A Different Way

by Kathryn Shay

  Brooke’s expression was sympathetic.

  “Okay, I’m done,” Lynne said. “You’re not going to get away without telling me how Brooke is.”

  “Brooke gets better every day.” It had been four months since Zach died. “In some ways the pain has lessened, is at least tolerable. At other times, it bursts upon me and I want to curl into a fetal position.”

  “Getting ambushed must be hard.”

  “Suzanne Blakely’s my friend at the academy. She suggested I go to a grief group.” The psychologist was a terrific addition to the fire department.

  “I think that’s a great idea.”

  “I’m not sure opening up wounds is the way to heal.”

  “Those wounds haven’t scabbed over yet, honey.”

  “Probably not.”

  Slowing down, they turned toward home and walked in silence for a block or so. The quiet was natural between them.

  After a bit, Lynne spoke again. “I might go to a group, too.”

  “Yeah?”

  “It’s called Flying Solo, for parents who don’t have partners.”

  “Is it a matchmaker site?”

  “God, no. I’m not ready for that. Supports groups are run by a psychologist from Elmwood, then they do social activities together.”

  “Hmm. Go for it.”

  “Want to come with?”

  Brooke was horrified at the notion and stopped. “I’m so not there.”

  “I should have known that.” She squeezed Brooke’s shoulder. “Sorry.”

  “Let me know what happens, though. Maybe you’ll meet Superman.”

  “There’s no such thing in my near-future, Brooke. I just want to concentrate on my job and my kids.”

  Which was Brooke’s mantra these days, too.

  Light snowflakes landed on their cheeks as they reached her house. “Come in for coffee?”

  “I’d love to. I’m so happy to be here to do these informal things with you.”

  “You have no idea how much I’m thrilled by your move.”

  Lynne linked arms with Brooke as they took the path up to the garage. They both sighed contentedly.

  * * *

  Later that night, Lynne called up the Flying Solo website. The next meeting was tonight in Elmwood, where the group was held. And she didn’t have the kids until tomorrow when Phillip and Melody arrived.

  “What the hell?” she said to herself. “Take a risk.”

  Running a brush through her hair, wearing the same athletic suit she walked in, Brooke grabbed a jacket, her keys and a small wallet that fit into her back pocket, then left the house. Twenty minutes later, she walked into the Elmwood Town Hall and was directed to the designated room by a security guard. The corridor was filled with the scent of coffee. At the doorway, she saw the area was large and well-lit, with about thirty people sitting in a circle. Taking a deep breath, she crossed to the table at the entrance.

  “Hi, I’m Carly. Welcome to Flying Solo.”

  “Hello. Lynne Lucas.”

  “This your first time?”

  “How could you tell?”

  “I know pretty much everybody in the group. Would you fill out a form for introduction purposes?”

  “Sure.” She took a chair a few feet away, entered some routine personal data and returned it to Carly.

  “Thanks, Lynne. You’re the only new person tonight. We’ll introduce you. It’s our practice.”

  “Go for it.”

  Joining the group, Lynne dropped down into an empty chair between a woman and a man, who both greeted her.

  Surveying the group, she noticed most people were more dressed up than she was. Her gaze stopped on Brady Jamison, wearing jeans and a chambray slate blue shirt, rolled up at the sleeves. He stared down at a clipboard Carly had given him, then raised his head and scanned the participants. No signs of recognition. He stood. “Hi, everybody. We have a new person tonight, Lynne Lucas. Lynne, could you wave to the group?”

  Lynne waved. “Hello.”

  Brady grinned at her. “Lynne is new to Crystal Corners and is,” again he glanced down at the paper “oh, wow, a firefighter.”

  “Me, too,” the guy next to her said. “Mike Holly.”

  “Hi, Mike.”

  Brady continued, “Tonight, we’ll discuss future activities first, then break up into support groups for an hour. You have a choice of three: Healing, Parenting Downfalls and How to listen to your children. Then, we’ll have social time for the rest of the evening until ten.”

