Serenity (Forever Book 1)

by India R. Adams

  The next time the chair scrapes, I jolt in bed, terrified I just gave myself away.

  “Shh, I’m here—”

  Dereck doesn’t get to finish talking before my hand is waving through the air, searching for him. I watched a movie once, The Village, with a blind girl who would bravely hold out her hand, waiting for the young man she loved to take hold. That’s what this feels like, but I don’t have to wait long. Dereck grabs it firmly. I’m not alone.

  My eyes struggle to open, and I see a woman mopping my hospital room. She winces— “Sorry”—as she pushes a chair into place next to a fold-out cot in the corner.

  “Where am I, Dereck?”

  He kisses my hand. “In a hospital. Can you remember why you’re here?”

  I shake my head but whimper with the pain this simple movement has caused. “I’m scared.”

  His body hovers over me. “I’m here.”

  I ask what happened, and he tells me I was in a car accident. I ask if my Sky is okay, but the next thing I know, I’m staring at this magnificent bundle of colorful balloons before I fall asleep…

  In the distance, Dereck is whispering, “It would be like learning of her passing every time Serenity wakes up.”

  Lying in a strange bed, I think to myself, Whose passing?

  Josh’s voice rumbles, “That’s just too cruel.”

  “Exactly. That’s why we keep diverting her attention.”

  “I know this is the hardest thing you have ever been through, honey.” Faith is trying to console someone. Is that Jolene sniffling? Why does everyone sound so upset? I try to open my tired eyes.

  “Hi, Sugar Plum.”

  Through slight slits in my eyelids, I see brown eyes that always speak to me. “Am I dreaming?”

  “No. I’m here.” Destiny is standing next to my bed with a good-looking cowboy behind her. He’s smiling at me with an empathy I can’t understand.

  Exhausted, I glance around to view white walls, not Dereck’s, not even the walls from my old home. I start to cry. For some reason, being confused is draining. “But I don’t know where here is. Can you help me? I’m so tired, and my head hurts so bad. And”—I rub my chest—“something is wrong.”

  Cowboy runs his hand over his mouth.

  A cool little palm rests on my forehead. “I will take it away.”

  As if someone reached into my skull, found my ache, and removed it, the pain slips from me. With no energy to celebrate such a victory, I let my body sink into the sandpaper sheets someone has laid me on. “Thank you,” I tell Destiny. “Thank you.”

  Destiny begins humming the wonderful song from our dreams and then softly sings the words for the very first time.

  Hope is there, and love is real

  I’ll show you what your dreams are made of

  Hold on girl and don’t let go

  There’s so much more you are a part of

  “But she’s remembered where she is three times in a row now.”

  I do. I know I was in an accident, but I can’t remember the actual event. Yet waking alone in this hospital room is still scary to me. “Dereck?”

  “Here. I’m here,” he says, rushing in from the hospital hall.

  I’m becoming a bit anxious. “Why do I feel so alone?”

  Dereck stops racing to me. His shoulders cave so quickly, his body almost implodes. If that’s not enough to alarm me, his peaked face is.

  Josh enters, coming up behind Dereck, and places his hand on his shoulder. “I’m with you, brother. It’s time.” Josh has dark circles under his eyes. His skin and light have both faded substantially.

  With continual support from Josh, Dereck drags his feet on the hard floor as he visibly forces himself to come to the side of my bed.

  I study him as my breathing becomes labored. “Dereck, what’s wrong?” He looks down. “Josh, what’s going on?”

  Standing next to Dereck, Josh says, “Hey, baby girl.” He sounds and looks… utterly drained. His dry lips press to my forehead and stay there as he inhales.

  “Josh? What—”

  His forehead rests on mine. “You’re my girl. I love you.”

  He has coffee on his breath, which makes no sense. Josh doesn’t drink coffee.

  As he slowly pulls away, I touch his face. Even though he’s standing right in front of me, not crying, I suddenly see tears falling down his face. It’s not a vision. What I’m seeing inside my mind is more like a memory, but I can’t remember him ever crying like that before. The closest time is when he learned Sky had been raped. Sky. Where is she?

