Envy

by Katie May

  Well...

  Screaming at the top of their lungs that they found Zara dead did not bode well for them.

  In a span of seconds, I felt tantalizingly light fingers brush my hair, the palm of his hand curving around my cheek. He let out a broken sob, burrowing his face into my neck. I wanted to tell Ryland that I was still alive, still breathing, but the words got stuck in my throat. I couldn't even blink anymore, my eyes trapped in a perpetual state of awkward staring.

  "Give her to me!" a different voice growled. I recognized it, but I had never heard it like that before. Raspy, almost. Distorted with a guttural growl. Ryland hissed something indecipherable before I felt my body being lifted.

  Felt. The irony of that term.

  Bash stroked my hair rapidly, repeatedly, his hand trembling with each desperate movement. I wanted to yell at him to stop. My body, if I had been in control of it, would've tensed.

  It was all fine and dandy to act like you actually gave a shit about somebody when you thought they were dead. Despite the whispers of love, I couldn't stop thinking about his hand in Cassie's as she pulled him away. What had they done? Where had they gone? I knew I wouldn't like the answers to either of those questions.

  Still, I allowed myself to be held by him. To pretend that he actually cared about me, maybe even loved me. But with any fairytale, there was always a catch. The clock striking twelve and turning the prince into a frog - or however that story went.

  "She's still alive!" The new voice sent tremors of relief down my spine.

  Killian.

  My body hummed as he approached, and soon his face was leaning over mine. Red garnet strands of hair interwoven with dark brown brushed my face. There were still tiny pieces of stone clinging to his body and hair, but he was whole. He was alive.

  Cheeks flushed, he smiled down at me.

  "You hear me, sweetheart?" he questioned. I didn't know what he expected me to do. Blink twice for yes?

  Oh wait. I couldn't fucking blink.

  "It's venom from the snake bites," added Lupe, jogging to stand beside us. I couldn't see him, but I could feel his presence seeping into my bones.

  "What can we do?" Bash asked desperately. His hand continued to trace my features - across my nose, the seams that connected my lips, my eyebrows. I imagined it would feel very good, comforting and relaxing, if I could actually feel his touch.

  "Just wait," Lupe said. "When I was researching Fae and Revenants, I came across a whole list of extinct supernatural creatures. I remember reading about Gorgons. Their venom paralyzes a human, but only for twenty-four hours."

  Twenty-four hours! He better have been fucking joking.

  "When the she-bitch died, it released us from our stone prisons," he added.

  “Back up a second. A Gorgon?” Bash asked in alarm.

  “She was sent by Aaliyah apparently.” Dair. “I couldn’t hear the entire conversation, but I got the gist of it. Aaliyah gave the Gorgon life in exchange for Z.”

  “Fuck!” That exclamation came from Ryland.

  Fuck was a vast understatement.

  My vision was jostled as I was carried through a door - a separate entrance than the one that led back into the ballroom. All I was aware of was the ceiling. A rather pretty ceiling, if you asked me. Golden trim, intricately carved designs, and wooden panes.

  A door opened and closed, and I was dropped onto something. A bed, more than likely. My bed.

  I could hear my men settling around me. A few curled up by my feet, one went above my head, and one went on either side. With the way my head was facing, I could clearly see Bash crawling into bed directly beside me. His face was worshipful as he stared at me, eyes grazing my features with a reverence that made my throat close. He curled up against me, hand wrapping around my waist.

  With a quick glance in both directions, as if assuring no one was watching, Bash leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose. The chaste gesture made my heart stop before restarting with a vengeance.

  And so I began the long, excruciating wait.

  MY TOES WIGGLED FIRST.

  Then my hands.

  Pinpricks raced up and down my arms, thousands of needles grazing the skin. The feeling wasn't entirely unpleasant. It reminded me that I could feel. That I was alive.

  And then my head could move. My lips opening and closing, my eyes blinking rapidly, my neck craning from side to side.

