Wasted: A Single Daddy Rockstar Romance

by Andrea Smith

  Words that drift in and out;

  Promises that never count.

  Hate that starves this raging heart;

  Finish what we’ll never start.

  I was confused. Was he telling me something? Or, was I seeing things… things I wanted to believe were real?

  Finish what we’ll never start.

  Last night after practice, I could tell something was bothering Emmett. Slade even commented, and all he said was, ‘some things are hard to leave behind.’ And that’s when I knew he was worried about leaving Stacie while on the road. Maybe he wasn’t the hard-ass prick he pretended to be. Maybe there was more to Emmett than he allowed anyone to see.

  I totally cleared my mind of any thoughts of Emmett. I had so much more on my plate than to contemplate the what if’s and the why not’s of Emmett’s psyche.

  “Hey, Mom. How are you feeling today?”

  She was sitting in her favorite chair, next to the window where she liked to watch the birds eat from a feeder. I also placed a hummingbird feeder next to the window. She looked over at me and smiled.

  “I’m feeling a bit better today,” she said. Yet, there was that emptiness behind her eyes.

  “Hey, would you like to hear what we’ve been working on? I can sing it to you.”

  “You sing?” she asked, her forehead wrinkled in confusion. “I didn’t know that.”

  My heart broke. She knew I sang. “Yes, Mom. Remember how you would sing to me when I was young?”

  “Oh, yes. I loved to sing. Did I ever tell you how I met your father?”

  “Yes, Mom. You met him in a band you played in.”

  “That’s right. We were so in love. I was sitting in a bar in Nashville. This handsome young man was on stage. He couldn’t keep his eyes off me. Next thing I knew, he pulled me up on stage and together we sang ‘I Can Still Feel You.’ Oh, I loved that song by Collin Raye.”

  “That sounds so romantic, Mom,” I said, even though I had heard this same story a thousand times.

  Maybe it was better she couldn’t remember the rest. Only the good parts. Because, whoever my father was, he never stuck around. And when I thought of this, I thought of Emmett and Stacie. At least he was making good on his promise. But I couldn’t tell how he really felt about her.

  But it didn’t matter, because he was about to be a father.

  I reached for my guitar and began singing, Raging Heart, acoustic style and Mom tapped her foot to the tune, as my fingers picked at the strings, while the words picked at my heart. The smile on my mother’s face eased it a little. Maybe, as time went on, this might be the only way I’d be able to communicate with her.

  In these last few weeks, it seemed the only memory she had left was from the past. The days when she sang in a band.

  When I played and sang to her, I felt that was the only time she was really there with me. The songs she could recite without a thought. The places her band traveled, but then in the next sentence, she’d ask me where her own bathroom was.

  I wasn’t ready for this.

  A knock on the door stopped me from playing and I sat my guitar down to answer the door. It was Stacie.

  “Hey, Stacie. What’s up?”

  “I’m so fucking bored,” she said without thinking who else might be in the room. I looked back at my mother, who only went back to watching the birds in the feeder.

  “Have you heard from the band… er I mean Emmett?”

  “Oh, yeah. He just called a minute ago. I swear, he’s so fucking jealous. I mean, I know how he comes across so detached and indifferent to everybody around him, I think it’s the whole rocker thing, but in private? It’s all ‘You’re mine, Stacie. Keep my baby safe, Stacie. I’m horny for you, Stacie. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I totally adore him, but I don’t dare tell him that!”

  “Why wouldn’t you?” I asked, not masking my confusion.

  “Dear God, if I did that, he’d totally have the upper hand in our relationship. I may be young and naive, but I know that much. Besides, I kinda like his possessiveness which would disappear if I clued him in. And I think it’s kind of cute. You know he insisted on putting his brand on me?” she said, her eyes wide with disbelief.

  “Um… no,” I replied, “How does that work?”

  She turned around and pulled the waistband of her shorts down a bit to reveal a fairly fresh-looking tatt, “That’s how it works,” she said with a giggle. I saw the tramp stamp just above her ass crack.

