Curse of Soulmate--The Complete Series

by D. N. Leo

  “Recognize this handwriting?” Stefan asked. He read the note out loud, his eyes filled with amusement.

  “We came from dirt, we should return to dirt. I’ve made my choice of destiny. Please forgive and forget me. Consider that what you created was only dirt.

  Your lost daughter and sister,

  Juliette.”

  “She chose me,” Ciaran mumbled to himself.

  But Stefan heard him. “You’re right. As usual, you’re always right. You’re her prince, she always said, her destiny.”

  Then Madeline got it. She understood now. It made perfect sense.

  Guilt was the worst poison for Ciaran. Juliette had decided to betray her family for him. She was going to tell him. They were going to build a new life together. But she didn’t have a chance to tell him any of that.

  Madeline couldn’t undo what Ciaran had seen and had heard. She knew it was better for him to live his life in doubt rather than knowing this naked truth. But it was too late.

  Stefan sat on the floor, grinning like a lunatic.

  Ciaran said nothing and did nothing. There was no movement from him at all.

  Stefan said, between laughs, “She loved Ireland. She wanted a small cottage in the country. She wanted to be a teacher. How cliché was that? Dad always said she was too smart to do anything ordinary. You just do this one for Daddy, and then we’ll set the family up for good. He always pushed her.” Stefan began crying. “This big brother felt utterly stupid standing next to her. I couldn’t do anything to help. She was nineteen. Met you when she was nineteen—and that was the end of her. I told Dad you were bad news. But he didn’t listen to me. And now what? He’s dead. She’s dead. And all I have is this dirt! How is this fair?” Stefan screamed out the question again. “How is this fair?” while he pulled out his gun and shot at Ciaran.

  It was too fast.

  Ciaran didn’t move, as if he was waiting for the bullet.

  Tadgh was faster. He put a bullet in Stefan’s head. Stefan’s arm jerked, but he still managed to fire his gun.

  The impact of the bullet pushed Ciaran a few steps backward, then he slumped to the floor.

  Madeline grabbed at him. She knew it was bad. The bullet had hit Ciaran in his chest. Blood streamed from his wound and pooled on the cold floor.

  She couldn’t stop the blood.

  Tadgh was calling for help and doing something else that Madeline didn’t understand.

  Madeline held Ciaran in her arms, hoping the sitting position would help lessen his blood loss. Ciaran’s head lolled on her shoulder. She knew she was weeping. But she couldn’t help it.

  Ciaran shifted. “Let me see you,” he said.

  “Shhh, I’ve got you. Tadgh is getting help. Don’t talk.”

  “Please,” Ciaran asked again. His voice was so weak that it could hardly be heard.

  Madeline lowered him to the floor. She took her jacket off to roll it under his head. Ciaran looked at her.

  “I don’t want to see you cry,” Ciaran said.

  She couldn’t say anything. She just wept.

  “I knew this day was coming. It’s a debt I had to pay sooner or later. Had I made more progress in our relationship and then left you, it would be unfair to you. But if I didn’t make any progress, it would be unfair to us. Before I go . . .”

  “You’re not going anywhere . . .”

  “I love you, Madeline.” He closed his eyes and didn’t say anything more.

  The room was filled with footsteps and people. Among these people, there was maybe Tadgh, Jo, Doctor Thomas. Madeline wasn’t sure who said what. She just knew that Ciaran was no longer talking to her, or to anyone.

  He just lay there silently in a pool of his own blood.

  Chapter 71

  Jennifer was waiting when they wheeled Ciaran into the operating room. Doctor Thomas hooked up the machine to measure his vital signs.

  Ciaran’s pulse was extremely weak.

  The medical team geared up quickly. No one followed the usual procedure of getting nonmedical personnel outside the room. Everyone stayed—Madeline, Tadgh, Jo, Jennifer, and even Migi.

  In front of Madeline was a haze of noise and moving objects, none of which made any sense.

  What made most sense to her now was that Doctor Thomas was performing some medical procedures and Ciaran was going to be fine. Doctor Thomas was good at what he did.