  Lynne sat silently as the group offered suggestions and Brady wrote them down. At one point, someone asked, “Do you have an activity you’d like to do, Lynne?”

  She said, “I went ax throwing this year. It was a lot of fun.”

  “Tell us about it.”

  She recounted her night with the Sisters of Fire and someone asked if she’d like to plan an event there. “Um, sure, if I come back.”

  Brady smiled. “We’ll put you down.”

  They broke up after an hour and several people approached her. She wished Brady had. As the room emptied, she headed for the support group she’d chosen. Still, he hadn’t sought her out.

  * * *

  Brady poured some coffee in the hall where the pot was set up in front of three smaller rooms. He was glad when Lynne Lucas came up to him. Even without the makeup, her eyes were a startling green. Unbraided, her blond hair was full and round her shoulders.

  “Hello, Fairy Princess.”

  “Hello, Fairy Princess’s father.” She cocked her head. “You know, you remind me of somebody.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Ever see the seventies film Love Story?”

  “Yeah. Annie, one of my friends, made a group of us watch it one night. She’s a romantic. That’s it. You look like a young Ryan O’Neal.”

  He actually blushed. “The spitting image, my mom says.”

  She chuckled.

  “So, a firefighter, huh?”

  “Yep, my life’s work. What do you do?”

  “I’m a psychologist.”

  A chime sounded. She asked, “Which group are you going to?”

  “Healing.”

  “Hmm. Me, too.”

  They walked in together and took one of the rectangular tables that seated four people. Their shoulders touched.

  The group was called together.

  “Hello, I’m Abigail Simmons. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m a child psychologist and I work out of Westside Family Medicine. Tonight’s topic was chosen by a vote some time ago.

  “Healing! A simple word but one we can’t live without if we’ve survived the death of a spouse, are separated from a significant other or are divorced. Future talks will cover healing for children but your kids will get better faster if you’re in a good place. Here are some points I’ll cover tonight.

  “One. Give yourself time to heal. And I don’t just mean before dating again. I mean to mend your heart. It won’t happen overnight.

  “Two. For some, healing can involve learning to love yourselves again, and for others, it could be learning to be on your own as a single parent.

  “Three. As much as you may feel like you can never do this alone, don’t get dependent on others until you’ve proven to yourself that you can make it solo.

  “Four. The only true way to have a healthy relationship with anyone is to be a whole person, aka healed, before you begin something romantic.”

  After several members shared opinions, Abigail summarized each point and kept the discussion moving. The time flew.

  When the session ended, Brady walked out with Lynne. “So, what did you think?” he asked.

  “It was all great advice. I wish it didn’t take so long to heal.”

  “You go in and out of it. My wife’s been dead two years and things still happen that make me feel sad.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “What about you? How long have you been divorced?”

  “We filed in mid-October. But it’
s uncontested so the whole ordeal should be over by Christmas.”

  “You must be raw from the situation.”

  “When I let myself think about it.”

  “As a psychologist, I recommend allowing the feelings to surface. You’ll heal faster.”

  They reached the larger room. “Are you staying for the social hour?”

  “I wasn’t planning to.”

  For some reason, he really wanted her to stay. “Come on, I’ll stick by you.”

  “All right.”

  She met people and chatted amiably with them. She seemed to have fun. When the night ended, Brady was close by and told her, “I’ll walk you out.”

  They left the hall headed toward the exit. “I’m glad you suggested I stay. I had fun.”

  “Then my job is done.”

  At the coat-check room, Lynne went inside to get her jacket. Standing back as she walked away, he noticed now how nicely she filled out the sweat suit. When she came back, Brady asked for her coat, then held it out for her. She poked her arms in but her hair tangled at the collar, so he scooped it out of the neckline. His fingers grazed soft skin and the lemon scent of her locks threw him some.

  She pivoted. “You’re always getting me out of things.”

  He blanked.

  “Um, I didn’t mean clothes. Or future clothes.”

  He laughed.

