Lilac

by Reid, B. B.

  There I found Jericho dressed only in jeans and sitting on the lip of the bathtub centered in the room as he checked the temperature of the water pouring from the spout. Loren had shed only the top half of his wet suit and stood at the end of the tub, pouring a generous stream of bubble bath into the tub. I knew it had to be the source of the lavender aroma filling the room and not another new emotion I couldn’t name. Watching the tub fill, I felt my muscles ache at the promise of soaking them.

  Houston made short work of my two-piece, pulling the string at my neck and the ones at my hips until they both fell from my body and decorated the marble floor.

  “Bath’s ready,” Jericho announced when he was satisfied with the temperature of the water.

  Houston immediately lifted me off my feet bridal style before carrying me over to the tub. After placing me in the water, I realized just how deep the tub was. I was covered almost to my chin in warm, lavender-scented water.

  Houston accepted a bottle from Loren while Rich worked to wet my hair. I didn’t realize their intention until I felt Houston’s fingers in my hair, massaging my scalp with shampoo and making me moan as I tilted my head back.

  I hadn’t expected this when I said yes to them.

  Any of it.

  But I couldn’t say I wasn’t pleased.

  Loofah in hand, Loren lifted my left leg and gently began washing me. Rich disappeared from the bathroom for a minute or two, and when he returned, it was with a platter filled with fruit that he began to feed to me from his lounge beside the tub.

  It was never far from my lips to ask what brought this on, but for some reason, I never did. I shut up and let them dote on me as if it was always meant to be this way—as if we hadn’t hated each other once upon a time.

  Loren moved onto my other leg just as Houston began rinsing the shampoo from my hair and adding conditioner. Together, the trio worked in perfect harmony and comfortable silence. I blushed when I saw how dedicated they were to their tasks.

  Or maybe they were hoping I’d forget about the dare or have mercy on them.

  Not a chance.

  I was yawning uncontrollably by the time my skin was pruned and rubbed raw because the three of them were having too much fun to leave me be.

  Houston stood me up, Jericho wrapped me in a towel, and Loren carried me into the bedroom with the biggest bed. Once I was under the covers, I tried to pull him down with me for a quick nap, but he mumbled something about needing to shower. I pouted, causing him to smile and kiss my lips before placing my phone on the nightstand and walking away.

  I didn’t even know he had it.

  The door made a soft click when it closed behind him, but my eyes were already closed, so I didn’t watch him go. Everything felt good and hurt at the same time as I shuffled my feet and burrowed deeper under the cool, expensive covers with a satisfied sigh.

  I’d almost made it too.

  It would have been the nap of the century.

  But no.

  My phone played the specially assigned ringtone, “Dear God” by XTC, and the last person I expected was calling.

  Canceling a show mere hours before the start without demanding a reason why was a pretty accurate measure of how far I’d fallen.

  We were currently back on the private jet and headed to some town I’d never heard of called Faithful. I watched Braxton’s knee bounce rapidly before giving Loren and Rich the same quizzical look we’d been sharing since she told us she had to return to California.

  We tried to get answers, but she hadn’t been willing to give them. Our only option had been to watch her grab her shit, leaving us no choice but to grab ours the moment she darted out the door without an explanation.

  We could have made her stay and talk, but that anxious look in her eyes only turned mine up a few thousand notches. I’ve never been very empathetic, but how else could I explain leaving Xavier behind to manage the chaos and barking orders at Dani to arrange a last-minute flight?

  I didn’t bother to think about the phone call we’d be getting when it got back to the label that we’d missed a show. I didn’t care. The refunded tickets would come out of our meager cut, though it wouldn’t be enough for slimy, fucking Carl Cole.

  I sat back as we continued to make our way south and wondered how I got here. Seven, hell, three months ago, I would have never let Braxton pull the shit she did today.

  I was addicted to controlling everything around me.

  More so than her claim to be a sex addict.

  Braxton hadn’t torn apart her own life and her friends as well just to feed it.

  At this very moment, she wasn’t contemplating ruining a relationship still in its honeymoon stage, one that could eclipse all others, by ordering the plane around and heading back to Vancouver.

  I was.

  Feeling someone’s gaze, I looked away from the window I was staring through and found Loren watching me. The look in his raven eyes as he sat across from me was intense yet worried. Elbows braced on his strong thighs and hands clasped together at the set line of his mouth, he subtly shook his head.

  He’d read my mind and was telling me it wasn’t worth it.

  There would be other shows, but our chances with Braxton were limited. She was more important. Making sure she continued standing whenever life knocked her around was more important. Our mutual agreement to put her first always and never look back had been instinctual, so I knew my decision to keep moving forward well before I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.

  A few hours later, we were climbing inside the rental we had Dani arrange to be waiting for us when we landed. It was a thirty-minute drive from the airport to the town where Braxton grew up, and the moment I looked around, I felt a crawling sensation on my skin.

  Braxton hadn’t grown up with much.

  The sign welcoming us to Faithful informed us of the nine hundred people residing here. It made me think of our first meeting and how innocent she’d looked. Eventually, I’d kicked myself for judging a book by its cover only for it to have been a clue all along. It’s not who she was now or even seven months ago, but once upon a time, it had been.

