The Marriage Risk

by Debbie Macomber

  “You think that’s bad,” Ben said, smiling ironically. “Abbey’s got every woman in town rolling these tiny scrolls and tying them with satin ribbons. Darned if I know what she intends to do with them.”

  Charles merely nodded. “I have no idea,” he muttered.

  “Thank goodness you’re levelheaded enough not to be gettin’ married.”

  Charles’s eyes avoided Ben’s. He cleared his throat and glanced over his shoulder to be sure they were alone. “Actually that’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

  Ben straightened. “Don’t tell me you’re next? You’ve gone and fallen in love with Lanni, haven’t you?”

  “No!” Charles snapped. “Of course not.” But then, what did he know? If Sawyer’s state of mind was any indication, then Charles would have to compare love with a bad case of the flu.

  “You’re protesting just a bit too loud for me to believe you,” Ben said. He walked around the counter and slid onto the stool next to Charles’s.

  Charles didn’t argue. He wished he could find a way to explain away what was happening between him and Lanni. “Have you ever met a woman and known right from that precise moment that—I don’t know how to describe it.”

  “Like someone kicked you in the gut?”

  “Yes,” Charles said, grasping at his friend’s definition. It was the best way he’d come across to describe how he’d felt the night he’d passed Lanni walking with Duke Porter. It didn’t matter that she was with another man. It didn’t matter that he and Lanni hadn’t said more than a handful of words to each other. It felt as if God had sent a fist straight through the bright cloudless sky. A fist that connected—hard—and practically knocked him off his feet.

  “It happened to me once,” Ben said hoarsely, cradling his mug with both hands. He stared into the distance, frowning.

  “You know what I’m talking about, then?” Charles prodded.

  “I think so,” Ben muttered. “But it was a long time ago. Longer than I care to admit.” He shrugged, then took a sip of his coffee. “I was a kid, still wet behind the ears. I’d had a little college and kicked around for a while. Then I enlisted and when I finished boot camp, I was in San Francisco waiting for my orders to go to Vietnam.

  “I met Marilyn at Golden Gate Park. She had long blond hair and was so damned pretty I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She was going into her sophomore year in college. We had six weeks together.”

  “You mean before you were shipped out?” Charles asked.

  “Yeah. She didn’t want me to go, like I had a choice about it. Marilyn was against the war. But what college kid wasn’t? She seemed to believe that if I really loved her, I’d stay with her. We argued about it. I said some things I regretted later. I’d like to think she regretted what she said to me, too, but I have no way of knowing.”

  “What happened after you left?”

  “Nothing. She was the one in the wrong, I figured. It made me mad she’d been so narrow-minded. What about honor and duty? Apparently they meant nothing to her. What kind of man did she think I was, asking me to turn my back on a commitment I made to my country? The way I saw it, we had nothing in common.”

  “So you broke it off?”

  “Yeah,” Ben answered, but he didn’t sound happy about it. “She wrote me a couple times early on, but I never even opened the letters. Just sent them back.”

  “What about after the war? Did you see her?” If Ben still had strong feelings for her this many years later, surely he’d made some effort to patch things up.

  “I was ready to swallow my pride the next year. When I was stateside again, I phoned her. That was when I learned she’d gotten married. According to her mother, she didn’t let any grass grow under her feet, either. Four months after I left, she was engaged. I don’t mind telling you, it was a shock. We might’ve had only six weeks together, but they were the best weeks of my life. I loved her then, and even now I’ve got a soft spot in my heart for her.”

  Charles didn’t know what to say. It seemed to him that Marilyn must not have loved Ben the way he loved her, otherwise she wouldn’t have married someone else.

  “You know, I really loved her,” Ben was saying. “Thinking about Marilyn was what got me through the craziness in ’Nam. I’ve got plenty of regrets in this life, but the biggest one is what happened between me and her. I was a fool.”

  Charles had a few regrets of his own.

  “We were both too young, too idealistic in our different ways,” Ben continued. “I’ve paid for that.”

