Hand In Ash

by Zoe Parker

  “That’s what happens when you get all hot and heavy with a stranger. You have no idea who they really are underneath all the pheromones.” The words seem harsh, but they’re true, and Ashley needs to hear some truth.

  “He never shuts up about you, and since you wouldn’t take him back–something I should thank you for but won’t because I almost wish you had–he started kind of obsessing over getting his revenge on you,” she explains.

  Well, duh. She barely manages not to say it out loud. Instead, she says, “He’s petty that way. I’m actually glad you saw it early on and not ten years down the road.” She’ll never be friends with this woman, but that doesn’t mean she needs to be cruel, doesn’t mean she needs to be nice either. This is as close as she can get to it.

  “I’d like to tell you I won’t take him back, but it’d be a lie.” She raises her gaze and pins Sora with a nasty look. And this is why I’ll never be nicer to her. “You’re punishing him for choosing me, aren’t you?”

  Sora shakes her head. “Na, I should thank you, honestly, but instead, I just feel sorry for you. He can’t even get your name right, is beating you up weeks into your soulmate bullshit, and here you are defending him even though you admitted he treats you like shit. The thing is, I’ve been there, done that, and never want to return to anything like that again. I suggest you take this time to figure out how to get away from him. Get some help. They have people in the shifter community who will gladly support you. Get your life together. Dig deep inside of you for the strength you need to leave and do it. Don’t do what I did for ten years and let him walk all over you and turn you into his pet rug, Ashley.” Saying the words hurt as much as they heal. If only she could go back in time and have this same conversation with herself.

  “So, you’re not going to help him and just lecture me about my life choices?” she whines out, tears in her eyes.

  Ashley isn’t going to listen. Some do, some don’t. With Ashley, it’ll take time, and hopefully, one day, she’ll wise up enough to leave too. Hurts Sora’s heart a little to know that this woman will suffer even worse than she did, but she can’t make her get help. No one can. It has to be her choice.

  “No. I’ll never lift a finger to help Max again, but if you want help… call me.” The offer is reluctant but genuine. The judgment and backlash Ashley will get from the community will be enough; the last thing she needs to do is heap more onto it.

  Ashley deserves help, not hurt.

  Devil sets a bag of food down in front of the damn near hysterical woman and gives Sora a look. Ashley stands and, without a word, stomps off towards the door, bag in hand.

  “Why do you have to help all the wounded ones, Sora?”

  “I can’t say I helped her. Fed her a meal maybe, but not helped. I can’t. She’s not ready for it, and his claws are in her deep.” Watching the door swing shut behind Ashley’s retreating form, she leans back in the chair and crosses her arms. “And that is why I don’t want to be with another shifter. What’s going on with her is more than emotional. It’s magical, and that’s as good as a shackle around her ankle.”

  “Maybe, but she has a brain and eyes. She can see what he’s like.”

  “I could too,” she whispers.

  “Could you, though? He had years to train your brain, Sora. He’s only been working on her for a few months, and we both know he isn’t that smart.”

  “Come on, Devil, it’s unlike you to be so charitable,” Sora grumbles.

  She realizes her mistake too late.

  “Fine. You were an idiot to be with him. Sometimes watching you blindly remain in that relationship with that fucking moron made me want to shut my head in the door.” Harsh.

  “Tell me how you really feel.” She rubs her chest and the invisible sting his words caused. Not nearly as much as before, but he laid it on pretty thick.

  “Well… I’m sorry, I guess that was a bit much,” he apologizes, grimacing. “It’s hard for me to relate because I’ve never experienced that. All I can see is my side of it, and that makes it hard to understand from your perspective.” His heartfelt apology shocks her more than his blunt words.

  “I love you even if sometimes I want to use you like a football,” she blurts out, and then they both laugh, easing the pain in her heart and the guilt she can still see the echoes of in his eyes. Considering he mostly kept his mouth shut for all that time, she’ll give him this one without too much trouble. A good hard kick in the pants doesn’t hurt her much either.