  “Property of Rocky,” I said as I read the tattoo. “Who’s Rocky?”

  “Oh, it’s a little joke between us,” still giggling like she was about to share a big girl-to-girl secret. “That’s what I call his dick.”

  God! Her mouth just wouldn’t stop, and I noticed the kids playing five feet away from us in the yard of the trailer beside us began to laugh. I needed to get her off the subject, and out of earshot of the impressionable children.

  “Um… come on in. I was just playing a tune for my mom.”

  “Cool. Your mom likes to listen?”

  “Yes, she used to play in a band. I was just playing her the single we’re going to record, Raging Heart.”

  “Oh, yeah. Totally fucking love that song. You know, Emmett wrote that about us?”

  My heart jumped with pain. “Oh, really?” Now, I knew what the lyrics meant. It explained a lot.

  “Yeah, you know I think he has been hot for me for like… forever. And no one knows this, but we’ve been seeing each other secretly for like two years now. Since I was under age, we had to keep our fuck nights on the downlow. You understand. But one night, I told him, ‘hey babe, you’re gonna have to wrap up Rocky, I can’t be getting pregnant.’ But then he had an idea. He said if I got pregnant, then they couldn’t keep us apart. They would have to accept us being together.”

  She was talking a mile a minute, like I cared about her love life. And the fact that it was with Emmett, I sure as hell didn’t want to hear it. Did I?

  “Oh, you know you don’t owe me any explanation, Stacie, I mean that’s totally your and… Emmett’s private business.”

  “Oh, I know. But I wanted to apologize for how we first met and I told you all that shit about Emmett. I was just having a bad day. Pregnancy hormones are a bitch.”

  “Yeah, I guess they are, but I thought you were ready to leave him?”

  “Leave him?” She screeched out. “Oh, that will never happen. I may get mad as shit at him, but he’s my baby’s father. It’s his possessiveness that both drives me nuts but also flatters me. I told him to put the brakes on it in public, and he’s been pretty good about it since the big fight. I guess I should be thankful he is so devoted and all, but I keep telling him to focus on the group. I picture us living in the big time some day.”

  “Yeah, well I gotta say, he has the talent to make it big. His music is so unique and soulful. He did say he hated being away from home on this next leg of their tour. I think he must miss you while he’s on tour.”

  “He did?” she said, sounding surprised, “I mean, yeah, I can totally hear him saying that.”

  “Yes. Looked totally beaten.”

  “Yeah, he gets like that when they leave. But the minute he’s back, it’s like a total fuckfest in the bedroom. He can’t seem to keep his hands off me. As you can see,” she said holding her protruding belly.

  “For sure,” I said, trying like hell to match her enthusiasm. But it was hopeless. The more she talked about her and Emmett, the more I needed to keep my distance.

  “But hey, why do you guys have separate rooms?” I asked, genuinely confused.

  She waved her hand in the air dismissively. “Oh that, well he snores like a freight train so I have my chick cave for when I need to get some real rest. And the other bedroom is crammed with his shit, so I just put my clothes and belongings in the second bedroom. Som
etimes I just need a break from him, ya know?”

  “I guess,” I replied. “Haven’t really had a serious relationship for a few years. Guess I’m rusty on the particulars,” I replied with a smile. “But it seems like you’re definitely a lucky gal.”

  “Damn straight,” she replied, giving me a look that for once was serious and direct, “and I finally see my future and I’m not gonna let it slip away.”

  Chapter 14

  Twenty-six days on the road

  Carryin’ a heavy load;

  Every town just like the last;

  Look ahead but see the past.

  Missing is my shooting star;

  Strumming tunes on this old guitar.

  Hoping for some hopeless dream,

  Closing bars to let off steam.

  “Well, what’d ya think Coop?” I asked. “Can you put some music together for the verses? I can’t come up with a refrain just yet.”

  “Yeah, give me a few days. I’m beat, man. Sounds like an inspired tune, yeah?”

  I looked up at him where I’d been idly plucking some chords on my guitar to see if he was being a smart-ass. He didn’t seem to be, so I shrugged, “Guess I’m just getting a little burnt out here. These clubs aren’t exactly the venues I’ve dreamed about, ya know?”

