Deliciously British

by Scarlett Avery

  Once again, my lust-addled brain makes me oblivious to everything around me.

  “Delilah, I don’t know how you keep forgetting that I live here.” She laughs.

  “I’m sorry. I’m distracted again.” I look down at my feet and I’m grateful there isn’t enough coffee in my cup for it to spill all over the place.

  “Hmmm, you don’t say.” Jackie grins.

  “I just can’t hide much from you anymore.”

  “I know that dazed look by now. Does this have to do with your boys?”

  “Who else? They’re all I can think about.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with that.” She winks.

  “If you’re home on a Saturday morning, should I assume there’s trouble in paradise with Nathan? Is his son’s rowdy behavior forcing you apart from your boyfriend?”

  “Not at all. Actually my man is doing okay with his teenage rebel child. The same goes for me. I’m getting used to his son. I’m here because Nathan had to fly to Munich for a conference that’s starting on Monday. There’s a cocktail party tonight and he wanted to get there early to enjoy the city before a long week of lectures.”

  “You didn’t go with him?”

  “No. I have to present the drawings for the conversion of an old historical building first thing Monday. While my boyfriend does some sightseeing this weekend, I’ll be hard at work. I intend on heading to the office in the next few hours to meet up with my colleagues who are also working on this project with me. I’ll be there for the rest of the afternoon.”

  “I see. It’s a bummer that you have to work on a weekend and you can’t spend it with him.”

  “I feel the same way, but I can’t drop the ball on this project,” she says. “On a different note, may I point out what you’re wearing is so sheer it will award the neighbors living in the building across the street a pretty sexy show. Happy Saturday morning to them.” Jackie grins.

  My gaze follows the finger she’s waving at me and I realize how transparent my nightgown is. My boobs are hanging and flashing back my hardened nipples. At least I’m not completely indecent since I had the good sense to wear the matching g-string to bed. “Oh, my God, you’re right. What was I thinking?” My free hand flies to my breasts to try to conceal them. I don’t care so much about Jackie, since she’s seen me in all my glory more than a few times—and vice versa—but I don’t need to give the guys living across the street, who are already quite curious, an extra reason to peer at the window.

  Since Ashley had already forewarned us that the post-gala activity might be even worse than the prep work leading to it, I already knew I’d spend a few nights alone in my bed. “You’re funny, but this”—I wave the length of my body—“isn’t for them. It’s because I miss Ethan and Xander. I bought this lace and chiffon halter babydoll in light blue on the same day I bought my dress for the gala. Although a paltry substitute, this little number makes me feel sexy and helps me deal with not sleeping in their bed.”

  “Is everything okay?” I appreciate her caring like this.

  “Everything is amazing,” I say.

  “So I gather Wednesday night’s gala and Thursday night’s little shindig were smashing hits both career-wise and personally?”

  “Well, there was a lot of drama on that boat and not the good kind.”

  “Is there such thing as happy drama?” she asks with a teasing smile.

  “I guests you’re right.” I laugh. “In any case, I have to say that both nights will go down in my memory bank as unforgettable. Of course, you can imagine that the gala on that luxury yacht was magical.”

  “I’ve never been lucky enough to be invited to an event that takes place on the Silver Sturgeon, but I’ve heard it’s pretty out there in terms of experience.”

  “Absolutely.”

  “I assume the events paid off?”

  “Big time. Yesterday’s work was insane. I barely had time to drink coffee, let alone pee. Between the incessant phone calls, the avalanche of emails and the mob of people waltzing into the gallery, I didn’t have a minute to myself. We were inundated with purchases after the two events. In the end, it was another twelve hours on the go. After another very long day, Mr. Walcott took pity on us and treated us to dinner last night. He felt sorry so many of us sacrificed a Friday night to handle the overflow of work. It was great to kick back after so many marathon weeks. That said, the extra work and long hours caught up with me. I was practically falling asleep in my plate—we all were. Every single employee working at the gallery was exhausted. As much as I wanted to be with my boyfriends, I knew my body was too tired to even enjoy them. I texted them at around nine PM to let them know I’d come later today and spend the weekend with them.”

