My Valentine

by Tracie Peterson

  “Hurry,” she called over her shoulder, making her way down the stairs. She had just reached the bottom when the east wall of the shop burst into flames. It lit up the smoky room and instantly ate up the dry wood of the shelves.

  “We’ll have to go out the back way!” she yelled above the roar of the fire. Pierce nodded, and pushed her forward.

  “Hurry up,” he said. “Hurry or we’ll die!”

  Darlene pushed through the putrid smoke as if trying to cut a way through to the back room. There was no way to see in the smoke now, and suddenly she grew frightened wondering if Pierce was still behind her. There was no breath to be wasted on words, however, and all she could do was pray that God would allow them both to find their way.

  Flailing her arms before her, Darlene finally hit the wall of the back room and then the door. She fumbled with the latch and slid back the lock. Pulling the door open only brought in more smoke and by now her head was growing light from the lack of oxygen. She felt dizzy and wondered if she could possibly make it another step. Slumping against the door frame, she was startled when Pierce pushed her through. He seemed to have the strength of ten men as he pulled her along the alleyway.

  Hazy images filtered through Darlene’s confusion. She knew they were in danger, but now, gasping for each breath, she couldn’t imagine that anything mattered as much as fresh air. She wondered where they were going. Her mind played tricks on her and she became convinced that if she could just rest for a few moments, all would be well.

  They had reached the front of the building and now the entire shop was in flames. Darlene still felt Pierce’s iron-clad grip on her wrist, but her legs were growing leaden. She turned to see the walls of her home collapse and knew that the end of her world had come.

  “My valentine!” she cried, suddenly trying to jerk away from Pierce.

  “What?”

  The air was only marginally better here, but Darlene felt her senses revitalized. “My valentine, the one you gave me!”

  “I’ll buy you a hundred others. You can’t go back now; the place is completely destroyed.” He pulled her along and made his way down the block to where he had hidden his buggy. Thank you, God, he offered in silent prayer. His one consuming worry had been that someone would find the landau and steal it for their own transportation.

  Putting Abraham in the back, Pierce grabbed up several blankets and pulled Darlene to the driver’s seat with him. He tucked blankets around them and then urged the nervous horses forward.

  They made their way down the alley and side streets until they’d reached Wall Street. From here they could see the bright flames and eerie glow in the night sky, but the air was clean and only marginally scented with smoke.

  “I don’t even know if Esther made it out,” Darlene suddenly murmured.

  “But you’re safe.” Pierce put his arm around her shoulder and pulledher close. “I was so afraid I’d lose you.”

  Darlene looked up at him. The landau lantern swung lightly in the breeze, making a play of sending out shadowy light to fall back and forth across their faces. “My father is dead.” She said it as though Pierce could possibly have forgotten.

  “I know,” he answered. “I’m so very sorry, Darlene.” He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her very tightly.

  Crowds of people were lining the streets and as some went running to help with the fire, others were struggling to carry possessions to safety.

  “The fire’s comin’ this-a-way!” a man yelled out and encouraged people to flee.

  “Nothing will be left,” Darlene said softly. She lay her face against the coarse wool of Pierce’s coat. “I have nothing now.”

  “You have me,” he whispered. “You’ve always had me.”

  Chapter 17

  Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest,

  and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.

  Ephesians 5:14

  Darlene’s first waking moment was filled with panic. She had no idea where she was and the thought filled her with a consuming urgency. Sitting up abruptly, she looked around the room and found nothing that she could recognize. Early dawn light filtered through the gossamer-like curtains and gave the room only a hint of the day to come.

  Flowered wallpaper lined the walls and a very soft mauve carpet touched her feet when Darlene got off the bed. She hurried to the window and was greeted with the stark reality of a cold winter’s day. The neighborhood, an avenue lined with leafless trees and shrubs, was elegant even in this setting. Black wrought-iron fencing hemmed in the yard, and beyond this Darlene could make out the brick street.

