“Is that why you wanted to leave? Because you don’t like who runs Cirvka?”
Blade shuts his mouth. His jaw ticks as if he’s said too much. He doesn’t respond to her question but she can’t help but feel he isn’t telling her the whole truth. “He’s forced to do things. I’ve heard rumors of tasks he’s done,” Blade shakes his head and bars his teeth. “Horrible things. If I were you, Roe, I would stay far away from Shadow.”
“Blade,” she asks more desperately this time. “Why did you try to escape? What happened?”
“I think it’s time Blade got some rest,” a healer enters their section of the tent. Rowan looks over her shoulder to see the healer holding the flap open, waiting for her to leave. Rowan turns back at Blade one more time, but he’s already turned his head ignoring her presence.
Returning to Lola and Solana, Rowan can’t help but think of Blade. She can’t help but wonder why he lied about not remembering his reason for his attempted escape. What leader is Shadow working for and what is he capable of? Is it so bad that Blade risked his life to get over the electrical fence?
Rowan gives Blade the benefit of the doubt—he was crazy talking. Probably still rattled from his injury. This makes her think of the conversation she had with Knoton yesterday, but Shadow had said he likes to stir up things and Rowan had believed it. She doesn’t feel so sure anymore. Between Knot and Blade, Rowan is starting to think there’s more to Cirvka than what’s being led on.
She’s seeing two sides to this place, one as a sanctuary where low bloods have come for salvation and the other as a fortified prison. It brings her back to what Knot said about this place, how everyone is here for a reason. If she can find out what that reason is, everything will be much simpler.
Pepper joins them in Lola’s booth after her third performance of the day. They read more books and try more potions. Rowan’s main focus has been finding her magic, but her interest has derailed toward the hidden secrets of Cirvka. She’s much more interested in Cirvka’s purpose and what all the low bloods are really doing here. Someone’s lying and she isn’t sure who to believe.
Just because someone tells you something, doesn’t automatically make it the truth.
Rowan knows first hand that low bloods have come to Cirvka because their families were killed by Shevka, or their villages and homes destroyed by Shevka. They came here for solace, food, and shelter. Is it entirely possible that this large fenced area is meant to keep Dakra in? Rowan begins to think of Arlo’s part in Cirvka, whatever part it is, it can’t be a good one. Since Rowan has arrived here she’s felt safe. The collars were supposed to track them if they went missing, it was to ensure safety. It was never supposed to electrocute people if they escaped.
Rowan’s lessons have always taught her that low bloods have always been the makers of destruction. They ruin the balance and peace in the lands. Shevka value Cirvka because they have always felt low bloods must be restricted and restrained. Rowan is having a hard time believing Dakra are on the wrong side. She’s seen nothing but compassion from her friends who fear the fae she once considered her family—her people. Lola, Solana, and Pepper have both described the lands outside of Cirvka to be cruel toward low bloods. Cirvka is a place where low bloods can be together without fear of being harmed. The common theme between Rowan’s tent-mates stories and the stories of Knot and Blade are a common theme of hating the Shevka.
“You seem distracted is something on your mind?” Pepper touches Rowan’s shoulder gently thrusting her out of her deep thought.
Rowan shakes her head trying to dismiss her worries. She bites her tongue, but her mind is so busy with questions she can’t help but voice them, “What is your opinion on Cirvka?”
“I think it’s saved my life,” they all agree to that statement. The three of them go on about how Shevka soldiers would raid villages, kill males and do even worse to females. They discuss how their entire lives have been lived in fear since the new king—her father—took the throne. But Cirvka is where they no longer have to live in fear. It’s not an ideal life, but it’s a life they have as compared to outside these gates.
“Why?” Lola sits beside her. “Are you still worried about not having powers? About not having a place here? You belong here with us or else Shadow would’ve never brought you here.”
“How come some don’t like being here?” Rowan picks at the dirt underneath her usually clean fingernails. It’s makes her all too aware of how long it’s been since she’s had a proper bath. It’s one of the things she misses most from back at the castle—warm tubs.