  “Now that I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one night I’ll leave. Goodbye, Dr. Brady Jamison.”

  “Goodbye, Lieutenant Lucas.”

  Again, he watched her walk away. And experienced something unfamiliar. This was the first time since Jenny died that he felt a strong physical attraction for another woman.

  Chapter 2

  * * *

  “What do you mean you didn’t tell her?” Bryce was frowning from the bench where he sat.

  Brady stood in front of the mirror, dressing. He could see his brother in the glass. They were opposite in appearance. Bryce was dark-haired and dark-eyed. “The opportunity didn’t come up.” He turned around. “That’s not exactly true. I didn’t want to…ruin the time with her. You know how people I don’t know react when I confess all.”

  “Did something happen between you two?”

  He knew his face reddened, but he held his brother’s gaze anyway. “One little thing. I helped her with her coat and smelled her hair. I got…it was the first time I was attracted to a woman since Jenny died.”

  Bryce sighed. “Aw, Brady, don’t say it like you committed a sin.”

  “I of all people know what a sin is.”

  “You also know what I mean. How did it feel?”

  “It felt great.”

  “I’m glad. Jenny’s been gone a long time.”

  That made him sad. Jenny Newton became Jenny Jamison the year they both graduated from college. She’d been a wonderful wife and mother. A case of adult leukemia took her in two months.

  “Brade?”

  “I’m fine.” He glanced at his watch. “Uh-oh. I have to get out there.”

  “All right. See you then.” Bryce left him alone.

  Brady took a few deep breaths and centered himself. Then he walked out of the vestibule and onto the altar. He faced his congregation. “I say it’s time for Church.” His regular Sunday morning beginning.

  “It’s time for Church!” the congregation repeated.

  “Let’s read from the screen.” Not depending on hymnals all the time was an innovation he made after his father retired from his ministry five years ago. “We’ll say the opening prayer together.

  “Blessed Lord, Spirit within me. Give us the calmness to clear our minds of all anxiety and let you fill us with your grace. Help us to get to know you better today. Give us a service that helps us take you out into the world this week. Amen.”

  * * *

  “So, you’re gonna live here?” Her son’s voice was surly, meant to annoy. Contrary to Melody, Phillip had resisted moving up to Crystal Corners in October or even visiting. Finally, Lynne put her foot down the last two weekends she was scheduled to have him.

  “No, honey. This is a rental. I’m searching for a permanent place for us.”

  “Will I have my own room, Mommy? That I can decorate? I can’t here.” This child was excited and happy. Her long blond hair was like Lynne’s and she’d gotten her blue eyes from her dad.

  “You both’ll have your own rooms.” With her firefighting income higher than it was in Dannerville, despite her demotion to lieutenant, and child support from Ken, plus half of their assets, Lynne was hoping to buy a house as soon as the divorce was final and their investments divided. Though this was a lovely place, she longed for something of her own.

  Phillip grunted about his new room.

  “Now, how about some lunch?”

  The kids agreed and they went to the kitchen. As she made their favorite BLTs, Phillip crossed to the sliding doors and looked out at the blustery November day. He resembled Ken, with blue eyes and light brown hair, cut close around the bottom. Melody sat on a stool at the counter and kicked her feet.

  “So, I made plans to meet Tess at the Y and swim, then have dinner out. Pizza maybe.”

  “I don’t wanna go.” Poor Phillip. He liked Vinny DiMarco, but he was a typical teenager. Sometimes, it felt like he was trying to be difficult.

  “Vinny will be there. You like hanging out with him.”

  No response.

  “Are Izzy and Maria coming?” Mel asked.

  “They are.”

  “Hey, Mommy. Can we call Emma, the girl we met on Halloween, and ask her to come, too?”

  Lynne’s stomach lurched a bit. “Oh, sweetie. We don’t know them that well. I don’t even have their phone number.”

  “Okay.” Luckily, Mel had a sunny personality.

  Lunch went fine. Phillip was a growing boy and ate two big sandwiches. Once fed, he seemed a bit more relaxed when he trundled upstairs to get ready without further complaint.

