Series Starter : Firsts in Series Collection

by Kaylee Ryan

  Chapter 34

  Logan

  It takes extreme effort to not watch him walk away. Instead, I focus on the piece of pizza that’s sitting in front of me.

  “What did you do to our boy?” Cole ask.

  “What?”

  “Kacen, he’s different with you,” Gavin explains.

  “He’s never let a girl sit in on writing, none of us have,” Tristan adds.

  “I’m sorry. I told him I would be a distraction,” I apologize.

  “Logan, you’re not a distraction. It’s fine that you’re there,” Gavin tries to reassure me.

  “We made this pact as a band, as brothers,” Cole begins to explain. “No women while we’re trying to focus on an album. Not unless she’s it.”

  “Okay, you’re confusing me,” I admit.

  “You’re it for him. He would have never agreed, let alone insisted that you join us if not,” Tristan says.

  My head is starting to spin. I can tell by the way they’re acting that they are deadly serious. “So, that means . . . what? That he wants to date me?” I feel ridiculous talking about this with them. They’re ROCK STARS!

  Cole doubles over with laughter. “Logan, he wants to more than date you. You. Are. It.” He emphasizes each word.

  “I can’t . . . How do you . . .” I can’t seem to find the words.

  “Now, you know what comes next right?” Gavin asks.

  “N-n-n-no,” I stutter.

  “We need to know your intentions toward our boy,” Cole says deadpan.

  Holy shit! Is this really happening? “I, we, I mean, I’m not sure. I work for him,” I say like an idiot.

  “And?” Tristan asks.

  “It’s wrong,” I counter.

  “Says who?” Gavin fires back.

  I feel like I’m up against the firing squad. “What if he changes his mind?” I whisper the question. That’s really what it comes down to. I told Kacen as much earlier today. I’m scared he will change his mind, and I’m already falling hard for him; hell, I’ve fallen for him. I can at least admit that to myself. I will never recover if he changes his mind.

  Tristan walks over to me and places his arm around my shoulders. “You can’t think like that. Kacen knows what he wants. He’s not one to make decisions lightly. I talked to him while he was in Hawaii. He told me all about this amazing girl he met.”

  “We’ve watched him watch you for weeks. He never used to be up at the ass-crack of dawn, now he is. No matter how late we stay up working on the album, he’s up and showered before you get here,” Cole says.

  “He talks about you all the time. He gets on us for talking to you or even looking at you in a way that makes him feel like we would swoop in and try to take you from him,” Gavin adds.

  “He’s protective over you, and that’s never happened. With the few serious relationships he’s had, he’s never been like that,” Cole explains. “Hell, I would go as far to say that he’s in love with you.”

  I gasp for breath at his words, just as Kacen walks back into the room. I’m coughing like a fool as his big frame steps in front of me. “Logan, baby, what’s wrong?” I can hear the worry in his voice.

  I shake my head no, still coughing.

  He grabs Tristan’s arm and throws it off my shoulders. “Don’t fucking touch her. What happened? Someone needs to start talking.”

  I’m still hacking up a lung. Gavin hands me a bottle of water, and I’m able to take a small sip, which seems to help. I cough a few more times and take a few more small sips of water before I feel like it’s under control. Kacen is there in front of me, his hand rubbing circles on my back, begging me to tell him what to do.

  “I’m fine,” I say.

  “You are not fine,” he says through gritted teeth. “What happened?” he asks again.

  “Nothing, I was eating and it went down wrong. I’m okay,” I say, placing my hand on his chest.

  “Jesus.” He pulls me into his chest. “You scared the shit out of me.”

  “And I rest my case,” Cole says.

  Kacen doesn’t even bother to ask him what he means by that. He has a death grip on me as he gently runs his hand up and down my spine. He’s all hard and rigid, and yet he handles me with infinite care. Is that love? Hell, do I even know what love is? I thought that’s what I had with Daniel. I realized all too late that it wasn’t. I never felt for him like I do Kacen. He never made my heart skip a beat just from entering a room. It never felt like bolts of electricity flowing through my veins when he touched me.

