Edge of Desire

by Jessica Marin

  I roll to my side to avoid crushing her, wrapping my arms around her so that we can cuddle side-by-side together. As I brush the hair out of her face, her eyes slowly open, shining with love.

  I should be scared by the sight of it, but instead, I bask in it, hoping I am not too damaged enough to love her back.

  19

  Cora

  It has been one week since I checked into this hell hole of a treatment facility, with one more week of hell to endure. The first week they took away our cell phones and computers in order for us not to have any contact with the outside world. Instead, they wanted us to focus on intense therapy, identifying the root of our anger and what outside, unrelated forces, trigger it.

  I feel my anger is pretty self-explanatory once you hear my case.

  I was abandoned by my father.

  My mother hates me and uses me for money.

  The man I want is in love, and now married, to someone else.

  The one man I could’ve had, I pushed away and now doesn’t seem to want me either.

  I have no friends who care about me.

  No one in my industry takes me seriously.

  To sum it up, my life is pretty depressing.

  This week, we are supposed to focus on how to handle each situation when our anger is triggered, and focus on what makes us happy.

  A life with Cal Harrington is still the only idea that makes me happy.

  I wait in line to get my cell phone since today is the first day that we are allowed to have them back. I ask to bum a cigarette from another attendee, grab my phone when my turn is up, and walk outside to hear my messages. I wait with anticipation as I turn my phone back on, a smile playing on my lips to see the numerous texts and phone calls I have missed.

  I had only missed one call and one text. Both from my agent, Philip.

  Not one call or text from my mother.

  Not one call or text from Cal.

  Not even a call or text from Sean.

  Disappointment and rage fill me with the realization that no one cares about how I am doing here. I take a couple of deep long breaths and call Philip back.

  “Cora! How ARE you?” Philip asks, sounding genuinely sincere. Of course he cares about me - I make him money. “I was getting worried about you when I hadn’t heard from you, so I called the facility and they explained that you weren’t allowed to have your phone.”

  Knowing that he checked up on me brightens my mood somewhat. I force myself to smile and make my voice softer so he thinks I am in a state of calmness.

  “Philip, I’m so good. This place has been amazing so far. How are you doing? Thank you for checking in on me.” I pretend I am one of those Stepford wives, my voice monotoned and pleasant all in one.

  “Of course I was going to check in on you. I’ve got some great news for you!” He says with excitement, making my heart speed up at the hopes it’s a new endorsement deal. “I received a phone call two days ago from the office of His Royal Highness, Prince Khalid Rashid al-Hamad, who is requesting your presence at one of his lavish state dinners next month in Qatar.”

  “Remind me why this is good news and why I would even consider attending?” I question, wondering if Philip has lost his damn mind. I have heard of some Hollywood actresses being offered an all expense paid trip to the wealthy countries of the Middle East in exchange for the publicity. Some of them come back happy, some of them haven’t come back at all.

  “The good news is that this Prince is quite handsome and photos together would gain a lot of attention. The reason why you would even consider this is that he’s offering you a million dollars for your appearance.” I inhale sharply, shocked at such a large amount for just showing up to take some photos. Skepticism creeps in as to why the large sum and quite frankly, why me.

  “I don’t know about this, Philip. How long would I have to be there and what do they want me to do?”

  “It would only be for three days and there are various parties he would like you to attend as his date. I researched him, and not only is he handsome, but has a reputation of being fair and mild mannered compared to his older siblings. I will send over to you what I found, along with photos of him. They want a decision made within forty-eight hours though.”

  “Why so quickly?” I wonder, the thought of traveling to the Middle East by myself unsettling me.

  “They want time to be able to talk to other actresses if you turn them down.” His answer makes sense and I agree to think about it as the money would help.

  “Any other news? Any movies or new endorsements? Television deals?”

  “Unfortunately, not yet. I’m trying though. Had a good meeting with Paramount last week and put some visions in their head that included you as their lead for the future movies they have lined up. Oh hey, I need to take this call that is coming in. Call me when you have made your decision.” He hangs up on me before I can say goodbye. I will give his offer some thought after I do a little investigating of my own.

  Speaking of investigating, I call Danny Salari next to find out what new information he has for me from his week of spying on Cal and Sean.

  He greets me as if he’s already bored talking to me, not even asking me how I am feeling. “Tell me something that’s going to make me happy, Danny,” I purr, deciding to be nice to him for once. Maybe I can even muster up some gratitude for him doing so much of my dirty work for me.

  “Well, don’t have much on Cal this week since he just got back from screwing his new wife’s brains out in Bora Bora all last week. Sean Lindsey keeps being photographed out with their nanny. Looks like they are dating as they have been seen holding hands and kissing.”

  “I told you I wanted happy fucking news, not news that is going to make me want to slit my wrists!” I scream into the phone, my blood pressure now through the roof after hearing this news.

  “If you want happy news, keep your phone off then, because there is nothing I got that you’re going to like since you want to destroy other people’s happiness,” he says matter-of-factly, making me wish I never called him in the first place.

