by K. S. Adkins
“Tell me you want to live.”
Refusing to play his game, he nods accepting my silence and steals yet another piece of me away. Losing count of how many times I came from his skilled mouth, I shut my eyes and if I came again after that I was none the wiser.
As if I wasn’t struggling enough, when sleep finally came, I didn’t dream of Alan and that shamed me to my core.
She’s been out for hours. It’s a good thing she passed out giving me a break, because I was positive I had lock jaw. My tongue spent more time attacking her pussy in one night than it has eating ice cream and I love ice cream. Until her, I’d man up and tell you I wasn’t even all that good at easting pussy but feasting between her legs changed that. There was nothing better than my face between her legs. While she slept, I looked at her phone again and the woman had about a thousand apps. Most were of banks and she kept herself logged into those accounts. Naturally, I read the history and saw that in the last two days alone she’s moved millions.
Not hundreds, millions.
All to charity.
I read that she was generous but damn. Opening her email, I see she’s also updated her living will. I don’t know what the updates were just that attorney said he handled it. I’m not all that savvy with business but I do have common sense. If you asked me what I thought she was doing, I’d tell you she was putting her affairs in order.
“What you’re doing is akin to fraud.”
Setting it on the nightstand, I don’t respond to her. Bet may act like she’s not into this but she is. She gets wet and stays wet, for me. Even in her sleep if I touched her lightly her lips got wet instantly. Staying quiet, I open her up again and when her breath catches I look up and see the want on her face. You can’t hide that look when what you want that badly is within reach, even if you’re scared of it. Leaning in again, I’m just about to start up when she whispers, “Please don’t, Rio.”
“Tell me you want to live.”
Squeezing her eyes shut I can see the life there. She’s over flowing with it. She’s stubborn, I’ll give her that but she can’t fight this and neither can I. The suns not up; I have no clue what time it is either. When I was spying on her phone I didn’t look at the clock because it doesn’t matter. Time means shit to me. Getting her to see that life was worth living was.
“You can stop all this, little Bet,” I whisper as I kiss her inner thigh, “Just tell me the truth.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because the truth hurts too much.”
“The truth is your family is gone, they ain’t coming back. Quit finding reasons to die and find new ones to live.”
“That was cruel,” she whimpers.
“That was the truth,” I remind her “bad shit happens to good people, always has, always will. It’s just you and me here in this room, ain’t a damn thing wrong with wanting to move on.”
“You can give me a thousand orgasms but that doesn’t mean any moving on I do will involve you. I vowed to honor my husband to the day I die. Fuck you for not respecting that.”
“Fuck you for not making a little more room in that shell of a heart you got. I ain’t asking you to stop loving him, which I noticed you didn’t say. You said honor, not love which we’ll get into later. I ain’t asking to take his place, Bet; I’m asking you to open yourself up to the chance to try again. A chance with me. Don’t you believe in second chances?”
“Don’t ever speak of love to me again, ever!” she screams and thrashes “I don’t want to live, I don’t want to suffer, I don’t want love and I don’t want you!”
Laughing in earnest because she is so full of shit, I shut her up quick by rolling her to the side and spanking her ass. When she gasps but makes no move to fight. I do it twice more. “You do want me,” I tell her turning her back over. Then pulling my dick back out, I straddle her face. “You want this dick, too.”
“If it wasn’t yours it would be someone else’s. The only bonus is with you is, it’s free.”
“Fuck, you got a mouth on you,” I laugh as I inch closer, “How about we shut you up for a bit? You’re a terrible liar, little Bet. Now open up.”
She doesn’t open up. Nope. She sets her lips in a hard line refusing to take what I’m offering. Well, only one way to learn a lesson, I suppose. In that moment my dick was the happiest appendage on earth.
Son of a bitch.
