LETTER L
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.WEDNESDAY, MAY 24.
[He gives his friend an account of their interview that morning; and of the happy effects of his cousin Montague's letter in his favour. Her reserves, however, he tells him, are not absolutely banished. But this he imputes to form.]
It is not in the power of woman, says he, to be altogether sincere onthese occasions. But why?--Do they think it so great a disgrace to befound out to be really what they are?
I regretted the illness of Mrs. Fretchville; as the intention I had tofix her dear self in the house before the happy knot was tied, would haveset her in that independence in appearance, as well as fact, which wasnecessary to show to all the world that her choice was free; and as theladies of my family would have been proud to make their court to herthere, while the settlements and our equipages were preparing. But, onany other account, there was no great matter in it; since when my happyday was over, we could, with so much convenience, go down to The Lawn, tomy Lord M.'s, and to Lady Sarah's or Lady Betty's, in turn; which wouldgive full time to provide ourselves with servants and otheraccommodations.
How sweetly the charmer listened!
I asked her, if she had had the small-pox?
Ten thousand pounds the worse in my estimation, thought I, if she hasnot; for no one of her charming graces can I dispense with.
'Twas always a doubtful point with her mother and Mrs. Norton, she owned.But although she was not afraid of it, she chose not unnecessarily torush into places where it was.
Right, thought I--Else, I said, it would not have been amiss for her tosee the house before she went into the country; for if she liked it not,I was not obliged to have it.
She asked, if she might take a copy of Miss Montague's letter?
I said, she might keep the letter itself, and send it to Miss Howe, ifshe pleased; for that, I suppose, was her intention.
She bowed her head to me.
There, Jack! I shall have her courtesy to me by-and-by, I question not.What a-devil had I to do, to terrify the sweet creature by my termagantprojects!--Yet it was not amiss, I believe, to make her afraid of me.She says, I am an unpolite man. And every polite instance from such aone is deemed a favour.
Talking of the settlements, I told her I had rather that Pritchard(mentioned by my cousin Charlotte) had not been consulted on thisoccasion. Pritchard, indeed, was a very honest man; and had been for ageneration in the family; and knew of the estates, and the condition ofthem, better than either my Lord or myself: but Pritchard, like other oldmen, was diffident and slow; and valued himself upon his skill as adraughts-man; and, for the sake of the paltry reputation, must have allhis forms preserved, were an imperial crown to depend upon his dispatch.
I kissed her unrepulsing hand no less than five times during thisconversation. Lord, Jack, how my generous heart ran over!--She was quiteobliging at parting.--She in a manner asked me leave to retire; toreperuse Charlotte's letter.--I think she bent her knees to me; but Iwon't be sure.--How happy might we both have been long ago, had the dearcreature been always as complaisant to me! For I do love respect, and,whether I deserve it or not, always had it, till I knew this proudbeauty.
And now, Belford, are we in a train, or the deuce is in it. Everyfortified town has its strong and its weak place. I have carried on myattacks against the impregnable parts. I have not doubt but I shalleither shine or smuggle her out of her cloke, since she and Miss Howehave intended to employ a smuggler against me.--All we wait for now ismy Lord's letter.
But I had like to have forgot to tell thee, that we have been not alittle alarmed, by some inquiries that have been made after me and mybeloved by a man of good appearance; who yesterday procured a tradesmanin the neighbourhood to send for Dorcas: of whom he asked severalquestions relating to us; particularly (as we boarded and lodged in onehouse) whether we were married?
This has given my beloved great uneasiness. And I could not helpobserving upon it, to her, how right a thing it was that we had given outbelow that we were married. The inquiry, most probably, I said, was fromher brother's quarter; and now perhaps that our marriage was owned, weshould hear no more of his machinations. The person, it seems, wascurious to know the day that the ceremony was performed. But Dorcasrefused to give him any other particulars than that we were married; andshe was the more reserved, as he declined to tell her the motives of hisinquiry.
Clarissa Harlowe; or the history of a young lady — Volume 4 Page 52