“Are you talking about Blade?” Lola sighs. “People like Blade are a little messed up. He’s one of the knife performers. He’s had it rough, it’s not easy like running a booth. He sword fights and does dangerous tricks...he’s probably sick of it.”
That must be what those white scars all over his chest and arms were from—knives. The wounds make Rowan think back to Shadow and how he suffered at the hands of a whip. She wishes she knew who did that to do. Did a Shevka do that to him when he was outside of the gates, was it Prince Arlo, or was it someone unknown? Possibilities run through Rowan’s mind and can’t stop thinking—can’t stop asking.
Perhaps whoever injured Shadow is the same someone Blade was running away from.
Another unsuccessful night leaves them moping around their tent before bedtime. Solana writes in her journal before the lantern shuts off, while Lola quickly passes out and Pepper brushes her hair. Rowan lays on top of her mattress, a thin blanket covering her as she attempts to fall asleep. Her eyes refuse to shut and bring her into a deep slumber. She can’t shut off her brain and relax. She can’t stop thinking. Can’t stop wondering.
Rowan’s mind goes back to the night Arlo was after her. Arlo has never attacked any of siblings unless they presented a threat to him. She never once went after the throne, never once bothered with eliminating any of her brothers to better her place in line. Aside from teasing and vicious games, they never bothered with her. Especially Arlo.
That night she told him she was no threat, he told her that’s where she was wrong. That night he learned something, whether it was Rowan being Dakra or something else entirely, that is certainly an answer she’d like to have.
Every morning she wakes up hoping to get answers to questions that plagued her mind the night before. Every night she goes to bed with more questions than the night before. She shuts her eyes and tries to solve the riddles, but all she can do is come up with hypothetical scenarios. As soon as her eyes start to drift off with exhaustion, muffled shouting startles her up in bed.
She looks around to see her three roommates are still sleeping. The noise is coming from outside the tent. Barefooted, Rowan tiptoes out of the tent to get a better listen. She opens the tent flap but the talking is still too distant. She moves even closer to the noise.
“And if I were to say something about it, how would you know? It’s not like you can—“
“Shut up!” Shadows voice rings through clear. “I’ve had enough of you. You know he wouldn’t want you saying a word.”
“I didn’t say anything,” the second voice sounds like Blade.
“Next time you want to do something as stupid as that was, I’ll call him in and he can deal with you.”
“Tired of doing Daddy’s dirty work?” Blade sneers with derision.
“Screw you,” Shadow scoffs. “If you utter a single word—”
“I won’t!” Blade defends himself. “I know.”
“Good. I don’t need your stupidity along with your other half ruining everything.”
“Yessir,” Blade says through gritted teeth before she hears footsteps descending through leaves and twigs.
Rowan can’t believe what she heard. Doesn’t believe nor understand. This confirms her suspicion, something is going on. Something is going on and Shadow knows.
“Out late?” Before she can register it’s Shadow appearing behind her. She swings at him and he ducks, mis
sing effortlessly. “It’s not nice to eavesdrop,” he frowns.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I couldn’t sleep so I came outside for some fresh air.”
“You’re such a bad liar,” Shadow gives her an incredulous stare. “I know you have a million questions. I’ll allow you one, since I’m such a nice guy.”
“Who is ‘Daddy?’” Rowan’s voice catches in her throat while she asks. Her tutors used to warn her never to ask questions she didn’t want answers to. All this snooping she’s afraid to uncover something she shouldn’t. She debates whether to leave it alone or not, but since Cirvka concerns her and her new friends—she’ll get to the bottom. Mark her words.
“Daddy is what children call their paternal parent.” The supercilious expression on his face has Rowan fuming.
“You know what I mean,” she crosses her arms.
“Did I? I answered your question.”
“No,” stubbornly, she continues, “Answer in the context from what I heard.”
