best way to do it.
“As soon as we’re clearer on what’s happening with
Lizard, we’ll sort something out, Shay. Just a short ride, see how you like it. Maybe head out to the mountains, get some fresh air in our lungs. What?”
She’s shaking her head, but when she speaks it seems it’s not with dismissal. “I’d like that,” she tells me, shyly.
I wonder if she’s realised yet just how close she’ll be to me when she gets up behind me on my big two-wheeler. It’s the intimacy which makes taking a female behind them something special to many men, breasts pushed up against my back, her mound pressed against my ass, and her arms around my waist. Fuck, now I’m getting hard just thinking about it, and the last thing I need to do is frighten her off before we start.
I force myself to think of something else. I stand, then look down at her. “Thanks for coming in, Shay.”
She shrugs. “Talking sometimes helps.”
I can think of something that would help more, but it’s far too soon to approach that. I’m going to have to leave her, otherwise an unruly part of me will make my thoughts known. “I’m going to get a drink.”
“I’ll be down soon.”
She will be too. She’s been getting braver since working at the shop, as if giving her mind something else to focus on and her hands something to do has settled her in some way. Or maybe it’s just because she’s getting to know us and is no longer so afraid.
I walk down the stairs, standing aside to let Vanna pass. I place my hand on her arm to halt her as I see tears in her eyes.
“You okay, Vanna? Is Liz alright?”
“Liz is improving every day, but he’s gone for a scan. They said that will take it out of him, so I’ve come back to grab a shower and a change of clothes.”
“You look upset.”
She shrugs. “After the week I’ve had, I thought it couldn’t get worse. But it has. My boss just rang to tell me I’m fired.”
She hasn’t a job any longer? Well I suppose that’s an obstacle removed to her looking after Lizard.
She continues, “And as if that wasn’t enough, when I was with Lizard, I missed a call from the police back in Denver.”
Ah. “Did you call them back?”
“Not yet,” she breathes. “I’m trying to pluck up the courage. I’m dreading what they might say.”
Placing my hand on her shoulder, I give her advice. “Call them. Whatever it is, you can deal with it once you know. Worrying about talking to the cops on top of everything else won’t help.”
“You’re right.” She gives a small smile, then disappears in the direction of Demon’s room which she and Cas are still using.
I continue downward and see Cas at the pool table. He’s knocking balls around with the cue but not playing with anyone. I grab the beer I came down for, then cross the room to him.
“How’s it going?”
“Oh, hey, Mace. Cool, I suppose.”
“You suppose?” I take a cue from the rack on the wall. “Want to set them up?”
He does so. I toss a coin, he calls it and breaks. Kid’s not bad, but I’m better. He starts frowning when I sink ball after ball, sighing with relief when I miss one.
“You happy having your dad back?”
“It’s hard…” He pauses to take a shot and then walks around the table to line up the next one. “I don’t know him, and he doesn’t know me. He’s like a stranger.”
“It will take time. Hey, what about that one? That’s the shot I’d go for.”
“Good point.” He takes a breath, holds it, and pots the next ball. “It’s been just me and Mom for so long, it will take time getting used to him being there.” He grins and looks across the table at me. “He’s no idea how to treat a teenager.”
“Cas!”
“Over here, Mom. What’s up?” Cas swings around looking concerned.
“The police have dropped the charges.”
“What the f…hell? Really? Well hot damn.” Cas fist pumps the air.
I turn away to hide my grin. It worked. Yes, a bit of money changing hands had the man who owned the car Cas had stolen suddenly having a problem with his memory. He’d been persuaded to change his story and say he could have been mistaken when he’d so firmly identified Cas. With no witness, the police couldn’t prove anything. Thank fuck the kid had at least had the sense to wear gloves. I’ll have to tell Judge his ride out to Denver had paid off.
“I can’t believe it,” breathes Vanna. “It’s too good to be true.”
“I won’t be going to juvie,” Cas rasps out, as though he’s having difficulty believing it.
“You’ve been given a fresh start, Cas,” I tell him, “Make good use of it and don’t fuck it up. Because next time, we might not step in and save you.”
“You did this?” Vanna’s eyes come to mine fast.
I tell them because Cas needs to know that it wasn’t the luck of the Devil that saved him, it was the intervention of Devils instead. “Yeah.” I focus on the kid. “Luckily the car was returned undamaged to the owner. A bit of money changed hands, and suddenly his memory became faulty. It might not have worked if Cas had crashed the car rather than sliding it into the ditch. If so, it would have been harder to persuade him.”
