Consequences of Passion--A sensual pregnancy romance

by Yahrah St. John

  Shantel didn’t know how long she sat there looking out over the farm’s beautiful landscape, but eventually he returned carrying a teacup and saucer. “For you, baby girl,” her father said. “Chamomile and honey.”

  “Thanks, Daddy.”

  “You know, I haven’t see you cry like that, well, since the day I told you about your mother,” he said, glancing in her direction. “After that, you clammed up and never really spoke about your feelings other than you wanted to be a psychiatrist to help other people with mental illness.”

  “I couldn’t, Daddy.” When he peered at her strangely, she continued. “Cry, that is. It wasn’t going to change anything. It wasn’t going to bring her back. I felt like I failed Mama. I didn’t see the signs of how unhappy she was. So unhappy she took her own life with no thought to those she would leave behind, her children who needed her desperately.”

  “I’m so sorry, Shantel. I had no idea you were harboring guilt over your mother’s suicide. You must know it wasn’t your fault.”

  Shantel shook her head. “I should have done more.”

  “You were eighteen and had gone off to college. What more could you do?”

  “I don’t know. Something.” Her voice rose. “Anything to prevent her from taking her own life.”

  “She was sick, Shantel. You know this. You’ve studied this. Sometimes even with the best therapy you can’t stop someone if they’re determined to die.”

  “But we needed her,” Shantel cried, tears once again sliding down her cheeks. “I still need her.”

  “Oh, Shantel.” He pulled her into the comfort and safety of his arms. “You should have told me you had these feelings long ago. We could have worked through them.”

  “I’ve tried, Daddy. I went to therapy. I know the drill. But some wounds never really heal.”

  “I hope you know I did all I could for your mother,” he said when she settled down again in the rocker. “She was in therapy and on meds. But she had a troubled past when we met and I thought I could save her. Take her away from the past hurts. I brought her here, but it didn’t work. She was fundamentally unhappy and it seemed the more children we had, the worse she became. She was overwhelmed taking care of you all. Often I had to step in and take care of you kids.”

  Shantel frowned. “I had no idea things were so bad.”

  “Because I wanted to preserve your mother’s image in your eyes. I made sure you only saw her when she was at her best, but it wasn’t easy keeping up the pretense. Sometimes I thought about putting her away in an institution somewhere, but I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t take away her freedom. So instead, she lived her years out here with me on the farm and I did my best. I know it wasn’t perfect, but I tried. I’m sorry I failed you.”

  “Oh, Daddy, no!” Shantel reached for his hands. “It’s not your fault. It’s not mine either. And I think I’m finally starting to see that.”

  “I’m so glad, Buttercup. Because you and your brothers mean the world to me and I only want you to be happy.”

  “I want to be happy too.”

  “So, will you tell me what’s happened between you and Roman?”

  Shantel shook her head. Their falling out was between them and she didn’t want to color her father’s image of Roman in his mind. Even now, she was protecting him when he couldn’t care less about her. “No, not really. Give me time to sort through this, if that’s okay?”

  “Absolutely.” Her father patted her knee. “I’m here when you need me. And if it’s all the same to you, I’m going to check on Lady. I didn’t like the noise she made earlier.”

  Shantel smiled. “Thanks, Daddy, for looking after Lady and for always looking after me.”

  Twenty-One

  Roman was heading to his car in the executive parking lot on his way to find Shantel when he ran into Josiah. His father’s driver was pulling the Bentley up to the curb as Roman was exiting.

  “Going somewhere?” Josiah asked.

  “Yeah, I am.” Roman didn’t elaborate and continued to his car. He hadn’t spoken to his old man since the night of the party. He’d been livid with him for how he’d spoken about Shantel when she’d been nothing but gracious.

  “Wait!” Josiah demanded. “You’re leaving? Just like that? You’re not going to gloat about signing Curtis?”

  “Why would I?” Roman asked, cocking his head to one side. “I told you I would sign him and I did. With Shantel’s help.”

  “Oh, I get it, you’re upset about what I said about your fiancée,” his father replied.