  Once more Charles felt at a loss. He was surprised and saddened by Ben’s story. Although he considered Ben a good friend, the older man rarely spoke of his past.

  “Are you offering me any advice?” Charles asked.

  Ben pondered a moment. “For one thing you gotta trust your feelings.”

  “My feelings?” He hardly knew what his feelings were. As for trusting them…

  “Yeah. You’ve met Lanni, and you like her and she likes you. That’s great. It doesn’t mean you have to leap off the nearest bridge—or into marriage.”

  Charles thought about Sawyer. Less than a month after meeting Abbey, his brother was taking on a wife and two children. If that didn’t constitute a major life change, Charles didn’t know what did.

  “Tell you the truth, I’m surprised at you,” Ben said candidly.

  “You mean because I made such a fuss about Sawyer and Christian bringing women to Hard Luck?”

  “No.” Ben’s voice was thoughtful. “Until now, I’d always kind of figured the two of us were alike. Cast from the same mold, two peas in a pod, that sort of thing.”

  “How’s that?”

  “You’re pretty stubborn.”

  “True.” Charles couldn’t deny it.

  “And a bit of a loner.”

  Charles nodded.

  “I guess what I’m trying to say is, I never expected a woman to affect you like this.”

  “I don’t know what you mean,” Charles insisted. All he was doing was trying to sort out his thoughts—and emotions.

  Ben swallowed the rest of his coffee and slid off the stool. “You asked for my advice, so I’ll give it to you. Quit analyzing your feelings to death. Like I said, you gotta trust ’em. No need to make any decisions right now. Nothing has to change this minute. Just enjoy being with her.”

  “I do,” Charles mumbled. Too much. That was part of his problem. Soon he’d be back in the field, doing what he loved best. Surveying. He’d always thought of those months alone as necessary. It had always seemed to him that was when his soul caught up with his body. But for the first time, he wasn’t looking forward to the solitude he normally craved. He wanted Lanni with him.

  Worst of all, when he left for the field, Lanni would be here in Hard Luck with a bunch of love-starved bush pilots eager for her attention. Eager to have him out of the picture. And before long, Bill Landgrin and his pipeline crew would be making excuses to visit town.

  Charles gritted his teeth. He didn’t want Lanni with any other man. He wanted her with him.

  * * *

  “Abbey!” Sawyer burst into the library. “I forgot the mints.” He announced this as if the world were about to end.

  Abbey looked up from the stack of books she was replacing on the shelves and blinked. “The mints?”

  “You asked me to have John pick them up this afternoon, but I forgot.”

  “Oh, the mints. Don’t worry about it. You had more than enough on your mind. Just remember to have someone pick up my parents in Fairbanks tomorrow afternoon.”

  “Tomorrow,” he repeated. “I have the time on my schedule at the office. Right?”

  “Right.” Abbey had given Sawyer the information a week earlier. “What about your mother and Robert?” Robert was Sawyer’s stepfather.

  “She’s coming with Christian the morning of the wedding. Oh, I forgot to tell you. Robert won’t be with her. With his broken leg, he’s finding it too hard to travel
. He phoned his regrets.”

  “I’ll meet him later, I guess,” Abbey said.

  Sawyer slowly lowered himself into a chair. The panicked expression on his face said that keeping track of everyone’s comings and goings had become more than he could manage. “I’ve never looked forward to getting something over with this much.”

  Abbey shrugged. “You’re the one who insisted on putting together a wedding in two weeks’ time!”

  “Don’t remind me. I have no one to blame but myself.”

  Abbey was about to put an encyclopedia back on the shelf when Sawyer reached out and grabbed her around the waist.

  She let out a small cry of surprise as he pulled her onto his lap. His arms brought her close.

  “Why didn’t you just suggest we elope and be done with it?” he chided. “I’ve never gone through this before, and like a fool, I thought organizing a wedding was no big deal. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m a wreck.”