  “Well, I want to hear all about the drama. Did someone drink too much and things got out of hand? It’s so easy to make a fool out of yourself when alcohol is flowing freely—especially when it’s the good stuff. Still, I’m sure someone making a fool out of themselves must have ruffled a few feathers at such a posh event.”

  “Nah, that’s to be expected. There were a few tipsy people, but all in all, everyone behaved. I’m talking about a she-devil bitch trying to make a play for my men.”

  Jackie’s eyebrows arch in surprise. “You don’t say?”

  I nod. “This is the kind of nightmare you can’t make up.”

  “Do I have to beg for you to share the details?” The inquisitive glee in her eyes is amusing.

  “Nah, if you promise to cook breakfast, I’m willing to spill my guts for a meal.”

  “Done deal,” she cheers.

  We both laugh.

  * * *

  An hour later, I’ve recounted the whole melodramatic story that is Adele. Jackie listens to the entire tale with her jaw dropped. Honestly, I don’t blame her. The whole thing is so far-fetched. The odds of such a chance encounter should be documented in the Guinness World Records.

  “I think it’s amazing that they stood up for you like that,” Jackie points out.

  “It warmed my heart. They’ve said numerous times how much they care about me and they definitely show it, but last night they really went to bat for me. It’s a whole new experience for me to have men cherish me in that way.”

  “Good, and bravo to you from being unwilling to back away from that altercation with their ex. You did the right thing by putting her back in her place. She has no rights anymore.”

  “Exactly. It’s not in my nature to stand up for myself like that. I usually run and crawl under a rock. Everything is different with Ethan and Xander. They mean too much to me to allow that bitch to think that she can waltz back into their life and give me the boot. It’s been a year and a half, for God’s sake.”

  “Delusional bitch—” The buzzer cuts Jackie off mid-sentence. “Do the boyfriends miss you so much that they’re here to claim you?”

  I shrug and grab my phone to check my messages. “I haven’t received a text from them. Since we talked about me coming over later this afternoon, I doubt it’s them. Not to mention that if they were in the area, they would’ve warned me before knocking at my door.”

  The buzzer rings again and Jackie runs to see who’s at the door.

  “Yes?” Jackie says, pressing on the intercom button.

  “I have a delivery for a Delilah Babcock,” the voice on the other end responds.

  “For me?” I mouth, pointing at my chest.

  “I’ll be right there,” Jackie instructs before turning her attention to me. “If I were you, I’d run to your bedroom and hide. I think that,” she says, waving her finger in frantic circles, “is showing a little too much Southern hospitality.” She laughs.

  I explode in laughter. I so didn’t see that comment coming. I get up and head towards my bedroom with a quick step. When I hear her thank the delivery person and close the door, I saunter back into the kitchen. Jackie reemerges holding a large box.

  “Who is it from?” I inquire.

  “Mr. Ethan Gordimer
and Mr. Alexander Emerson, aka your lovers-slash-boyfriends.” She grins from ear to ear. “Someone got a big fat present.”

  “Ohhhh,” I coo, already excited. “I wonder what’s inside?” I stretch my arms out and grab the box wrapped in hot pink paper that Jackie is handing me.

  “Well, there’s only one way to find out.” She smiles. “That’s a sexy color for the paper.”

  “I agree.”

  “That was wrapped with care,” she observes, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “It was, wasn’t it.” I laugh.

  I place the box on the kitchen table and without me having to ask, Jackie has already grabbed a pair of scissors from the drawer. I open it and find a gold envelope sitting on top of some black tissue paper. When I read the note on it, I can’t help but smile.

  “Hmmm, whatever’s in there must be fairly kinky if they want you to open the envelope last,” Jackie comments over my shoulder.

  “Okay, now you’re making me nervous.”

  “Nonsense. You’re as eager as I am to find out what’s hiding in that big box.”

  I grin at her. “Patience, little one.”

  “Do I have to remind you that I’m older? Come on, Delilah. Quit teasing both of us. Hurry up and open that thing. I don’t have all day,” Jackie jokes.