How can I command a board room but not one stubborn man? He doesn’t listen; he just pushes and pushes until I snap. He doesn’t believe me when I tell him I’m done, I want out. He just laughs at me. Yes, I want his dick but he doesn’t need to know that. Christ, his dick is all I can think about. But I wasn’t begging for it, not today, not tomorrow, not ever.
Refusing to open my mouth, he keeps his hard veiny dick in one hand and squeezes my jaw open with the other. He wasn’t hurting me because he’s not a sadist, he’s doing the alpha thing and dammit it’s working. No woman I know could have a dick like this within sucking distance and not want to swallow it. So when my mouth opens wide, he sinks his hand into my hair and guides my head up. He wants his dick sucked? I’m about to show him he made a fatal mistake. I’m like the Jet Li of oral favors.
Rio just fucked himself.
Filling my mouth up, he stretches both corners to the point of splitting. I didn’t mind this. I wanted this so badly my mouth was starting to fill with enough spit for a dozen blow jobs. Wrapping my lips around him I suck him in deeper. He tries his best to slow me down, give me a chance to adjust to him filling my mouth but it wasn’t needed. With my wrists still bound to either side of the bed, I improvised by sucking him extremely hard and not letting go. Getting him to that spot that bordered on gagging, he tries to withdraw but I bear down and start to swallow.
“My dick looks right in your mouth,” he says as he watches my neck muscles strain to keep up. Deciding not to hold back any longer he starts to fuck my throat with aggression. “Gag on it,” he orders me, “Learn your lesson.”
I gagged on it, alright. Jesus, it was almost more than gagging; it was like being impaled and for some reason I loved it. “That’s my girl,” he praises me, “You ain’t never gonna swallow again and not think of me, are you?”
Looking up at him, I was awe struck. Sexually, there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him and I was too wound up to think about my emotions. Without permission a memory of Alan surfaces quickly and I couldn’t stop it. It was when we were having sex, I wanted to ride him and he said another time. Not taking no for answer, I tried to blow him but he stopped me then, too. “Your mouth is too beautiful for that, Bet. I want my tongue in your mouth, not my penis.”
Swear to God, he lost me at penis. Yes, I managed to have sex and it was like it always was…gentle. That was the first time I wished that he would let go with me and was angry when he wouldn’t. Then I immediately felt like a whore for having the thought and never asked him for anything like it again. Right now, with Rio’s dick stretching my throat and testing my limits I actually felt…loved.
He was bringing out in me the very thing I thought I’d lost forever yet never really had until him…
Freedom to be myself.
With renewed fever, I went at him with every ounce of lust I had in me. Though I wouldn’t say it aloud, this was my way of saying thank you. “Gonna come,” he yells pulling my hair and sliding down the back of my throat with ease. I felt his shaft contract and started swallowing eagerly waiting for my reward.
When I got it, it shredded me.
Because for a few moments, I had a part of Rio inside of me and I knew right then… I wanted more. I had to have more, if I wasn’t so fucked up, I’d ask for all of him.
I’d even fucking beg for it.
After hands-down the best orgasm I’ve ever had in my life, I briefly untied her and let her use the bathroom. She didn’t fight me when she came back out. Nope. She walked back into the room, crawled on the bed and held her arms out allowi
ng me to tie her down again. Making her some coffee, I watched her sip it while I held the cup. Then I fed her a fruit plate and she ate every last bite. Twice she sucked my fingers into her mouth to get the juice and she was as turned on by it as I was.
Had I made progress? Maybe, but until she said the words I wasn’t releasing her. I have four more days to change her mind and I didn’t think keeping her tied up all them days was the smartest way to go. I was running out of time and ideas. She dozes in and out of sleep for about an hour until she goes into a deep rest. A few hours after that, she woke me when I caught her in the middle of a nightmare.
“Indie,” she cries in her sleep, “Wake up for mommy!”