  “What the hell do you think?” Roman responded. He tried to calm himself because he was talking to his father, the man he loved and had once wanted to emulate. But not now. He never wanted to be so money-and power-hungry that he lost human decency like his dad.

  “Listen, I know I may have come across a little harsh on Saturday, but I was trying to light a fire under you and it worked. You sealed the deal.”

  “No thanks to you,” Roman said. “As I told you that night and I’ll tell you again, I’m done with kowtowing to you. I’ve done everything you’ve ever asked of me and then some and still you continue to push.”

  “Because you have that same fire in your belly like I do,” Josiah said. “That same killer instinct. I’ve always known and I’ve helped you hone it so when you take over, no one can touch you.”

  “Well, someone has touched me, Dad,” Roman responded. “Shantel has touched me in ways I’ve never imagined, and I may have lost her because I failed to stand up to you. Failed to tell you what a beautiful, amazing, smart and caring lady she is. Because I didn’t fight for her. But I’m going to do that now, which is why I’m stepping down as COO.”

  “No!” his father shouted. “You can’t do that. You’re my heir. You’re the next in line. I’ve been grooming you for years.”

  “But you don’t respect me.”

  “Oh, but I do,” his father said, walking toward him and clasping Roman’s shoulder. “Of all my sons, you’ve had the most potential in business. Julian has his medicine and Xavier, up until two years ago, had his football. But you, you have always been the apple of my eye. My son!”

  “This is all a little too late, Dad,” Roman said, wrenching himself out of his father’s grasp. “I needed to have heard all this a long time ago. And it’s too late. I have to go and find Shantel. Make this right somehow. Make her see that she means more to me than anything.” He turned and walked to the driver’s side of his Maserati Levante.

  “More than the Atlanta Cougars?”

  Roman glanced across the top of the car. “Yes.”

  His father sighed. “You must love her a great deal if you’re willing to give up your birthright.”

  “I do,” Roman responded. “And I’m going to get her back.” Which was why he was willing to leave it all in his rearview for the love of one woman. His woman.

  *

  “I don’t know, Charlene, my cake looks nothing like yours,” Shantel said, gazing at her lopsided German chocolate cake sitting on the counter that evening at the Wilson family home.

  Her sister-in-law had come over because Shantel was craving one of her chocolate cakes. When she arrived, Charlene had all the makings for several cakes along with her nephew in a baby carrier. Shantel had always wanted to learn how to bake so she’d insisted on trying, but her cake was an epic failure while Charlene’s was perfectly round and symmetrical.

  “You’ll get it,” Charlene said. “Sometimes baking isn’t for everyone. You’re a fabulous cook, while I burn everything I touch. It’s why your brother cooks all the time. So don’t sweat the small stuff. Roman isn’t marrying you for your baking.”

  “Speaking of Roman…” Shantel went to the carrier and pulled her nephew out. She inhaled deeply. Christopher smelled of baby powder and she loved his big fat cheeks. “We’re sort of on a break for a moment.”

  “Break?” Charlene repeated. “What do you mean? Your wedding is in a few days. I should have k
nown something was up when you arrived less than a week before your wedding, claiming you wanted some family time. I thought maybe you had cold feet.”

  “It’s more than cold feet,” Shantel said. “I don’t know if Roman is the man I thought he was.”

  “Why would you say that?”

  “His values are wrong,” she replied. “He’s all about money and power and prestige. I couldn’t care less about those things. I want to be happy. Have a healthy baby. A loving husband. Is that too much to ask?”

  “It isn’t,” a deep male voice said from behind her.

  Shantel swallowed hard, her heart pounding fast in her chest when she heard Roman’s voice. He was in her safe haven. She turned to face him.

  “I want you to be happy too,” Roman said, “and I think you can be, with me and our baby.”

  “Well, that’s my cue to leave.” Charlene came to Shantel and pulled her nephew out of her arms. “I hope to see you both—” she glanced in Roman’s direction “—at the wedding.” She bundled the baby into the carrier and within seconds she was out the door, leaving Shantel and Roman alone in the kitchen.