  He had once told Madeline that neither she nor Ciaran could take responsibility for other’s people’s actions. Juliette’s death had not been Ciaran’s fault, regardless of how he felt. She hoped he understood that.

  Doctor Thomas held a syringe. That must be anesthesia, Madeline thought, knowing Ciaran would pay for it when he awoke. But he would just have to deal with it.

  Ciaran seemed like he was saying something. Yes, he’d said something to Doctor Thomas, so soft that Doctor Thomas had to bend down to listen.

  Doctor Thomas turned around. “Jennifer, he wants you.” Doctor Thomas waved the medical staff outside the room.

  Madeline was confused. Why would he do that?

  Jennifer seemed to know what was going on. A wicked mom she was, Madeline thought. No worries. Madeline would wait for her turn to talk to Ciaran. Mothers come first. She understood.

  Ciaran was so weak. He couldn’t even open his eyes. Jennifer held his hand. She kissed it. She whispered something Madeline couldn’t hear.

  Ciaran forced his eyes open. Those beautiful gray eyes she knew and loved were now blurry with fatigue. Ciaran looked up at his mother, and he said, “I’m sorry.”

  He kept looking at her.

  Madeline was getting more confused. Why did he keep looking at her?

  Then she realized he was no longer looking. His eyes had glassed over. His pulse had stopped, and her world had collapsed.

  The monitor displayed a flat line.

  Jennifer put his hand down. She closed his eyes and kissed his forehead.

  Silence.

  Then Tadgh grabbed Doctor Thomas. “Doctor, you have to do something. Can you resuscitate him? He lost a lot of blood, I . . . I know we have a rare blood type, but you can take mine.”

  Doctor Thomas shook his head. “He’s gone, Tadgh.”

  “What do you mean? You haven’t done anything! He hasn’t tried, he can’t just go . . .” Tadgh didn’t realize he was weeping.

  “I haven’t told him I love him, Jo.” Madeline grabbed her friend. “This is so unfair. He told me he loved me. But I didn’t say anything. That wasn’t right. I was stupid. I didn’t respond . . .”

  “Madeline, he understands. He’s a smart man. Oh for God’s sake, could you please cry? I’d rather you cry than look at me like that.”

  “Like what?” Then she realized her face was dry. There wasn’t a tear in her eyes. Madeline’s body started to shake, but she couldn’t cry. She couldn’t understand what was going on.

  Tadgh grabbed at Doctor Thomas. “You’re a doctor! You cure people! Please help him!”

  “Tadgh, he was too weak to survive an operation, if he even wanted it.”

  “What do you mean?” Tadgh cried. “What do you mean? He didn’t want it?”

  “He knew his time was up, Tadgh. I loved him like my son. If I could have, don’t you think I would have done something for him? You know that when Ciaran didn’t want to fight, nobody could make him.”

  “Nobody?” Madeline’s head poked up from Jo’s shoulder. “Nobody?” Madeline repeated. “Look at him. He looks so peaceful. Wherever he is, he’s enjoying this. He left us in this shit with all of our questions unanswered, with things he promised but didn’t do, and he thinks he can get away with it? Everyone has to try. You have to try, Doctor Thomas. The LeBlancs make drugs. You save lives. How can this be so difficult?”

  Jo pulled Madeline back when Madeline started to cry. She had started to realize the reality of the situation. But she wasn’t sure if she would be able to accept it.

  Jennifer stood silently next to Ciaran du
ring the commotion in the room. Then she turned around and said, “May I have a moment with my family, please?”

  Doctor Thomas, Jo, and Madeline left the room.

  “Please stay, Madeline,” Jennifer said, stopping Madeline in her tracks.

  Madeline approached Jennifer.

  There was not a single tear on the mother’s face. Madeline felt pity for the woman. She felt pity for herself, too. She looked at Jennifer and waited.

  “I believe you love my son, and he loves you.”

  Madeline nodded. What was the point of this, Madeline thought. Why did she use the present tense? Loves.

  “Can you promise me that you would love and take care of Ciaran whenever you could manage it?”

