Deliciously British

by Scarlett Avery

  I smile sheepishly. “I don’t remember the names of their bandmates, but yeah, those are the two dangerously hot guys in question.”

  “Are you kidding me?” Her voice goes up several octaves. “I mean, are you fucking kidding me?” It’s never good when someone asks the same question twice in a row.

  I shake my head. “There’s no way I would be able to make that kind of stuff up. Alas, I don’t have such a vivid imagination.”

  “Women would be willing to part with a vital organ just for one hour with either of these two hunks. You arrive straight from America, like yesterday, and you end up making out with both of them? The worst part is you didn’t even know who they were. You actually didn’t even realize you were living out one of the ultimate fantasies of every British woman of my generation.”

  “Well—”

  “No, seriously. You’ve got to be fucking with my head.” Okay, I guess I’ll let you vent. “For the love of God, I had their posters plastered on my walls for years. I went to see every one of their concerts—even the ones they had in Ireland. I knew every bloody word to every single song they ever put out. And you just bump into them. How is that even fair?” She exhales loudly. I’m getting the distinct vibe she’s not too happy with me right now.

  We sit there in silence. I’m looking for what to say next and I suspect she’s still in shock.

  “Jackie, I desperately need to talk,” I plead.

  “Really?” She flashes me a huge grin. “I’m not sure my heart can withstand hearing the salacious details, but go ahead, I’m willing to take a chance.” I guess she’s not as upset as I thought she was. “I touched myself so many times thinking of Ethan.” I didn’t need to hear that. “Xander is my dream bad boy. I’ve always wanted him to spank me for being a naughty girl.” Too much info. “I’m certain he fucks like a god.” All righty, then. “I’m pretty sure I’ll come just hearing your story.”

  “Heck, it was so hot and heavy, I might come again as well,” Now it’s my turn to grin.

  “Oh. My. God. Start talking, woman. Now.”

  “It’s a long tale, you’re sure you don’t want to eat?”

  “Since you can barely boil water”—she’s right, I’m a disgrace to all Southern women—“let me whip up a quick breakfast. It is Sunday after all. Then you can tell me everything. Deal?”

  “Deal. One thing, though.”

  “What?” she asks.

  “You can never share what I’m about to reveal to anyone—especially not Maggie.”

  She does a cross sign over her chest and looks at me solemnly. “I will never betray your trust, my sister.”

  “Promise? I need to be sure.”

  “I swear. You have my word, Delilah,” she insists.

  “Good.” I’m so relieved to hear her say that. “What I’m about to share might be tame for you, but it’s pretty out there for me.”

  “That much, huh?”

  “Let’s just say that if that security guard hadn’t knocked on the door at four o’clock this morning, God only knows what I would have been willing to let those two do to me.”

  Jackie’s eyebrows hit her forehead. “Holy shit. This is going to be so good,” Jackie yells out before clamping her hands over her mouth.

  There’s no going back now. I need help processing all of these crazy emotions.

  * * *

  Fashion has always been my thing. Cooking not so much. It’s interesting considering how much I love food and how amazing both my mom and my maternal grandmother are as cooks. It’s just that I prefer to eat rather than prepare.

  That said, Jackie knows her way around the kitchen. As I was giving her the scene-by-scene play of my dinner with Ethan and Xander, my roommate prepared a full English breakfast. There was nothing quick about what she served. We’re talking about a plate of crispy bacon, juicy sausages, fried eggs, sautéed mushrooms, baked beans, golden hash browns and buttery toast. I love how she added a grilled half tomato, stating, “Vegetables are important, after all.” Technically tomatoes are a fruit, but I get where she’s coming from. Yeah, Jackie is a hoot. I’m so happy we get along so well and I’m grateful I have someone willing to listen.

  Once we’re done inhaling our food, I pour my soul out. The more I reveal, the more Jackie squeals with delight. After an hour, I don’t have anything more to share. We simply sit at her small kitchen table staring at each other. The motor of the refrigerator is humming in the background as a reminder that a common kitchen appliance is the only other witness in the room.

