Forgotten

by Evangeline Anderson

  “All right.” She’d nodded. “She can stay with me. But mind you think about letting her tame your Beast some time in the future—when she’s regained her feelings for you again.”

  “I hope that will be soon.” Rone had sighed. “I’m so in love with her, Tante—I never stopped. But I’m having to build her trust in me from the very beginning. It’s a very delicate time right now. So please…just keep things light between you while she stays with you. All right?”

  “All right, all right,” the old woman had said. “I won’t put my nose where it doesn’t belong. You bring Kate here to me and I’ll watch over her while you change.”

  “Thank you.” Rone had felt a surge of relief. He loved his Tante Corii—she was his only living relative. But she could be really stubborn at times…

  Now as he introduced her to Kate, he hoped she would remember her promise. So far, at least, she seemed to be on her best behavior…

  “It’s so good to see you again!” she told Kate, giving her a big hug.

  Kate hugged back, an uncertain look on her face.

  “I, uh, know that I knew you in the past but I’m afraid I don’t remember you right now. My memories…”

  “I know all about that, never you mind.” Tante Corii smiled at her. “Why don’t you just come along into the domicile and we can all have a nice hot cup of chuurah tea before Rone goes off to the Howlund to change?”

  “Actually…” Rone shifted from foot to foot, looking in the direction of the forest which was filled with silvery green and blue trees. “I’d really like to go now. I’m sorry, Tante but can I visit with you after?”

  “Of course. A male’s got to do what a male’s got to do.” Tante patted his arm and smiled. “Just you go on and don’t worry about a thing. Kate and I are going to get to know each other all over again.”

  “Thank you.” Rone gave her a grateful smile and a peck on the cheek. Already he could feel his Beast rumbling inside him, demanding to be let out, to roam free, to hunt and kill or breed—whichever he permitted. It had been too long since he took his fur-form—too long since he’d allowed the other half of himself room to breathe. But he took a moment to kiss Kate as well—gently on the lips.

  “I love you,” he murmured, looking into her eyes. “I swear I’ll be back tomorrow morning. Just promise me you’ll stay here, safe inside with Tante Corii.”

  “I promise.” Kate looked up at him, an anxious expression in her pale green eyes. “But…will it be safe for you?”

  Tante Corii gave an amused laugh.

  “My goodness child—he’ll be in his fur-form! There’s nothing on the Goddess’s green planet that can hurt him in that form.”

  “Well that’s good to know, anyway.” Kate smiled at him and Rone was warmed to see the concern she felt for him in her lovely eyes.

  She’s coming back to me, little by little, he thought. Soon I’ll win her love again and we can be like we were before. And even if she never gets her memories back, we can make new ones together. We’ll have another joining ceremony—another wedding—whatever she wants. We’ll be a team again and the first thing we’re going to do is hunt down that son-of-a-bitch Dark Kindred, Two and make him pay for wiping Kate’s memories in the first place. After that, we’ll be free to do as we want…living our lives on the Finder, traveling the universe and loving each other every day, rebuilding the perfect life we lost…

  It was a wonderful thought—a perfect plan for their future together. Rone was certain they had turned the corner and were on the right track—nothing could pull them apart now.

  Nothing.

  * * * * *

  “What does it mean, his ‘fur-form’?” Kate asked, when she and the old lady were inside the little hut which was covered in some kind of flowering blue vine. They were seated at a table which appeared to have been grown rather than made—at least, all four of its legs seemed to be rooted in the floor which was carpeted by some kind of dense, purple moss that felt heavenly on her feet when she took of her shoes.

  “Well that’s just what Wulvan males call it when their Beast comes out.” Tante Corii poured her a steaming cup of aromatic tea into a long, thin drinking vessel that looked like a champagne flute and a coffee mug had mated and produced a baby.

  “So…they don’t actually turn into an animal? Or some kind of hairy werewolf-type creature?” Kate wanted to know.