  Whenever she could manage it? Madeline didn’t have to even promise to love him for the rest of her life? What was this woman doing? Madeline had just lost her true love, and Jennifer had lost her son. Madeline wanted to scream and leave this place. She wanted to grieve.

  But now she was stuck here with this woman, feeling ridiculous.

  Madeline realized she had never loved anyone before Ciaran. Yes, she’d had relationships with men, on and off, here and there.

  But love is a sacred word, and if it used with the meaning it deserves, now was the time. It was for Ciaran.

  “I’ll always love him, whether he’s dead or alive. But if you can bring him back, I’ll be with him for the rest of my life, as long as he wants me. How’s that for a promise?”

  Tadgh approached. “Mother, what’s going on?” he asked, the tears still damp on his face.

  Jennifer held up a hand for silence. Then she pulled out a syringe with a golden liquid in it.

  “Mother, what are you doing?”

  Jennifer didn’t answer. She checked the needle, and then she injected the liquid into a vein in Ciaran’s neck.

  Then she watched the monitor.

  Nothing.

  One moment.

  Two moments.

  Then the line jumped once.

  And then again.

  A line showing a healthy pulse ran across the monitor.

  Jennifer nodded with satisfaction. “It’s Ciaran’s Golden Life. Apparently, it works.”

  Tadgh gasped. “Oh my God, oh Jesus Christ. You . . . you killed Juliette for this?”

  “I didn’t kill her. I wanted to teach her a lesson. I wanted their Golden Life to fail. I didn’t know she was going to test the drug on herself. I swapped the drug. When I knew of the testing, it was too late.”

  Madeline was too stunned to speak.

  “How will Ciaran live with this in his body?” Tadgh asked.

  “It’s up to you to tell him—or not. I’ll lose him anyway, one way or another. But this way, I would lose him, but he would live.” Jennifer looked at Tadgh and Madeline.

  “If Ciaran were to never talk to me again for the rest of his life, I’d understand. I’ve never blamed anyone for this but myself.” Jennifer opened the door and found Doctor Thomas waiting outside.

  “Doctor Thomas, Ciaran’s pulse is back. Could you please perform the operation now?” And with that, Jennifer walked away.

  Doctor Thomas stormed into the room and looked at the monitor incredulously. He called out for his medical staff.

  This time, everyone who was not on staff was sent from the room.

  Chapter 72

  Madeline found Jennifer at the end of the hallway in the new quarter of Mon Ciel. Ciaran’s mother looked as if she had aged twenty years since she had walked out of the operating room.

  Madeline gave her a moment before she spoke. “I’ll keep my promise, Jennifer. Thank you for bringing Ciaran back. I owe you my life.”

  Madeline gave Jennifer another moment to digest what she had just said. Then she hugged Jennifer.

  Then and there, Jennifer cried.

  The woman probably had not cried for years. Now, she probably felt old. She probably felt like a mother. Madeline held her for a long moment and let her weep.

  When Jennifer’s emotion subsided, Madeline asked, “Do you really want me to keep this information from Ciaran?”

  Jennifer thought for a moment, then shook her head.

  “He’ll figure it out. I’d rather it come from you. I want you to add your perspective to the story when you tell him.”

  “Why me?”

  “Because you love him like a soul mate. One day, I’d like to see you be the mother of his children.”

  “As far as I’m concerned, Juliette loved him, too.”

  Jennifer shook her head. “Have you ever considered leaving Ciaran if you knew your love could harm him?”

  Madeline remembered it vividly. When she saw the number thirty-three written on the road and made the possible connection to her age, she had considered leaving him. She would have gone away with her grandfather if it would have spared Ciaran what just happened.

  Madeline nodded.

  Jennifer smiled. “If you love someone, you must be prepared to give, to take, and to let go. Out of the three, letting go is the hardest thing to do. Juliette never considered to letting anything go, no matter what it would do to Ciaran. You could argue that one might not understand the concept at twenty-one. But I’d venture to say it’s in the nature of the person, not in their age or life experience.”