  My mates had fallen asleep around me, and I took the moment to survey them. Bash still slept beside me, but in sleep, he looked like an entirely different man. Peaceful. The stress of his position as a prince and a powerful Mage diminished when he slept. His face appeared as if it was carved from marble, and his lashes feathered against his high cheekbones like twigs of ebony. His breathing was steady, sawing in and out.

  Turning, being careful not to remove the arm around my waist, I stared down at my feet. Lupe was clutching one of my feet in his sleep desperately, as if he was afraid that removing his hand would be letting me go.

  Silly boy. Didn't he know that I wasn't going anywhere?

  That realization took me by surprise. I didn't know how to deal with it, so I did what I did best. Bury it in the sand to uncover at a later time.

  Devlin and Killian were on the opposite side of my feet. Devlin was clutching my foot as if it was his favorite stuffed animal, and Killian was curled around Devlin. Aww. Killian was a cuddler. It was too adorable.

  I wished I could take a picture or something to remember that moment.

  Jax was draped over my head, face inside my hair. I canted my head backwards, smiling softly when Jax muttered something indecipherable, inhaling deeply. I could've been mistaken, but it almost sounded like my name.

  Finally, I turned in my bed, meeting Dair's bright blue gaze.

  "You're awake," I whispered accusingly. He smiled, blinding me with his white teeth.

  "I've been awake for awhile," he replied. He scooted closer to me so we were nose to nose in the large bed. His golden skin was peppered with freckles from all the time he spent out in the sun. Irrationally, I wanted to stay in bed and count each and every one of them. I wondered if he had more on his body, and the thought sent a thrill straight between my thighs.

  "Why haven't you moved?" I asked softly. As if it had a mind of its own, my hand lifted and began to lightly trace his features. His skin was smooth, velvety, beneath my hand.

  "I like watching you sleep," he replied unashamedly.

  "Creeper." My hand caught on a shard of stone, and I tugged it out of his hair distastefully. "How do you feel?"

  He chuckled. "Shouldn't I be asking you that? You were the one who was paralyzed."

  "Yes, but you were the one who was turned into stone." I laughed, quickly smothering it with the back of my hand before the sound could carry. "Are we going to start comparing tragedies? Declaring winners?"

  He laughed as well. "I would rather not."

  "Good. Me neither." My breathing hitched as his eyes lowered to my lips. We were so close, so painfully close, that all it would take was one inch of movement and we would be kissing. I wanted to taste him, to decide whether or not his lips tasted as salty as his skin. "And in answer to your question, I'm fine."

  "Me too," he whispered.

  And then our lips met, and we were exchanging the lightest, most innocent kisses imaginable. Our lips moved over one another's as if they were meant to do exactly that. It was the sweetest kiss I had ever experienced before in my life.

  He pulled away with a simple peck to the corner of my mouth. His eyes were alive, brightening with exhilaration and awe.

  "I love you," he whispered. Another kiss was planted on my cheek. "I love you." His lips touched my jawline before moving lower. Tiny kisses were trailed down my neck, each one accompanied by a declaration of love. I raised my chin to grant him better access. "I love you."

  "Dair," I whispered breathlessly. "I-"

  Before I could finish my sentence, a startled yelp came from by my fe
et. I turned, amused, just in time to see Devlin jumping up as if his ass was on fire. He was throwing daggers with his eyes at Killian who looked sheepish.

  "Sorry," Killian murmured.

  "Your fucking cock was against my asshole!" Devlin yelled in horror. His hands reached for his butt as if he was protecting it from phantom cock. "I felt it. Why the fuck are you that hard?"

  "I'm always hard," my Incubus protested indignantly.

  "Awww, Devlin, do you not want a dick in your ass? There goes my plan for pegging," I teased lightly, and his violet eyes snapped to mine. Relief shuttered over his expression as he practically climbed over Lupe to get to me. He peppered my face with kisses, seemingly oblivious or choosing to ignore Dair still kissing my neck.

  "You damn, stupid girl. Don't you ever fucking scare me like that again."

  "Us," a soft voice corrected. I stared over Devlin's shoulder at Ryland, who was standing in the corner of the room. The shadows obscured his face from view once more. “Don’t ever scare us like that again.”