Trying to calm her, I run my fingers over stomach and when she continues to cry I don’t stop her. She holds too much shit back. The woman needs to get it out. “Mommy’s sorry.” She quiets some then her body tenses and she lets out such a wail I covered her mouth with my hand.
“Bet,” I say forcing her to wake up, “Enough.”
Gasping for air she looks over at me and then closes her eyes. “Shit,” she whispers hanging her head, “Sorry.”
“Ain’t no shame in missing your girl,” I tell her while I move her damp hair from her face, “She had a mom that loved her, lucky kid.”
“I want her back,” she whispers and my heart kicks when I see she wants the use of her hands to hide herself. I hate it, but I can’t let her do it. “I’d give anything to have her back. I want to die so I can find her. I need to be with her, God I just want to be with her.”
“She ain’t coming back, little Bet,” I remind her gently. “I don’t know why shit happens like it does but this is something you gotta face. Dying isn’t going to fix this, you know that. I won’t let you take the easy way out.”
I wait for her to demand that I untie her, but she doesn’t. Instead, she slowly lies back down and I watch as the tears run freely out of the corners of her eyes. Wiping them away with my fingers, I lean down and kiss her mouth gently. “If I had a mom like you growing up, my life would have been easier. I wasn’t given that chance and neither were you when she was taken from you but, you’re still here. I gotta believe there’s a reason.”
“I think God forgot about me.”
“Or maybe you were spared so you could save me.”
“You don’t need saving. Therapy maybe, people skills definitely, but you don’t need saving.”
“A lot of shit you don’t know about me, Bet. Why don’t I tell you a few stories, let you decide.”
“Your past isn’t going to change my mind about you, I told you that.”
“Give me the chance to tell you some things, alright?”
Nodding to me, she puts her head on my chest while I spend the next few hours giving her all the reasons to run but still hoping she’ll stay.
I wanted Bet to know who I really was and maybe during the process I’d find out too.
Listening to Rio tell me about his life was comforting. He wasn’t lying, he had a very colorful past but I still don’t see him as a bad person. He admits to using women, stealing and even killing two men when he was only nineteen. Turns out he wasn’t facing jail time for murder but for running drugs. However, a fellow thug higher up on the food chain helped him out and then he ran into Senior and he was given his fresh start.
I wouldn’t judge him for surviving. In fact, I was pretty proud that despite the odds, he did.
When he asked me if my wrists hurt, I told him the truth. No, they didn’t. I wasn’t ready to tell him that I wanted to stay like this because I knew he’d take that knowledge and flip it around on me. But I did want to stay like this because having someone else take control for once felt fucking awesome. He fed me, pleasured me, and though he still tries to convince me to live, I was enjoying his company while I had it.
Who am I kidding? I enjoyed him, period.
“You stayed straight to make them proud, didn’t you?”
“Yeah,” he says quietly, “I owed them big.”
“Are you still straight?”
“Define straight,” he says playing with my hair, “It’s like any addiction, Bet, it’s always there wanting to pull you back down. You hunger for it, can’t help it. I ain’t smart like you, but I do have skills. They just aren’t in your kind of business.”
“Explain what an enforcer does,” I ask. When he told me he was an enforcer for a bookie (Junior), I was intrigued. He’d told me some but once he got going I wished I’d gotten into the betting business. Seriously, it sounded like fun.
I was a workaholic no two ways about it, but it wasn’t fun. Rio could convince people to anything he wanted them to do, I’m proof of that. In my life, I’ve never done anything I didn’t want to do, yet here I am. Our time together would run out, I knew that but I didn’t want to say goodbye even though it was unavoidable. Here in this tiny room hours away from real life, I saw the potential between us. The reality was my life and his were very different, not only because our professions were miles apart, but that I was still pretty intent on ending things.
If anyone could convince me to stick around though, it’s him. However, even if I did manage to say the words how long until I changed my mind? Money can buy you a lot of things, but peace isn’t one of them. Lying here in total quiet I want to say the words, but I can’t. What if I’m only a project? Someone he wants to help, not someone he wants a future with? I wasn’t big on being a charity case. I funded charity cases, I had no intentions on becoming one.