  Jennifer took Madeline’s hand and continued. “I speak from personal experience. When you become a mother, you’ll understand.”

  Jennifer put a small locket into Madeline’s hand. “Juliette was his past. You are his future. As long as he can let his past go, he can have a future with you.”

  Jennifer turned on her heel and walked away as Madeline returned to the operation room.

  The familiar scent of his room welcomed Ciaran back to the world. Somehow, this world seemed better and much more pleasant than before. Because in spite of all the dark corners, rough edges, and puzzles life had presented to him, Madeline gave him one special thing, the feeling of being loved.

  It felt good—being loved.

  What happened at Fountains Abbey flooded back to him. But instead of the pain of regret, guilt, or sundry other dark patches of life, the memory was merely an event in a distant past.

  It felt as if a lifetime of grieving had been lifted from him.

  Even Juliette. He could think about her now with fond memories of the good times they had had together. He thought about her right now and recalled her brilliant smile and magnificent hair. He remembered the first time they met, and the smell of old paper in the library. The air around them had been so still that he had sworn he could hear her breathing. He remembered how happy she had been when she’d beaten him for the first time in a computer game. And he knew she was too smart not to know he’d let her win. But she’d enjoyed the victory anyway.

  But those memories were now genuinely memories.

  Previously, they had been mental scars, monuments for him to remember his sins, emotional crimes he had committed which destroyed innocence. A declaration of a lifetime debt to Juliette.

  He remembered the sensation of the bullet penetrating his body. Was that it? His debt had been paid, and now he could move on?

  Then Madeline entered the room like a fresh breeze in spring. She sat at his bedside.

  “Hello!” she said.

  “Hello back.” He smiled at her. She was beautiful. He sat up, leaning against the headboard, and looked at her.

  “Thank you,” she said.

  “For what?”

  “For coming back to me. You wanted to go.”

  He smiled. “I changed my mind.”

  She tucked his hair back and kissed him. Then she eased back and looked into his eyes. “I love you, Ciaran.”

  “That’s why I changed my mind. I’ve let go of whatever happened in the past. I’m hoping to have a future with you—if you’ll accept me.”

  Tears rolled down her face. He wiped them away and rubbed his thumb at the dimple on her left cheek.

  “Yes,” she said.
“Be with me.”

  He pulled her into his arms and felt the vibration of her emotion, of her love.

  Over her shoulder, he saw a pot of Mountain Avens glaring at him from the corner of the room.

  “What’s with the flowers?” he asked.

  She turned around, looking at the bunch of white flowers. “I found them in the back garden. I thought they were very pretty.”

  “They’re Mountain Avens, Madeline.”

  “They have pretty name, too,” she smiled.

  “They were Juliette’s favourite. This special kind doesn’t grow here, so I brought them back from Ireland.”

  “Oh . . . so . . . do you want me to take them out?”

  He smiled and lifted her chin up. “Why? You think they’re pretty. You like them. That’s what matters now.”

  They kissed each other.

  There was jingle in the air, the merry kind. The flowers must have sung for joy because he let them stay in the room with his precious Madeline.

  In the end, they were just flowers. But in a corner of his mind, a tune was playing. “Little hummingbird, do you see the sky? It is free. It is yours. Fly. Past the mountains. Past the oceans. There you will find love . . .”

  He smiled to himself. What a pretty song, he thought.

  Part V

  Elusive

  Chapter 73

  The stench of fresh blood engulfed Madeline. She stormed into the living room of a country house in the middle of the Australian outback. With one hand still clinging to a fish basket and the other gripping a fishing spear, she approached the entrance of the adjacent reception room with caution.

  She wanted to call out for Jo but thought that would be unwise.

  It had been Jo’s idea to travel all the way from New York for an exotic celebration of Jo’s eighteenth birthday. Madeline hoped it didn’t turn into the last trip of her life.

  Madeline went out for the afternoon to take lessons from an Australian Aboriginal on how to catch fish the ancient way. They were going to have a surprise dinner for Jo tonight—a surprise because Jo disliked fish and Madeline didn’t cook.