  Then the memories of the night before flooded back into her mind. The fire. Her father’s death. Pierce. She sank to her knees on the carpeted floor and wept. Everything was gone. All lost in the fire. Her father had died, succumbing to consumption, and now she was truly alone. She wrapped her arms around her and felt the soft folds of the nightgown. It isn’t even my gown, she thought. The only thing left to her in the world were the clothes she’d worn out of the fire. And Pierce.

  The last came as a tiny ember of thought. Pierce had said that she would always have him. But even that seemed lost and unlikely. How could he ever take her to be his wife? Especially now that she had nothing to offer him in the way of a dowry. The shop had burned to the ground, no doubt, and with it went every possible material article she could ever have offered a husband.

  She cried even harder at this loss. Burying her face in her hands, she pulled her knees to her chest and thought of what she was going to do. It was all too much. She would have to bury her father, but even the idea of this caused her more misery than she could deal with. Who would perform the service? Her father was a Christian and would require a Christian burial, but she had no idea what that entailed. Who would prepare the body? The hevra qaddish, Jewish men from her community, would have normally prepared her father for burial and Kaddish would have been recited. Would anyone recite Kaddish over Abraham now? Would he have wanted them to? She was so confused.

  Drying her eyes against the lacy edge of her sleeve, Darlene tried to remember if her father had ever made mention of such things.

  Just then a light knock sounded upon the bedroom door. Getting to her feet, Darlene scrambled into the bed and pulled the covers high. “Come in,” she called out and was surprised when Dennison Blackwell appeared.

  “Are you up for a visitor?” he questioned.

  She nodded, not really feeling like company, but knowing that this man had been her father’s best friend in the world seemed to be reason enough to endure his visit.

  He was dressed in a simple shirt and trousers. On his feet were slippers and a warm robe was tied loosely over his clothes to ward off the morning chill. “Forgive me for such an early visit, but I heard you crying and I felt compelled to come to offer you whatever comfort I could.”

  Darlene felt tears anew come to her eyes. “I tried very hard to be quiet,” she said, snuffing back the tears.

  “My dear, there is no need for that. Should you desire to cry down the very walls around you, you would be perfectly in your rights.” He brought the vanity chair to her bedside and sat down wearily. “I am so very sorry about your father. He was my dearest friend and I will always feel the loss of his passing.”

  “He held you in very high regard,” she replied, feeling the need to comfort him.

  “And you?” Dennison said. “Are you going to be all right? Did you suffer any injuries during the fire?”

  “I’m well,” she said, feeling it was almost a lie. “I’m devastated by Tateh’s death, but the fire did not harm me.” Other than to take everything I hold dear, she thought silently.

  “I thank God for that. When Pierce left here last night, all I could do was drop to my knees and pray. I feared for his safety, for yours and your father’s, and I grieved for those I knew would be destroyed by the fire.”

  “I was so shocked when Pierce showed up that I could scarce
ly comprehend that he was really there. The smoke made my mind confused and incapable of clear thought and there was no way I could have carried Tateh to safety.” She paused here, wiping away an escaping tear. “I couldn’t let him be burned up in the flames. I knew he was already dead and I knew that he would be in Heaven with God.” Dennison eyed her strangely for a moment, but she hurried on before he could speak. “I even knew that I would see him again, because he told me we would all be joined together in Heaven. But the pain of losing him and then the idea of leaving him to the fire, was just too much. I hope you don’t think me terribly addle-brained.”

  “Not at all,” Dennison murmured. His mind was clearly absorbed and this concerned Darlene.

  “I don’t know how to ask you this,” she struggled for words. “I mean. . .well you see. . .”

  “What is it, child?” he said, suddenly appearing not at all preoccupied. He reached out to pat her reassuringly. “You have only to name your request.”

  “It’s my father’s burial. You see, I have no idea what should take place, and I have no money. Everything was lost in the fire.”

