My Valentine

by Tracie Peterson

  This sobered him and he pulled her quickly back onto the main street before something else could happen. “I didn’t mean it that way and you know it. I have only the highest admiration for you.”

  “But there are many in your circle of friends who believe we are nothing but Jewish scum. The Christ-killers. That’s what they call us.”

  “But they can’t blame you or your people for what a few. . .” he fell silent.

  Darlene smiled, knowing that his words were about to match hers. “People can be cruel without even knowing it. We came to this country for many reasons. One of the most inspiring was the growing hatred of Jews in my native home of Germany. That hatred started innocently enough with whispered insults and indifference. Gradually the name calling and assaults on our homes resulted in our being unable to live in certain areas and work at certain jobs. Can you imagine allowing such hatred to dictate the laws of the land?”

  “How can you not hate them in return?” Pierce asked.

  “I don’t know. I suppose it is like Tateh says, ‘To hate another requires that you keep the ugliness of their deed written on your heart so that you might hold it up to remember them by.’ ”

  “Your father is very wise. Perhaps that is why his heart was so open to the Word of God regarding Jesus.”

  Darlene nodded. “It may well be.” She felt the familiar stirrings and knew that, more than anything else, she would like for Pierce to better explain Jesus to her. “I wonder if you would tell me a bit about your Jesus.”

  If Pierce was surprised by her words, he didn’t say so. “Jesus came as a baby to this world. You know of the Christmas celebration?” Darlene nodded. “We celebrate His birth and give gifts to each other in honor of the day. In truth, Jesus came to a lowly Jewish couple, a carpenter and his wife. Joseph and Mary. He was a gift from God to the world. He came among men, because God wanted to draw all men to Him. He wanted to give man a path to forgiveness and eternal life. Jesus said in John fourteen, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.’ So you see, we believe that by accepting Jesus as Messiah and repenting of our sins, we accept the way to God and eternal life.”

  They were back to the shop by now, but Darlene wished they could walk on forever. She found her heart clinging to every single word Pierce said. Could it be true? Could Jesus really be the Messiah her people looked for? Had they simply missed the signs or had they willingly ignored them?

  “And you believe all of this, without any doubt at all?” she asked softly, looking up to find Pierce’s tender expression.

  “Without any doubts or fears,” he whispered, taking her small hands in his own.

  “But what makes you so certain?” She felt a tingle of excitement shoot up her arm and goosebumps form on her skin.

  “He makes me certain,” Pierce replied. “He makes me certain deep within my soul.”

  Chapter 13

  And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus:

  for he shall save his people from their sins.

  Matthew 1:21

  They stood by the shop door for what seemed a long time before Darlene finally turned the handle and went inside. Pierce followed her, but paused just inside the door.

  “Think about what I said,” he told her.

  Darlene couldn’t help but think of all the things he’d said. Things about leaving New York, wanting her and her father to go to Chicago, and that Jesus loved her. “I will,” she promised. And then without warning, he gave her one more thing to think about.

  Taking her face in his hands, he placed a very light kiss upon her lips. “I love you,” he whispered. Darlene opened her eyes in a flash of confusion and wonder. She stared up at him, not really believing she’d heard the wordsaccurately.

  As if reading her mind, he repeated them. “I love you. I think I always have.”

  Before she could say a single word, he turned and left the shop, gently closing the door between them. To Darlene it was a moment she would always remember. Pierce Blackwell loved her and had kissed her as a token of his affections. Touching her hand to her lips, she could scarcely breathe. He loves me? It wasn’t mere infatuation on her part? She thought of the hundreds of daydreams she’d had about him. Dreams of marriage and love, romance, and a future as Pierce Blackwell’s wife.

  “Darlene, is that you?” her father called from upstairs.

  “Yes, Tateh.” She could barely say the words. Her voice seemed incapable of working properly and her legs felt like leaden weights.

  “Are you all right? Is Pierce still with you?”

  “No. I mean, yes I’m all right, but Pierce has gone home.” At least, she presumed he’d gone home.

  She forced her legs to work and pulled the bonnet from her head as she made her way upstairs. She thought about Pierce and his words about Jesus. Tateh believes in Jesus, she thought. Pierce believes in Jesus. Why should I not believe in Him just because all of my life I’ve been taught one way?

  At the top of the stairs she paused. The only person in the entire world who could help her now was her father. “Tateh,” she called, coming into the kitchen, where he sat eating a bowl of soup. “I need to talk to you.”

  Abraham put down his spoon and motioned her to take a chair. “Is something wrong? You look as though you bear the weight of the world.”

  Darlene put aside her bonnet and shawl and sat down. “Tateh, there are things I want to know about.”

  “What things?”

  She took a deep breath. “Pierce told me that Jesus came to make people a way back to God. He said Jesus said that He was the way and that no one could get to God except by going through Jesus.”

  “That is true.”

  “But our people do not believe in Jesus as Messiah. They don’t believe that they need someone to make a way for them to God.” She paused, reflecting on a lifetime of training. “They believe each man is responsible for his own sin, so therefore how could Jesus take on the responsibility for all mankind and settle the matter for even those people yet to come?”