  That only happens with Kacen.

  I’m in love with him.

  “Logan, do you want to go lie down?” he asks.

  “No, Kacen, I’m fine, really. I just couldn’t stop coughing,” I reassure him.

  He cups my face in both hands and stares into my eyes. He must see what he’s looking for as he finally relents. “Okay, you all ready to get started?” he asks, releasing me.

  “Yep, we’ll see you down there,” Gavin says. The three of them leave us alone.

  “Come here, you,” Kacen says, pulling me back against his chest. “I know I just acted like an ass and completely overreacted, but your face was red and you were gasping and couldn’t stop coughing. Everyone was just standing around and . . . Fuck!” He pulls out a chair and sits down, pulling me between his legs. His head rests against my belly. I run my fingers through his hair. We stand like that until he gets himself under control.

  “That’s a first for me. I’ve never flipped out like that over . . . Logan.” He lifts his head and pulls my hand from his hair to rest over his heart. “You own me. I’m offering you everything I have to give.”

  “Kacen—”

  “Shhh. Don’t say anything. I just needed you to know.” He pulls my hands to his lips, kissing each one, and then stands. He doesn’t say anything else as he leads me down the steps to the studio.

  If I had not already realized that I loved him, that last little speech would have pushed me over the ledge.

  Chapter 35

  Kacen

  Last night sucked ass! After I laid my heart at her feet, the guys and I tried to write. I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. I seriously thought something bad was wrong with her and flipped my shit. Who does that? She basically had a fucking tickle in her throat. Yes, that’s how she’s referring to it now. I lost my shit when I thought she was hurting. That is most definitely a first.

  We listened to the rhythm Cole worked out the night before and then we called it quits. I apologized that I just wasn’t feeling it. They know me well enough to know why. We decided they would all stay and maybe we could hit the ground running first thing tomorrow morning. We usually don’t work in the mornings, but then we don’t usually call it a night by ten o’clock either.

  To make matters worse, I slept alone. Unlike the night before when I held her in my arms all night. She went to her room and I went to mine. This made my already bad mood even worse. I’m fucking gone for this girl.

  So, here I am at six in the damn morning, crawling out of bed. I slept maybe two hours. I kept waking up and reaching for her. Instead of lying in bed awake, I decide to go for a run, something I’ve not done much of lately. I need to add that back into my daily routine, especially since I’m up early anyway waiting for Logan.

  When I get to the bottom of the stairs, I see the light is on in Logan’s office. My feet carry me that way with the hope she’s up too. I stop and gently knock against the doorframe.

  “Shit!” she screams as she jumps in her chair. “You scared the hell out of me. What are you doing up?” she asks.

  I will never lie to her. “I missed you. I kept reaching for you, but you weren’t there. I couldn’t get back to sleep. What are you doing up?” I counter.

  She bites her bottom lip. “I couldn’t sleep,” she says, her voice barely a whisper.

  I step into the room. “Why couldn’t you sleep?”

  Those big brown eyes pull me in. “I missed
you,” she replies.

  Finally! I fight hard not to grin. I feel like I’m making a breakthrough. I walk around her desk and kneel beside her chair, resting my hand on her leg. “You should have come to me, or called or texted or sent a fucking carrier pigeon. You could have yelled for me, and I would have been there,” I say emphatically.

  She reaches out and places her hand on my cheek. She’s initiating contact, another breakthrough that has my heart pounding in my chest. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

  “It’s safe to say from this day forward, if you’re not tucked in beside me, I’m not sleeping for shit. Never hold out if you need me, Logan.”

  She nods then changes the subject. “So, Cassidy sent me an e-mail, and it looks like Sunday we, well, I mean, all of you will be visiting Children’s Hospital.”

  “We. You are included in anything and everything I do from here on out. I want you with me all the time. I can’t seem to get enough of you.”

