by Eli Easton
“Are you even going to still be in Marseilles by September?”
There was a hesitation on the other end of the line. “If you’re coming to Rome, I’ll make sure of it.”
River sighed. She sounded so confident. He really wanted to believe her. He suddenly wanted to see her with a deep, hollow ache in his chest. It was like a broken bone that had never been set right and flared up in the winter cold. But he knew it was just as likely she’d be on the other side of the world come September.
You can’t control her actions. But you can control your lack of generosity in refusing to believe her, forgive her.
River closed his eyes. “I’d love that, Mom, seeing you in Rome. The thing is, I’m not sure I’m going. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. See, there’s a man.”
“There’s always a man, lambchop. But go ahead. Tell me about it.”
So he did. He told her everything. Sometimes it helped to just say things out loud, brought clarity. But there was no such relief this time. When he was done, he felt more twisted up about it than before.
She sounded doubtful. “So Brent was married to a woman, someone who was a partner in his business?”
“Yes.”
“And he’s prepared to just suddenly be gay with all his friends and customers and everyone?”
River rubbed a hand over his face. He didn’t like the implication, which was that he was being naive, even though he couldn’t deny he’d thought the same himself. “He says he doesn’t care about that. And he does seem to be pretty… self-directed.”
“Men say a lot of things.” She huffed. “Look, ordinarily, I’d say that if you like it there in Seattle, and you’re enjoying this relationship, stay another three months. What could it hurt? But I think you know this Rome opportunity is rare, or you wouldn’t be so tempted by it. Correct?”
He thought about that. “True. But it’s not just Rome. It’s the fact that I was supposed to leave in September. That was the plan. My house-sitting gig is up then.”
“You could live with this Brent for a while, couldn’t you?”
River tensed up. “I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to mooch off him and lead him on, make him think it’s serious, then bug out.”
No, that was his mother’s MO. Brent didn’t deserve that.
His mother was quiet for a minute. When she spoke her voice was dull, like she’d lost interest. “Well, you’ll figure it out. You always do. Just let me know if you’ll be in Rome, hmm? I would like to see you, lambchop.”
River felt disappointed. But that wasn’t exactly a new feeling when it came to his mother. “Yeah. That’d be great.”
“And it’s only the start of July. You still have the rest of the summer in Seattle. By the time that’s up, you’ll be dying to get back on the road!”
She had a point. He still had the summer.
“Just remember. We’re not like normal people, River. Stuck in some horrid small town, never seeing or doing anything, bound to a relationship long after it has any spark of life in it. That’s your grandparents. Your dad. Not you and me. We’re dandelion puffs, floating wherever the breeze takes us, light as a feather. Rome, darling! Look at all the exciting things ahead of you. There’s no reason to feel blue. I hope to see you there. Kisses. Gotta go.”
After he hung up, River sat and watched the city lights for a long time, until the nightly breeze had turned frigid. He went to reach for his phone and realized it was still in his hand. The time said 10:00 p.m. Not too late. He placed the call.
“Harrison? It’s River. I’m in. We’re going to Rome.”
Chapter 25
Brent
Brent opened his eyes to see a spill of gold hair on the pillow next to him. A cold nose poked his back through the covers. He smiled and turned his head.
“Yes, good morning, Lily.”
She barked, an urgent sound, and wagged her tail madly.
Brent nudged River’s leg. “Hey. Someone has to go out.”
River gave a groan, which told Brent he’d already been awake. He sat up, covers falling to his waist, and stretched.
Brent gave a little hum of contentment. He would never have imagined he’d be here, with two dogs staring at him from beside the bed and a gorgeous young man sleep-warmed next to him. He was so grateful. He was a lucky guy.
He leaned over to kiss River’s bicep, then shoulder.
River quirked an eyebrow at him. “You always wake up so happy.”
“Not always,” Brent said, thinking of darker days.
