Beautiful

by Kiexiza Rodriquez

“He is in really bad shape, Malcolm. I’m really scared,” Tierra said, through tears, as she laid her head Malcolm’s shoulder.

  “I’m sure his family is pulling for him. He seems to have a lot of people by his side all the time,” Malcolm responded, rolling his eyes safely out of the view of Tierra.

  She could tell by his callous tone, that he was being insincere. She looked at him with disbelief. “Malcolm? Please tell me that you’re not jealous of all the time I’ve been spending at the hospital?”

  “Jealous? I definitely wouldn’t say that. Malcolm Turner has never, and will never be jealous over any man. It’s just that you haven’t had any time for me lately, so what do you expect me to feel? When we do speak on the phone or see each other, you’re not really there. You’re always zoned off.”

  “I can’t believe what I’m hearing? My best friend was hit by some jerk, who just ran into him and just drove off like he ran over a curb. He should have been dead, but by the grace of God he is holding on. And, my man, the one I should be able to count on to be my strength, is jealous and mad because I haven’t called him lately?”

  “I said I’m not jea…”

  Tierra stood to her feet, straight armed, palm flat, and fuming, “I’m exhausted, and my spirits are low. Somehow… somehow I find the strength to go into that room every day filled with joy and positivity. I pour all I have into his parents so they have something else to focus on,” she strained every word as she spoke. “Why in the hell would you even… I mean… how can you be worried about the amount of time we spend together, the lack of my focus on you? This time isn’t about you dammit! It’s about my friend and the fact that he needs everyone he has in his corner, so he knows he has something to come back to,” tears raced from her eyes down her cheeks, as she spoke. Her voice raised and octave slightly and her hands began to tremble. “If you were a real man Malcolm, you’d understand. You’d be supportive, and appreciative of a woman who doesn’t turn her back on a friend in need. Hell, if you really loved me like you claim you do, you’d be at that hospital a day or two with me!”

  “Hold up, so let me get this straight… I’m not a real man, because I want to spend more time with you? And, why would I go to the hospital to be near some guy I don’t know? That doesn’t even make any sense.”

  “You know what… forget it Malcolm. I can’t help if my mind is on whether or not Qu is going to live or not, and whether I will ever get to look in his eyes again. He is the only man I ever trusted besides my father, and he is lying in a bed hooked up like a freaking science experiment. He is slipping away, and all my prayers aren’t working. All you want is for me to give you my time?!” she picked up a vase off her living room table and threw it across the room. It crashed against the wall and slid down into a pile of scattered turquoise and orange pieces.

  Malcolm was surprised and pissed by the violent behavior he had just witnessed. Who did she think she was? “Well, when you say it that way, yeah, it sounds bad. I know one thing though, that throwing glass and shit around is not going to work for me. I need more from you. I get it. You’re hooked to this cat. But we are supposed to be building something here, and we can’t because you are emotionally wrapped up in this.”

  Tierra had enough she waved her hands in the air and walked out the room. The sound of the vase crashing had scared her tremendously. She didn’t know she had that kind of anger inside of her and she was in no rush to see what else would happen if he kept pushing. She rushed towards the kitchen to grab a drink. Malcolm rushed to her side and took her hand in his. He wrapped her in his arms and lifted her to the center island.

  “Ti listen,” he began, brushing her hair out her face. “I just want to spend more time with you. I want to continue on the road we began,” he smoothly stroked the side of her face with the back of his hand. “I asked you a question a little while back. I haven’t pushed you on it, but…”

  “Malcolm, with everything that has been going on I haven’t even really thought on it. I’m sorry.”

  Malcolm took a step back from Tierra and raised his voice a little. “Do you feel anything for me at all? Because if you don’t, I mean… it isn’t fair for you to string me along like this.”

  “It’s not that. Honestly, and don’t laugh, but you are my first real relationship, boyfriend, man, whatever you want to call it. I’m not sure what I feel, or what I’m supposed to feel. It’s been a little confusing and now with Qu…”

  He was tired of hearing this man’s name coming out of his woman’s mouth. In the hospital or not, he was taking up too much of her time that was supposed to be spent on him! There was no way Malcolm Turner was going to lose a woman to a man in a hospital bed! He placed his finger to her lips, and with a sly smile he whispered.

  “It’s ok.”

  He kissed her gently on her cheek, leaned back and stared in her eyes for a minute. He took her face in his hands and pressed his lips against hers.