  Dennison smiled. “You have nothing to worry about. I will see to everything and I insist on paying for the funeral myself. This will be one thing I can do in Abraham’s memory and honor. I will see to it all.” He paused, his face sobering. “But tell me, my dear, will you be grieved by the Christian service? Should I also plan for some type of service in your Jewish faith?”

  Darlene shook her head. “I’m no longer of that faith. At least not like I was. Tateh said that Jesus is the fulfillment of our Jewish faith, but I’m still very new at this.”

  “Are you saying that you’ve accepted Jesus as your Savior?”

  “Yes. Last night, before Tateh died. We talked and I felt such a peace. I know my friends would say that losing Tateh and everything I had on earth is my just punishment for forsaking the faith of my fathers, but I don’t believe that. I don’t know why, but I still have a peace inside that the fire didn’t consume. Does that make sense?”

  Dennison’s face seemed filled with light. “It makes wonderful sense. I’m so very pleased to hear about your acceptance of Christ. Oh, Darlene, how happy your father must have been. He could die in blessed assurance of seeing you again in Heaven. It must have given him a great deal of peace.”

  “Yes, I believe it gave him the peace to die. At first, I was angry andvery sad, but I lay here thinking last night that Tateh wouldn’t want me to grieve. He would want me to trust God and not be angry that God took him from me.”

  “That’s very wise coming from one so young.”

  Darlene swallowed hard and tried to smile. “I can’t repay you for what you’ve done. At least, not yet. I don’t know where I’ll go or what I’ll do. My Jewish friends will have nothing to do with me now that they know I believe in Jesus as Messiah.”

  “You’ve told them already?”

  “I told Esther last night and that’s as good as telling them all.” This did make her smile and Dennison couldn’t help but grin in a way that reminded her of Pierce. “They’ll believe me to be a traitor and so I’ll be an outcast.”

  “It won’t be easy to face such a thing.”

  “Oh, I don’t think I’ll go back,” Darlene said in a thoughtful way. “I don’t know what I’ll do just yet, but the old neighborhood is behind me now. I’m sure there’s very little left after the fire, anyway.”

  “Well, that much is true. They’re still trying to put out the flames. I’m afraid it burned all the way up to Wall Street and consumed most everything in its path.”

  Darlene nodded. “Somehow, I thought it would be that way.” She squared her shoulders. “But God will provide, right?”

  “Of course!” Dennison said and patted her hand again. “He already has. You are welcome to stay here for as long as you like. We’ve plenty of room and I know Pierce will be very happy to have your company here.”

  Darlene felt her cheeks grow warm. “I’m very thankful he came to us last night.”

  “As am I. Does he know about your new faith?”

  Darlene shook her head. “No. There was no time to speak of such things and all I could really think about was Tateh being dead.”

  “He’s going to be delighted,” Dennison said with a huge smile. “I think it will be an answer to his many prayers concerning you.”

  “Concerning me?”

  “You sound surprised. Surely you know he has deep feelings for you.”

  Her face grew even hotter. How could she explain that Pierce’s feelings couldn’t possibly be as strong as her own? Then, too, how could she speak to this man, his father, of the love she felt for his son? The Blackwells were rich and quite esteemed in society; surely Dennison Blackwell would not want to hear of her love.

  “I see I’ve embarrassed you. Not to worry, I won’t say another word. But you should tell Pierce of your acceptance of Jesus at the first possible moment. It will probably answer a great many questions for you.” With these mystic words he rose to his feet. “I will leave you to rest. You are not to get up from that bed for at least two days. Doctor’s orders.”

  “What doctor?” Darlene questioned in confusion.

  Dennison shrugged. “Doctor Blackwell,” he said with a laugh. “A poor excuse for a physician if ever there was one, but nevertheless, I insist. I may not be a doctor, but I know that you’ve endured far too much for your own good. Two days of bed rest and pampering and you’ll feel like a new person.”

  “Mr. Blackwell?”

  “Yes?”