  “What are you doing here?” Shantel asked.

  “Isn’t it obvious? I’m here to win you back. I went to your office, your house, but you weren’t there. I came to tell you I was a complete idiot for valuing all those things you mentioned above you. Above us.”

  Shantel turned away. “There is no us, Roman. You saw to that on Saturday night.”

  She heard his footsteps and then he was spinning her around. “I know I made a mistake. A big one, Shantel, but I’m asking you for another chance.”

  “So, what? You can weave a magic spell around me so I walk down the aisle?” Shantel asked. “Come on. I have more self-respect than that.” She had already become a cliché, falling for someone who was never going to love her back. Now it was up to Shantel to hold her head up high and get on with her life.

  “I’m asking you to listen. Not just with your head, but with your heart,” Roman implored. “Please.”

  “All right.” Shantel would hear him out but only this once. She led him into her father’s study so they would have no interruptions. “Say what you have to say and then leave me in peace.”

  “I’m sorry to tell you, sweetheart, but that isn’t going to happen.”

  Shantel was afraid she’d weaken, because hadn’t he always had that effect on her? From the moment they’d met, she hadn’t been able to see anyone else but him. And Shantel feared she never would.

  *

  The drive to McDonough from Atlanta had been snarled and riddled with traffic, and Roman’s nerves had become more and more frayed as an unfamiliar thought nagged at him. What if Shantel won’t forgive me? She had every right to be upset with him, but he’d come here with his hat in his hand, asking for another chance, and he wasn’t leaving until she heard him out.

  “Are we back to that Roman?” Shantel shot back. “The one who demands and orders me around? Because if so, you can get in your Maserati and drive back to Atlanta.”

  She was right. Being hard-nosed wasn’t going to get him on her good side. He had to make her realize why he’d come here.

  “Well?” She looked at him, then pointedly glanced down at her watch. “I don’t have all night.”

  Roman sucked in a deep breath and realized he was nervous. It wasn’t going to be easy—he would have to do something he’d never done before. Something he’d shied away from his whole life. He was going to have to spill his guts even though there was no guarantee Shantel would accept him or what he had to say. It might be too late.

  He looked into her wary eyes and his heart thudded. “First, I want to say how much I’ve missed you these last few days. It’s been agony without you.”

  “And second?”

  “I need to ask for your forgiveness. I should have stood up to my father when he said all those horrible things about you, but instead I acted like the scared little boy I’ve always been around Josiah. I didn’t defend you. I didn’t stand up to him and tell him how strong, kind, caring, thoughtful, beautiful and extremely passionate you are.” At her blush, he continued, “I love you, Shantel. No one has ever made me feel the way you do. I feel complete, as if I’ve found the missing piece I never knew I needed. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and our baby.”

  Shantel took a step back. “You’re only saying these things because you know it’s what I want to hear. You don’t really want me. You want the baby.” She patted her stomach. “And you’re being cruel by saying these things. Why can’t you just let me go?”

  He shook his head. “That’s not true. I want you, Shantel. And only you. You’re smart and funny and sassy and I love every part of you.”

  *

  Shantel felt a lump forming in her throat and she blinked her eyes rapidly to keep from tearing up. “I don’t know if I can believe you, Roman.”

  “But you want to,” he said. “I can see it in your eyes because it’s in your nature to believe the best of people, to forgive. And I don’t know what happened to your mom, but I’m here to tell you that you are worthy of love. I love you and I want to be with you. I’ll never leave you, Shantel.”

  “I’m scared.” Hot tears sprang to her eyes, and this time Shantel couldn’t seem to stop them from falling. “Really scared that this is all a dream and I’m going to wake up any minute.”

  “Sweetheart.” Roman came toward her and eased her into his arms. “It’s not a dream. It’s real. I love you. And to prove it, I told my father I’m giving it all up. I don’t need or want to run the Atlanta Cougars if I’m going to wind up like him, hung up on money and power.”

  “Oh, Roman.” Shantel reached out and caressed his cheek. “You don’t have to give up everything to prove you love me.”