  Jolene walks in with Faith’s arm around her. My bright, radiant, strong Jolene is now a frail creature. Her eyes are dim, and her cheeks are sunk in considerably. I call to her, but she only blows me a kiss, seemingly refusing to come near me. She retreats to a wall I face and leans against it. A flash of a memory crosses my mind. It’s of Jolene crumbling to the ground, but as with Josh, I can’t remember when this happened.

  Faith rubs Jolene’s arm then comes to me. She takes hold of my hand. “How are you feeling, Serenity?”

  I clutch her warm fingers. “I’m… confused and…” I whisper, “scared.”

  She nods. “I understand. I would be, too.” She gestures around the room. “This must be a bit overwhelming.”

  I nervously nod.

  She winks. “But what’s also in this room is us. So, you’re not alone. Do you understand?”

  Maybe, because of this accident, the X-rays and CAT scans have found something else medically wrong with me. My family looks so gloomy, maybe they are here to tell me I will be leaving them soon. Is that why Sky is not here? Oh God, losing me will devastate her. Not bringing her here was the right decision. My fingers tighten on Faith’s as my eyes tear for my friends who will miss me so much. Please, God. Be with them. Love them. Help them through this. “Yes, I understand.”

  She pats the top of my hand. “Good girl.” She inhales, as if preparing to say something else. “Someone else wants to be here with you.” She glances at the doorway. “Rocco? Would you like to see Serenity?”

  The light from the hallway fades as Tower blocks it, slowly walking to me as if every single step is somehow causing him deep pain. His eyes refuse to meet mine.

  I try to reassure him, but my words sound choked. “It’s okay, Teddy Bear.”

  He stands next to Faith and grips my bed railing. The sight of his tense fingers makes me wince. I’ve seen this stress before. Blood, I’ve seen blood on these hands. My chest tightens, and I find myself wanting to crawl backward, away from what my mind is trying to remember.

  Faith’s hand tightens on mine. “You are not alone. Keep breathing, Serenity.”

  Blood, there’s blood on the ground.

  Dereck grasps my other hand as my back pushes into this mattress that has owned my body for days. Body. There’s a body but whose? My feet rub against the sheets that smell of bleach. Smell. Concrete… Tainted iron? I’m now physically pushing against the mattress with my anxious feet, preparing to run from something horrific. Run. Someone ran away… Someone’s heavy footfalls ran to me. I start to moan as my chest feels as though it has been stabbed repeatedly. In fact, I’m currently being sliced, filleted. Sliced… Exposed meat…

  My eyes slam shut, making what I’m feeling—seeing—worse. Behind my eyelids are heinous images of an injured skull. “Oh God, who am I seeing?” My back slides up the bed. I must escape these awful… memories? People are talking to me, hands are on me, but I can’t hear them! My ears and heart are burning as I stand in my bed, demanding answers. “Who? Who is hurt?” Standing taller then everyone, I glare—I fucking glare at them all as I growl, “Who?”

  Rocco’s slight movement draws my attention like a rabid animal. Slowly, he looks up at me. His b
eautiful blue eyes finally dare to expose… torture. I’ve never witnessed such anguish in one’s eyes before.

  Memories attack me, flood me like a DVD stuck on fast forward. “No.” The car hitting us… The windshield cracking… The jarring hit to the ground… The blood… Her eyes… “No,” I pitifully cry. “No, Rocco. Tell me she’s not gone.”

  Dereck, Josh, and Faith pull on my hands, trying to lay me back down. They are saying things, but nothing can penetrate the delusional state I am rapidly transferring to. Nothing except for the crippling guilt Rocco is experiencing.

