Liv. My stupidity clearly knows no bounds. I messed up. I messed up bad.
Simon’s finger rested limply on the ‘send’ button as he lay in bed the next morning, looking at his phone vacantly, and pondered the wisdom of sending yet another text to Olivia. He had barely slept a wink, and his stomach was clenched in tight knots. He knew at some point he had to accept greater responsibility for how he was handling the Ian situation, but he also needed Olivia’s comforting advice. The night before had finally been his chance to let Ian know how he felt, and it seemed like Ian was returning his feelings, but he had let the opportunity slip away from him again. His thoughts were swimming. He pulled the sheet up over his face, ready to explode with embarrassment and the sinking feeling that he had missed his one chance to be with Ian.
Simon had had a dream about Ian the night before, replaying the events of their evening with a more favorable outcome. In his dream, Ian had held on tightly to his hand, and then reached up to hold his face, staring into his eyes, and he whispered to Simon: “I don’t want to be without you. I want you.” The longing was overwhelming for Simon. He could feel the yearning he felt for Ian course through his body, and he remembered how close he was to tears the night before.
And then Ian had left him to see Margeaux. Of all people. Was there something going on between the two of them? She had certainly been very forward in kissing him and even pinching his butt before, but Ian was too smart to go for someone like that. Right?
Simon finally pushed himself out of bed, and tried to fight away thoughts of Ian. It was getting him nowhere to be recycling the self-loathing and regret that he had been feeling all morning and night. He was determined to focus on something that he could control: helping Zuko. His friend needed him, and Ian needed him to investigate and expose what was going on. If there was a pattern there, it could be a really important story to share with students. Simon needed to make sure, first of all, that Zuko was okay.
Ian’s instincts were always right, so Simon decided to trust him. If he thought that there was something fishy with the way the Ridgemont management handled cases of unfair discrimination, then Simon believed him. The only thing he had to do was find out why they would try and cover up it up, and what exactly had happened to finally drive Zuko away. Simon reached for his phone again and tried Zuko’s cell phone. It was at least the hundredth time that he had tried calling his friend over the past few days, but every time the phone was either switched off or it would just ring. Zuko’s mother was being of no help, simply ignoring Simon’s calls. This time, however, Simon was taken aback to hear an answer to his call, and Zuko’s voice timidly saying, “Hello?”
“Zuko, is that you? Finally! I’ve been trying to reach you non-stop for days now. Why have you been ignoring my calls?”
“Simon, I’m sorry for being so distant. I just needed some space to think things through.” Simon heard Zuko take a deep breath.
“But everything is fine. You don’t need to worry.”
Simon was unconvinced. Zuko’s voice sounded different, heavier, and he knew from the injuries Zuko had sustained before that everything was definitely not okay. “What happened? Why did you suddenly leave? Why are your things not in your room anymore?”
“Simon, I left Ridgemont. It’s just not the place for me. You know I wasn’t really fitting in.”
“What are you talking about? What exactly happened?” In Simon’s mind, it was clear that Zuko was hiding something from him. Simon strained to keep his voice calm but involuntarily clenched his phone tighter: “Zuko, please tell me exactly what is going on.”
Zuko hesitated for a few seconds. “I can’t talk about it, Simon. They made me sign stuff. I’m not even sure if I should say anything at all.”
“Who made you sign what? What did you agree to? Zuko? Zee, I can help you. You know you can trust me.”
Zuko went quiet for a long time, and Simon waited for him to respond. Finally, a small, quavering voice, Zuko said, “I can meet you for lunch to talk about it. If you’re sure you can help me.”
“Okay, should we meet at my place? Or at Valerie’s just across the road from my flat?”
“No, I’d rather not meet on campus. Let’s go to the city and meet at Dino’s at Pinelands mall. I can be there around 1:30. Will that suit you?”
“Definitely, I’ll meet you there. I’m here for you, Zee. Please know that.”
Simon hung up the phone and had a new sense of determination to help his friend. Even though he felt a bit hesitant about going up against management, who had obviously made Zuko keep quiet about something, he was determined to stand up for what was right. He couldn’t allow his friend to live in fear.
After a quick shower, and on his way out, Simon noticed the corner of a poster showing over the edge of the top of his closet. He took it down one more time and looked at the man who reminded him so much of Ian, his clear cut jawline and deep, coffee brown eyes smiling back at him. I want to make you proud, Ian. I want to be braver for you.
Simon rushed out of the door of his flat, grabbing a banana from the kitchen counter for breakfast, and decided to make one stop before meeting Zuko since he still had a few hours to kill. He would go back to Zuko’s residence and try to speak to the residence head again. There were too many pieces to this puzzle to just ignore the residence, and if Zuko really was subject to a gag order, maybe he wouldn’t be able to find out what he really needed from him anyway.