  Coop popped open a cold beer and sat down next to me on the tiny concrete patio off our motel room in St. Louis. We were leaving tomorrow for the two-week stint in Chicago.

  “Yeah,” Coop replied after taking a long swig of his beer. “But you know, Brother, you have to crawl before you walk; you have to learn to fly before you soar with eagles, and you gotta learn to swim before you dive with dolphins–”

  I jabbed him in the side with my elbow before he could put another fucking idiom out there. “I get it!” I said, starting to laugh like a lunatic, “Stop already with your homegrown proverbs, dude. I totally get it.”

  He cocked a brow at me, “You need to let off some steam, Emmett. It’s like I don’t know you anymore, man. You’re like some virgin rock star. None of the chicks who are hanging on to your liking or what?”

  I shrugged. “The mood hasn’t hit me just yet. But you, Slade and Wayne seem to be doing all right.” I needed to get his focus off of me and my self-imposed celibacy. I couldn’t explain it to myself, so how in the fuck could I explain it to anyone else?

  Maybe Stacie’s barbs and bitching had totally turned me off to chicks. What he said was true enough; I’ve had my share of pretty hot chicks coming onto me, hell, they came on to all of us. I considered the possibility Ace’s presence was what’s cock-blocking me. I mean, I had no commitment to Stacie, and he knew it. Hell, he just as much confirmed it verbally the day we hit the road.

  But Ace didn’t cheat and, even though it wouldn’t be cheating for me, I just didn’t want to be judged. But hell, my resolve was running thin, so it was just a matter of time before I hooked up and then everything would be okay again. I’d grown fucking tired of rubbing one out in the showers of the cheap motel rooms we stayed in during this tour.

  “Hey,” Coop said, interrupting my introspection here, “I bet you’ll be desperate enough to do Stacie when she and Katie get to Chicago next week, eh? I bet her belly is huge enough she’ll have to cop the doggie pose, what do you think?”

  Coop laughed at his own conjecture because he always thought he was way funnier than he actually was.

  Fucker. My best friend, but still- fucker.

  “Fuck you, Coop,” I replied, putting my guitar back in the case. “I’ve already informed Wayne the chicks are bunking with him. He knows the score.”

  “Yeah?” Coop said, “Kind of cock blocking him with that one don’t you think? But hey, I gotta say, Ace is pretty chill about the whole situation. He’s been a great addition to Wasted.”

  “I agree,” I replied, “And if our demo goes well, I think Olivia will be another great addition to the group.”

  Coop took another swig of his beer. “Yeah, but you’re supposed to call her ‘Liv’ if we get the label, remember?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I remember.”

  We had a couple of quiet moments, and then Coop slapped a hand against his thigh. “That’s what this is all about! You’ve got Olivia on your mind, am I right, brother?”

  “The hell?” I asked, tossing him a glare. “You’re high, brother.”

  “The hell I am, Emmett,” he accused me with enthusiasm. “Shit, I should’ve seen it before. You’re taken with the chick. Hey, not that I blame you, I mean, fuck, the chemistry when you two are sharing the mic is pretty damn obvious.”

  I stood up and headed towards the bathroom. I felt a shower coming on and I wasn’t about to let one of Coop’s wild insinuations have any credence. “You know Coop, you’re like a chick with your wild imagination. Why don’t you use some of that creativity to come up with some chords to the song I’m writing, eh? I’m hitting the shower.”

  “Whatever, dude,” he replied with a chuckle. “Hey, while you’re in there rub one out for Liv!” He slapped his thigh again, laughing like a hyena on steroids because Cooper thought he had figured everything out, when I had yet to figure anything out.

  Chapter 15

  Olivia

  My car was about to overheat as I drove to the drugstore across town. Mom needed to have one of her meds filled and my old car was on its last leg. I was sure, driving it here all the way from Cincinnati took a toll on it.

  Better start looking for something more reliable, I thought. However, working part-time as a maid at the local Motel 6 wasn’t exactly making me bank.