“Ever think about trying again?”
“Trying what again?” I ask.
“Having kids,” he says tickling my arms, “You’re young, you know, maybe it would help give you closure.”
“No,” I tell him bluntly, “I’m not replacing Indie with another kid.”
“We ain’t exactly been careful,” he reminds me, “There’s a chance you could get knocked up.”
“People still say knocked up?” I ask, “Change the subject, alright? No kids.”
“What about marriage?”
“Jesus!” I growl, “What is with you? No! No marriage, no kids, nothing. By this time next week I’ll have a pathetic obituary and a funeral no one comes to, okay? That’s my future, try paying attention when I speak.”
“When you said husband at the bar, I saw something, Bet. Felt it, just like you did. What if I want to be your future?”
I’d had enough. Fuck, he was pushy and though I wouldn’t admit it, I was beginning to see a future with him too. “If I had a dick I’d shove it in your mouth to shut you up.”
“If you had a dick---” he begins then pauses. “Hell, if you had a dick, I probably wouldn’t even care. It might take some getting used to but I could get down with it.”
“Ew.”
“You’re hot, little Bet,” he says squeezing my breast, “A hot chick with a dick is better than an ugly chick with a decent pussy. You ain’t gotta get it but it’s playing out in my head and I ain’t all that upset about it.”
I couldn’t help it, I laughed. Not just a little bit either, full on snorting took place. Settling down, I watch the crinkles at his eyes and wish I’d met him years ago. I wanted to be responsible for some of those crinkles. “What’s your full name?” I ask.
“Ricardo Martin.”
Blinking, I feel it coming on and no doubt this is old hat for him but I couldn’t help myself. “This is just too easy. I can’t believe it, this never happens to me. Ricardo Martin? What’s JLo like in person?
“Yeah, Ricky Martin jokes never get old,” he dead pans, “Why don’t you see the world with all that money you got? Why hide?”
“I never had anyone to see it with,” I admit, “Seeing it alone didn’t appeal to me.”
“If you could go anywhere, where would it be?”
“I’m happy where I am right now.”
“Of course you are,” he says looking me up and down. Running his hand over his dick and squeezing he looks back at me again.
“You got this hard dick at your disposal so I can’t blame you. But, if you could have this anywhere in the world where would you take it?”
“I want a boat,” I blurt. I couldn’t stop staring at his hand holding what I wanted to hold.
“A boat’s a good start,” he says rubbing harder to hold my attention. “Where would you take this boat?”
“Anywhere you told me to.”
“You need this, little Bet?” he asks sliding his free hand to cup his balls. “You need some dick?”
“I need your dick,” I pant, “Now.”
“Tell me you want to live.”
“No.”
“Then the only one getting this dick is me, but I’ll let you watch.”
The son of a bitch actually straddled me giving me no choice but to lie there and watch him get himself off. We both enjoyed it at first, but I was only going to be patient for so long.
Ricky Martin was about to live la vida loca for real.
She’s a stubborn female, I’ll give her that.
She wants this dick and she wants to live. She may not say it, but I can see it. Each time I push she fights me on it. My woman wants a boat, to set sail and be free and all she has to do is say the damn words. With my knees on either side of her, I work myself over with her heated cheeks as a catalyst. I slap her tits with it, I run it over her lips and when I try to pull back she uses her legs to bring me closer. No woman has ever wanted me like she does. We’ve been getting each other off for days. We both need to fuck, but fucking her would be too easy. To make this work, she needed to suffer just long enough to give in. When the time comes, I’m making love to her, nothing less. If that doesn’t do it, nothing will.
“Would you just fuck me already?”
“I’m just getting started, little Bet,” I say slapping her with it again, “But all you gotta do is say the---”