  “Thank you for being so kind. You and Pierce have both been so generous. I know that my father came to an understanding of Jesus through you.”

  “You are most welcome, my dear.”

  “Would you extend my thanks to Pierce? Tell him that his prayers were answered.”

  Dennison looked confused. “You want me to tell him that you have found Jesus for yourself? Don’t you want to wait and tell him yourself?”

  “I think he will take great peace of mind from it and since he’s partially responsible, I think he should know as soon as possible. Do you mind?” she asked, suddenly concerned that she’d expected too much.

  “Not at all,” he said in a fatherly way that implied great pride. “It shall be my honor.”

  He left her with that, and Darlene relaxed back against the pillows. Her heart felt much lighter for the sharing of her concerns. Mr. Blackwell said that she could remain in his home for as long as she liked. This gave her great comfort, and that he would tell Pierce that Darlene was now a Christian. She yawned and snuggled down into the warmth of the bed. She tried to imagine Pierce’s reaction, but before she could consider anything else, her eyelids grew very heavy and finally closed in sleep.

  

  Several hours later, Darlene awoke to the sound of someone puttering around her room. Groggily opening her eyes and forcing herself to sit up, she found a young woman in a starched white apron and high-collared black work dress standing at the foot of her bed.

  “Good morning, ma’am. I’m Bridgett. I’ve brought your breakfast. Mr. Blackwell said to remind you that you’re not to set foot out of the bed, except for the hot bath I’m to draw for you after you eat.”

  A hot bath? Darlene thought. But Tateh had only died the night before! Did these goyim have no sense of propriety? How could she indulge in such comforts during the mourning period? Then it suddenly hit her. Perhaps bathing in such circumstances was a Christian tradition. Oy vey! but there was so much to learn.

  Darlene smiled weakly. Bridgett’s immaculately ordered red hair caused her to smooth back her own tangled curls. “I’m a frightful mess,” shedeclared.

  Bridgett made no comment, but instead brought Darlene breakfast on a lovely white wicker bed tray. Poached eggs, toast and jam, and three strips of bacon were neatly arranged on a delicately patterned china plate. Beside this was an ornate set of silverware, a linen napkin, and a steaming cup of tea.
/>   “Thank you,” she said, but the girl only bobbed a curtsey and took herself off through a side door.

  Darlene looked at the breakfast and almost laughed out loud at the bacon. Oy vey! but what would Esther say? She wondered how it was with Christians and how she would ever learn the right and wrong thing to do. Were there things that Christians didn’t eat? Studying the plate a moment longer, Darlene decided against the bacon.

  The toast and jam were safe enough and it was this that she immediately began to eat on. Gone was the headache of the night before and the only reminder was the heavy smell of smoke on her body and in her hair.

  When the maid returned, Darlene had finished her tea and toast and set the tray aside.

  “The bath is in here, ma’am.”

  Darlene stared after Bridgett and finally followed her. She found herself in a charmingly arranged room. A huge tub of steaming water awaited her and beside it was a tray with a variety of bath salts and scented soaps. On the other side stood a lovely vanity with so many lotions and powders that Darlene couldn’t imagine ever using them all.

  “I’ll take your gown, ma’am,” Bridgett said, obviously waiting for Darlene to disrobe.

  Feeling rather self-conscious, both because of the stranger and the finery around her, Darlene hesitated. Thinking of the mikveh, the ritual bath used by Jewish women for cleansing before marriage, and after childbirth or menstruation, Darlene no longer felt shy. The mikveh required that her body be inspected before immersion and therefore it was far more personal. Bridgett merely wanted to take the gown away and leave her to privacy of her bath.

  “Do your people bathe during times of mourning?” Darlene askedhesitantly.

  Bridgett’s expression contorted. “My people?”

  Darlene twisted her hands anxiously and rephrased her question. “Do Christians take baths. . .well, that is to say. . .is it all right to take a bath after a loved one has died?”