  Better start looking for a new job, too. But I couldn’t work full-time. Mom was becoming worse. I hated to leave her alone for long periods of time.

  My cell rang and I pulled over to answer it. Also, to give my old car a rest. It was Stacie. Not exactly who I wanted to talk to. Maybe something happened on the road.

  “Hi Stacie. What’s up?”

  “Hey, my BFF, pack your shit. We are heading to Chicago.”

  “We?” I asked. “I thought Katie was going with you.”

  “No. She has to bow out. Andrew’s sick… or something. She’s not sure. She doesn’t want to leave him with someone or take him on the road.”

  “Well, I’m sorry, Stacie. I can’t leave my mother alone,” I explained, as if my situation should even need explaining. Stacie was selectively dense at times, I’d noticed.

  “Why? She just sits there and watches fucking birds,” she replied as if she was put out by my mother’s illness. It was hard as fuck to like this girl. She was trying my patience. I’d chalk it up to those crazy pregnancy hormones she kept yakking about.

  “Stacie, she has early-onset Alzheimer’s disease.”

  There was a brief pause. “She has what? You mean old-timers disease?”

  Err!

  “Yes, she’s losing her memory. I can’t leave her for that long. You’ll have to go without me.”

  But Stacie wasn’t one to be deterred. “Shit, I don’t really want to drive that far alone. Besides, Emmett will really worry about me and the baby.”

  “I’m sorry,” I sighed, “I don’t know what to tell you.”

  “Okay, hang on. I’ll call you back…”

  The line went dead. Now why in the hell was she gonna call me back? The girl obviously had issues with being told ‘no,’ was the only thing that came to my mind.

  Whatever.

  I dropped the phone down onto the seat and pulled back out onto the road. Just as I pulled into the parking lot at the drug store and shut the car down, my phone rang again. And again, it was Stacie.

  “Yeah?” I answered, and yes, I was being snippy because I was so not in the mood for this right now.

  “Hey, Olivia, guess what? It’s all worked out. Katie said she’d be happy to stay with your mom. Road trip, girlfrien
d!”

  Wait ... what?

  “Umm, Stacie? Katie doesn’t even know my mother, and my mother won’t know who the hell she is.”

  “So,” she continued as if that was of no consequence to her at all, “c’mon, please? I mean you said she can’t remember shit.”

  “Stacie, I can’t leave her with strangers,” I replied, climbing out of my car to head into the store.

  “She’s not a stranger–really. And besides that, Katie works part time as a nursing assistant at the nursing home over on Second Street. She only works two nights a week, and has the next four days off. C’mon, it’ll be fun, and I bet your mom won’t even care.”

  “That’s not the point, Stacie,” I snapped.

  “Please, please, please,” she whined, “and you know damn well you need a break. We’ll be gone two nights is all. I can’t go if you don’t come with me. I hate driving Emmett’s truck. It’ll be a great getaway for both of us!”

  Well, she had a point there. I was not scheduled to work at the hotel for the next few days. Katie did seem really sweet that day I met her at the audition. She was very supportive with her husband in a band. Not too many girls would be.

  “All right. You’ve talked me into it. When do we leave?”

  “Tonight.”

  Shit.

  “Here’s her box of scheduled pills. The times she takes them are written down on that piece of paper stuck to the fridge. She doesn’t like coffee, but she does drink tea.”

  I was giving Katie the fast version of how to care for Mom. It was a good thing I filled her meds today.

  “She’ll spend most of her time here watching the birds,” I continued, “so will you make sure the feeders are full? There’s a bucket in the shed outside.”

  “Okay, I think I got it, Liv,” Katie replied with a warm smile. “I think we’ll get along together just fine.”

  “Are you sure this will be okay?” I asked Katie.

  “Relax, Liv. It’s not a problem. I deal with this at the nursing home and, believe it or not, I have a pretty good rapport with my dementia patients. Each one is unique, and I recognize that. Besides, my own grandmother is suffering from the same problem. I’m pretty familiar with it.”