Simon walked down Quellerie Street, lined with tall, proud oak trees, and stopped at his favorite coffee cart, where he picked up a latte. Feeling the caffeine rush through his blood, Simon felt a renewed sense of hope, and he was going to fix things. First with Zuko, then with Ian. He was going to go after the things he wanted, and not let himself be held back by fear anymore.
Simon arrived at Zuko’s residence and saw Zuko’s roommate sitting outside on the benches with other residents. Bare-chested, the group of guys were back-slapping one another for the most demeaning catcall. Empty beer bottles littered the grass. Simon’s disgust produced a sour feeling of distaste in his mouth, and uncharacteristically, he had to suppress the urge to spit. Better make a mental note to report these jerks later, Simon thought. He marched straight to the bench and stood facing Zuko’s roommate. “Can I ask you some questions for the Ridgemont Weekly? We are doing a story about what is happening in your residence.”
Leaning in aggressively as if accepting the challenge, the freshman met Simon’s gaze with a hard, thin sneer, not even bothering to mask his disdain for Simon. “If this is about your friend, he really didn’t belong here. Do you know the kinds of things he was doing?” The men all laughed, and Simon’s cheeks were warm with fury. Realizing the futility in talking with a bunch of Neanderthals, Simon gained a greater understanding for what Zuko was going through in the residence with such a group to contend with. He walked into the front door of the residence and asked the student assistant to see the residence head about a complaint. The student assistant walked up the stairs without saying a word, and Simon sat waiting in the foyer. He could see that this would be an uphill battle. The rest of the students living in the residence must have been briefed on how to deal with this situation already. Everyone standing united against the outsiders.
A few minutes later the student assistant returned, and said with an expressionless face: “You can make an appointment to see him if it is on official business only. You will need a letter to discuss complaints from a student society and faculty officer, and then he will be able to see you within the next few weeks if the letter is approved. Just protocol, you know.”
Simon was fuming. He took a few deep breaths, and struggled to contain his anger. It was common practice for students to consult with resident heads, whether or not they themselves were a resident. Bristling with anger, Simon seethed over his shoulder, “Thanks for the help. Your considerable efforts are greatly appreciated.”
His anger clouding his vision, Simon almost didn’t notice the familiar face
outside of the residence.
“Jeremy! Is that you?”
It was Jeremy from the Rainbow society, who got so close to Zuko on the dance floor at the journalism opening function.
Simon was startled by Jeremy’s appearance. His hair disheveled and unkempt, with loose strands falling over his forehead, his current appearance stood in stark contrast to the perfectly coiffed hairdo he sported at the ball. Dark circles lined his eyes, and his eyelids were drooping. Jeremy greeted Simon somberly. “Did you see Zuko? Is he still here? I’ve been trying to call.”
Simon explained that Zuko had left the residence, and that he was seeing him for lunch.
Jeremy seemed relieved, but his face was still heavy with worry. “I didn’t know what happened to him. I was so scared. I’ve been walking past here for the last few days just hoping I would see him come or go.”
“What happened, Jeremy? What did they do to Zuko?” Simon took Jeremy by the arm and pulled him down the street away from the residence, being careful not to be noticed by Zuko’s roommate who was still laughing with his friends on the bench in front of the residence.
Jeremy shook his head: “We were in his room. We hit it off after the journo function. I really liked him, and he said his roommate was away for the weekend. But he walked into the room while we were kissing. He saw us. He ran out, shouting horrible things. Poor Zuko. He came back with his friends. They kept me in the room and dragged Zuko away. I don’t know what they did to him. After a while they lifted me and carried me out of the res. They locked me out. I called campus security and told them what had happened. I waited here for Zuko.” Jeremy’s voice rose with a feeling of urgency, and tense worry strained his features.
“But they just told me that everything was okay and that they had resolved everything. The residence head told me to leave or he would have me arrested for trespassing. I didn’t know what else to do. I was so worried about him.”
Jeremy wrapped his arms around Simon and began to sob bitterly. “I know Zuko doesn’t want to see me. He sent me a message telling me just to stay away. I just didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if he was okay. I really liked him, and I didn’t want to be the cause of him getting into so much trouble.”
“You did nothing wrong, Jeremy. I’m on my way to see Zuko soon. Give me your number and I’ll keep you updated, okay.”
Simon continued to pat Jeremy on his back, feeling desperately sorry for him and for Zuko. While he tried to comfort Jeremy, he was also taken aback, shocked at the enormity of what was done to both Jeremy and Zuko. A somber determination settled in Simon’s bones, and he resolved to hold those responsible accountable for their actions.
He glanced back at the roommate and his friends, who were opening up another six pack.
“Zuko is way too important to me to allow a bunch of pinheads to ruin his chances at a good education and happiness. And I’ll happily prove that.”
Chapter 12
Hot Off the Press (Ridgemont University Book 1) Page 13