  Reminds her of what she escaped and what choices to avoid in the future.

  Namely, Voss Jane.

  Not that she believes she will.

  Chapter Five

  Before she has time to brace for it, Friday arrives, and with it comes the date with Voss that she stupidly agreed to. She still sticks with her plans. The painter’s bibs go well with the hair she throws up in a bandanna. She digs out her old combat boots from high school that look like they were ravaged by a tornado, and to add the final touches to the outfit, she rolls the pant legs up.

  “Oh my god, you actually did it,” Devil comments in surprise as she walks out of the bathroom.

  She turns for him and cocks a hip. “I look fabulous, no?”

  “I can’t say that’s the word I’d use, but we’ll go with it. But you realize with the way your luck goes, he’ll think you’re sexy in that getup.” She sticks her tongue out at him and does one final check in the mirror.

  There is nothing about her that says: I’m going on a hot date. If anything, she looks like his handyman. Smiling at her reflection, she grabs her coat as there’s a knock on the door. Anticipating his reaction, she swings the door open and poses in front of Voss. As her brain digests what her eyes are seeing, she breaks out into laughter.

  That motherfucker read my mind.

  He’s wearing faded, worn-out jeans with holes in the knees, a scuffed-up pair of boots identical to hers, and a green flannel shirt.

  “Don’t make me like you, Voss,” she says and tries to shut the door in his face. She’s having second thoughts about this date. The fact that he called her reaction so clearly and dressed in kind amuses the hell out of her but also lowers her guard a little with him. That’s not what she wants to do.

  He blocks the door with his foot and pushes it open when she steps back. “Given your reluctance to associate with me, especially on a date, I figured you’d do something outlandish, and this was the first thing I’d do in your place.” His voice is as smooth as silk on her senses, and she loves/hates every second of it.

  She backs further into the room as he advances. Devil, in all his bored glory, floats between them and looks Voss up and down before saying, “The look suits you, Lumberjack Jane.” Voss’s eyes narrow, but Devil just laughs and floats around him out the door. “I’ll be waiting in the car!” He calls out before the elevator doors close in front of him.

  “He really doesn’t like me, does he?” Sora shrugs at Voss’s question. It’s obvious, so answering his question is a moot point. “Are you ready to go?”

  She waves towards the door, eager to be out of the room where they’re alone. “After you.”

  “Have you picked out where you want to go for dinner?” They fall into step, side by side, but he’s just fast enough to hit the call elevator button before her.

  “Bargain Burger Barn. I like their dollar menu.” She sees his grimace before he can hide it, and she bites back a smile. He might be prepared for the clothes, but he wasn’t ready for the food choices. Near poverty gave her an iron stomach. She doubts Voss has eaten shitty food in a long time.

  When the elevator doors open, she steps in first pushing the button for the first floor before he’s even inside the elevator. Of course, he makes it in. When the doors silently slide shut, he looks at her. A gaze she can feel like a caress to her skin.

  “You actually look cute this way,” he says, moving closer to her. Not quite touching but close enough she could roast marshmallows with th
e heat coming off his skin.

  She makes herself not look at him. Truth be told, he looks hot as hell, even in the flannel. Not that he needs her to tell him that. He probably hears about his hotness level enough to give him bad habits.

  “You really don’t want to hang out with me, do you?” The seriousness of the question catches her off guard. So much so that it takes her several seconds to wind the strings of her scattered brain back together.

  He leans forward and pushes the stop elevator button.

  “Mr. Jane, is there a problem?” Comes immediately over the speaker.

  “No, turn off the camera,” he orders the bodiless voice. Curious despite herself, she stares up at the small camera in the corner of the elevator and watches it move away, and the light turn off.

  “Sora, answer me,” he demands softly.

  Deciding that she doesn’t want to have this conversation again, she turns to face him. “Do you really need to ask me that again? I think we’ve talked about it plenty.”