  Abraham smiled. “Because God loves us, He showed mercy. He gave Jesus as a means to demonstrate his love. Not only for the people of His own time, but for the future generations. He was born purposefully to save His people, and Darlene, we are His people, even before the Gentiles.”

  “But our people rejected him as Messiah. They saw Him die and presumed that He couldn’t possibly be what they expected.”

  “Not only that, but Jesus made a great many people, especially those who were high Jewish authorities, very uncomfortable. His way would bring change and people often resent change.”

  Darlene thought instantly of Pierce and his words about change being good. “But if Jesus was the Messiah we looked for, why have our people suffered so? Are we being punished for rejecting Him? Is God reckoning with us for something we didn’t understand?”

  “Who can know God’s mind?” Abraham said with a shrug. “I suppose I look at the world and our place within the bounds of mankind and I say, ‘There are many problems here.’ Not only the Jews suffer. Think about history. Even the Christian church has had its bloody times. The world has seen plagues and sufferings throughout. Even here in America the plight of the slave is evidence of injustice. They were taken from their homes and forced away from families and loved ones in order to work for people they didn’t know. Many people are hurting and suffering. I don’t think God has forgotten us. Remember the sufferings of Job?”

  “Yes, but how can God continue to let such things go on? Can’t He see what is happening?”

  Abraham shrugged. “I think He keeps better watch than you imagine. It’s a matter of trusting, Darlene. We have to have faith just as the children of Israel had faith that God would lead them through the desert.”

  “Yes, but God allowed them to wander for forty years,” she added.

  “But was that because of God’s indifference or their sin?”

  Darlene nodded.
“I guess I see what you’re saying. We often suffer our lots in life because of our own disobedience. By our own hand we create the miseries of the world, is that right?”

  “I believe so,” Abraham replied.

  “Then the Jewish rejection of Jesus could well have something to do with our people’s miseries. Not because God is angry that we rejected the Messiah, but because we continue in blindness to seek another way.”

  “Perhaps.”

  Darlene looked at her father and in her heart she felt the birth of something very precious. It was a trust in God that she’d never before known. “Tateh, is Jesus the Messiah?”

  Abraham smiled. “He is.”

  “And you are certain? There is no room for doubt in your heart?”

  “None.”

  “That’s what Pierce said.”

  “And what did you think of that?”

  Darlene sat back and breathed a deep breath. What did she think of it? Wasn’t that part of the reason she was seeking out her father’s advice? “He seemed very confident. I suppose I envy that confidence. When I am with my friends, I feel there is an emptiness that no one can explain. When I was little, I thought like you, that it had to do with Mother’s death. When I got older, my women friends told me that I was simply yearning for a husband and family. But Tateh, I don’t believe that’s what I’m looking for.

  “There are many women in our community who are married with many children of their own, and yet, I know there is a void within them as well. I’ve talked to Rachel and Dvorah and even Esther and all of them have known this emptiness. Esther says she fills it with work and other things.”

  “Mostly gossip and sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong, no?” Abraham said with a smile.

  “It’s true Esther is an old busybody, but perhaps she is one because she is empty and lonely inside. Who knows?” Darlene replied with a shrug.

  “God knows and He sees all.”

  “I do believe that.” She thought of Pierce’s certainty and of her father’s unwavering faith. “And you believe that the Messiah has already come and that He is Jesus. You believe that the Christians are right and that we Jews are wrong.”

  “I believe that Jesus came to save all people. I believe the faith of my fathers is valid and important, but falls short of a complete understanding of God’s love and mercy. You must understand, Darlene, I do not throw away my Jewish heritage to take up one of Christianity. I am a Jew, but I also believe in Jesus.”

  Darlene shook her head. “I don’t see how this can be so. I’ve been taught since I can first remember that you cannot be both Jewish and Christian. I’ve been taught that Jesus is not the Messiah we seek, for if Jesus was Messiah why did He not set up his Messianic Kingdom and restore Jerusalem? I so want to believe what you say is true, but a lifetime of beliefs stand between me and Jesus.”

  Abraham took hold of her hand and patted it lightly. “God will make a way through the desert. Just as He made a way for the Israelites so long ago. You mustn’t be afraid to let God show you the way, however. Pray and trust Him, and let Him show you the truth.”

  “But how will I know that it is the truth, Tateh?” She searched his face, knowing that her expression must surely register the pleading of her soul.

  “You will know,” he said smiling. “You will know because God will give you peace of heart and mind.”

  

  In the warmth of his bed, Pierce awoke in the middle of the night with only one thought He had to pray for Darlene! He felt the call so urgently that it wouldn’t let him be

  “Dear God, what has happened? What is it that I should pray about?” He struggled with the covers of his bed and went to the fireplace to rekindle the flames.

  The fire caught and grew, bringing with it a warm-orange glow to the room. Sitting cross-legged in front of the hearth, Pierce reached up to the nightstand and took down his Bible. He read for several minutes, but again the urgency to pray was upon him. He buried his face in his hands, struggling against the image of Darlene’s innocent expression after his kiss.