  Why the fuck was he all the way over there?

  "Us. Me. Whatever. Don't do that shit again." Devlin accentuated the final statement with a bruising kiss to my lips. There was no doubt that they would become swollen.

  "Yes, sir," I whispered, and his eyes darkened. Oh yes. Devlin liked that.

  "I thought you were fucking dead," Bash croaked from beside me. His hair was sleep-mussed, bags still evident beneath his eyes, but his smile was luminescent. He interlocked his fingers with mine, but I immediately pulled away. Hurt flashed in his eyes, briefly, before that was replaced by icy indifference. Without a word, he pushed back the blankets and stormed out of bed. My traitorous eyes automatically latched onto his ass looking especially delectable in his boxer briefs.

  Damn eyes.

  And damn heart crying for him to come back.

  "I'm sorry," Killian blurted, drawing my attention back to him. He was now standing at the foot of my bed, eyes trained intently on me. He was shaking, I realized somewhat distantly. His body shook with tremors, and tears filled his eyes. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, Z. I'm a horrible, shitty mate. I stupidly thought...I just don't...I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."

  I moved my eyes away from Killian's, briefly, to meet Devlin's stare. He gave me a small nod to show me he understood.

  "Why don't we give them a moment?" he suggested, and my other mates reluctantly moved out of my bed. Lupe, Dair, and Devlin each gave me a final kiss. Jax merely sniffed my chest, no surprise, but Ryland refused to even acknowledge me as he glided out of the door.

  What the hell was that about?

  Ryland was momentarily forgotten when Lupe picked up Dair and held him like he was a baby.

  "This is humiliating," Dair murmured beneath his breath. Of course, that seemed to be permission for Lupe to baby talk Dair as they exited the room. I heard statements like "Do you need your diaper wiper changed?" and "Does little Dairy need a nappy wappy?"

  I snorted out a laugh, but that laughter died in my throat when I took stock of Killian. Shirtless. His tattoos and muscles on display, so delectable that I had to restrain myself from licking a pathway across his glorious skin.

  For the first time that I could remember, I was locked in a room with my Incubus Prince.

  TWENTY

  KILLIAN

  I watched her crawl to her knees on the bed, her glorious blond hair trailing behind her like liquid gold. In her form-fitting blue dress, she was a sight to behold. Something ethereal that I sought to worship and love until the end of time.

  Anxiously, I pulled my lower lip between my teeth. Why did it make me so nervous to be around Z, my mate? It wasn’t just because she was beautiful, though that could've been one of the many reasons, but because she was able to see me. Not the me the rest of the world saw and revered, but the me I reserved solely for my brothers.

  And it scared the shit out of me.

  That transparency...it shouldn’t have been normal. I had never felt more vulnerable than I did in her eyes, stripped bare of all masks.

  “What’s wrong, Kill?” she asked, nibbling on her lower lip. I couldn’t help but smirk at the nervous gesture she displayed - a mirror image of my own. She realized it at the same time I did and released her lip, smiling. “Oops.”

  I forked my trembling fingers through my tousled red hair, my agitation physically manifesting itself. All I could see, repeatedly, was Z’s body falling to the ground. The Gorgon carelessly tossing her over its shoulder. The fight draining from her eyes, bleeding dry...

  I shuddered at the images, the feelings they evoked within me. I never wanted to feel that helpless again. Being able to see and hear everything, unable to step in, was torture.

  “I want you to train me,” I blurted. She paused, mouth partially opened as if she was going to say something. At my words, her mouth slammed shut and her eyes widened.

  “Train?”

  “Yes.” I nodded my head. The more I thought about it, the more sure I was. Never again did I want to sit on the sidelines. To be a mere witness in our fucked up world of predators and prey. “To fight.”

  When she continued to stare at me blankly, I hurried to explain. To some, my decision may have come across as impulsive, but I knew Z would understand. She had to. “When we were...frozen...” My voice wobbled over that one word. Frozen. Entrapped. I could still feel my body weighed down by cement. Clearing my throat, I continued doggedly. Z didn’t laugh as my stutter became more pronounced - something that always occurred when I felt a strong emotion.

