Envy

by Katie May

I had to be grateful that she and my brothers were alive.

  “Are you ready to get your head out of your ass?” she asked lightly, and I nodded.

  “You are welcome to have your head in my ass anytime you desire,” I responded.

  She snorted.

  “You might think that’s sexy, but the last thing I want to be privy to is your man farts.”

  “Man farts?” I brought my hand to my chest in mock horror. “I’ll have you know that that’s sexist. My farts smell like daisies.”

  “Why are we talking about farts when I was thinking about kissing you?” she mused, tapping her finger to her chin.

  “Wait? Kissing?”

  “Not anymore.” She laughed, the sound misting away the last of my doubts. “Now, are you coming with us?”

  I gestured towards the swords hanging from my back.

  “No,” I drawled languidly. “I just carry around swords wherever I go.”

  Her lips tilted up, and she leaned forward to whisper conspiratorially in my ear. “I wouldn’t blame you. I do.”

  Did it make me a psychopath to get slightly turned on by her proclamation?

  With a sultry smirk, she pressed a kiss to my cheek and raced out my door.

  TWENTY-THREE

  JAX

  She was leaving me.

  Leaving.

  Leaving.

  The crisp white walls seemed to be closing in on me, surrounding me, suffocating me. To my horror, the framed pictures adorning the hallway walls changed and contorted. A landscape of flowery hills transformed into gallows, a young woman hanging precariously from the rope around her neck.

  Her blonde curls and beautiful face was unmistakable, even in death.

  A sob caught in my throat as I stared at the portrait of my beautiful mate. My beautiful, dead mate.

  Death.

  It followed me around constantly, an ominous cloud hovering just above my head, threatening to release a torrent of heavy rainfall.

  Death. Death. Death.

  Around the picture, blood cascaded down the pristine white walls in rivulets. They puddled on the wooden floorboards.

  Death. Death. Death.

  My hand fisted in my hair, pulling to the point of pain. I knew that more than one strand of blond hair broke free each time I pulled.

  I took a deep breath, trying to ease the tightness in my chest. It pressed down on me like a weight I couldn’t quite carry but wasn’t heavy enough to kill me. It just sat there, mildly uncomfortable.

  Death.

  Death.

  Death.

  The blood on the floor rose from the ground, as if pulled by an unseen force, and molded itself into the shape of a person. First the small body, then the glasses, then the flowing hair.

  Her presence stabbed me, gutted me. I couldn’t look away as she took one step closer and then another.

  “You did this to me.” Her voice was the sweet one I remembered, though I hadn’t heard it often. Once or twice, maybe, but my memories of that time were foggy. “Why did you do this?”

  “Sasha, I’m sorry,” I sobbed. My back hit the wall, and my feet gave out. Crumbling to the ground, I held my head in my hands. Pain slammed into me with the force of a meteor. It burned me on impact.

  “You did this,” Sasha repeated. Her gaze was accusatory, lips parted in a silent scream. Anguish. It emitted from every pore of her little body. “You did this to me.”

  My mind staggered back in time, recalling memories I had tried to keep buried.

  A young Sasha looking at me as if I held the moon.

  My fangs piercing her neck.

  And then...

  A cry escaped me, a pathetic, whining sound.

  Still, Sasha did not stop her advancements. She stood directly in front of me, her body of blood swishing with each step she took. A bloody hand reached out to caress my cheek, and I knew it would leave a handprint.

  “You’re going to kill her too,” she whispered, eyes flickering towards the painted picture. It had changed once more. Instead of gallows, it showed the blonde haired female lying on the ground. Her unseeing eyes focused on me.

  Me.

  Death.

  “No,” I whispered, unable to tear my gaze away from the bloody wounds on her neck. The product of fangs, my fangs. “I wouldn’t hurt her.”

  “You would,” Sasha insisted in that same, airy voice. “And you’re going to.”

  “No!”

  I straightened, shoving at her small body in my attempt to escape. I felt my body tilting, falling, before I hit the ground with a resonating slap. Pain darted down my legs.