  He suddenly bellows, “I’m so sorry,” as if dying right in front of us. “I’m so sorry, Serenity! I’m so sorry! I’m sorry…”

  Ripping free from the ones trying to contain my downward spiral, I leap from the bed and into the arms of the only one who is feeling pain comparable to mine. IVs and wires tear from my skin, setting off a slew of alarms. As Dereck and Josh stretch over my bed in attempts to hold me, Rocco’s arms, all too willingly, envelop me. He backs away, and I cling to him for dear life. I call for her—for my Sky—over and over…

  Faith gets out of the way and runs to Jolene, who has collapsed on the ground, hysterical. Dereck and Josh rush around the bed to Rocco and me, who are exhibiting our own hysteria.

  A nurse runs in then out, yelling for assistance.

  Roc is embracing me so tightly that my ribs feel the pressure. He cries, “Y-You feel just like her.” He’s dumbfounded. “Why-why do you feel just like her?”

  I can’t reply. I can only scream over my missing friend.

  Dereck and Josh grab me, both yelling for Rocco to let me go, but she was with him all the time. Her energy is on every part of him. Holding Rocco makes Skyler course through me.

  He squeezes me tighter, uncontrollably crying, “No! Don’t take her from me! She feels like Sky, damn it!”

  Dereck and Josh’s persistence in trying to separate us, the security guards joining them, starts a frenzy of actions. Arms intertwine and try to pry us apart, but Rocco’s formidable muscle prevents the separation. Nurses and doctors all try to help control this distorted mass of struggling bodies, but the only ones who have a chance are Dereck and Josh. Josh’s arms are wrapping around Rocco’s torso—as Dereck’s are with mine—and with absolute brute strength, they force their arms between us.

  Overload. I’m in complete mental overload.

  Roc cries, “Don’t take Sky from me!”

  I wail in agony from the sudden incredible head pain impeding my vision.

  A doctor yells, “We have bleeding ears. Give her an Ativan injection. Stat.”

  A sharp poke stings my upper arm right before I’m brutally yanked from Rocco, so hard that Dereck and I sail backward. His back slams to the ground, my back to his chest. When my body begins to involuntarily relax, I understand what the sting was. They’ve drugged me.

  Dereck’s exasperated lungs lift me with his every inhale, his arms holding me in place. As the sedative takes effect, I become limp. A miserable soft cry, my last bit of fight, escapes me.

  “But she’s all over him.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I catch a glimpse of Rocco losing his footing, stumbling. He’s been drugged, too. Josh and three men help the huge form to the ground not far from where Dereck and I lie. His eyes are closing as Teddy Bear’s outstretched hand reaches for me.

  Barely able, my hand lazily moves forward till I feel her again by touching him. I sigh with my now-loose jaw. “She’s all over him, Dereck.”

  Dereck holds me. “I know, baby. I know.”

  Josh tries to catch his breath. “He’s out.”

  The room quiets to only heavy breathing as the explosion settles; Jolene is softly crying in the background. A nurse is on her knees, putting pressure to my IV wound.

  Dereck quietly tells her, “She’ll need X-rays. Before I could free her, I felt something pop.”

  I don’t care. I don’t even feel my broken ribs, only the adrenaline from the new injury. I cling to the fingers that have stopped holding mine and try to sense the last essence of my best friend.

  “Jasmine…”

  “Skyler?”

  “It’s me, Baby Doll.” Dereck wrings out a washcloth in a bowl of water, then wipes my ear. He looks twenty years older.

  Barely recognizing my own voice, I ask, “What are you doing?”

  Gently, my husband continues to wipe me with care. “You have a contusion on your brain. There was more swelling. When you became so upset, the pressure caused bleeding from”—he forces a swallow—“your ears.”

  As much as Dereck wants to, he cannot shield me from the truth. My Skyler is gone. I will never smell her hair, feel her touch, hold her hand. As my chest rises and falls faster and faster, I begin to doubt whether I’m going to live through this. I. Need. Her. Intense pain builds in my chest. Shooting pain focuses on my heart. My eyes close so tightly, I’m not sure I will ever be able to open them again. The unwanted energy vacancy is leaving me with a stifling emptiness.

  Blinding pain. Blinding pain.