Shadow doesn’t take his eyes off her the whole conversation. They stand facing each other and he steps closer, so close that she feels one of his shadows wrapping around her forearm. “Perhaps you misheard. It’s getting late, Roe. Exhaustion can play wonders on the mind.” Shadow gives her a beseeching smile and then always, he’s gone instantaneously.
* * *
Shadow is mysterious. Shadow is secretive. Shadow is reserved. Shadow is infuriating. Shadow is impossible. Rowan makes a list of all the adjectives that describe Shadow. How can she have a conversation with him when all he does is disappear. What’s worse, how can she have a conversation with someone who withholds the truth.
She knows what she heard last night, it was Shadow warning Blade not to give away some secret. The thing that stumps Rowan the most is, Daddy. Did Blade mean Shadow’s actual father? If that’s so, then where is he? Who is he?
At lunch Shadow doesn’t utter a single word to her and acts as though last night didn’t happen. It takes every ounce of self control not to badger him. She’s still buzzing with insatiable curiosity. Solana, Lola, and Pepper talk amongst themselves as she stares at Shadow meticulously eating his food.
Rowan leans in close, “Why did you bring me back here that first night?”
Shadow looks up at her. He’s silent.
“I know you won’t answer any questions about Blade, but at least answer questions regarding me. Why me?”
“Why not you?” He avoids answering.
“Roe,” Lola interrupts and Shadow goes back to eating. “We think we have a solution to your problem.”
“Really? What is it?” She drops her utensil and pushes the tray aside giving her more space to lean in closer.
“Okay, so I was reading about curses and there is a curse that inhibits one’s power. Their magic gets suppressed into something that acts like a lock and key. The key is a phrase.”
“And what is the phrase?”
“We don’t know,” her smile falters. “Whoever came up with the phrase is the one who cursed you.”
Rowan groans in irritation. Right when they were making progress, another factor has to make things a thousand times more complicated. Another question added to her list, “Lola, you do realize that could be anyone.”
“Well, any sorcerer,” she chews on her bottom lip. “Maybe it’s the same one who glamoured you too!”
“Still doesn’t help, Lola,” annoyance fills her tone.
“I know this isn’t the answer you were looking for, but we’re one step closer. We know your magic is cursed and locked away somewhere. Is there anything you keep on you at all times? Any precious items you’ve had since birth?” Solana asks.
Rowan never had many possessions in her life. Being a princess you’d think she’d have everything she’s ever wanted. Truth is, she’s wanted very little out of life. Things she did want, money couldn’t buy nor would her parents provide.
Friendship, love, adventure.
The possessions she did own consisted of bookshelves filled with books and various dresses in her closest. But there’s only one possession she’s had since birth. Something she’s never parted with.
Rowan reaches down the collar of her shirt and pulls out a necklace. The necklace is a thin gold chain with a rose colored amulet as the pendant. In certain lighting, the amulet gives off a colorful iridescent specks and if stared at long enough, there is a quick glow of magic sparking from inside.
“Perfect,” Lola grabs it and stares. “That’s your magic, Roe! It’s all right here! Cursed in your amulet.”
“But it does us no good without the passphrase.”
“Don’t worry, we will figure something out,” Pepper pats my back. “This is good news. Now we know for sure you aren’t useless,” she jokes and Rowan laughs.
Rowan can’t help but stare at Shadow for the rest of lunch. Lately, the only time she sees him is during meal times. Other than that he is off doing ‘lackey’ things. As always he’s quiet. He puts his head down and silently eats, pretending he doesn’t hear a single word any of them are saying. He ignores them completely. She wants to ask him questions and have longer than a couple of minutes conversation without him disappearing on her. Shadow has answers and Rowan wants them—he just isn’t willing to give them.
Pepper is the first to leave the table followed by Solana and Lola who are going to do some more digging. They promptly pluck hairs from her head to use for spells and potions. Rowan sees Shadow begin to move to leave but she puts her hand on top of his, stopping him. He gazes up at her with dark uncertain eyes.