  Jackie gets up and starts pacing. She looks a like a woman who has all this pent-up energy to burn. Funny, considering I’m the one harboring a secret. My roommate walks a circle around me like a wild lioness assesses her prey.

  Suddenly, my lips curl. I’m still relishing every second from last night. I try to control it, but it’s in vain. Before you know it, I’m giggling uncontrollably.

  “What?” Jackie asks. “Are you keeping things from me?”

  “Right before we left the room, Xander and Ethan took turns wrapping me in their arms. I guess it was to comfort me. I’m pretty sure it was obvious I was a fish out of water. But they didn’t stop at that. Each of them pressed me against the wall near the door and devoured my mouth until I was weak in the knees. Once again, one watched lustfully as the other kissed me passionately. I didn’t know what to do with myself. It was so intense, I thought I was going to melt right in front of them.”

  “Fuck,” Jackie lets out. Her mouth is gaping and she has this incredulous look on her face. “I so want to be you right now.”

  “So do I.” My answer surprises her. I wish I could be that same brazen girl from last night all the time, but that’s not the case.

  “Okay, you lost me.”

  “It’s morning, Jackie. You know the fairy tale as well as I do. The clock strikes midnight and my fancy carriage turns into a lowly pumpkin. Look,” I say, pointing at my feet. Our gazes drop at the same time. “No glass slippers. I’m barefoot.”

  “Huh?” When our eyes lock again, she’s blinking at me. Clearly I’m not making any sense.

  I don’t answer her immediately. I need a minute to process what I’m about to say. There’s a part of me that thinks that all of this is insanely thrilling and there’s another part of me that thinks that I’m going straight to hell without a chance of redemption. I rest my back against the chair and let my head fall backwards with my eyes glued on the ceiling. “Argh,” I let out, frustrated. Okay, I guess that didn’t go quite as planned.

  “What was that about?” Jackie must think I’ve completely lost my mind.

  “I know Ethan and Xander told me to take my time and mull things over. They don’t want me to feel pressured, but everything is so confusing for me. Conflicting even.”

  “What’s got you so troubled, my little Southern Belle?” The sarcasm is thick. “Enlighten me, because I don’t see how two men focusing all their attention on you can be that problematic.”

  “I don’t know which side of the fence I’m supposed to be on,” I finally say.

  Jackie stops right next to me. “Are you speaking American?”

  “I don’t know if I can handle more, Jackie.”

  “Why not, Delilah? It sounds like they sent you to heaven and back.”

  You got that right. “They did. It’s like I had no shame last night and that’s so unlike me. I was lying on my back fully naked on a granite counter top under dim lights. I’ve always been so modest and I am self-conscious about the fact that I don’t have a perfect body. The last thing I wanted to do last night was hide from them. I loved being daring and exposed to them. Truth be told, I thought maybe I was frigid or something, but turns out I’m not. I’ve never—ever—been so aroused before. No one has ever kissed me like they did. And the way they touched me—gentle at times and verging on cruel at others—nearly sent me over the deep end.” Jackie nods. I expect her to say something, but instead she sits back down. I keep talking. �
�I’ve become this whole other person seemingly overnight.” I sigh. “Is it the fact that I was so turned on by Ethan and Xander that I finally had my first orgasm? And is that why it was so off the charts? How can that be? They’re strangers. I couldn’t even get off like that with men I’ve dated in the past and was in a committed relationship with. Was it because I knew both of them were watching me take pleasure? Is it because they took full control over me? Or is it the fact that I was so desperate for affection? Is it all of the above?” My head is about to explode. “Fuck,” I shout before putting my elbows on the table and hiding my face in the palm of my hands. This is too much.

  Jackie reaches out and grabs my hands in hers, forcing me to look up. “From someone who’s been in your shoes…” Did she just say what I think she did? She pauses, purses her lips and raises her eyebrows. I guess my look of surprise has the same impact as if I spoke the words. “Yes, you heard me correctly.” Wow. “And to answer your last question, it’s all of the above. You had a little dirty fun with two hot guys last night. I had a full-blown raunchy, borderline X-rated threesome with two sexy Aussies for an entire month.” Her confession is jaw-dropping.