  “Oh gracious, child—no!” Tante Corii laughed good naturedly. “Now mind you, they used to before the Kindred came along and started intermarrying with the Wulven. They used to turn into a ravening, wild, four-legged creature with huge lamp-like eyes and fangs as long as your finger. But the Kindred genes are strong and they bred most of that out in a few generations. Now when a Wulven male takes his ‘fur-form’ he mostly just gets a little harrier and his eyes turn silver.”

  “Really? That’s it?” Kate was slightly disappointed. After all Rone’s dire talk about his big, bad Beast, she’d been imagining at the very least, a character out of the Beauty and the Beast fairytale and at worse, some kind of wolfman.

  Tante Corii gave her a level look.

  “Believe me, child—that’s enough. For when the Beast comes out, a male Wulven doesn’t just change outwardly—he changes inwardly as well. The good and decent and civilized part of him is gone—just gone. And all that’s left is a monster in male form—one who has only two interests.”

  “Breeding or feeding, right?” Kate said in a low voice.

  “That’s right, I’m afraid.” Tante Corii sighed. “But you know, that isn’t to say the Beast is evil or worthless—it’s just a personification of the most simple and direct drives that live in all of us. They’re just especially strong in males, that’s all.”

  “Rone told me that before I lost my memories I wanted to…wanted to try and tame his Beast,” Kate said, looking down at her tea-flute or whatever the weird drinking vessel was called.

  “That you did, child. You confided as much to me the last time the two of you were here.” The old woman got up from the table for a moment. When she came back, she had an ancient, worn volume in one hand, bound in blue leather. “Here.” She slid the text in front of Kate. “You asked me to get you that.”

  “What is it?” Kate stroked a finger over the leather spine of the book curiously. It was strangely smooth, as though hundreds of hands had touched it over the generations.

  “The Landii-Katrum—the Volume of Submission.” Tante Corii tapped the blue leather with one crooked finger. “In there are explicit instructions on how to get your male’s Beast to breed you rather than feeding on you.”

  “My God. Is that really a problem? I mean, does it happen often that the girl gets eaten instead of, uh, bred?”

  The old woman shrugged. “It happens from time to time but mostly when the match is wrong for some reason or the female doesn’t truly love the male she’s trying to tame. The Beast can sense things—it sniffs out true intentions and if true love and caring aren’t present in the female’s heart, it can smell that in her scent. That’s when things tend to turn, well…bloody.”

  Kate shivered. “Ugh! Well I guess you don’t have many gold-diggers on G’nera, huh?” Then, seeing the confused expression on Tante Corii’s face she explained. “Someone who only wants to get married—uh, joined—for wealth or power.”

  The old lady’s face cleared. “Oh. Well no, we don’t. Any male’s Beast would smell such duplicity. And usually, it isn’t a problem—almost all Beasts are more interested in breeding than feeding when they catch their chosen female’s scent.”

  “I would think it would never be a problem at all, if you only marry for love here,” Kate said thoughtfully.

  “Well, there have been a few tragic instances where a female was forced into a joining by her family…we even have an old legend about it. The story of Trane and Jalla.”

  “Trane and Jalla? Who were they?”

  “It is an ancient tale—one that took place before the Kindre
d came to G’nera and tempered the Beasts of the Wulven males somewhat. Trane was a male who was deeply in love with a female, Jalla. However, she was in love with another,” Tante Corii explained. “But their parents decided it was an advantageous match and decreed they would join Jalla to Trane whether she wanted to or no.”

  “Weren’t they worried she’d be killed by his Beast?” Kate asked.

  The old woman shook her head.

  “They dismissed her other love as a passing infatuation. They were certain that by the time she was joined to Trane she would learn to love him. And so they were joined.” She sighed. “Soon after that, Trane came to realize that the love Jalla had for the other male was no passing fancy—he was the one she ought to have been joined to. Trane went to his parents and asked to have the joining dissolved but they decreed there was too much at stake to make such a costly decision and denied his request.”

  “So what could he do?” Kate asked, taking a sip of her tea, which had cooled considerably.