“I need you to answer some questions for me.”
Shadow twists his lips and contemplates whether to stay or run. He sits, but shakes his head as though he’s cursing himself for choosing to stay. “I don’t know what you want to hear from me, Roe. I don’t know what type of answers you’re looking for.”
“The truth, Shadow,” Rowan replies with desperation. Shadow is dressed in plain black shirt with black fitted pants that have stains on them. His pants are tucked into boots that are dirty with mud. His hair is greasy and slicked backed, curling underneath his ears. His face holds handsome features that any female would gawk at if she weren’t so afraid. His shadows are always ready to strike or remove him from any situation. His height and build can intimidate even the biggest of creatures. But it’s his strange eyes that are cold and seemingly soulless.
“And what makes you think you’ve been lied to?” He crosses his arms over his chest.
“I haven’t exactly gotten the whole truth.”
“Ask me,” he shrugs nonchalantly.
“Why are low bloods here?”
“To escape the oppression caused by the Shevka rule.”
“Don’t answer with what I want to hear. I know you’re lying. Knot said we’re all here for a reason and Blade tried escaping because of something—I assume—so horrible that he risked his life to get on the other side of these gates.”
“Listen,” he takes a deep breath. “Whatever enigmatic things those two idiots said, have nothing to do with you. Have nothing to do with Cirvka. You’re here because you’re welcome and because your life is safer in here than out there. It is better than out there because Shevka destroy low bloods lives. They orphan low blooded children, making them homeless, starving them by refusing them food. Denying the children education because they don’t want their kids to associate with low bloods. Low blooded adults can’t find jobs because no Shevka owned shops and business will hire them. You might be Dakra but you have been raised as Shevka and you will never understand what we all went through.”
Rowan goes silent. She feels embarrassed for pushing him so far. No, she couldn’t understand what her friends and all other low bloods went through—but she wants to. They are her kind and even though she isn’t a princess anymore, she wants to protect them like one. “What reason am I here for?”
“It’s not that complicated. You’re looking too deep into
what Knoton said. Yes, everyone is here for a reason because everyone has a story. You’re here for a reason, aren’t you? Yes. We all have our reason for being here. All unique stories that unite us as one family.”
Rowan shakes her head. “But what about Blade? What about the electric collars and what I heard last night?”
Shadow stands this time brushing his shirt with his hands. He says in a tone so low she can barely hear him, “We did it to keep us safe from Shevka. There was a performer once who was kidnapped, she was brutally beaten and killed right outside of these gates. The idea of the electric collars was to put a tracking device in it so if someone goes missing, we can hopefully find them in time. The shock is so if anyone is touching you as you cross the gates, they will get shocked too. They will let go and you can escape.”
Rowan opens her mouth but nothing comes out. She’s speechless, “But…”
“I think you’re very smart, Roe. But I think you overthink too much. I understand this transition is difficult for you along with the frustration of not having any powers and becoming Dakra, but you’re imagination is a little overactive. Cirvka will take care of you better than any place out there could. Now, I suggest you get some sleep. You look exhausted.”
The dark bags under her eyes are proof that she is, in fact, more tired than she has ever been in her entire life. She had been so used to her large, feather soft mattress that sat on a high wooden frame that she is not used to a lumpy, low mattress on the ground. Her insulated warm room in the castle so unlike the drafty tent she currently resides in now. She is also getting used to roommates—one who snore too.
All of those reasons are factors for her lack of sleep.
It’s not like Rowan ever received a good night’s rest at the castle either. As comfortable as her room and bed was, night time at the castle could best be described as sleeping with one eye open. Despite her guards, her murderous, bitter, and vengeful brothers had no trouble breaking in a handful of times. Although they never meant to kill, they always meant to harm and petrify. She could never trust anyone. Being here it’s hard for her to see the good. Was she reading too much into Blade and Knot’s words? She’s been painting an illusion in her head that there’s some dark secret in a place that has helped low bloods—including herself.
Fight for the Crown Page 7