  “You did?” I blink furiously.

  “Mm-hmm. It was the best thirty days of my life.”

  “How did you meet them?” I guess you can’t judge a book by its cover. I knew Jackie was wild, but I never thought she was that uninhibited. Since I left Hush last night I’ve been wondering who the hell does these kinds of things. Little did I know that someone I live with could understand me so well.

  “It’s a fairly predictable story, really. I went out with a coworker after work for drinks on a Wednesday night. Your cousin Maggie”—she’s going to freak out when I muster up the courage to tell her—“was supposed to come along with a few other girls from her department, but at the last minute they couldn’t make it because they were finishing up an important project that one of the partners was presenting the very next day. Jillian and I made our way to our usual stomping ground—a sports bar not far from the office. We ate, we drank, we gossiped, we laughed our heads off. At some point in time these two guys—David Garrison and Eric Riggs—approached us. Since we were in such a good mood, we agreed when they invited themselves to sit at our booth. I mean what’s the point of having that much space if it’s not to share, right?” I nod. “Not to mention they were so gorgeous, it was impossible to refuse. It was a great night. David, Eric and I bonded because we were foreigners and Jillian spent the night making fun of the fact she was the only one who spoke English. At the end of the evening, they asked for our numbers and we obliged. I figured Eric was interested in Jillian since they seemed to have hit it off while David had showered me with attention. I hadn’t even had time to get home when David texted me to invite me out for dinner on Friday night. Of course, I accepted. It was a fantastic first date—the kind you secretly hope for, but never say aloud for fear of being disappointed. In any case, everything was going along nicely until Eric showed up.”

  “He did? On your date?” I ask, horrified.

  “I was as bewildered as you are now. David suggested we go for ice cream at Ample Hills Creamery—one of the best ice cream shops in New York—”

  “Amen to that, sister.”

  Jackie laughs. “It was already eleven by the time we got there. David suggested I go sit at one of the tables in a secluded area of the market while he took care of ordering. I thought it was a brilliant idea. It might have been late, but in New York fashion, it was still bustling with activity. When David showed up with Eric by his side I didn’t know what to think, but didn’t say anything. I figured it was a coincidence. As I savored my triple scoop of salted crack caramel ice cream, the two Aussies laid their cards on the table. The reason Eric didn’t come for dinner with us is because they didn’t want to overwhelm me. They wanted me to have the chance to be comfortable with one of them before letting me know that they were both attracted to me. Turns out Eric grabbed Jillian just to avoid making things awkward for her. He didn’t want her to feel left out. He didn’t text her because he didn’t want to lead her on.”

  “What did you do when you found out their intentions?” I’m completely riveted by Jackie’s story.

  “After being speechless for about ten minutes, I told them I’d never done anything like that before and I needed time to think. In all reality, I was looking for a polite way to let them down gently. I mean, who propositions a girl like that?”

  “Exactly,” I commiserate.

  “I think they saw me coming.”

  “What did they do?”

  “They told me I couldn’t make a decision until I spent an entire day getting to know them. They promised that at the end of the evening if I preferred to see David, Eric would understand. ‘No pressure,’ they said. I agreed partly because I was intrigued, but also because I was so flattered. We spent an exciting Saturday together. At the end of the day, they invited me over for dinner at the apartment they were renting. Although the energy between us had been very strong all day, they had remained perfect gentlemen. They never touched me in a sexual way and kept the innuendoes to a minimum. Once we were behind closed doors, all that changed. After too much food and a little too much wine, I started making out with David while Eric was caressing my body and watching. The next thing I knew, I was on my knees sucking off David while wanking Eric with my hand. From there we moved to the bedroom. Things got freaking amazing. That’s when I found out that all the guys I had been with before were a joke compared to my two Aussies. By Sunday morning, we were inseparable. After that, I lived at their place more than I did at mine. I didn’t want to waste a minute commuting back and forth. It’s the most intense relationship I’ve had in my life. I couldn’t believe a girl like me could be that lucky.”