  Is that why she’d fled to Los Angeles? Had she needed something more than the minuscule town could offer her? Braxton was larger than life, at least to my infatuated eyes, so I could see that being a real possibility.

  The three of us stayed silent as Braxton directed Rich, who was driving, on where to go.

  I almost snorted.

  It’s not like he could get lost since the town couldn’t have had more than three streets. I bet the jail only had one cell, no one ever bothered to use a turn signal, teachers called students by their older sibling’s name, and all the high school parties were held at “the lake” or in a cornfield.

  We rode for a couple of more minutes before I shook my head when we passed some teenagers racing down the street on a lawnmower.

  It was just after one in the morning when we arrived at a small hospital. Rich parked, and after sending a quick text, Braxton climbed out, and we followed.

  I expected her to rush inside, considering her urgency to get here, but she just stood on the sidewalk, staring at the entrance while she breathed in and out deeply through her nose.

  Turning her toward me, I noticed how her lips trembled and tucked her against my chest while Loren and Rich hovered behind her.

  “This was a mistake,” she whispered. “We should just go back.”

  Loren chose that moment to yawn as wide as he could with a look that said he wasn’t going anywhere but to a bed anytime soon. As he looked around, I could hear him talking shit in his head about being dragged to the middle of nowhere for nothing but wisely kept his mouth shut. He was always his bitchiest when he was exhausted, but we all were, so he’d just have to deal.

  “Talk to me,” I urged Braxton.

  She didn’t immediately jump at the chance, and I swallowed my wounded pride when I wondered why.

  “It’s my sister,” she e
ventually mumbled against my chest. “She’s inside.”

  Blinking at nothing, I was floored as I replayed her confession. Until now, it had never occurred to me how little we knew about her. She’d managed to get away with uncovering pieces of our past while giving away nothing of hers in return. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the time to ask her why or berate myself for not demanding to know more.

  Later.

  Asking if her sister was okay would have been redundant since no one goes to hospitals for fun, so I asked instead, “What happened?”

  Before she could answer me, though, someone with a deep voice called her name.

  I felt Braxton stiffen in my arms while her face stayed planted in my chest. She was taking careful, controlled breaths now as if she were psyching herself up to face an opponent in the ring. I was seconds from telling the older man dressed in brown corduroy and a plaid flannel who had her eyes to get lost when she lifted her head and turned her attention toward him.

  “Hi, Dad,” she said brightly despite her trembling in my arms. “It’s nice to see you.”

  He was lucky to be her father when he didn’t return her greeting or her sentiments. “Your mother sent me down here to see what’s keeping you.”

  The look he gave me said he didn’t approve of me touching his daughter and the look I returned dared him and his mustache to do something about it. Braxton’s father was tall like me and well-built, so it would be an evenly matched fight if it came to that, but hopefully, it wouldn’t. I’d hate to fuck up my future father-in-law.

  Braxton, noticing our silent pissing contest, pulled away before walking inside without another word spoken. I didn’t like how she seemed to make herself small as her father followed closely behind, so I added that to the growing list of problems to tackle later.

  Since visiting hours were over and we weren’t entitled to the same perks Braxton got being a local, the three of us waited in the lobby while Braxton visited with her sister.

  “Please tell me I’m not the only one who didn’t know she had a sister,” Loren blurted the moment we were alone. His frown was deep, telling me this bothered him as much as it disturbed me. “Did I miss something?”

  “We all did,” I told him.

  It didn’t make any of us feel better, though, since there were three of us, and we still sucked at this boyfriend thing.

  Rich scrubbed a hand down his face as he stared off in the direction she’d gone. “What else don’t we know about her?” he mused out loud.

  “If she’s secretly married, I’m kicking your ass,” Loren informed him. “That bit of karma’s all on you, bro.”

  “More importantly, what’s been up with you lately?” I finally asked Rich. It pissed me off to see him pulling away from Braxton and not being able to do anything about it. We were supposed to be in this together, not to mention sharing her had been his goddamn idea.

  For some reason, Rich tipped his head toward Loren as if that answered anything. “Ask him.”

  “I’m asking you.”

  Loren taunted Jericho with a Cheshire smile in my peripheral, telling me he had something to do with it, after all.

  Nevertheless.

  I kept my gaze steady on Rich, who sighed.

  “Loren threatened to tell Braxton about Emily if I didn’t back off until I told her myself.”

  My gaze immediately swung to Loren, who looked unapologetic as fuck. “Why would you do that? No, scratch that,” I said before he could answer me. “Why would you do that without talking to me first?”

  “Because last I checked, my balls were attached to my body and not in your pocket.”

  Closing my eyes, I blew air through my nose as I reminded myself that we were in a strange town in the middle of nowhere. Getting arrested because I put Loren in a hospital while in a hospital was not the way I wanted the rest of my weekend to go.

  I decided to let it go for now and focus on something I could change. “When are you planning to tell her?” I asked Rich.

  “He wants to wait until he’s actually divorced as if that will make any goddamn difference.” Loren rolled his eyes. “Actually, it will,” he quickly backtracked. “Because the longer he waits, the deeper her feelings get. Dip shit can’t see that, though.”

