LETTER LI
MR. LOVELACE, TO JOHN BELFORD, ESQ.MAY 24.
The devil take this uncle of mine! He has at last sent me a letter whichI cannot show, without exposing the head of our family for a fool. Aconfounded parcel of pop-guns has he let off upon me. I was in hopes hehad exhausted his whole stock of this sort in his letter to you.--To keepit back, to delay sending it, till he had recollected all this farrago ofnonsense--confound his wisdom of nations, if so much of it is to bescraped together, in disgrace of itself, to make one egregious simpleton!--But I am glad I am fortified with this piece of flagrant folly,however; since, in all human affairs, the convenient are so mingled, thatthere is no having the one without the other.
I have already offered the bill enclosed in it to my beloved; and read toher part of the letter. But she refused the bill: and, as I am in cashmyself, I shall return it. She seemed very desirous to peruse the wholeletter. And when I told her, that, were it not for exposing the writer,I would oblige her, she said, it would not be exposing his Lordship toshow it to her; and that she always preferred the heart to the head. Iknew her meaning; but did not thank her for it.
All that makes for me in it I will transcribe for her--yet, hang it, sheshall have the letter, and my soul with it, for one consenting kiss.
***
She has got the letter from me without the reward. Deuce take me, if Ihad the courage to propose the condition. A new character this ofbashfulness in thy friend. I see, that a truly modest woman may makeeven a confident man keep his distance. By my soul, Belford, I believe,that nine women in ten, who fall, fall either from their own vanity orlevity, or for want of circumspection and proper reserves.
***
I did intend to take my reward on her returning a letter so favourableto us both. But she sent it to me, sealed up, by Dorcas. I might havethought that there were two or three hints in it, that she would be toonice immediately to appear to. I send it to thee; and here will stop,to give thee time to read it. Return it as soon as thou hast perused it.
Clarissa Harlowe; or the history of a young lady — Volume 4 Page 53