  “What if you’re the soulmate?” He asks softly.

  “Am I?” She demands loud enough for her voice to echo in the small space. About that time, her arm starts to tingle. “Don’t say it, because whatever is about to come out of your mouth is a lie and I don’t want to hear it.” His jaw clenches, but he remains silent. “Look,” she sighs, “you’re a great looking guy, intelligent, witty, charming as hell, but people like you chew people like me to bits. I might want you, but you’re bad for me. I may have my badass moments, but honestly, I’m still a big old soft idiot who gets her heart hurt too easily and cries watching cheesy romance movies. I will never be able to fit into your world, Voss. Ever. Because I will never be happy being second.” More of the truth came out than she wanted to tell him, but she said it, so she’ll own it.

  “I’m not sure who you’re underestimating more, you or me.” His words are not what she expected to hear and she’s so caught off guard, she doesn’t know what to say. Instead of explaining, he gives her a big, sexy smile. “Let’s get to this burger bargain place and see what kind of torture you have in store for me.”

  He pushes the button to make the elevator move again, and Sora realizes that their deep, truthful moment has passed, and maybe it gave him something to think about.

  Her too, if she’s honest with herself.

  The minute she sees the lines of mostly humans inside the restaurant, she regrets her decision to eat here. Someone will recognize Voss and this will turn into a mess. It’s what she gets for trying to be petty; it backfired. Voss is celebrity-famous and people will want pictures or autographs. Some might even run away in fear. Either way, it’ll be annoying.

  Suddenly she smiles. It’ll be annoying for him.

  “Why are you smiling like you’re plotting murder?” Voss asks, coming in the door behind her. He stops immediately, smart enough to know what he’s in for. “Fuck,” he mumbles under his breath.

  “Ha. Not only will you be eating mystery meat burgers, but you’re surrounded by potentially adoring fans. Good luck, Voss,” Devil says, floating by them to head for the counter to order food. Despite him insulting the place, he loves their food. When he looks back at Sora and Voss slyly, she sidles a few steps away, sensing what’s coming.

  “Is that Voss Jane, the Alpha Supreme?” he calls out, and as one, all the people in the restaurant turn toward the door.

  “Oh my god! It is!” someone squeals in delight.

  In amusement, Sora watches Voss tense and look over his shoulder at the door, considering running. When his too-blue eyes land on her, she almost feels sorry for him; there’s a hint of caged animal in them. Eyes that narrow and then slightly lift when he smiles, all teeth. Promising retribution.

  As the people swarm around him, leaving him standing a head taller than most, he holds her gaze. His mouth smiles and moves with words, but she can’t hear anything but her beating heart. She’ll pay for this even though it was Devil’s fault. Her eyes search out the pain in the ass and find him looking at her with a frown. Devil realizes that Voss will retaliate… against her.

  Sora turns towards the door and eyes the distance between it and her.

  “Don’t.” Voss’s softly spoken word is powerful enough to lock her in place. Not because there’s magic behind it but because he’s saying a lot with that single word. Namely, that it’ll be worse if she leaves.

  Anger stirs in her. She gives Voss a mental finger with her eyes and goes to the now empty counter to order food. She’s not going to simper and be afraid of him because he’s some special alpha. He isn’t her alpha. Or her boss. Or her anything. He has no right to interfere in her life even though he does nonstop.

  “Sora, I didn’t think,” Devil apologizes. She shrugs, she was all for it.

  “Don’t worry about him, he ain’t the boss of me, Devil.”

  “He wants to be,” Devil replies.

  “Won’t happen.”

  She orders the hottest burger they have and asks for extra heat for Voss. It’s another small, petty thing to do, but if she’s going down, it’ll be with glory. That thought makes her smile return and eases any of the anxiety stirred up by this situation. Voss is a man underneath all that heavy reputation, that’s all. A man. One who, for reasons still unknown, is pursuing her. That gives her some power over the situation, doesn’t it?