  Carefully, I unfold the tissue paper and gasp when I see the first item.

  “Wow,” I exclaim as I pull out the most beautiful bra I’ve ever seen. It’s soft pink overlaid with a lacy black mesh on top. I’m sure it’s more expensive than anything I own.

  Jackie whistles. “You’re going to show off your inner vixen in that little saucy number. It’s beautiful.”

  “It is,” I marvel.

  “Vintage is so in again. This has such a burlesque feel to it that it’s illegally hot. Your tatas are going to be so inviting in this. I don’t think your boyfriends are going to be able to resist you for more than a minute when they see you in all your glory.” Without warning, Jackie reaches out and grabs my breasts with both hands.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?” I choke. Shocked, I take a few steps back. “When did we become this intimate? I definitely missed that memo.”

  “Oh, God, no. Wipe that bewildered look off your face.” She smirks. “Let me put your mind at ease. I only swing one way, honey. I love cock way too much to ever veer in the other direction. Not to mention that I have no intention whatsoever of licking a fanny. It’s just that your breasts are so phenomenal. I’ve wanted to touch them since the first day you got here.” She laughs. “What you’re wearing now makes it that much more possible for me. I mean, they’re just looking at me and hanging there.” Now she’s grinning like a mischievous child.

  “All right. I was slightly panicked there for a minute,” I say once I manage to breathe again.

  “Don’t look so freaked out. It’s just that my boobs are so small compared to yours.” She punctuates her sentence by weighing and squeezing my boobs a few times before letting them go. “As I was saying, this will look killer on you,” she continues as if she hasn’t just felt me up. “This is so sexy.” She forms a triangle with her index finger. It’s only now that I notice the bottom edge of the black satin trim, which features a small cut out at the center. “This is perfect for the extra skin to show through. Nice touch. This little detail can lead to a lot of naughtiness.” She’s right.

  “They spoil me so much.”

  “Given the size of this baby, I doubt it’s over yet.” She points her chin at the box.

  Between this beautiful piece and Jackie’s risqué move, I got distracted. I drop the bra on the table and rummage through the silk paper to see what else is in there. “Oh, God, these are also amazing,” I gush when I pull out the matching high-waisted panties.

  “Did you see the back?” Jackie asks. “Damn.”

  I flip the panties around and let out a long exhale. “Holy sex bomb.”

  Honestly, I doubt this combo needed any more sizzle. I mean the bra is stunning, but when you add these ravishing panties, the seduction factor goes way up. The back is a sexy lace-up that runs along the seam between your butt cheeks. I think they’re going to get a kick out of this one. So will I.

  “This is undoubtedly hot, Delilah. I think your boyfriends are trying to unleash the inner pinup in you,” Jackie concludes.

  “I think you’re—”

  “Have you seen these?” she interrupts.

  Jackie pulls out a garter belt cincher with two pairs of silk stockings—one nude and one black. When she waves them at me, I notice that the back has the same sexy detailing as the panties. Holy amazing.

  “I guess they’re leaving the decision up to me.” I was already blown away by the panties, the garter belt is icing on the cake.

  “Your curves will look dangerous in either option. In my humble opinion, I’d definitely go with this one. Garter belts drive men bonkers. I mean they lose their minds. This little piece of lingerie will have them eating from the palm of your hand like puppies. It’s the most surreal feeling of power. Between the two of us gals, it’s a weapon I’ve used many times in the past.” She winks. “With great success, may I add.”

  “I’ve seen these when shopping for lingerie and I’ve even seen them on the online shops that carry sizes for voluptuous women, but I’ve never dared to buy them. I always assumed they would look way sexier on a skinnier girl than on someone my size. I mean, there’s a lot that’s going to be spilling out of this.”