  Air. I start to receive air again when I feel Dereck crawl in bed with me. He presses his body against mine, gently wrapping his arm around me. I sense his silent prayer for me to survive her loss. Dereck, along with my Crew, most likely knows there’s no guarantee. My hands grasp at his shirt. I’m frustrated.

  Dereck peers over my shoulder. “No, please—leave her be. I can calm her down.”

  “Mr. Hamilton,” says a nurse, “it’s just to keep her lightly sedated, until more healing takes place.”

  Dereck, disappointed, wipes at my ear then nods to the nurse. My body quickly eases, my fist unclenching his shirt. My head becomes so heavy I wonder if I will remember to breathe. But then I feel Dereck inhale, triggering my own inhale, just as Skyler used to do. Maybe numbing me is for the best. Dereck holds me to him as my breathing follows his. We stay like this for the next two days.

  Dereck refuses to go to school but is forced to eat. My world has been destroyed, and he doesn’t seem to want one ounce of pleasure until I show improvement. I wake to the sound of water running. Josh is at my side. He caresses my face, gazing at me adoringly.

  “It’s okay. Dereck is just taking a shower.”

  Slowly, I roll to my side to see him better. I wince. My ribs hurt so much that it steals my breath.

  Josh urgently says, “Don’t move.” My hand finds his, begging him not to go. “I’m not going anywhere, my Short—” He stops.

  I’m broken inside and out, seeing him so handsome in his black suit. “How can she be gone?”

  Shattered lives, hopeless hearts

  Trying to breathe but don’t know where to start

  Desperate to go back in time,

  And take back what should be mine

  Dereck’s hair is still wet as he crawls in behind me, curling to me so I can breathe again. Josh speaks to him with eyes that scream fear, but they both look at me when I ask with a hoarse voice, “Did I do something wrong? Am I being punished?”

  They don’t have the answer, so they don’t give me one. All too soon, Dereck has to dress. Dave and Colt stay with me so that everyone else can go to the funeral. It was hard to convince Dereck to go. I begged him to represent me. The hospital won’t release me. The two brothers are so kind and patient as I cry because I’m never to see my best friend again. My last memory of her will be my worst. Now Sky is far from my eyes, soon to be deep, deep in the earth.

  Chapter Forty

  Dereck: My Baby’s Funeral

  The nauseated feeling in my stomach is because I’m being forced to leave my wife unattended. I know my brothers are with her, but that doesn’t settle my rattled nerves. The only ones that can care for Serenity to my satisfaction are all with me so we can bury our baby—that’s
what Skyler felt like to me. My child, or younger sibling. The need to watch over her was almost debilitating at times. So consumed with worry for these exceptional girls… and now one is fucking dead.

  As I stood inside that damn party, carrying on like a normal teenager, I—for three minutes—forgot I’m not normal. Everything inside me says I am somehow responsible for protecting two of the most stupendous beings on this earth, and I let one be ripped away from us. Everyone is now paying an unspeakable price for my complete lapse in judgment. How could I have been so careless as not to have escorted them outside? How could I let down my guard when my instincts screamed otherwise?

  Now I’m in a black suit, heading to a cemetery, so I can put in the ground the one I failed so epically. If it weren’t for Serenity, my absolute love for that girl, I would lie in the grave with my baby and happily be covered with dirt, never to leave her side, and never to fail Sky again.

  Flash!

  In the backseat of my truck, I growl at the media camping out for the perfect picture of our torture. From behind my steering wheel, Josh warns, “Easy, Dereck.” El Capitan knows me well and knows I’m about to go nuclear on these assholes I detest. I don’t care if I’m a Hamilton or that Dukes is driving my truck. With every image those photographers capture, I feel they are mocking our pain.

  Jolene’s gasp from in front of me distracts me and puts me on full alert. That is, until I see what she’s responding to. Cars and trucks take up every parking place. Holy shit. I think every student from both schools is here for Sky’s graveside service. Josh’s old high school football team, my current teammates, are sporadically and strategically placed along the road, directing us. Each one holds up Josh’s peace sign as we pass.