  She was more than a bit surprise by his advance. But after a second or tow she allowed herself to kiss him back. Her body began to feel things it had never felt before, things she was afraid to feel. Malcolm lifted her from the countertop and carried her to her bedroom. He laid her on the bed, and leaned over her resuming his kiss.

  “Malcolm,” she whispered, as her body trembled beneath him.

  “Shhhh… It’s ok.”

  As they kissed, an eternity seemed to pass. Tierra wasn’t sure what she was feeling was right, because it felt very uncomfortable. Part of her wanted to stop, but wasn’t sure how, or if at this time she had the right to. In the midst of her confusion she felt Malcolm’s hand slide under her shirt. His kisses became more intense and his breathing was heavier. Sensations exploded all over Tierra’s body at his touch. Malcolm caressed her breasts through her bra, while continuing to kiss her. He smiled inside at the sound of soft moans releasing from her lips. But when he attempted to yank her bra trying to free her breasts, what should have been the beginning of a new and enjoyable experience, sent her back 10 years. It was the second time she was taken advantage of. She was college astudent and it was the first and last time she ever gave love a try. She went out on one date with a football player and after their evening ended she made her way back to her apartment. But she never made it, at least not the way she left. She never saw who her attacker was. He jumped her as she walked down the street, just a block from her college apartment. With nowhere to go and no one to hear her cries for help, again she was at the mercy of her attacker. And again she kept it quiet.

  Lying on her bed, Tierra was suddenly caught between yesterday and today. She screamed for her attacker to get off of her. Overcome with fear, she tried desperately to push Malcolm off of her. When he resisted she slapped his face.

  “Get off of me!” she screamed at the top of her lungs, still swinging.

  Malcolm grabbed her hands and squeezed tightly. “What the hell…? Have you lost your damn mind?” he asked angrily, rubbing his cheek. He rolled over and off of Tierra, and sat up on the end of the bed.

  He pulled her to him and forced her to sit up.

  “What the hell is with you?! I don’t get down like that Ti, don’t put your hands on me!” he demanded.

  Tierra was in a daze and remained quiet. She just sat on the bed zoned out.

  “Did you hear me?” he repeated, squeezing her wrists harder.

  “Huh, I’m sorry, Malcolm. I don’t know what happened? I can’t… I, I mean. Malcolm, please. You don’t understand…”

  “Tierra, I don’t know what to think. But I’ll tell you one thing, you got issues. I can’t believe you’d lead me on. You let me kiss you; take you to your bedroom, lay you down, and then you hit me? What the fuck?! What kind of game are you playing?”

  “Wait, wait!” she said snatching herself out of his grip. “What in the hell do you mean, I led you on? Really?! I don’t remember asking to be kissed. I don’t remember teasing you in any way. But you know what, if that’s what you think… then yo
u can just leave!”

  “Tierra, whatever is wrong with you, I hope you get it together real soon before I lose my patience with you.”

  “GET OUT!” she snapped, standing and pointing towards the front door.

  “Yeah aiight, just remember what I said,” he snickered; grabbing his crotch. He leaned in to kiss her cheek as he passed her, but she turned her head, with a look of disgust on her face.

  “Silly girl,” he laughed and walked away.

  As the door slowly closed and automatically locked behind him, she slid down on the floor in the hallway and soberly cried.

  A few minutes later her phone began to ring. She sprang to her feet, wiped her face and ran down the hallway to the living room. Though she missed the call, she saw it Shireece’s name on the caller id and immediately called her back.

  “You need to drop what you’re doing and come on in, ok,” Shireece’s voice was straightforward and emotionless, which told Tierra she was trying to not to make her nervous. She failed!

  Tierra asked no questions and informed Shireece she would be there right away. She cursed herself for listening to Malcolm. She knew she should have returned to the hospital. But she was trying to be a good girlfriend and look where that got her. This was why love was not on her radar!

  “If he’s gone, I’ll never forgive myself. I swear I’ll kill Malcolm…!” she told herself as she grabbed her keys and headed out the door, praying for once, her driver listen to her and take the rest of the day off.

  As she walked out the front door, she noticed Malcolm getting into his Limo and wondered what took him so long to leave the building. He paused and motioned for her to get in the car with him. She paid him no attention. She had called her driver as she walked to the elevator. He made her day by letting her know that he was just around the corner. As soon as she stepped out her building he was pulling up. She turned away from Malcolm and made her way over to her car and asked him to rush to her back to the hospital.