  This causes her to blush. There’s my girl. “Okay, well, Sunday at one is when we’re supposed to be there. I have some swag all ready for you guys to sign for them.” She points to a box on the floor.

  “Thank you. Now let’s go get some breakfast.”

  “Wait, what were you going to do before you saw I was up?”

  “I was going to go for a run, but not when I can enjoy a quiet breakfast with you before the guys show up.” I tug on her arm and pull her into the kitchen.

  “Sit,” I tell her, pointing to the island. “Today I’m making breakfast for you. The guys can fend for themselves.”

  “I don’t mind cooking.”

  “Nope, I want to spoil you today. So, my dear, what would you like on your bagel?” I say it with a straight face.

  Logan, on the other hand, bursts out laughing. “What are my options?” she asks when her laughter is under control.

  “Let’s see. We have butter, cream cheese, peanut butter, jelly, and honey.”

  “I’ll have cream cheese, please and thank you.” She giggles.

  “So when does Stacy come home?”

  “Tomorrow. She has to be back to work this weekend.”

  “How about the apartment? Heard anything?”

  “Yeah.” She sighs. “There was an e-mail this morning from the management company stating it will be at least another two weeks. There was some kind of issue with the contractor.”

  “You know you’re welcome here forever, right? Hell, you can move in if you want.” The words fly out of my mouth, but I mean every word.

  “Stacy said I could stay at her parents.’ I didn’t feel comfortable staying there without her, but since she’s coming home . . .” Her voice trails off.

  “Bring her here. You can both stay here. I’m sure staying with her parents is not high on her list of options,” I say. I finish spreading cream cheese on her bagel and set the plate in front of her on the island. I place my hand on the back of her head and lean forward. “Please don’t leave. I want you here.” I’m begging her, and I’m okay with that. If that’s what it takes to get her to understand that I need her, I’ll do it.

  “Thank you. I would like to stay here.” I’m getting ready to respond when she says, “With you.”

  Best fucking day ever! Not able to control myself, I lean in and kiss her cheek. “You made my day, babe.”

  Today is turning out to be another great day with her. Last night things went a little south, but not because of her, just because my dumb ass doesn’t seem to want to function without her. I loved showing her the property yesterday and we talked, really talked. I understand where her fear is coming from, but it looks as though she’s slowly coming around.

  Chapter 36

  Logan

  This week flew by. Kacen took every opportunity for us to spend time together. We’re not officially together, but he’s wearing me down.

  Today we went to Children’s Hospital and visited with some of the older kids. All four of the guys were amazing. They were patient with the kids and didn’t treat them as if they were sick. They played board games with them, and the last hour or so, played for them. It was all a capella and the guys took requests. It was a sight to see my rockers singing Taylor Swift. It was even more shocking that they knew the words. On the drive home, they quickly reminded me that they love all genres of music. I think I hurt their feelings, though not intentionally.

  As we were packing up to leave, the fifteen-year-old boy who requested that Soul Serenade visit rolled over to Kacen and me in his wheelchair. He stuck his hand out for Kacen to shake and thanked him for an awesome day. I couldn’t prevent the tears that burned hot behind my eyes. Then the kid pointed at me and asked Kacen, “Is she your girlfriend?”

  I was embarrassed at first, mainly because I know he wants me to be. “She’s my girl,” he told him, and my heart swelled. It was in that moment that I knew I could no longer fight the inevitable. He makes me happy, and he’s proven time and time again that I’m who he wants. Life is full of risks, and I have to risk my heart in order to reap the reward.

  We’ve been home for about an hour and I’m pacing the foyer, waiting for Stacy. She got home two days ago, but had a mandatory meeting yesterday, so I haven’t been able to see her. I miss her. I want to hear all about her vacation, and then I have a ton to catch her up on. She’s missed a lot between Kacen and me.

  I’m sure she’s going to be thrilled to know I’m going to tell him tonight after she leaves that I’m in, and I want anything and everything he’s offering. I want to take the risk, especially if he is my reward.