River smiled at the implied compliment and got up. He was exuberantly, delightfully nude, his cock a little plump with morning wood. Then he tugged on a pair of sweatpants, which was a shame, really.
“Come on, you savage beasts.” He left the room, Lily bounding after him and Beauchamp waddling as fast as his little legs would take him.
“Mmm.” Brent flopped back on the bed and folded his arms behind his head. He spread out his legs like he was making a snow angel, just because he could. The warmth that lingered in the sheets from River’s body gave him a little thrill.
Lily and Beauchamp had taken to Brent’s house with nary a doggie grumble. Within an hour on their first visit, Beauchamp had been asleep on the old Indian blanket Brent spread out on the couch, his tongue sticking out adorably. Lily had settled at River’s feet on the deck as he worked, her head on his foot. Clearly, she’d missed him during the days.
It was so obviously better for them to be at Brent’s house that River never brought up doubts again. They’d spent the whole of last weekend at Brent’s house with the dogs. River had introduced Brent to the dog-park experience. They’d walked the pooches around his neighborhood too. It was very couple-y, and Brent loved it. When some of his neighbors did a double-take, he just waved and called hello.
River came back into the bedroom, the dogs padding after him, looking much more relaxed. He was carrying two cups of coffee from the espresso maker downstairs. He handed Brent his, made with oat milk, just the way he liked it. River sat on the edge of the bed carefully with his own cup so as not to spill. “So what’s up for today?”
“I’m meeting the contractor at the cafe to go over the remodel specs. He thinks he can have it done in two weeks. I can’t wait to see it.”
“That’s fantastic.”
“Good thing too. August thirty-first will be here before we know it. And the invitations to the grand opening are being printed next week. After that, we can’t push it back even if we want to.”
“Um,” River agreed, sipping his coffee.
“Why don’t you go over there with me? When I’m done, we can take the dogs to the park.”
River glanced away. “That’s okay. I need to get the first batch of test recipes off to Rene this morning.”
Brent sat up and brushed River’s hair off his shoulder. “How long will that take? I don’t meet the contractor till eleven. Can you be done by then? Or you can finish it up when we get back from the park.”
River gave Brent a look he didn’t know how to interpret. “Aren’t you sick of me yet? Or, if not of me, of Lily and Beauchamp?”
Brent laughed. “Never. Anyway, it’s Saturday. I just thought it would be nice to go to Discovery Park and take a little walk. I hate that our entire weekend is about work.”
“Well, that’s what happens when you’re opening a cafe in seven weeks.”
“I know. But we’re on schedule. No need to kill ourselves.” He kissed River’s shoulder.
River sighed. “Okay. I should be able to finish up what I need to do this morning.”
By one o’clock, they were walking high up on a seaside trail at Discovery Park. The July day was a little too warm for Beauchamp. He walked along enthusiastically at first, but by the time they’d gone a mile, he just wanted to find a spot of shade and lie in it, panting hard.
“I’m sorry.” River squatted down to give Beauchamp some water. “He really doesn’t go far. We should have
left him at home.”
At home. Brent liked the sound of that.
“No worries. It’s just nice to be out. There’s a bench over there in the shade.”
They coaxed Beauchamp to the bench, where he promptly fell asleep under Brent’s outstretched legs. Lily sat watching birds with avid fascination. The day was mostly cloudy and unusually muggy, but spots of blue appeared here and there in the sky.
Brent put his arm behind River on the bench, feeling very comfortable with everything. Just… everything in his life right now.
“So how does the grand opening work?” River asked. “Do you just put out a sign and open the doors to the public?”
“No.” Brent’s hand found its way to River’s shoulder and his thumb traced River’s ear. “It’s a Big Fucking Deal. We’ll invite the press, food critics, restaurant people I know. All the AJC staff who aren’t working that day. I want to make it a company-wide celebration. This store is something special, and it deserves to have a true launch.”