  “Tsk.” Jackie rolls her eyes at me. “What you just said is rubbish. It’s a good thing your boyfriends know better,” she scolds. “As for your last comment, that’s the whole point. It’s supposed to be a celebration of all of your bits. And don’t forget, men see us very differently than we see ourselves. What we consider imperfect is often the complete opposite in their eyes. It’s a well-known fact and it’s thoroughly documented that Mr. Ethan Gordimer and Mr. Alexander Emerson only go for the hottest girl with curves. Guess which category you fall into?” The way she tilts her head to the right and raises her left eyebrow is quite telling.

  Heat rushes to my cheeks. “Oh,” is all I manage to say.

  “Something tells me that tonight you’re going to discover a whole new side to your sensuality.” Her words humble me. “There’s more,” Jackie says, shifting her eyes back to the box. She reaches out and pulls out a bag that looks like it comes from a shoe shop. “You’re right. These guys are spoiling you rotten. Enjoy every second of it.” She winks, handing me the bag.

  I carefully drop it on the table. When I reach inside the bag, I realize there’s a second bag. When I pull that one out, I gasp when I read the name inscribed on the gorgeous high-gloss bag. “They bought me shoes from the Oliver Marcus shop?” I ask as if it isn’t obvious.

  “Blimey. It took me six months of saving to be able to afford a pair of shoes there and mine were on sale. Wow, your guys aren’t only walking sex gods, they also have incredible taste.”

  I’ve walked in front of that store so many times before mustering the courage to walk in. Like most stores located on small streets adjacent to Bond Street, this is as exclusive as it gets. The shoes aren’t nearly as outrageously priced as the ones from Christian Louboutin, Jimmy Choo or Manolo Blahnik, but still there’s no way I can ever afford them.

  Impatient, I lift the lid. When I take in the shoes, I drop the lid on the table so fast you’d think it were on fire. “Oh, my God, these are absolutely gorgeous,” I exclaim.

  “Holy shit. Those scream ‘fuck me hard’.” Jackie’s right. These black studded super-high heels with rhinestones should come with a warning. Not only am I going to feel like a million bucks with these strapped to my feet, I’ll also feel like a princess. The fact that the six-inch heel will give me a little extra height so I don’t feel like a tiny person next to my strapping boyfriends is a bonus.

  I open my mouth to say something, but from the corner of my eye I notice something red peering from underne
ath the black tissue paper. I drop the shoes and reach out for it. Wow. It’s quite deceptive how large the bag is. When I read the note stuck to it, I crack up. “That’s hilarious. This must’ve been Xander’s idea.”

  Jackie gets a little closer. “‘For good girls wanting to go bad.’” Since I’m still dying of laughter, she’s the one who reads the handwritten inscription on the white card. “Well, that speaks volumes.” She points.

  When I finally find my composure, I’m able to discover what’s hiding inside this little bag. I don’t even have to pull it out to already know what it is. Its particular shape is a dead giveaway. “Oh, God,” I exclaim.

  “What is it?” Jackie asks.

  “I think they’re sending me a message.”

  “You’re not making any sense, Delilah.”

  “Does this spell it out?” I pull a butt plug out of the bag.

  “Holy Mary, mother of God. That thing is massive,” my roommate shouts.

  “Yeah, it’s the third one in the series they bought for me.” I’m already defeated.

  “What? Are you saying your boyfriends are that big?”

  I shake my head. “They’re bigger.”

  “Shut the fuck up.” Her hands fly up to cover her gaping mouth. “Seriously?” she asks incredulously.

  I nod. “Twelve inches of delicious manhood.”

  “Both of them are that size?” Jackie shrieks in this high-pitched tone.

  “Yes.” I nod again with my lips pursed.

  “Blimey.” Her jaw drops and she blinks furiously at me for a few long seconds before speaking again. “Well, I’m bloody impressed. Scratch that. I’m a fair bit jealous. Rumors have been running rampant for years on the Internet. Since I’ve never met a woman who’s actually shagged either of them, I always took them with a grain of salt. Now I have the confirmation. Forget about being well endowed, they have monster cocks… and you, my dear”—she taps the tip of my nose—“get to enjoy every inch of them. Bravo,” Jackie cheers. “I guess there’s no point reading that note. It’s pretty obvious what tonight is about,” she teases.

  “I think you’re right.” I swallow hard.