  “Fuck you, Salari! Keep those threats going to Jenna and make sure you’re ready for our trip to Europe in two weeks.” I hang up and throw my phone as hard as I can into the grass, wishing it would shatter into a thousand pieces since nothing good came out of it today.

  I start to pace, needing my nerves to calm down so I can think of what I need to do next. After a couple of minutes, I pick up my phone, sit down on a bench and take a couple of deep breaths to get myself under control before I have to report back inside. I only have one week left here and then another week left to prepare for the press tour. I take one last big inhale of my cigarette and stub it out on the ground.

  It’s time, for once, to make myself happy.

  Winning Cal Harrington is going to be the only thing that brings happiness back into my life.

  It’s time to get serious and prepare how to make that happen.

  Just the thought of having something to scheme makes me smile, as I get up and go back in for lunch.

  Who says it doesn’t feel good to be bad?

  20

  Isla

  I am sitting with Jenna in her bedroom, trying to help her pack up the children’s suitcases as we start our journey to London tomorrow for the press tour. The past three weeks have been a blur with my days occupied with the children, while my nights are occupied by Sean and his sinful mouth and addictive body. He has completely consumed me, heart and soul, making me happier than I have ever been.

  It has been a dream, one that I don’t want to wake up from.

  A dream that I am scared will be crushed once we see Cora Gregory again.

  I know he has been in communication with her as his face changes every time he reads a message from her. She is constantly texting him and every time he smiles at something she says, a new crack forms in my heart. Even though his attention is only diverted by her for a short amount of time, it is enough for her to w
easel her way back into his heart.

  My head tried to warn my heart that this might happen and as each ticking second gets closer to that press tour, dread starts pouring in, whispering that he might not be mine to keep. That I need to be able to walk away if he decides he wants her instead of me.

  I haven’t told him that I love him, but I know he can see it in my eyes. I don’t expect to hear those words from him yet, but each moment we spend together, each moment that he’s inside me, is another moment that I fall harder for him. I wish I could say that I trust in us, but without confirmation that his heart is mine, I fear we are too fragile to withstand the destruction that Cora is bound to unleash.

  “Earth to Isla, are you listening to me?” I snap my attention back to Jenna, who’s looking at me with a bemused smile. “You okay, over there? You look like you were having an argument with yourself.”

  “Sorry, just have a lot on mind,” I tell her with a smile. Although Jenna knows exactly the kind of person Cora is, she didn’t have to deal with the uncertainty of Cal’s feelings for her.

  “Are you just feeling overwhelmed by attending the premiere with Sean?” I felt mixed emotions when Sean asked me to be his date. Excitement that he wanted me there with him on his big day, but apprehension at being in close proximity to Cora. Fortunately, Jenna will be there with Cal and was actually happy that Sean asked me to go. She made arrangements for Cal’s family to watch the kids and her and I had our final dress fittings with Kellan last week. Sean asked me to be his date for the rest of the premieres, but I told him I didn’t want to overstep my bounds by asking for too much time off, especially since I will be spending my week off in Ireland with him once the European leg of the press tour is over with.

  “Something like that. I honestly have no idea what to expect and am getting nervous about it.” I smile politely at her and continue helping her fold clothes into the suitcase.

  “Is this really about the premiere or is this something else?” She gives me a look of understanding and I can’t hold back my dam of emotions any longer.

  “I don’t have a good feeling about Cora being around.” I look down and fiddle with Avery’s sock, not wanting Jenna to see the tears in my eyes. “I don’t know why I am feeling this way and Sean has not given me any reasons to be worried about.”

  “Oh Isla,” she sighs and puts down Brooks’ pants to squeeze my hand. “You are in a new relationship with someone who is internationally famous. It is a world much bigger than you and I could ever dream about. You are feeling insecure and with the past history between Sean and Cora, I can’t blame you for feeling that way. I would probably be feeling the same as you do.”

  “You would?” I look up at her, a lone tear falling down my cheek. Without hesitation, she takes her index finger and wipes it away, sympathy etched onto her face as she looks in my eyes.

  “Stay confident and true to you, Isla. Fight for Sean if you feel he’s worth it, but don’t let her see you hesitate. If she sees any cracks in your armor, she will come after it and keep picking at it until it is unrepairable.” I nod my head slowly at her in comprehension. She pats my hand and resumes folding Brooks’ clothes. “I am here for you whenever you need to talk, Isla.”

  I give her a weak smile, taking comfort in knowing that I have her to talk to. I decide to ignore my feelings, telling myself that I am being ridiculous and to not worry about something that may not even happen. Who knows, maybe Cora is getting better in treatment and that I should be more sympathetic to what she is going through? I believe in second chances and maybe Cora deserves hers?

  But some nagging feeling inside me screams to be aware.