  “When we were frozen,” I repeated, “we were able to see everything. We watched you come into the garden, but we were helpless to warn you.”

  My jaw clenched almost painfully at the memory. I had tried to scream at her, but the words became lost. All I could do was watch...

  “The others, at least, were faced away. They didn’t have to see you...they didn’t see you get attacked. They didn’t see your body...”

  I began to pace as if that could somehow quell the tension reverberating through me. My fingernails dug into my biceps, and I impatiently scratched at the skin.

  “Kill,” she said softly. Sweetly. It was a tone of voice I imagined she wouldn’t use with anyone else, only me. At first, I felt a rush of exhilaration and a strange sense of giddiness. That dissipated just as quickly.

  She had to treat me with kid gloves because she thought I was weaker.

  Still, I couldn’t resist grabbing the hand she proffered. Immediately, I fell face first onto the bed, and her small body wrapped around mine. I ended up with my head beneath her chin, and her hand lightly stroking my arm.

  God, I could die in her embrace.

  I loved her.

  I loved her so damn much that it sometimes hurt to breathe.

  It wasn’t a surprise for me, this revelation. Not really. A part of me had always known it, had known it from the very first time she had protected me. When I had compared her hair to food.

  I twirled a piece of her hair around my finger, smiling gently. Definitely spaghetti hair.

  “So you want to fight?” Z asked, breaking the silence we had grown accustomed to. I tensed immediately in her arms before willing my body to relax. She wasn’t like my father. She wouldn’t laugh at me or reprimand me or talk down to me.

  “I want to protect you,” I admitted earnestly.

  Snorting, she tapped her finger against my chin, tilting my head up. I lost myself in her gaze, the heat and love emitting from her. Her pink lips twitched slightly, but it wasn’t in laughter. It almost seemed to be...approval.

  “I can take care of myself,” she said. “But I agree. I think you all should learn how to fight...but not to take care of me.” This time, her sigh was resigned. “There’s more to the world than me, Killian. I want you guys to protect yourselves, to live life to its fullest, you know?”

  I was silent for a long moment, but not because I was ignoring her. Instead, I processed her wor
ds.

  She seemed to severely underestimate how much she meant to me and my brothers. The second we had discovered the mate bond between us, she had become our entire world. I knew for certain that I could never go back to the shy, timid boy I was before I met her.

  “I don’t know who I am without you,” I admitted, and I could feel her body stiffen beneath mine. I cut her off before she could protest. “I said that wrong. I’ve changed since I met you. We all have. You make us better - better versions of ourselves, you could say. Not one of us wants to go back to the person we were before. Z, you may hate to know this, but you’re our world now. I didn’t know the mate bond could feel like this...feel this right. I want to love you. And hold you. And fuck you senseless. And-“

  “You want to fuck me senseless?” Z breathed, and I stilled. That was what she focused on?

  And then I realized what I had said, what I had admitted to, and panic raced down my veins.

  Abort mission! Abort!

  “Fuck is such a crude term,” I stuttered out.

  She propped herself onto an elbow, the gesture knocking me onto my back. Her golden hair provided a shield between us and the outside world.

  “So you don’t want to fuck me?” she asked innocently, batting those damn eyelashes of hers.

  I immediately began to backtrack.

  “Of course I want to fuck you! I want to do a lot of things to you. Why would you think that I don’t want to? And-“ I broke off when I saw the mirth dancing in her eyes. “You’re teasing me, aren’t you?”

  She pinched her thumb and pointer finger together. “Just a bit.”

  “Just a bit?” My hands flexed on her sides, tightening before releasing. “That’s not nice.”

  “Haven’t you heard?” She sprawled onto her back, and I crawled over her. The move found my legs on either side of her thighs and my hands near her head. “I’m not a nice person.”

  Her chest rose and fell, lust coloring her cheeks.

  And we almost lost her today. I almost lost her. The mere thought had me wrapping her spaghetti hair around my finger once more.