River smiled. “It’s going to be surreal to see it actually open and serving real customers after all the time we’ve spent thinking about it. Watching you make this happen—it’s been impressive, Brent McKay.”
The compliment sank into Brent like a warm hug. He wanted to impress River, wanted him to see he wasn’t just the depressed basket case he’d been when they’d met. “It helps to have a great partner.”
River licked his lips, something hesitant in his eyes. He looked as if he was going to say something, but he didn’t. He just leaned back against Brent’s arm and gazed out over the Sound.
On the drive home, Brent said, “I need to stop by the First Hill branch. Justin had a question about a supplier. Do you mind?”
“No problem.”
Brent found a parking spot in the shade not far from the store. When he stopped the car, River said, “Maddy’s probably working today. I haven’t had a chance to thank her in person for house-sitting for me. Crack the windows a few inches for the dogs, and I’ll go in.”
Brent put the back windows down a few inches, and they left Lily and Beauchamp snoozing.
The First Hill AJC was quiet when they walked in. There were a dozen patrons, all seated and looking at phones or laptops. Justin was at the register. Maddy and a new girl were at the coffee station.
“Hey, Mr. McKay!” Justin called out. His gaze darted to River as he walked over to Maddy, and a frown appeared between his brows.
Brent went up to the register. “Hey, Justin. I got your email about Rainier Foods.”
Justin grimaced. “Yeah, um, they’ve been weird lately. Like, some days they’ll make a delivery and then, like last week, there were three days when they just didn’t show up. When they do deliver, the milk smells off.”
“Off, how?”
“C’mere. I’ll show you.”
Justin moved behind the counter to the coffee station. Brent followed along on the customer side till he was standing next to River. Justin opened one of the under-counter fridges and pulled out a carton of whole milk, opened it.
“Smell this,” he said, turning. He froze, a look of shock on his face. Maddy’s mouth fell open.
For a second, Brent couldn’t figure out why they were staring at him. Then he realized that he’d done what came naturally whenever he was near River. He’d put an arm around him, hand on the back of his neck.
River stared straight ahead, his expression neutral, but he tensed under Brent’s hand.
Brent chuckled. “Yeah. Um… didn’t mean to spring it on you. But River and I are dating.” He moved his hand down to River’s shoulder and squeezed, looking at him with affection.
River looked at him and smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Brent felt a ping of doubt. He probably should have checked with River first. River had worked with Maddy and Justin, after all. They were his friends.
“Oh, wow. I mean… congratulations, Mr. McKay,” Maddy stammered.
Justin just stood there, his face red, holding the carton of milk.
Brent took a step away from River and held out his hand. Justin looked at him blankly. There was something like hurt in his eyes.
“Justin? The milk?”
“Oh.” Justin thrust the milk carton out.
Brent took it, opened it, and sniffed. It definitely seemed strange. Smelled like garlic.
He held it out to River. “What do you smell?”
River took it and sniffed it. “Garlic.”
Brent sniffed it again and nodded. “Good nose. Maybe some of their herd got into garlic plants. Or maybe it’s in their storage tanks. And they’ve been unreliable too?” he asked Justin.
Justin nodded, his face now very red. The rosy flush clashed with his orange-red hair. “Very. I’ve, um, had to go get stuff at the supermarket.”
“Okay. I’ll call my contact at the distributor. If they can’t clean up their act quickly, I’ll find someone else. Thanks for calling it to my attention.”
Justin nodded dumbly as Brent handed back the carton.
“Was there anything else?”
Justin’s gaze flickered to River. “Nah. Wouldn’t want to bother you. Guess you’re pretty tied up with the, um, new cafe.”
He sounded resentful, and Brent felt lost. He’d obviously missed something in the dynamic here. But the thought just made him feel stubborn. He was the goddamn owner. If Justin didn’t like him dating River, that was his problem, and he could keep it to himself.
“Yes, River and I are both busy getting Harmony Tree Cafe ready to launch,” Brent said tersely. “But if you need something, email or text me. As usual.”