  “Well, Trane was truly in love with Jalla. And even though she didn’t return that love, he didn’t want her to be hurt or killed. So he refused to let her try to tame his Beast because he feared for her. But his parents and hers caught him in a trap, the next time he went to the Howlund. They forced the two of them together and, well…his Beast killed her.” Tante Corii shook her gray head sadly.

  “Oh, no!” Kate put a hand to her mouth. “That’s so sad! And then he had to live with the guilt the rest of his life?”

  “Oh no, child, he did not live with guilt.”

  “He didn’t? Why?” Kate asked. She could only imagine how horrible it would be to wake up from some kind of bestial fugue state and realize you’d hurt or killed the one you loved. Did he…did he kill himself?” she asked, thinking it was like G’nera’s version of a Romeo and Juliette story.

  “In a way. He gave himself to the Ei’wani—the living death,” Tante Corii said.

  “Living death?” Kate shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

  “It’s when a Wulven male goes to the wilderness—not just the Howlund, mind you but the wastes at the edge of Corith al Cruthe—the Desert of Death. There he gives up his consciousness for good and lets his Beast take over completely so that he need never think of the horrible thing he has done again.”

  “Oh, that’s awful!” Kate exclaimed.

  “Yet some males do it—usually when they have done some terrible thing or suffered a loss so great their mind cannot bear it,” Tante Corii said. “Honestly, I was afraid that Rone might go to the Desert of Death himself when you went missing. And if he hadn’t found you, he might have.”

  “Please don’t talk like that—I can’t stand it,” Kate whispered. “I…I don’t even want to think of such a thing.”

  The look in Tante Corii’s faded blue eyes softened somewhat. “You really care for him, don’t you child?”

  “I do,” Kate admitted. “Or I’m beginning to. Since I lost all the memories of how we first met and fell in love, it’s kind of like we’re starting from scratch. But Rone is so kind and gentle and patient—I can see why I fell for him the first time.”

  “And you’re beginning to fall again.” Tante Corii smiled at her. “I knew you were the right female for my sister’s son the first moment I laid eyes on you, Kate. This is a terrible setback the two of you are going through but I know with the Goddess’s help, you’ll be back together and stronger than ever soon. And then maybe you’ll have a use for this.” She tapped the blue leather binding of the Landii-Katrum knowingly.

  “May I keep it? To study?” Kate asked. “I mean, I can tell it’s very old but I promise I’ll be careful with it.”

  “It’s been passed down in our family for generations,” the old woman told her. “So it’s rightfully yours now. Just mind you don’t let Rone see you with it—he didn’t want you to have it.”

  “Because he’s afraid he’ll hurt me if I…if I try to tame his Beast,” Kate said. “He said it was like, uh…well, like rape.” Her cheeks burned as she said it but Rone’s aunt seemed to take her words in stride.

  “Well, it’s a rough coupling and make no mistake about that,” she said frankly. “But you don’t go to tame a male’s Beast expecting tender kisses and gentle love-making. You have to be ready and willing to submit and understand that when he takes you it won’t be pretty or sweet. It will be harsh and raw and long and hard. But if you’re ready for that—if you can take pleasure in submitting to the Beast and just open yourself to him, well, then it needn’t be a rape.”

  “I see.” Kate’s cheeks were still burning at the old woman’s frank description but she thought she could understand. Mating with the Beast would require a certain mindset—a willingness to open yourself to his savage lovemaking and submit to his carnal lusts. Which was doubtless why the book Tante Corii had given her was called The Volume of Submission.

  “I’m glad you understand,” Tante Corii said. “It’s not a pretty thing—but it can be good just the same. Especially when you wake in your male’s arms and feel the bond between you and know nothing can ever separate you again.”

  Kate frowned. “But if everyone else here does that—if all females do when they mate with a Wulven male—then why is Rone so reluctant to let me do it?”

  “Well…” Tante Corii sighed. “I think he’s afraid he’ll hurt you. Because of you being so tiny, you know.”

  “Yes, I know that,” Kate said. “He told me that. But is there some other reason—some underlying problem that makes him so reluctant to do what every other male on his planet does?”