  “No.” I shook my head once. “Never.”

  I needed to see her. I needed to see with my own eyes that she was okay and safe.

  Pushing myself back to my feet, I began to move down the long hallway.

  Behind me, Sasha’s laugh carried.

  Mate. Where was my mate?

  I found myself in front of a familiar door, and I pushed it open without preamble.

  My desperation ebbed when I noted how empty the room was. I tried to feel her, sense her presence. My skin no longer prickled as it usually did when she was around.

  Did that mean...?

  Another anguished cry escaped me as I sunk to my knees. Tears ran down my face, but I couldn’t find the motivation or even the desire to brush them away.

  Loneliness swamped me. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before, a tsunami that I couldn’t escape from.

  She had left me.

  She had left me all alone.

  Alone.

  I was alone.

  There was nothing else to do, nothing else to say.

  Around me, the walls began to laugh, the noise taunting. Somewhere in the twinkling cacophony, Sasha’s laughter echoed.

  Alone.

  Alone.

  The walls whispered it to me.

  I curled into a ball, placing my hands over my ears to block out the onslaught of noise. Too much. Too much.

  Death.

  Alone.

  Always alone.

  What was left besides waiting for death to find me?

  TWENTY-FOUR

  Z

  I blew out an irritated breath, staring through the window of our transport. Dair’s knee touched mine as he gently wrapped an arm around me.

  “He’s fine,” he assured me for what felt like the billionth time.

  “It just makes me worried.”

  Before we had left, I had searched and rounded up the majority of my mates. Except for Jax. The Vampire had been suspiciously missing, and no matter where I looked, I couldn’t find him. Dair had promised me that the eccentric man was no doubt hiding in the walls or beneath a bed, but fear niggled me.

  Still, we were out of options. With one last reluctant look at the Capital, I had slid into the car.

  Now, we were curving up steep roads and hills on our way to the Mermaid Kingdom. The first kingdom I had ever traveled to.

  Living in the human communities, just on the outskirts of the Capital, felt like living in a war zone. A sect of land breeding slaves and food. There had been little to no electricity, the houses had been in disarray, and the people had been either cold or crazy.

  Despite my mission, I felt myself bounce in my seat, eager to see all this world had to offer.

  “You’re talking about the Vampire, right?” one of the twins asked. I still couldn’t recall his name. His hair was slightly darker than Dair’s, and his eyes were a blue-green color. Turning towards Dair, he flashed a malicious smirk. “How does it feel to know your mate shares a bed with another man? Or...more than one man.” He tittered, his twin joining in. Turning towards me, he asked, “Doesn’t that make you a slut?”

  When Dair’s face flushed red, hands clenching, I put a placating hand on his shoulder to calm him. I could handle a bunch of bullies.

  Leaning over Dair, I flashed Twin One a sultry smile. “Yes,” I answered breezily. “It does.”

&n
bsp; Twin One and Twin Two sputtered, not expecting me to agree with them, while Dair choked on a laugh. Tightening his arm around my shoulder, he pulled me into his side, lips caressing the top of my head.

  It seemed that my presence helped abate the tension constantly thrumming through him.

  Tavvy glanced back from where he sat in the passenger seat, beside a driver I wasn’t given the name of. His blue eyes were fixated on the sliver of space between my body and Dair’s, brows furrowing. When he spotted me looking, his expression smoothed over to be replaced by icy indifference.

  Fate really hated me. For some reason, it had chosen my car buddies to be the princes from hell. At least I had snagged Dair before the car took off. The last thing I wanted to be was alone with three men who looked at me with predatory, carnal hunger.

  Ryland, Lupe, and Bash rode in the car behind us, the latter of which had been sullen and moodier than normal. He had gifted me with a glare when he had arrived, suitcase swung over his shoulder. I had canted my hip to the side.

  “What are you doing here, Bash?” I had asked curtly. His lips had pressed into a thin line, but he didn’t automatically respond. He seemed to have been choosing his words carefully.