“How much?” Vanna asks tightly. “How much, so I can pay you back?”
“Didn’t do it for you, Vanna. We did it for Liz. Didn’t want him to reconnect with his son only to lose him. But Cas? Yeah, he owes us, it’s not down to anyone else. Man fucks up, he should suffer the consequences.”
My growling tone takes the smirk off the kid’s face.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Vanna
MRI scans after a brain operation are routine I’d been assured, just confirmation that everything was proceeding as expected. Having his head mucked around with could be painful for Lizard though and will take it out of him. He’ll need to rest afterward. Hence, I’d taken the opportunity to come back to the compound for a while. But I’m anxious to return just in case they’d found something that was cause for worry.
Before I return, there’s something I need to do.
Leaving a jubilant Cas with Mace, I go and knock on Demon’s office door. He’s inside as I’d hoped and looks up concerned as I enter.
“Lizard okay?”
“Getting there. He’s got crutches now to help him get around and is coping better with using them.” My face twists.
“Doubt he’s a patient, patient.” Demon grins.
“No, he’s definitely not. Look, I’ve had a call from the police that Cas is off the hook, and hear that’s down to you bribing the man he stole the car from. While I don’t want you to think I’m not grateful, it’s not the way I want my son brought up. He should learn he has to pay for his mistakes.”
Demon regards me thoughtfully. “Lizard hasn’t found his son only to lose him again. We stepped in because we saw that there might be something we could do. We weren’t going to threaten or hurt the man, but offer to put some dollars in his pocket? Wouldn’t harm anyone but would make my brother’s mind and recovery easier.”
Lizard’s still adjusting to having an almost-man in his life, I haven’t yet broached the trouble Cas had gotten into. Having the slate clean does make it that less difficult at least. But I don’t want any misunderstanding or things being done under false pretences. “Lizard doesn’t want anything to do with you, Demon. That hasn’t changed.”
“He made that clear. I’ve been keeping my distance to give him a chance to regain his strength. Whether or not he wants to acknowledge the relationship, he’s still one of us. We look after our own, Vanna. Not going to stop watching out for him just because his memory is fucked.”
“Are you saying I did?” My hackles start to rise. “I stuck it out for two years, Demon, until I watched him walk out. I kept tabs on him, followed him a thousand miles just in the hope that eventually he’d come back.”
“Whoa!” He holds up his hands. “I know you did, Vanna. You put your life on hold for him and your kid. No one’s saying there was any more you could
have done. We just feel the same about him that you do. He might not remember who we are, but we’re not going to forget him.”
If I kept him alive in my memory, I suppose it’s understandable they’d do the same. But there’s still one problem as I hate owing anyone anything. “Cas needs to pay you back. I don’t know how, but—”
“Yes he does,” Demon interrupts. “I’m sure we can find work for him. Don’t want his cash, but his muscles will do instead.”
“There’s a problem with that, Demon. Lizard is looking at being discharged this weekend, and I’ll be taking him back to Denver. There’s no saying when, or if, we’ll ever return.” At this moment, I’d have to say it’s highly unlikely. Lizard is adamant he wants nothing to do with the club.
“About that,” Demon starts, and leans forward, clasping his hands together on his desk. “I want you to stay here—”
“Apart from what Lizard feels about it, I can’t do that,” I interrupt. “I’ve got my…” No, I haven’t, I’ve just been fired. I start again, “Cas has got school.”
“What will Liz do while you’re out working all day? What if he falls? Or has a convulsion? Have you thought about that?”
“I won’t be working immediately. I’ve just been told I’ve lost my job. But I’ll need to find a new one, the bills won’t pay themselves.”
“Fuck, woman. You’ve got Liz now. Let him carry the load. He left you to do it alone for long enough.” Again, those eyes fix on me while I realise, I hadn’t thought of that. But if Liz can’t work, he won’t be able to bring in much money. His military pension probably isn’t going to be enough.
“I’ll be home with Liz until I can find another job,” I say firmly.
“What do you do?”
“I’m an admin assistant.”
He looks thoughtful, and his fingers pinch the bridge of his nose. “Liz being out of commission is causing us a problem at his shop. Vi’s taken on the admin stuff that he used to do, but her doing that means we’re down another tattooist. We took Weston on because there was more work than they could handle. How about you take that job? Help us out and keep things ticking over until Liz is fit again.”
Satan’s Devils MC -Colorado Box Set: Books 4-6 Page 103