They said their goodbyes, which were awkward, and got back in the car.
River was quiet as Brent drove over Capitol Hill and headed down toward Madrona. The tension in his body, the grim set of his face, was new. He was angry. Brent had never seen River angry. He was normally such a chill guy. It scared Brent.
“Hey. I’m sorry if I was out of line. I should have asked you if you minded me outing us as a couple to Justin and Maddy. That was inconsiderate.”
River looked at him finally, his eyes snapping. “It’s not about me, Brent. It’s about you. You just came out to your entire staff. Justin will tell all your managers. You might as well have hired a skywriter.”
Brent blinked and focused on the road. “Okay. Well. I don’t care if people know I’m bisexual. I don’t have anything to hide.”
“And yeah, you told them you were dating me. Which is a really big….” River stopped, his hands clenched in his lap.
“Really big what?”
River frowned and didn’t answer.
Shit, Brent couldn’t have this conversation while driving. He made a quick left and drove a few blocks to a small park. He pulled into a parking space and shut off the car.
Brent felt a twinge of dread that was far deeper than he wanted to admit. River had been a little distant this week. There’d been times when Brent thought he was holding back. But then again, he’d spent most of his time at Brent’s house, and their tantric sex continued to be incredible. River had to feel the connection between them, right?
“Do you not want this?” he asked, his voice rough. “I guess I’m old-fashioned. I figured I should treat you the way I would treat anyone who was important in my life. The way I’d be with a woman I was seeing. Is that wrong? I’m not ashamed of you. Of us. I’m proud to be with you.”
River was quiet for a moment, looking down at his hands.
“Am I crowding you? Am I…” He sighed. “Am I being overbearing?”
River shook his head. He let out a long sigh. “No. No, you’re great, and I love being with you. I’m sorry I got angry. I guess I’m worried about you. For you. We haven’t discussed it for a while, but… you remember I’m leaving in September, right? So I’m not sure how much you want to let everyone know about this relationship when it has a definite shelf life.”
Brent’s heart plummeted and cold seeped through
his veins. “Oh.”
He looked out the window at the green park. A mom pushed a little girl of about three on a swing set. There was a lump in his throat that felt too familiar from days gone past, days when grief had been a constant companion. “I know you said that a while ago. But I thought… thought you might decide to stay. You could manage Harmony Tree. Or not. Whatever you want.”
“I’ve already made plans, Brent.” River gave him a firm look. It was not unkind, but it left no room for argument either. “I’ve arranged a place to stay and signed up for classes. I’m going to Rome with a friend. It’s all set.”
“Oh. Okay. I see.” Brent didn’t know what to say. He felt crushed, stupidly so. He’d always known River was just passing through. But he’d let himself forget, to believe that them getting together would change things, that it would mean as much to River as it meant to him. As if his magic penis would make River forever devoted. Stupid.
Brent’s eyes stung, and he swallowed down bile.
River’s face softened, and he reached over and rubbed Brent’s arm. “I’m sorry.” His voice was rough and filled with regret, as if he really was sorry.
Brent just nodded.
“Hey. We’ve still got the rest of the summer. I told my friend I couldn’t leave until September twenty-fifth, so that we’d have more time together. And we’ve got a cafe to open. Do you think we could just enjoy being together for the time we have? I’d really like that.”
He cupped Brent’s neck, tugging him a little, and Brent willingly leaned over the console for a hug. He held River close, burying his nose in River’s neck.
At least River wasn’t pushing him away right now. It wasn’t over. Everything was all right. He’d been too clingy, that was all. Even as inexperienced at dating as he was, he knew that was the worst thing you could do, smother someone. He was gaga over River, but he had to cool it.
River was going to leave—he’d always been going to leave. Brent could be okay with that. He had to be okay with it. He didn’t own the guy. River was a free spirit. Wasn’t that one of the things that made him so appealing? You couldn’t change someone. Brent knew that.