  I had waited, silence stretching, before he had turned on his heel and stomped towards the second car.

  The whole weird exchange had lasted only a few minutes, though it had felt like a year.

  Devlin had to stay behind. Something with his father, he had stated, though the details hadn’t been explicitly given. Killian had also stayed behind at the Capital after completely devouring my lips and cupping my ass.

  His cheeks flushed - though I couldn’t discern if it was from embarrassment or lust - he had made me promise to contact him if I ran into any trouble. Killian didn’t feel right leaving Jax alone, and I had never loved my Incubus as much as I did at that moment.

  Wait...love? No.

  Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I glanced once more out the window.

  The sight was something to behold, something you would see in an intricately crafted painting. There were rocky, russet-colored cliffs falling into a turbulent sea. The water itself was frothy in appearance, white foam cresting the shoreline. From our perch high above the ocean, I could see dozens and dozens of tiny islands. Some were small, barely capable of hosting one house, while others were large and sheathed in green tapestries.

  My mouth dropped open as complete and utter awe filled me. This place...it was stunning.

  Dair chuckled as he took in my expression eagerly, devouring it. His arm tightened around my shoulders almost imperceptibly.

  “You see that island?” Dair asked softly, pointing towards a particularly small one floating in the violent sea. There was nothing on it besides a single tree and a wooden hut.

  “Yes.”

  “My mom used to live there,” he explained. “With her parents and mate. When my father chose her as a bride and my grandparents died, she kept the house. Said it helped her feel connected to what she once had.”

  It felt odd to be having this intimate conversation in front of an audience, but if Dair wasn’t bothered by it, I wasn’t going to be either.

  I turned fully in his arms, so I could see his expression easier. His blue eyes were wistful, trained on the splotch of green land. There was so much tenderness in his face as he reflected on his family home.

  “She used to take me there a lot,” he continued. “When I needed an escape. When I was having a bad day. When I...” he broke off, nuzzling my neck with his nose. I thought of younger Dair, then. Wide-eyed and innocent, without the weight of the world pressing down on his shoulders.

  “When you lost your legs,” I finished for him, and he nodded, the gesture something I felt rather than saw. I ran a gentle hand through his golden blond hair, relishing in the way he shuddered beneath my touch.

  Once more, I felt a pair of eyes on me, but when I glanced in Tavvy’s direction, he was facing straight ahead. I wondered if I had imagined it, though my sixth sense warned me I hadn’t.

  And I always trusted my sixth sense.

  Unease unfurled in my gut, but I shoved it away. I would worry about Tavvy at a different time.

  “Is your mom there now?” I asked, still stroking Dair’s soft hair. It slid through my fingers like fine silk, the texture addicting.

  A dopey smile appeared on Dair’s face as he glanced up at me through his fringe of lashes.

  “Yes, with my sister.”

  “You have a sister?” I gasped in disbelief. It was times like that when I remembered I didn’t know everything about these men. I knew the big stuff, the life-altering stuff, but little details eluded me. With time, I would learn it all.

  Start with the big, end with the small.

  Dair went rigid beside me, eyes pleading with me to remain quiet. I glanced anxiously from the twins, whispering amongst themselves, to Tavvy.

  I nodded to tell Dair I understood while mentally recalling what I knew of his family. His mother had a mate, but she had been forced to leave him after being coveted by Dair’s father. His sister must’ve been his half-sister.

  Filing the information away for later, I glanced once more out the window just as we parked in front of a magnificent building.

  No, not a building. Not even a house.

  A castle.

  It was a tan color, the sun bleaching it white in more places than one. Tall pinnacles brushed the sky from various locations, each one a swirling point. Seashells bedecked the sides and roof. Somehow, it came across as more elegant than cheesy.

  “Shit,” I whispered, awe filling me.

  Ignoring my outburst, Tavvy swiveled in his seat to face me. “You’ll have your base of operations in here. Come.”