  “You’re going to scald his butthole with that burger,” Devil comments, smiling.

  “He’ll probably belch flame and tell me how good it is,” she teases.

  After their brief talk in the elevator, if that’s what it was, she’s a little out of sorts and needs this laughter. She point-blank told him her thoughts on everything, and he still wants to be around her. She doesn’t get it but, after making her limits clear, feels more comfortable with the situation. She set boundaries for maybe the first time ever, and it’s encouraging to be able to do that.

  Voss helped her out without realizing it.

  “Devil, you’re a dick,” Voss comments, finally having extracted himself from the crowd of people holding him hostage. He crowds up behind her, and if she had room to step forward, she would have, even though she wanted to lean back against him.

  “Yeah, I know.” Devil isn’t concerned about Voss’s opinion of him and will probably do much worse in the future. No, not probably.

  “I hope you ordered me something good. It smells like it’ll burn the skin off my face,” Voss says, his warm breath tickling her ear. She stiffens, fighting the urge to respond.

  “It’ll grow back, won’t it?” Shifters have incredible healing abilities but there are some things they can’t heal from, like bites from their own kind and certain kinds of magical weapons.

  “So vicious. It’s one of the things I like most about you.”

  She turns to look over her shoulder at him and immediately regrets it. He’s so close that to kiss him would require little to no effort. Damnit.

  “If I go back to being nice and accommodating all the time, will that bore you enough to go away?” He smiles at her words and her heart rate ratchets up again.

  “We both know that won’t happen.”

  She starts to ask him why and then closes her mouth and looks away. Sora knows quite a bit about magic. The taste of it, the smell of it, the feel of it. What just passed between the two of them wasn’t magical. That was all physical. It also kills the magical mojo theory, and that doesn’t make her happy. It means the only thing she can blame is herself. She can’t even blame Voss.

  There’s a chance that despite all his reasons, he’s as attracted to her as she is to him.

  Clenching her teeth and catching the edge of her tongue in the process, she fights down the piece of her that’s so attracted to him. She will not be ruled by it! Her life is her own, and a crazy fling with the king of shifters isn’t on the to-do list. She is just discovering who she really is. To be with him is to lose all that.

  “Why are you bleeding?” Voss demands, grabbing her chin
and turning her face towards him. He lightly sniffs her mouth.

  “I accidentally bit my tongue,” she answers through her clenched teeth.

  “I know you don’t want this, I’m not sure I do either, but can you really condemn it before it begins, Sora?” he asks, his face serious.

  Her anger fades, and she sighs. “You’re too much, Voss.”

  His eyes search her face, and when he finds what he’s looking for, he leans closer. “How about we call a truce and be friends for now? Can we do that?”

  “You’ll be satisfied with that?” Friends she could handle. She hoped.

  “In other words, she’s asking you to chill out your man-mojo and let her live her life for a while before trying to eat her up like a goddamn piece of candy,” Devil adds. It’s not exactly what she was going to say but close enough that she doesn’t argue it.

  “I still want to be near you if you’ll allow it?” That request surprises her.

  “On my terms, Voss, and we have a deal.” He searches her eyes again and nods.

  They get their food and manage to avoid any other of his new fan club members and find a booth towards the back of the dining room. Voss tries to slide in behind her, but Devil swoops in and blocks him with a smirk. Voss’s only outward reaction is a raised eyebrow before he takes a seat across from her, nearly taking up the entire half of the booth.

  Idly chewing on a fry, Sora watches him closely as he takes the first bite out of his burger. His eyes widen slightly but then he smiles and chews with gusto, eating the entire burger in less than four bites.

  She was right. He really is Satan.

  Chapter Six

  Voss insisted on dropping her off at her room, and Devil, the prick, abandoned her to stand outside the door awkwardly with Voss looking at her with laughter in his eyes. The rest of the ‘date’ went well, and they ended up talking about nonsensical things like the mating cycle of a polar bear shifter and the price of charms increasing.