  “I’ve noticed,” she said seriously, resting her hands on his shoulders, “but I agreed with you that a formal wedding was a good idea.” She paused. “For me, for my children and parents, it’s a symbol of our love. Our marriage. It also marks the beginning of our new life. I happen to think symbols and ceremonies are important.” She dropped a kiss on his forehead. “I love you all the more for insisting on it.”

  “I swear I’m going crazy.”

  “It’ll all be over in two days,” she told him.

  “I wish it was over now.”

  “Patience, my love.”

  He stroked her cheek with his callused palm. “I had no idea waiting to make love to you would be this difficult,” he said in a husky murmur.

  The gentleness of his touch and the agony in his words pierced Abbey’s heart. She closed her eyes and buried her face in his shoulder. It was at her request that they’d decided to wait until their wedding night. And it moved her deeply that Sawyer had agreed. Emotion filled her chest, making it difficult to breathe.

  “I love you, Sawyer O’Halloran,” she said after a moment.

  “Good thing you do, because I’d hate to think I was putting on a cummerbund for nothing.”

  Abbey giggled and kissed him with a thoroughness that left them both dizzy.

  “I have a feeling,” Sawyer said, pausing to clear his throat, “that you’re going to be worth the wait.”

  * * *

  The new secretary still hadn’t arrived, so Lanni volunteered to answer the phones for Sawyer when Abbey’s parents got in early Friday afternoon. Sawyer introduced her to Wayne and Marie Murray, and Lanni liked the middle-aged couple immediately.

  “Entertain your guests,” she urged Sawyer, “and don’t worry about anything here. I can take care of the phones.”

  “You’re sure you don’t mind?” He looked apprehensive, as if he might be imposing. “You’ve been helping out almost every day this week.”

  “I’m positive. In fact I appreciate the break. I spent the morning cleaning out my grandmother’s place, and it’s tedious work.”

  Sawyer hesitated, glancing over his shoulder to check that he wasn’t keeping his future in-laws waiting. Scott and Susan were busy introducing them around.

  “Speaking of your grandmother,” he began, “I don’t suppose you’ve mentioned her to Charles yet, have you?”

  “No.” The answer was clipped. She avoided his gaze.

  “I just wondered…”

  “I thought you might have told him.”

  “No, I figured you’d want to do it.”

  She hadn’t told Charles because she was afraid of what would happen once he learned she was related to Catherine Fletcher. And the longer she avoided the issue, the more difficult it was to tell him. She almost wished Sawyer had said something.

  “You’ll tell him?” Sawyer asked.

  She nodded.

  “When?”

  “Soon,” she promised. After the wedding, when life in Hard Luck had returned to normal. She hadn’t purposely deceived him. Not any more than Sawyer had, or anyone else who knew her reason for being in Hard Luck.

  “Good,” the groom-to-be said decisively, then disappeared out the door.

  Sawyer’s desk was in a state of chaos. She was doing her best to straighten his papers, schedules and messages when the office door opened and Charles stepped inside. He stopped abruptly the instant he saw her.

  Lanni stood up, her heartbeat thundering in her ears.

  Their eyes met.

  “Hello again,” she said breathlessly. She sensed that Charles was uncomfortable with the strength of their attraction. She also knew he was fighting this feeling. She recognized that because she was fighting it herself.

  “Hi,” he said a little awkwardly. “Uh, where’s Sawyer?”

  “He’s out of the office for a while,” she said. “Abbey’s parents just arrived.”

  “That’s right—I’d forgotten.” But he still didn’t leave. “I came to ask about the wedding rehearsal this evening.”

  Lanni turned to Sawyer’s appointment calendar, which lay on the corner of his desk. “Says here it’s supposed to start at seven.”

  “I know that much. I was just wondering how formally I’m supposed to dress for this.”

  “Nothing fancy. What you have on now is fine.”

  “Great.” Charles moved farther into the office. “Were you planning on attending the wedding tomorrow?”

  “Yes. I’m looking forward to it.” Although she hadn’t received a formal invitation, both Sawyer and Abbey had asked her to come. “And I’ll be playing the piano at the rehearsal tonight, too.”

  “You will?”