  An hour later, after picking everybody up in her van, the seven of them walked into the Y’s pool area. Lynne had joined the facility as soon as she moved, a perk of her health insurance. The other Sisters of Fire belonged here, too.

  Tess and Lynne found chaises together, a miracle on a Saturday afternoon. The girls splashed in the shallow end though they could all swim, and the guys went off to the side and sat on the edge of the pool. “Oh, dear. The boys are eying a group of girls sitting down from them.”

  Tess laughed. “They’re thirteen, nearly fourteen, Lynne.”

  “Yeah, I guess that would be at the top of their interests now.”

  “Of course, it is.” At four-months pregnant, Tess glowed. She wore a blousy two piece black and white suit though they’d finally told the kids she was carrying a brother or sister. “How are they doing?”

  “Phillip’s stubborn. He has a lovely room at David’s house, but is whiny when he stays with me.”

  “Kids react to their parents’ divorce, sweetie.”

  “I guess you’d know. How soon before he’s civil again?”

  “With Vinny it took longer because he went to live with Vince. But I have some news on that front. He’s asked to come back to stay with me and David now.”

  “Tess. You must be so happy.”

  “We’re all thrilled.”

  “I think he’s mad at us. Ken called me to say he’s been absolutely impossible with him.”

  “He knows about Mary, right?”

  “Yes. Phillip also told me she was, and I quote, knocked up but he wouldn’t talk about it. Ken thinks there’s a rumor circulating around town.”

  “At least he knows the divorce isn’t your fault.”

  “Phillip said when he got surly about it, that Ken shouted his mother had left them anyway.”

  “The bastard.”

  Lynne kept an eye on the girls. Mel was pouring water over Maria’s head now with a small bucket. “I’m so glad you moved up. We can spend time like this together.”

/>   “Thanks. I told Brooke the same thing a few days ago.”

  After a half hour of chitchat, Lynne and Tess each dove into the water from the deep end and swam to the shallow part.

  When they passed the boys, Vinny cupped his hands around his mouth. “Way to go, Mom!”

  The afternoon went pleasantly. They left the Y around five for an early dinner. Once they got to the Crystal City Pizzeria they confiscated a long rectangular table, and the kids talked among themselves while Tess and Lynne perused the menu. Spicy sauce and the scent of dough made everybody famished. After the waitress took their order, a couple came inside. Brady Jamison. With a very pretty woman. This time, Lynne’s heart skipped a beat.

  “What is it, Lynne?”

  “Mommy, it’s that guy from Halloween.”

  Tess’s brows rose.

  The two of them headed towards a booth but when Brady caught sight of her, they detoured over. “Hi, there.”

  “Hi.” Lynne’s voice didn’t come out normal.

  “Where’s Emma?” Melody asked.

  “With her grandparents. This is my sister, Brianna Fisher.”

  Lynne introduced Tess and her family and Phillip, who scowled at him. Brady seemed surprised to see she had a son.

  “We went swimming at the Y,” Mel told him. “I wanted to ask Emma but we didn’t have your phone number.” She said to Lynne, “Get it, Mommy. Okay?”

  Lynne took her phone out so he could enter his contact information. Their pizza arrived. “We’ll let you eat. Nice to meet you all and to see you two again.”

  She couldn’t help but study him as he left. A taupe sweater spanned his broad shoulders. And that butt…

  Tess poked her in the ribs. Her expression said, We need to talk.

  Lynn smiled. Soon, all the Sisters of Fire would know about this mysterious man from Halloween.

  * * *

  As Brady drove to Adam Matthews’ house, he thought about Lynne Lucas. She’d been adorable yesterday with her blond hair damp, her face flushed. After seeing her at the pizza place, he’d dreamed about her last night. She and Brady were in bed. Damn it, he didn’t want to belabor that nocturnal adventure. His psychology degree told him having sexy dreams was normal human behavior, but Brady wasn’t a normal person.