  He halted her protest by placing his finger on her lips. “But I will, because that’s how much you mean to me. Besides, I have my own money. I don’t need to run the franchise.”

  “But you want to.”

  “I won’t lie. I’ve worked my entire life towards that goal, but there’s no life for me without you in it. With you by my side, I can conquer the world. And speaking of that, I signed Curtis.”

  “You did!” She threw her arms around Roman, so full of joy for him. “That’s wonderful. But it’s also why you can’t leave. You gave Tim your word that you would take care of his son.”

  “But I have to take care of you and our baby first.” He placed his palm over the small swell of her stomach.

  “I love you, Roman, but you don’t have to choose one or the other. You can have us both.”

  “I can?” He sounded incredulous.

  She nodded through her tears. “Yes, because that’s what you do for someone you love. You make sacrifices. And Roman, I love you with all my heart. I think I have since I saw you standing across from me in the ballroom that night at the Bachelor Auction. And I’ve been scared too, scared of being left alone. My mother’s suicide messed with my head, made me think I was unlovable, and Bobby leaving after her death cemented that notion.”

  “Shantel, why have you never told me this before?”

  She shrugged. “It’s been too difficult to talk about these things. It was only recently that my Dad and I talked, really talked about my mother and her mental illness. He helped me see it wasn’t my fault.”

  “Of course it wasn’t.” Roman stroked her cheek. “She was sick, but you weren’t to blame. Is this why you clammed up when I suggested having more children?”

  Shantel nodded. “I was afraid. What if it’s genetic?”

  “You can’t think the worst, sweetheart. And no matter what happens, I love you. If you don’t want any more children, this one—” he rubbed her belly “—will be our only child.”

  “No.” Shantel shook her head. “I love you, Roman, and I want a whole brood of your babies.”

  “You do?”

  Tears slid down her cheeks because he sounded so unsure.
“Oh, yes, you woke me out of the fog. I’ve barely been living, Roman, but that night you sparked me to life, and I never want that light to go out.”

  *

  “It was the same for me,” Roman said, wiping away her tears. “Seeing you at the art gallery was like a thunderbolt to my system. I’d tried to forget you, but I couldn’t. I’m so thankful fate brought you back into my life and gave me a do-over. And I don’t want to waste a single minute of our second chance. So, Shantel.” He dropped to his knees in front of her. “Will you marry me?”

  Shantel laughed through her tears. “Get up, silly. We’re already engaged.”

  “Yeah, we are.” He took a shuddering breath. “But the first time I didn’t do it right. This time, I’m kneeling before you, telling you that you’re my heart’s desire and I want you to be mine and I want to be yours for the rest of our lives. So if you’ll have me, Shantel, I’d like for you to be my wife.”

  Her eyes were so rich and full of emotion, Roman could scarcely breathe as he waited for her response.

  “Yes. Yes!” She wound her arms around his neck, pulled him to his feet and kissed him. Her kiss was tender and brought with it a lightness and brightness Roman hadn’t known was missing from his life.

  He returned the kiss, murmuring sweet words to her as she pressed herself against him. He swept her up, carrying her upstairs to her former bedroom, where he lay down beside her, cradling her, kissing her until eventually their kisses grew passionate and they made sweet love.

  Shantel was everything he’d ever wanted. She was the woman he loved. And now she would always be his. Now and forever.

  Epilogue

  “As much as I loved seeing you walk down the aisle to me,” Roman said, a week later at the Pristine Chapel in Jonesboro about twenty-five miles outside Atlanta, “I’m happy the wedding is over.”

  He and Shantel had married as planned, earlier that day inside a black gazebo on the water, surrounded by manicured lawns and lush trees. The Pristine Chapel offered them a large event space to hold all their hundred plus guests. The wedding planner had outdone herself with the decor and bountiful floral arrangements. All of the Locketts were there, including his father, who’d apologized to Shantel the minute she returned to Atlanta. He’d had to, otherwise Roman would have never forgiven him. But in the end, Roman had forgiven his father because his heart held too much love for Shantel not to make peace with his family. But the Wilsons’ contingent made up most of the guest list.