  I feel the same way.

  “I mean, look at me.” Jackie pulls emphatically at her nightie. “I’m ordinary—at best, plump. I have boring brown eyes and no matter how much I try and regardless of how much I drop on expensive hair care products, my short brown bob will always be flat and lacking body. David and Eric are tall, gorgeous, blond, both with green eyes, all muscle and yet they chose me.” I so hear you.

  “Wow. I mean wow,” I exclaim. I can barely handle one guy. How the hell do you please two at the same time like that?

  “I know.” She shakes her head. Her face stretches in a wide smile. “Just revealing this brings back a flood of memories. It’s as if it were yesterday. I wish that what I shared with Eric and David had never ended.”

  “Why did it?”

  “I met them in the last stretch of their stay in New York. Their work visa was expiring and they had no other choice but to go back to Melbourne since the technology firm they were working for didn’t plan on extending their contracts. As for me, I was supposed to come back to London at about the same time they were leaving the Big Apple. You just don’t pick up your life and move to the other side of the planet just because you had a hot love affair with two amazing guys.” Jackie pauses. “Well, that’s what I thought, anyways. To my surprise, after David and Eric left, the architectural firm I was working with extended my visa. I ended up staying in America for an extra year. During that time I had a number of other threesomes. I was desperately trying to recreate what I had with those two, but it was impossible. Slowly, the realization sank in like an anchor. I hadn’t fought hard enough for something that was pretty amazing.”

  “They didn’t keep in touch?”

  “No. And it’s my own damn fault.”

  “Huh?”

  “I just thought a clean break would be the easiest thing. Although they disagreed with me, in the end I think I wore them down and they accepted my decision. A long-distance relationship between the UK and Australia? What chance was there of that ever working out for us? I even got a new number to be on the safe side. I figured if we didn’t exchange any communication, it would be much easier for us to move on. I was wrong—it took me forever to get over
them. At the time, my reasoning made sense because I was so obsessed with protecting my heart—I was falling for them.”

  “Even if it was a short-lived relationship, do you regret it?”

  Jackie shakes her head vehemently. “Not for one second. Finding one great lover can be quite the challenge, but when two fall into your lap, it’s the most amazing thing that can happen to a woman. Once you go down that road, it’s very difficult to go back to a traditional relationship. You’re so spoiled when there are two of them. That’s why it took me so long after Eric and David to be willing to open myself up again.”

  After a brief moment of hesitation, I ask Jackie the question that’s burning my tongue. “If the three of you had lived in the same city, would you have kept seeing them?”

  “Yes. Without a shadow of a doubt, I would have.” She’s so certain. “Things are good with Nathan, I won’t dispute that. It’s just a very different relationship. When I was with Eric and David all my senses were constantly on alert in a good way. It wasn’t only physical, we got along famously well and we shared so much in common.”

  “I don’t know Xander and Ethan, but I can say this, I’ve never felt so totally in touch with my own sexuality before.”

  Jackie leans in again like she did earlier. She places a hand against her cheek and whispers, “Rumor has it those two are very, very, very well hung.”

  “I think you’re right.” I match her low voice.

  “Did you see their cocks?” She’s nearly salivating.

  “No, you pervert.” I swat her arm. “It was my first time with them. I might be coming out of my shell, but I’m no ho. I touched Xander through his pants and he felt fairly large.” Come to think of it, he was huge. And very, very, very hard.

  “God, you’re so lucky, girl,” she exclaims, fanning herself again.

  I shrug. “Does size really matter? I think it’s just an old wives’ tale. Doesn’t every orgasm happen at the clit level?”

  “Are you out of your goddamn mind? Wash your mouth out with soap. How the hell do you think the guy is going to hit your G-spot?” Her reaction is too funny.