  “Father,” he began in earnest. “I love Darlene, but I know Your Word tells me not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. I can’t help loving her, though. She is a special part of my life and I’ve already told You that I will walk away and go to Chicago without her, if that’s what You want me to do.”

  Utter misery took hold of him and it felt as though a part of his heart was being ripped in two. When had she become so important to him? When had he lost his heart so completely to her? There had to be a way to bridge the distance. There had to be an answer he was not seeing. I love her, and I want her to be my wife! But even as he acknowledged this truth, God’s Spirit overshadowed it with the Word. What fellowship could light have with darkness?

  “But God, she’s not evil. She’s faithful to serve You in her own way.”

  The words seemed to echo in his mind. “Her own way.” Not God’s way.

  This did nothing to lay aside the need to pray and so Pierce tried to refocus his thoughts and pray just for the woman he loved. “Darlene needs to know You, Father. She needs to know that You love her and she needs to accept Jesus into her heart. Please dispel her fears and let her mind be open to the truth. Give her peace, dear God. Let her come unto You and know the joy and contentment of being reconciled.”

  Assurance flooded Pierce’s soul. This was good and right and exactly what he needed to do. Until the wee hours of the morning, Pierce continued to pray for Darlene and her father. It was as if a spiritual battle was raging somewhere and Darlene’s soul was the prize. Pierce was not about to let go of her, and he knew that God would not let go of her either. Feeling a stillness within, Pierce collapsed into bed just as the horizon brought the first signs of morning light.

  “I love her, God,” he whispered, “but I give her to You.”

  Chapter 14

  For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that whichis perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

  1 Corinthians 13:9–10

  December came in with bitter cold and strong winter winds. Darlene found it impossible to keep the house warm, and in spite of her efforts, Abraham grew weaker. When he finally succumbed to his illness and remained in bed, Darlene knew that her worst fears were coming true. Somewhere, deep down inside, she knew that her father was dying.

  She tried to busy herself so as not to think about such morbid things. She took what few orders she could get for suits and cut them herself, relying on the briefest of measurements lest she cross over the line of propriety by measuring the men herself. She was up before the light of day and still working long into the hours of the night. Cutting patterns out of heavy wool, stitching through thick layers until her fingers bled, and constantly worrying about her father. And through it all, her heart reflected on the words of her father and of Pierce. She thought of God’s love and the hope that was found in the belief that Messiah would one day come and properly restore all things. If only Messiah would come now.

  Every week when Sabbath came, she would light the candles and ask the blessing, but her heart sought something more. Her soul yearned to understand in fullness the mystery that eluded her. Sometimes when her father slept, she would creep in to sit by his side, and as she sat there she would pray for understanding. Once, she even picked up his Yiddish New Testament, a gift from Dennison Blackwell. Thumbing through the pages, she found a most intriguing passage in a section marked, “The First Letter of Paul the Apostle to the Corinthians.” Chapter thirteen was all about love. The writer said, in his own way, that even if he were really good and had the best of intentions and kept the faith, but didn’t have love, it was all for nothing.

  Verse twelve caught her attention and stayed with her throughout the days that followed. “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” That’s how she felt. Like she was seeing God and the world th
rough a dark, smudgy glass. There were parts that seemed glorious and too wondrous to speak of. Like Messiah and God’s ability to forgive. There were also parts that seemed clouded and vaguely open to understanding. Like eternity and Messiah’s coming and whether her people had been wrong to reject Jesus.

  Sitting as close to the kitchen stove as possible, Darlene worked at her sewing and allowed her thoughts to drift to Pierce. She hadn’t seen him in weeks and she couldn’t help but wonder if he’d already left for Chicago. He’d said that he loved her, but apparently there was nothing more he could say or do, for he’d never written or come back to say more. Perhaps it was just as well. They lived in two very different worlds.

  Darlene tried to imagine him at home. No doubt the comfort of his wealth kept him from too seriously considering his love for a Jewess. Still, he had asked her to come west with him. He’d promised to help her and Tateh. A shop in Chicago! She tried to envision it. Pierce had said it could be as large as she liked. How wonderful it would be to plan out such a thing. She would make all the rooms on the ground floor so that her father wouldn’t have to trudge up and down the stairs. She’d put their rooms at the very back and make it so that the shop could be completely closed away from the living quarters. And they’d have huge fireplaces and stoves to keep the building warm.

  A loud knock sounded on the downstairs door, causing Darlene to nearly drop her scissors. She put aside her sewing and hurried down the stairs. What if it’s Pierce? she wondered and smoothed back her hair with one hand while adjusting her shawl with the other.

  She peered through the window shade and was surprised to find Esther standing on the other side. “Esther, it’s freezing outside; you shouldn’t have come out!” she chided.

  “It was colder in the old country. I can bear a little cold,” she said, hurrying through the door nevertheless. She held out a covered pot. “It’s soup for your father. I’ve heard it said he is ill.”