  Without waiting for my response, he slid out of the car and marched towards the front entrance. I exchanged an amused look with Dair at his brother’s pissy behavior before following him out.

  The front entrance was two large white doors, jewel-studded shells making up the handles. I almost didn’t want to touch something so beautiful, afraid that my own darkness would tarnish it.

  Fortunately, I didn’t need to touch anything. A guard rushed forward - where the fuck did he come from? - and gestured us through with a dramatic swooping motion. I nodded at him in response, stepping into what would serve as my home until I completed the mind numbing mission assigned by the Mermaid King.

  The inside was just as beautiful as the outside. The color combination, no surprise, was azure and white, heightened only by darker blue brush strokes. Numerous paintings of seashells and seahorses, fishes and starfish, lined the front entrance, creating an aperture towards a white-trimmed spiral staircase. The opulence of the room was startling but not surprising.

  If I had to wager a guess, half of these items didn’t initially belong to the royal family.

  “There’s not as much security as I would’ve expected,” I whispered to Dair, surveying a pair of guards rushing forward to converse with Tavvy. They, too, wore blue clothing with white crests just above their hearts. I would have to ask Dair if that was the symbol of the royal family.

  Dair chuckled at my question, grabbing my elbow to steer me towards the staircase. I had been shamelessly standing in the foyer, gaping at everything like a toddler.

  “This isn’t our main home,” he admitted. “It’s...how would you say it? A summer home.”

  “A summer home,” I repeated blandly. Before he could respond, a guard hurried towards him and said a few words in a language I didn’t recognize. Dair replied back in the same language. It was a beautiful sound, all soft vowels and smooth consonants. I waited until the guard had disappeared with a brisk nod before raising an inquiring eyebrow at my Mermaid Prince.

  “It’s Mer,” he explained, hand on the small of my back. He guided me past the staircase and down a long hall. “It’s the official language here. We only speak English at the Capital.”

  “Does every race have their own la
nguage?” I asked, peering through each room as we passed. One was what looked like a billiards room. Another, a bathroom. And a...was that an indoor beach?

  Before I could gawk further, Dair led me to a room at the end of the hall. The door was already open to reveal a large bed, easily twice as large as the one back in the Capital, with golden trim and a teal canopy overhead. There were at least a dozen drawers separated between three dressers, and a single desk sat in the center of the room, not against the wall as I would expect.

  “I instructed the servants to set up this room for us,” he admitted, unbuttoning his white shirt. My eyes latched onto the blond chest hair peeking through, and his eyes heated.

  There was the sound of glass shattering followed immediately by, “Mother fucking ass wipe.” Moments later, Bash entered the room, suitcase slung over his shoulder and eyes brewing with irritation.

  Behind him, Lupe sauntered into the room with a smug, satisfied smile on his handsome face.

  “What did you do?” I asked, cocking a brow up.

  Ignoring me, Lupe turned towards Dair with a devious smile. “Hopefully those vases in the hall aren’t expensive.”

  “Oh, they’re just gifts from the Genie royal family hundreds of years ago,” replied Dair dryly.

  Lupe chuckled, the sound sending delightful shivers up and down my body. “Good. You can just ask Dev for a new one.”

  “You didn’t need to throw it at me!” Bash protested. He tossed his suitcase onto the bed and spun on the Shifter with narrowed eyes.

  “I was aiming for Tavvy, but he ducked.” Shrugging carelessly, Lupe opened up his suitcase and began unpacking his clothes into drawers.

  “Why were you aiming for Tavvy?” I questioned. At this point, I felt like I had missed an entire conversation.

  In a dark voice I almost didn’t recognize, Lupe replied, “He was looking at your ass.”

  “Oh.”

  Thank you for defending my honor?

  That didn’t sound right.

  “Where’s Ryland?” I spun in a circle, searching the corners for my Shadow. After our blowout earlier, I wanted to check on him. To make sure he was okay.

  Both he and Killian felt misguided guilt for what had happened with Haven. Wrongfully placed guilt. I briefly wondered if any of my other mates felt like that.