  “The man bringing the recorded music won’t be available until the wedding itself. He’s coming from Fairbanks.”

  “I see. Speaking of the wedding,” Charles said, “I was wondering if you’d…consider attending it with me—” he paused as if the words had stuck in his throat “—as my date?”

  Lanni smiled softly. You’d almost think he dreaded her response. “I’d like that very much.”

  “Great,” he said, grinning broadly. “Shall we meet at the church? I’d offer to stop by the house and personally escort you, but unfortunately I’m going to have my hands full with Sawyer.”

  “He told me you’re his best man.”

  “I just hope he lasts through the ceremony. I’ve never met a more nervous groom.”

  “He’ll be fine.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure he will.”

  Lanni’s fingers fumbled with the papers on Sawyer’s desk.

  “Will you be going over to Ben’s for the dinner tonight?” Charles asked.

  She nodded. From what she’d heard, at least half the town would be on hand for the after-rehearsal dinner.

  “I’ll look for you there.” Charles seemed to brighten.

  “I’ll probably be a little late, though,” Lanni said, regretting now that she’d volunteered to be part of the crew that would decorate the church. “I promised I’d help get the sanctuary ready for the wedding.”

  “I’ll save a seat for you,” Charles promised, “next to me.”

  Lanni liked the idea of that and smiled.

  “I’ll see you at seven, then,” he said, backing out of the trailer.

  She raised her hand in farewell. “Until seven.”

  Feeling oddly shaky after the short encounter, Lanni sat down again. It wasn’t the first time she’d observed that being around Charles left her feeling distinctly weak in the knees.

  * * *

  Charles was having real difficulty paying attention. This was supposed to be a practice before the actual wedding. A rehearsal, so everyone would know when to sit and stand. So Charles would know when to steer his lovesick brother toward the altar, when to jab him in the ribs signaling it was time to repeat his vows.

  He should be paying attention. Instead, his gaze repeatedly wandered over to Lanni, who sat behind the old upright piano.

  Again and again his eye
s were drawn to her lips. Why he should choose that precise moment to remember how soft and sweet her mouth was, he’d never know.

  Thank goodness no one could read his mind. He’d probably be arrested for harboring such sensual thoughts in a church. If the evening was starting out like this—with him so distracted he couldn’t see straight—Charles hated to think about the dinner.

  It was bad enough that—

  “Charles,” Reverend Wilson, the circuit minister, cut into his musings. “Were you listening?”

  “Sorry,” he muttered, pulling his eyes and thoughts away from Lanni.

  “Pay attention,” Sawyer grumbled. “I’m going to need you.”

  Charles had certainly figured that out. What he hadn’t figured out, though, was where all these people had come from, and more importantly, where they were going to sleep. Thank goodness his mother and Christian weren’t arriving until the morning, especially since Sawyer had given Christian’s bed to Abbey’s matron of honor and her husband.

  Reverend Wilson stood in front of the group. “I think we’d better run through this one more time. I sense some…confusion here, and we want the actual ceremony to go as smoothly as possible.”

  Charles groaned inwardly.

  “All right, let’s start from the beginning.”

  It took most of an hour to go through the ceremony one last time. Charles did his best to pay attention, although it remained a struggle to keep his eyes off Lanni. She looked so beautiful in her white cotton dress that he wondered how anyone could not stare at her.

  When Reverend Wilson finally dismissed them, Charles casually made his way over to the piano. Almost everyone else had vacated the church in a rush—as if fearful that the good pastor might find some excuse to call them back.

  As Charles approached the piano, Lanni was straightening a stack of sheet music.

  “You did a great job,” he told her, but in fact he couldn’t have identified a single piece she’d played.

  “Thank you.”

  “If you want, I’ll wait for you and we can walk over to Ben’s together,” he suggested.

  Lanni looked at Pearl Inman, who stood at the back of the church holding a bag of huge white ribbons. “You’d better go on without me,” she said with obvious reluctance. “It’ll take ten or fifteen minutes to put up the pew bows, and everyone will wonder where you are if you don’t show up right away.”