  “Is she here yet?” Cole asks as he sits down on the bottom step. Ever since that night in the bar, he’s been bugging me about her. What’s she like? Is she seeing anyone? The list goes on and on. We can all see he’s interested, despite only having met her for a couple of hours. I can only assume that Tristan and Gavin are going to make it hard on him tonight, flirting with her every chance they get. I need to make sure I warn her about those three.

  My phone beeps with a text:

  Stacy: I’m here. Can you open the gate?

  Me: On it.

  I walk toward the panel on the wall that controls the gate, but Cole beats me to it. I’m going to enjoy watching him go head to head with my bestie.

  I dash out the front door and down the steps, waiting for her to make it up the driveway. As soon as the car stops, I’m rushing her door and pulling it open. We engulf each other in a tight hug.

  “I missed your ass,” she laughs.

  “I missed you, too. How was vacation?”

  “Good, Mom and Dad drove me crazy. ‘When are you going to settle down? I want grandkids . . . yadda, yadda, yadda.’ You know how they are.”

  “Yes, I do. You should stay here at least a night or two to give yourself a break,” I offer.

  “Listen to you being Ms. Hostess. Does that hottie rock star of yours know you’re passing along that invitation?”

  “I do, and she already knows that what she wants she gets,” Kacen says from the steps.

  “Log, aren’t you going to officially introduce us to your friend?” Cole yells. I can only assume he would be down here already if it weren’t for Kacen. He knows how much I missed my best friend, and he’s making sure I have time to say hello.

  He spoils me.

  “Come on, I want you to officially meet the guys.” I tug on her arm, leading her up the steps. As soon as I reach the top step, Kacen snakes his arm around my waist and places a kiss on my temple. He’s been touching me every chance he gets. I’m sure this is his way of showing Stacy where he stands.

  “Stacy, or should I call you Lynn?” Kacen smirks at her.

  Not missing a beat, she says, “Stacy will do. I only use Lynn when my best friend wants to pretend she’s someone she’s not to get enough courage to spend some time with a tall, tatted, and tempting man she meets at the beach.”

  I can feel my face turn crimson as Cole and Kacen throw their heads back with laughter. �
�I don’t care what I call her as long as she stays where she is,” he says, referring to me.

  “Glad to see you’ve staked your claim.”

  “Always, I’m a man who goes after what he wants.”

  “Uh . . . Ahem,” Cole clears his throat, trying to volley for attention.

  “Stacy, this is Cole. He’s the lead guitar player for Soul Serenade. Cole, this is my best friend, Stacy. He’s the one you were dancing with at the bar.” I remind her even though I know she knows. I can tell from the look in her eye.

  “Hey,” Cole says and my mouth drops open.

  “He appears to be awestruck. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that happen,” Kacen whispers in my ear.

  “Stacy, let’s go catch up. Kacen is going to throw some steaks on the grill, and I made potato salad, and the baked beans are in the crockpot.”

  She waves to the guys and we head into the house. “This place is gorgeous,” she compliments.

  “Yeah, it really is. The entire property is. Kacen and I had a picnic earlier this week out by the pond.”

  “Oh, really? Sounds like you and I have lots catching up to do.” She grins.

  “You have no idea.”

  We spend the next forty-five minutes sitting in the living room catching up. I hear the guys in the kitchen, but I know Kacen won’t let them bother us.

  “So, have you told him you love him?” she asks me.

  “Um, well, I haven’t even told you,” I reply.

  “Please,”—she waves her hand in the air—“I can see it written all over you. He makes you happy. From the way you talk about him, he treats you right, so what are you waiting for?”

  “Well, if you must know—”

  She cuts me off. “I must.” She laughs.

  “Well, as I was saying, I plan to tell him tonight that I want whatever he’s offering. I don’t think I’m quite ready to tell him I love him, but I want to be with him. I want to see where this takes us.”