  “Ah, you’re very wise.” Tante Corii nodded. “There is, actually. Rone had a female relative—I’m not sure what you would call her—the daughter of my brother.”

  “A cousin, I think,” Kate said.

  “All right then—a cousin. Anyway, she was older than Rone but he loved her like an older sibling. Le’la, she was called.” Tante Corii looked sad. “She’s gone now—the Blue Fever took her when it swept through our region, years ago, before we had a cure. But before she died…”

  “Did something happen to her?” Kate asked gently. “Did she have…trouble when she tried to tame her male’s Beast?”

  “It was…an especially rough mating,” Tante Corii said heavily. “The male she loved wasn’t overly gentle even when he didn’t let his Beast out. And when she went to tame him, well…he scarred her.”

  “Scarred her?” Kate frowned. “But I thought a Wulven male was able to heal his mate’s wounds. Rone, uh, healed some for me.” She thought of the way he had licked her back and shivered.

  “And so they can—fresh wounds are easy to heal. As long as they aren’t inflicted by the male’s Beast during breeding. Those wounds—wounds made with the teeth or claws—can never be healed and they scar badly.” Tante Corii sighed. “It’s to do with the Wulven biology, you see—the Beast wants to mark his partner, so no other male will come near her. And so he produces special compounds during mating that causes scars form wherever he wounds her.”

  “And where…where was Le’la wounded?” Kate asked.

  “From here…to here.” The old lady drew a line with her finger from her forehead down to her cheek bone. “He blinded her in her right eye as well. Poor girl—she never looked the same. And she was so beautiful before.”

  “Oh my God, that’s awful.” Kate shivered, glad that she wasn’t going to the Howlund to try and tame Rone’s Beast.

  “It’s rare that something that bad happens,” Tante Corii told her. “Most mating scars are small and inconspicuous. But seeing his beloved Le’la scarred like that had quite an effect on Rone—he was only young, you see. And it wasn’t just her face that got torn up.”

  “It…it wasn’t?” Kate was almost afraid to ask where else Rone’s beloved cousin had been wounded.

  “I’m afraid not. As I said, the one who mated her wasn’t known for his gentleness. And in Beast form, well…” Tante Corii shook her head
. “The healer had to come and examine her—you know, between her legs? She was that badly injured.”

  “Uh…” Kate didn’t know what to say.

  “Anyway, we thought Rone was out playing but it turned out later that he had been hiding in the closet, listening to everything that went on. Poor Le’la crying out in pain and the healer saying how rough she’d had it, how he’d bruised her inside…” She shook her head. “Rone didn’t admit to me he’d heard all that for years, you know but when he did, he swore he would never hurt a female he loved in such a way. And that’s why he doesn’t want you to try and tame his Beast—even though it’s the Wulven way and the way the Goddess has ordained for us.”

  “How did we manage before if I couldn’t tame his Beast?” Kate asked.

  “You found a way around it somehow.” Tante Corii looked disapproving. “But it meant you had an incomplete bond. And I truly believe that your memories would not have been so thoroughly and easily wiped if you’d had a full bond to hold you together. Being incompletely bonded makes you vulnerable to outside attacks—keeps you from giving yourselves to each other completely.”

  “I see,” Kate said uneasily.

  “So you just think about that and study that copy of the Landii-Katrum.” She tapped the book again. “And if you don’t use it yourself, keep it for your son or daughter when they come of age. Because I just know you and Rone are going to start a family soon—probably the very next time he takes you to the Breeding Chair.”

  “Oh…uh…” Kate could feel her cheeks getting hot. “I guess so.”

  “I know so,” Tante Corii said firmly. “Now, I know the two of you have had a rough time lately—Rone told me how you barely escaped from that crazy Fire and Snow place.”

  “It was called Flame and Frost,” Kate corrected gently. “But yes, it was weird and we were lucky to get out when we did.”

  “Exactly. So I’m just going to show you to your room and let you relax. Would that be all right?”

  “That would be…” Kate yawned. “Oh, excuse me! That would be wonderful, actually. I’m really very tired,” she admitted.