  “How hard can it be to find one damn woman? And how much are you paying those detectives?”

  “Finding her is the easy part,” Loren butted in again. The motherfucker couldn’t keep his mouth closed if someone paid him. “Getting to her before she’s tipped off and takes off is where he’s failing. If he would just do what I told him, we’d be square.”

  “I’m not having her kidnapped,” Rich snapped, drawing the attention of the pretty receptionist a few feet away.

  When she continued to stare, waiting to hear more, Loren immediately scowled. “Can we help you?”

  She quickly looked away, and we made sure to lower our voices before resuming our conversation.

  “Maybe it’s time you consider it,” I heard myself say. Normally, I would have agreed with Rich, but that was before Braxton. I didn’t give a fuck about that she-demon we warned him not to marry.

  “No,” he said with a finality that left me no choice but to respect.

  Loren, however, narrowed his eyes at Rich. “I’m starting to think you still have feelings for her.”

  Rich never answered because his attention had been stolen by Braxton coming down the hall. She was alone as she walked with her head down like she was deep in thought as she stared at the freshly waxed floors.

  Pick your head up. Give me your eyes.

  As if she heard me, that’s precisely what she did. I just wasn’t prepared for the utter look of failure in them. Braxton looked defeated, something I once thought impossible even when I relentlessly pursued it for my own satisfaction. I didn’t know what to do as she came toward us. How could I when I didn’t know what put that look in her eyes?

  Loren and Rich were frozen like me when she finally stood before us.

  “We can go now,” she announced before turning toward the exit. She walked through it without looking back, expecting, or perhaps not caring whether we followed or not. Braxton moved like she was on autopilot—like she was drifting in the desert without a direction to go in.

  We were supposed to be her compass.

  There were no words spoken between us before we stood and followed after her.

  When Braxton told us we were leaving, none of us expected her to mean California altogether. It was obvious she wanted to put as much distance between her and whatever happened as fast as she could. It took us putting our foot down when reasoning with our girlfriend hadn’t worked. She’d been reacting off pure emotion while Loren, Rich, and I were still scrambling to catch up.

  Braxton was no help as we searched for accommodations. The brat sat and brooded in the backseat with Rich while Loren rode up front as I drove around aimlessly for half an hour.

  I’d fix her, though.

  Eventually, we found a motel near the airport ran by someone who hadn’t recognized us. The innkeeper smiled like he was in on the joke when I asked for one room, and he noticed there were three of us and only one of her.

  I wrote his name on my mental checklist and accepted the key to our room.

  We were given one on the first floor that smelled like mothballs and smoke even though I’d asked for non-smoking. The small room had wood paneling for walls and shag carpeting in a deep shade of red. There was a box TV on top of an old dresser that I doubt turned on much less worked, a table with two chairs in front of the one window draped by white curtains that had a green, geometric pattern. All I cared about was the king bed centered in the room as exhaustion washed over me for the third time since arriving.

  “So,” Loren said after we were all inside, and he’d taken a seat at the foot of the bed. Rich was sitting in one of the chairs staring at his phone as he checked for updates on how well canceling our show had gone while I hovered by the door. I didn’t trust Br
axton not to run through it the moment our guard was down. “You have a sister.”

  Braxton looked up from the suitcase she was now rifling through to look at each of us. The anger and disappointment in her eyes were momentarily replaced by guilt when she realized we were still in the dark where she’d left us nine, almost ten hours ago.

  “I guess I haven’t been very forthcoming.”

  Understatement.

  “We should have asked,” Rich told her, hefting some of the blame onto our shoulders, which I accepted.

  How could I feel this deeply without knowing everything about her?

  I knew she preferred her left hand even though she was dominant in both. I knew that she held onto her grudges because she hated the truth that she was hopelessly forgiving. I knew she took her coffee black, gorged on action movies, and preferred sleeping in the nude until well after noon. I knew she didn’t wholly believe in the God she prayed to when she thought no one was looking. I knew that her voice’s pitch had been perfected by the synesthesia she’d only hinted at when she told Loren the lyrics he was working on sounded blue.

  I knew all of that, yet there were large and notable gaps that needed to be filled. I was also sure there was nothing else I could learn that would alter my course and that scared the shit out of me.

  “I have a younger sister,” she supplied with a nod. “Her name is Rosalie.” Standing with the items she needed for her shower, she stared at the floor as her mind turned over the thoughts and fears plaguing her. “She wanted to be a doctor someday.”

  I wasn’t sure how many dots she expected us to connect with that, but Braxton made it obvious she was done sharing when she disappeared inside the bathroom before closing and locking the door.

  My eyes had barely opened the next morning when I was thrown on my back by Houston, who I’d apparently draped half my body on top of while I slept. He quickly settled between my legs, keeping me trapped with his weight as he peered down into my eyes.

  He was angry, and I understood why.

  Last night, I refused to talk when I knew they were eager to listen. I’d made demands with no explanation of why I needed them. They hadn’t complained. They simply gave. The only exception had been letting me run away from my problems.