  “Mind if I join you?” I look up from staring into the running water coming out of the facet to see Sean standing in my doorway. I am not surprised to see him here since we don’t hide our relationship from anyone anymore and he comes and goes from my room as he pleases now. I haven’t seen much of him today since he was busy preparing for his trip with phone interviews and meetings, so I was eagerly anticipating his attention. But tonight at dinner, when I saw him staring at his phone again, reading something from her, I knew I had to get away and be alone with my thoughts. As soon as the kids were done eating, I volunteered to get them ready for bed. Once that was accomplished, I then went straight to my room and decided a nice, relaxing steam bath was in order, hoping it would clear my thoughts away. I didn’t get very far in that process when Sean arrived.

  “Of course I don’t mind.” I can’t help smiling at his excitement and how quickly he takes his clothes off to join me in the bathtub. As soon as he gets in, water splashes over the edge, creating a rather large puddle.

  “Oops,” he says with a sheepish grin. “Let me put down some extra towels.” He gets back out and grabs two extra towels from under the sink and lays them out on the floor next to the tub to soak up the water. He gets back in and I shriek out in laughter at the huge tidal wave of water that escapes from the tub when he sits down. I open my legs to accommodate him as he situates himself on top of me.

  “Hmm, how I’ve missed you today,” he murmurs as his lips meet mine in a heart searing kiss. I moan and kiss him back just as ardently as he is kissing me. We continue like this for minutes before he starts kissing his way down my neck to claim one of my nipples. I arch my back as he uses his tongue to tease and torture my sensitive bud. Wanting to give him as much pleasure as he is giving me, I rub my hands down his hard abs until I find his hard erection against his belly. I take it in my hand and start squeezing it, rubbing it up and down, imagining how good it is going to feel inside of me.

  “Did you miss me, baby? Did you miss the feeling of me inside of you?” His husky voice asks as he moves from one breast to the other to give both of them equal attention.

  “Yes,” I moan as his lips latch onto my other nipple, waves of desire drowning out my earlier fears. The need to have him inside me to feel that connection that we have when we are together grows stronger, demanding that I satisfy my hunger for him.

  “Switch positions with me,” I demand when I can’t take the yearning for him anymore. More waters splashes over the edge of the tub as I slide out from underneath him to now be the one on top. I brace one hand against the tubs edge and guide myself down onto his hard cock. I hiss as he slowly fills me, stopping when I am completely full of him. I slowly start rocking my hips back and forth, the motion making the tiny space of the tub turn into a wave pool. His mouth is wide open, his eyes hooded with passion as he watches our bodies be connected as one.

  I increase my speed, rocking faster and faster, the build up of my orgasm getting stronger and stronger. I grip the sides of the tub and tighten my thighs against his hips as I rub myself harder and faster against him. I watch his face start to contort into ecstasy as his orgasm hits, making mine explode inside of me. He grabs my hips, grinding the last of his release in me. I breathlessly fall against him, wrapping my arms around his neck and place my head against his chest.

  I listen to his heartbeat’s pulse slowly come back down to normal and pray that it never beats like that for anyone else ever again.

  21

  Sean

  Anticipation is buzzing through my veins, making my heart pump exceedingly fast with adrenaline. It isn’t because we are in the limo, heading to Leicester Square for the world premiere of our new blockbuster movie. No, that is no big deal in my world. My anticipation is racing on revealing to the whole world who my girlfriend is.

  And then finding a bathroom so I can have my way with her.

  Isla rendered me speechless with her beauty when I met her in Cal and Jenna’s suite at our hotel. Kellan got both women ready together, working his magic in outfitting them in luxurious dresses that mold their bodies to perfection. Not that he needed much magic, as both women are exquisite without all the makeup and hair extensions.

  Isla is wearing a black lace, form fitting, floor length dress with a low neck line and thigh high slit to show off her shapely legs. I
approve of this trend and hope it stays in fashion for a very long time as it gives me easier access to some of my favorite parts on her. She keeps looking down at her breasts and patting her fingers on the fabric, making sure her double sided tape is still there. I can’t help but smile at how cute her nervousness is. If there weren’t so many people in the car with us, I would check the tape myself for her.

  The car pulls up to the curb of our destination, the red carpet and bright lights drawing our attention. One of the event staff comes to the window to see our credentials before checking us in and instructing us on the order of the procession line. Cal quickly kisses Jenna before they make their way out first. Isla and I watch as they walk hand in hand down the line to the first marker for photos. They take a couple shots together and then Jenna moves to the side for Cal’s solo shots. My gaze moves past them and notices a tall woman, wearing a red dress almost identical to the red carpet on the floor, getting her photo taken. I take a closer look and suck in my breath as I recognize the woman as none other than Cora Gregory. I almost have to do a double take because I barely recognize her. While the color of her dress is attention grabbing, it is modest in style compared to Cora’s previous red carpet appearances. She is wearing a halter top dress that crosses around her neck, with the remaining part of the dress reaching the floor. Her hair is down in waves, as opposed to her usually off the face style. I wait to see if my body reacts and smile in happiness when nothing happens. In the past, my dick would have been standing to attention at the sight of her, my heart racing with hope that tonight would be the night that she finally sees me, and not just through me. But none of those old feelings come up to the surface, confirming what I was finally feeling.